Lucky*Star: Dare!, Chapter 1: Tsundere Café
誠に恐縮ですが, this is the sequel, a "second season" of Lucky*Star: Truth or Dare! fanfic. If you don't wish to read that story – it's a mammoth of 100,000 words or so – you can read a short summary at the end of this chapter. But I don't think it's too hard to figure out what's going on.
This chapter starts right from where Truth or Dare! ended. It's spring, year 2008 (I think), after entrance exams but before the end of school, and it's a Saturday evening. Kagami and Konata have just, hmm, hit a homerun, so to speak. (#~ω~·#) This first chapter is about two days Kagami and Konata spend together. Sort of.
I don't own Lucky Star and the characters. This story might contain some spoilers for Lucky Star.
Miyuki had left and Tsukasa had returned to her own room. Of course Konata was going to sleep over, in Kagami's room. They didn't even talk about it. Kagami toyed with the idea of taking a bath together with Konata, but she didn't want to raise any more suspicions in her family. Konata's skimpy nurse costume had been bad enough a sight for them. "Uh … how am I going to explain this to my family? I hope Tsukasa doesn't blurt it out at some point …"
"Kagami, I have a work shift tomorrow. I was thinking, could you come with me? I talked to the boss over the phone earlier and … what, are you crying?"
Kagami wiped her tears. "All the emotions today, it's just a bit … overwhelming. You chose a good time to ask. At the moment I might not be able to refuse anything from you. So, even if I have to sit there for six hours …"
"I promise you won't be bored this time. They will actually pay you for tomorrow."
"What? Like hell I will cosplay at that café of yours!" Kagami yelled.
"You will be paid for consultation. The thing is … you have … umm … special assets … talents! Which you can show us."
"S-Special talents? I don't like the sound of this. What do you mean?"
"You are an archetypical tsundere. We are changing to a tsundere café for next month. So, it will be very educational if you show us how it is done – "
"Don't call me tsundere! I don't like to be categorized like I was some anime character!"
"But Kagamin … can't you see? You just switched from deredere to tsuntsun, just like that! You are the best tsundere I have ever met. Even my workmates said they don't know anyone who is as tsundere as you –"
"Stop calling me tsundere! I refuse! I won't do it!"
"But Kagamin, please … don't you know why I am still working there? It's because I want to earn some money for our vacation. I want to take you to some romantic place, to pamper you … to buy you a very nice dinner … to rent a honeymoon suite for us … because I love you, Kagamin," Konata cooed, and wrapped her arms around Kagami's neck.
By now, Kagami was blushing brightly and had stopped arguing. "I … uhh … o-okay …"
"And what's so funny now!" Kagami groaned. "Wait, what? Honeymoon suite? We can't rent a honeymoon suite!"
"People will get the wrong idea! … I mean, not the wrong idea … two girls renting a honeymoon suite is just weird! What will they be thinking?"
"They will think that we are lovers, doing all sorts of ero-ero stuff all night. Oi! Whadda ya know, that's exactly what we are going to –"
"I know that! That was just a rhetorical question! I couldn't go to a hotel knowing the hotel staff is thinking about that! … Wait a minute? Vacation? What vacation? Do you mean that road trip you joked about?"
"Nah, driving all day would be far too tiresome. I was thinking of flying to Okinawa or Hokkaido or something."
"What? Neither place is really known for otaku attractions."
"Oh, that's right! What was I thinking?" Konata gasped, and slapped her forehead.
"Don't get me wrong! I'd like to have a vacation away from otaku stuff, for a change."
"Okay. We have plenty of time to plan the vacation anyway. There's a more urgent matter at hand. What will you be wearing tomorrow?"
"I said I don't want to cosplay!"
"You already promised, Kagamin. It's a cosplay café, so it's mandatory to dress up. So, first, let's get all your clothes off and take measures!"
"What? No! I don't want you to see me like that … and to know my measures …"
"Kagami, you forgot what we did today. Now there's definitely nothing I haven't seen before!"
"What if someone barges in while we are … ugh, am I seriously considering doing this? I must be crazy."
"Yeah, you are crazy for me …" Konata said, pushing her face really close to Kagami's.
Kagami sighed deeply, pried Konata off of her, and went to lock the door.
デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ
"Okay, your total leg length is …" Konata said, and scribbled down the measure. "What's your shoe size?"
"Twenty-five," Kagami muttered. "Yeah, I know!" she snapped, before Konata said anything. "My feet are big!"
