You give love a bad name

By Miss P.

Summary: His venom was running through my veins. I was forever his, whether he wanted me or not. Victoria/James

Disclaimer: I don't own any Twilight character…

AN/ The song used in this story is "You give love a bad name" by Jon Bon Jovi


My lover. My creator. My life. James was everything to me. He was the only one who made me feel alive. He let me feel that my body wasn't as dead as my heart was. I could feel the passion… and the pain. There were times when I questioned his feelings for me. But no matter what they were, I couldn't leave him. His venom was running through my veins. I was forever his, whether he wanted me or not. No matter what his reasons for wanting me were.

An angel's smile is what you sell
You promise me heaven then put me through hell
Chains of love got a hold on me
When passion's a prison you can't break free

He was a devil in angel disguise. I hadn't even been able to run from him when he had threatened to kill me. I hadn't fought him when his teeth punctured my skin. I had trusted his promise of a better life. Well I won't complain too much, I've learned to live with what I've become. He taught me well. He made me who I am. He encouraged every kill, and rewarded me for every human I drained. It made me feel loved. For the wrong reasons maybe, but why would I care?

Even now, when I've come to know his true character, I can't break free. I'm bound to him. I love him, more than I'd ever loved anyone in my human life. But I'm not stupid. I've known for quite a while now, that he doesn't have the same definition of the word love, as I have. What he loves about me; is my body, my perfectly convenient ability to escape, and of course, having someone to dominate.

James was never one to whisper sweet words or care about not hurting your feelings. I'm not sure he even knew what the word feeling meant. He only acted out of instinct or passion. Some days with him has been pure hell for me, torture even. But I like to think of the more pleasurable times.

Whoa! You're a loaded gun
Whoa! There's nowhere to run
No one can save me
The damage is done

Maybe I'm some kind a masochist. I don't care that he hurts me, that his teeth leave scars on my body; at least I'm still able to feel. And feeling pain; is much better than to not feel anything at all.

I am too far gone to be saved, or to save myself. I'm not even sure there is a life away from James. What would I do? I would be alone and confused. I have no choice but to stay with him, and I don't want any other choice.

Shot through the heart
And you're to blame
You give love a bad name
I play my part
And you play your game
You give love a bad name

He could kill me so easily; I wouldn't stop him if that was what he wanted. Was there anything I wouldn't do for him? Not that I think he would want to kill me, what would be the fun of that? He needs me, in some twisted way. Not in the same way that I need him, but I'm satisfied with the little I get from him. I've been forced to learn to live with it. I'm just a toy to him, someone to play with whenever he feels like it. It doesn't matter to him, what I need. But I've learned to live with that too. I've learned the hard way; arguing with James is not a good thing.

It's not much of a thrill for me, the tracking I mean. But I always play along because I know he wants me to. It's a game to him, the most exciting kind. And of course, there's usually a reward, the poor little innocent human, the snack. That's what I love about it.

Maybe I should be disgusted by my own thoughts; maybe I am horrible for not being so, but honestly I don't care. All that matters to me is that James and I are together. It doesn't matter what he makes me do, because there is nothing I wouldn't do for him. Nothing. Isn't that what love is all about?

But if I asked him what he would do for me, I'm not sure he would even have an answer to that. He does what he feels like, and that's not necessary a good thing. Actually it usually never is. If James has the right definition, he surely gives love a bad name.


The End.