"But I like them! Let's measure your toes! Kagamin's little – I mean, big toes are so cute!"
Konata grabbed Kagami's foot, took a hold of her big toe, and tried to use the measuring tape.
Kagami screamed in laughter. "Stop! Stop! It tickles! It tickles so much!"
She yanked her foot away from Konata, rubbed her toe, and said, "Konata, isn't this quite enough already? Do you really need all that information?"
Konata grinned and answered, "No, not really. You have to wear the M*ku costume anyway, we don't have anything else available that would fit you."
"You little devil! … why did you need all my body measures then?"
"All of Kagami-chan's data is a precious treasure to me!" Konata chirped, and pressed the book against her cheek.
"Give me that book! I will burn it!" Kagami screamed.
"You can't, it's your math exercise book!" Konata said, and dodged behind the chair. Kagami tried to cover her strategic parts, which made it hard to catch the little devil.
"Kagami, why is the door locked? I want to borrow that new light novel," Matsuri's voice said from behind the door.
Kagami forgot about Konata, quickly put on her bathrobe, and unlocked the door.
"I was … just going to take a bath!" she explained.
Matsuri looked at her, and at Konata. "Kagami, that's rude. Our guest should be the first. But why don't you two take the bath together? It would save some time."
"Yes!" Konata shouted, while Kagami yelled, "No!"
"Why not?" Matsuri asked.
"Because – she pulls pranks on me all the time! I can't bathe with someone like that!"
"It's okay, Kagamin. I promise I'll be good," Konata said, using her best puppy look.
"I don't believe you, you little macaque!"
Matsuri scratched her head, and said, "Oh! I saw a TV program about those. They said macaques make a hot spring smell really awful."
"Hey! I'm not smelly! Kagami, you should know, since we just had a sixt–"
"Shut up!" Kagami screamed, sounding slightly hysterical.
Matsuri was preoccupied with finding the light novel, and noted absent-mindedly, "Hmm … yet you undress in the same room, behind a locked door. What are you doing, having some girl-on-girl action?"
Kagami turned bright red instantly.
"Ah. Here it is," Matsuri added, having found the book she was looking for. "Okay, Izumi. I'll take the bath with you, since Kagami doesn't want to. I think it will be fun. You are kinda cute, and –"
"No! I will never allow that!" Kagami yelled.
Matsuri looked at her. "What?"
"I mean … if it is such a big deal … I will take the bath with Konata!" Kagami said.
"Hmph," Matsuri said, and left the room.
"Kagamin, aren't you excited? Our first bath together!" Konata said, after Matsuri was gone.
"It's not! And you almost blurted it out!"
"What? … oh. So what? I would like to tell the whole world! Kagami and I are lovers! I love Kagamin! We sleep together! We have sex! We are having even more hot girl-on-girl action tonight!" Konata shouted.
"Shut up or I'll strangle you! Never shout out things like that! I don't want anyone to know!"
Konata pretended to cry. "Waah! My Kagamin is ashamed of me!"
Kagami knew Konata was just acting, but she got a point. Softly, she said, "No … no, it's not that. It's just … I don't know how they will react. We have to think about how to tell them. And we must not let the entire school know. Things would be awkward."
Konata's expression changed. Kagami knew that look. "Hey! Don't get any weird ideas!" she snapped. "I bet you were just thinking about kissing me at the graduation or something."
"You know me well …" Konata said, and started to take off her clothes. Kagami found herself staring at Konata, unable to look away.
デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ
"I was wondering … what do the macaques do in the bath?" Konata asked. They were in the bathtub together. Despite Kagami's fears, so far Konata had not pulled any pranks.
"How should I know – " Kagami was cut short, and she yelped as she felt Konata's hand squeezing an inappropriate place.
"I bet they do this!" Konata said, and used her other hand as well. "And this!"
"Get your hands off of me!"
"Come on, Kagamin, I know you are enjoying it –"
"Oh yeah? Let me give you a taste of your own medicine!" Kagami said, and grabbed Konata's assets. "Hmph. There isn't much to grasp here …" she said.
"Hey! It's unfair to attack a weak spot! Besides, I know you like my body."
"Do you think I'm some perverted lolicon?"
"I'm not sure. Are you? You did like that Rikku cosplayer on the train, when we were coming from Comiket."
"I don't think she looked like a child … wait a minute, I didn't like her in that way! She was just prettier than that other one. And you forced me to choose!"
"Yeah, I know. But still, it's evidence! Detective Konan shall investigate this further!"
"So, do you want me to get a Brazilian waxing?"
Kagami just stared at Konata, but the color of her cheeks revealed that she knew what Konata was talking about.
"I knew it!"
"No, you didn't! And I don't want that!"
デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ
They had returned to Kagami's room, after telling the others the bath was free.
Kagami had sat down to dry and brush her hair. Deep in thoughts, she vaguely registered Konata changing into her pajamas and heard the noise of her game console.
"Konata –" she said, and turned around. Konata was in bed already, under the covers, and playing with her console.
"Wait a minute! What are you doing there?"
"Playing. While waiting for you to join me, of course. Why?"
"We can't sleep together! What if someone like Matsuri barges in?"
"I'll say I was having a nightmare and needed to sleep beside you."
"But there's no guest futon on the floor! They won't believe it!"
Kagami stood up, grabbed Konata's arm, and started to pull her off the bed. Konata dropped her console and tried to grab whatever was available to stop her from being ejected. All she got hold of were the pillow and the covers. They slid onto the floor with her.
Konata's hand came out from under the covers and grabbed Kagami's ankle. She lost balance and fell onto Konata. Fortunately the pillow and the covers cushioned the fall.
Konata yanked the pillow into her hands and hit Kagami on the head with it.
Kagami grabbed Konata's arm and tried to take the pillow with her free hand. Konata rolled over and pulled Kagami with her, until they were on top of each other, entangled with each others' limbs and the covers.
At this point, Matsuri barged in. "Kagami, where's the previous novel of this series –" she said, and then stopped and stared at them.
"We were just practicing some judo!" Konata said, while Kagami said, "I just slipped and fell on top of her!"
Matsuri laughed, and said "Hold that pose, I'll get my camera!"
"No!" Kagami screamed, but Konata wrapped her head into the covers and stopped her from escaping.
"Quickly, Matsuri! And I want copies of them!" Konata yelled.
Kagami struggled violently and yelled something, but the covers muffled her voice.
デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ
"Last night was a nightmare. I didn't get enough sleep," Kagami groaned. "And why are you still clinging onto me, you little burr!"
They were in the bathroom. Kagami was just about to brush her teeth. Konata had followed her in and refused to leave.
"Lovers always go to the bathroom and toilet together!" Konata announced.
"No, they don't! That's gross! And don't call us lovers! Someone might hear!"
"Kagamin, if you shout so loud, they will hear."
Kagami couldn't answer because she had the toothbrush in her mouth, so she just mumbled something.
"Kagami, remember that today you need to use blue-green ribbons!" Konata said, playing with Kagami's hair.
Kagami snarled at her.
"And you should choose your panties carefully! The skirt of that costume is rather short, you know," Konata added, pulled Kagami's pajama pants by the elastic, and peeked in.
Kagami spluttered, and slapped Konata's wrist with her free hand.
"Waah, domestic violence!" Konata cried.
デリミタ デリミタ デリミタ
"Explain to me, how you got me to dress in this again? I can't believe it!" Kagami said.
"Well, I let you have your way with my body last night –"
"Stop! Don't explain it to me!"
Kagami was already flustered, and not even the other workers had yet seen her. They were at Konata's workplace, in the dressing room. Kagami was dressed as Hat*une Mi*u, and the costume felt as revealing as before. Even worse, because this time total strangers would see her wearing it.
Patricia came in, without knocking first.
"Good morning! Kona-chan, Hiiragi-senpai! Oh … I see you have already changed your clothes," Patricia noted, looking disappointed.
Kagami glared at her suspiciously.
"Naughty, Patty-chan! I don't like you trying to peep at mai waifu!" Konata exclaimed.
"But your waifu is hot!" Patricia said.
Kagami blushed and glared at her again. She turned her gaze, as Patricia was quickly removing her clothes for changing into her costume.
"How are things with Hiyorin?" Konata asked.
"Great! She's coming here later today. Hope she doesn't bleed to death off her nose," Patricia said, eyeing Kagami. "Oh, by the way, we will travel to the States together at vacation."
"How come so many of our friends are queer?" Kagami pondered.
Konata and Patricia both giggled. "You are one too!"
"… so what? I'm not as bad as you two, and Hiyori!"
"Yeah, we are the worst. Anyway, we are about to open soon, so let's go," Patricia said, tying her apron.
Konata and Patricia explained the routines to Kagami and showed her where to find everything.
"All right. Heard the bell? It means a customer is coming. Go to the door, Kagami, and say 'Welcome home, wealthy merchant-master,' when he enters," Konata explained, hurrying Kagami forth.
"He? How do you know it's a boy?" Kagami asked. "Is there a different sound for female customers?"
Konata giggled. "No, but almost all of our customers are male."
Kagami sighed and waited at the door. She glared at Konata when she produced a digital video camera from somewhere and started recording. "Konata, you'd better never show this video to anyone but the people working here. I mean it!"
"Hush. Prepare for the customer. Put a big smile on your face!" Konata commanded.
"I don't think – " Kagami started, but the door began to open and she turned to face it.
"Welcome ho – yech!" Kagami yelped, as she saw the customer. It was a boy – a fat and ugly one, who was breathing heavily. Kagami quickly took a few steps backwards, almost knocking Konata down.
Kagami completely forgot about what she was supposed to say. She just made a vague gesture and walked away.
"Kagami, you should show the customer in and lead him into a vacant table," Konata whispered.
"Yeah, yeah. Come in, sit down … at that table," Kagami said, keeping her distance. She was sure the boy was smelly, but she didn't want to confirm that. "Why is he breathing like that? It's disgusting!" she thought, forgetting that the café was at the third floor.
Konata had a hard time to stop herself from laughing. The finished video would show the camera twitching at times.
"What?" she asked, as the boy stared at her. She wanted to say, 'Don't look at me!' but she felt that would have been too rude.
"Kagami, tell him the rules and bring a menu," Konata adviced.
"Oh. Right. The first hour is 800 yen, you can have any drinks you like and any snacks you like, read manga, and play whatever games you want – " while talking, Kagami took a menu from the counter and tossed it at the table, still trying to keep her distance.
The boy looked at her with his mouth open, glanced at the menu, and asked, "What's this House Mix Juice Juice like?"
The boy had an annoying, high-pitched voice. "How should I know!" Kagami snapped.
Konata made a strange sound, as if blowing raspberries. Kagami glared at her, and said, "What's so damn funny!"
"N-nothing! Kagami, you are just so great! Perfect!" Konata said, trying desperately to hold back laughter.
After bringing the customer his coke, Kagami received a few more guests. All of them were boys, and she didn't exactly like any of them. "I hate geeks …" she sighed.
"Oh! Kagami, that's a good one. You got to say it a bit louder so that they will hear!" Konata commented.
"Shut up! You are not paying me enough!"
The bell indicated that another customer was coming. Kagami marched to the door, stomping with her feet. "If it's another smelly nerd, I'm going to say we are full!"
Konata giggled. "You are awesome!"
Behind the door was a surprisingly handsome young lad, dressed in a snappy school uniform.
"Kagami, let me handle him," Konata whispered, and tugged at Kagami's sleeve.
"Get away!" Konata whispered. "For once it's not some freak!"
Kagami shook Konata off and said, "Welcome, rich shopkeeper sir!"
"Welcome home, wealthy merchant-master!" Konata whispered.
"Stop distracting me!" Kagami hissed back. "Come on in, there's plenty of room," she said to the customer.
"Oh, thank you, miss!" the boy responded, staring at Kagami wide-eyed. "Are you new here, miss?"
"Sort of – will you get that camera off my face!" Kagami snapped at Konata.
Konata looked apprehensive. "Kagami, let me take over," she whispered.
"What? Do you like him so much?" Kagami whispered back, as they were walking ahead of the new customer.
"No, but –"
"Can I sit here, miss?" the handsome lad asked.
"Certainly. First hour is 800 yen –"
"I know the rules, thank you. I'd like a glass of 'Mother's Milk', please," the customer said, and smiled at Kagami.
"Kagami, let me bring that –" Konata interrupted.
"Will you shut up and stop bothering me! I didn't see you offering any help with all these disgusting, sweaty, smelly nerds!" Kagami shouted. The disgusting, sweaty, smelly nerds – which included most of the customers – looked hurt.
"But, Kagami –"
"No buts! Let me do my job! Isn't that what you wanted?"
"Yes, Kagami, but –"
"Shut up! Shut up!" Kagami yelled, while she hurried into the kitchen. "What the heck is 'Mother's Milk'?"
"I don't know," Konata said, "We just bring him ordinary milk and he never complaints. But Kagami, could you let me –"
"You are making me really mad!" Kagami hissed, and snatched the glass from Konata.
Kagami took a milk bottle from the fridge, and poured it into the glass. Konata opened her mouth, but Kagami glared at her so nastily, that she didn't dare to say anything else.
"Here's your milk, sir. Sorry about the disturbance. That little brat –" Kagami said, as she placed the milk onto the table.
"Oops. I dropped a coin. I think it's under that chair. Could you get it for me, miss?" the handsome customer said.
"Oh. Certainly," Kagami said, and reached under the chair. "I don't see –"
She yelped as she felt the guy's fingers pinching the back of her thigh.
Unfortunately, Kagami was still carrying the tray. Konata guessed what would happen, quickly took a couple of steps backwards, and kept recording the incident on video.
Kagami raised herself up, turned around, and smashed the tray onto the guy's forehead with all her strength. The plastic tray went into pieces.
The customer fell backwards in his chair and crashed onto the floor.
"Kagami, that was great, but a bit too extreme. Even for a tsundere theme –" Konata noted.
"That creep pinched my … I will kill him!" Kagami screamed, and was about to kick the dazed man. Konata grabbed her arm and dragged her away.
"Kagami," Konata whispered. "I would like to kick him too … but we can't. Let's just hope he learned his lesson this time."
"This time? You mean he has done that before?"
"Yeah, we call him the Squid. He tends to grope or pinch the waitresses. But this time –"
"Hey, you! Get up and get out. You are banned from this place, permanently," the fat boy – the one who had been the first to arrive – said.
"Why is that customer telling the bastard that he's banned?" Kagami asked.
"Oh, that customer is one of the owners," Konata said nonchalantly. "He's some kind of an IT guru and has loads of money."
"What? Why didn't you tell me?" Kagami yelled.
"You wouldn't have behaved like a tsundere I had told you," Konata explained.
"But I was very rude at him!"
"No, you did just what we expected. It was great! Oh, by the way, did he pinch you hard, Kagamin? Want me to kiss the pain away?"
"Not right now, thank you," Kagami growled.
"Hmm … but now we won't see how a tsundere bids farewell to a customer," Konata noted.
Kagami glared around. She walked up to one of the customers, and growled, "You! Get out! Your smell disturbs me … the other customers!"
The customer, a stocky boy wearing glasses, looked at her with his mouth open. "Out! Out, I said!" Kagami yelled, and pointed at the door.
The boy quickly grabbed his backpack and ran away, almost bumping into Hiyori at the doorway.
"There are other customers I don't like … I can throw them all out!" Kagami said.
The other customers cowered in fear.
Hiyori was standing at the entrance, and looked at Kagami with her mouth open. Fortunately this wasn't the first time she had seen Kagami in that dress, but she had to lean on the wall anyway.
Patricia dashed to Hiyori, snatched her onto her arms, and kissed her passionately, making several of the customers to have a nosebleed.
"Kagamin, we should do that too! It's good for business!" Konata noted, filming the pair.
"But I don't want to kiss Hiyori!" Kagami said.
"Go ahead. I won't mind!" Konata said, going along with the joke. "Kagami, that was a joke, wasn't it?"
In the previous story, Konata earned 400,000 yen from her Comiket trades, but since she got a driver's license and took several extra private college exams (they cost a lot), she's again broke.
Kagami was supposed to say "Okaerinasai mase, goushoujin-sama", a very polite welcome one would hear at a cosplay or maid kissa.
A very short summary of Lucky*Star: Truth or Dare! follows.
After lots of playing truth or dare, wild parties, cosplaying, karaoke, and other adventures, Yutaka and Minami, Patricia and Hiyori, and Konata and Kagami are now a pair. Their families do not know about it. Tsukasa and Miyuki have had some fun together, but that's about it. Not everyone is gay (yet (#n_n#)).
Konata acquired a driver's license and Yui's old car (Subaru Vivio; it's a real Subaru model and Yui's car in the anime – I had no idea about Mahō Shōjo Ririkaru Nanoha!). Konata learned to drive, eventually.
Sōjirō Izumi and Yukari Takara have had an affair. Now, Yukari is divorcing her husband and will marry Sōjirō eventually. So, Miyuki is now Konata's big sister (in chest size, if not by age ((*¬*)).
All the third year students have taken their entrance exams and are currently waiting for the results. Patricia decided to stay in Japan indefinitely (usually exchange students stay for one year only), but she and Hiyori are going to take a long trip to the United States during their summer break.
Kuroi-sensei is still unmarried. She finally found out that Yui is married, and was devastated.
So, something has actually happened – which doesn't happen in canon Lucky Star (n_n).