A/N: I don't own Twilight or The Bad Mother's Handbook but I do own 13 Neil Diamond albums.
Thanks to Rosmarina for editing this chapter and to Blackhale82, Crissee, and TwistedCoincidence for prereading.
THANK YOU ALL for the support you have given my story. :-)
Chapter 26 – My Release
Theme Song – Bad Boys by Bob Marley
As relaxing as the massage circle had been, I was awake most of the night with a tummy ache, anxiety, and a sore sphincter. Eventually I fell into a fitful sleep dreaming of being back in my parent's house in Guildford. The next morning I woke up feeling depressed and exhausted. My mouth felt fuzzy and I desperately wanted to brush my teeth.
When I heard a commotion in the front of the police station, I sat up too fast and bumped my head. As I grabbed my forehead in agony, I could just barely make out the conversation through the doors.
"Well, what about conjugal visits?" Bella? Oh goodness they're here! She sounded upset.
"Come on Bells, you have to be married for that." There's Chief Swan. I was so relieved that he was alright!
"Okay then," she replied coolly.
Chief Swan let out an exasperated sigh. "You can't be serious!"
"Bella, don't you think you're a little young to be getting married? Let's NOT give your father a heart attack on top of a shot-up ass." Thank goodness, Emmett. You're here too, bro!
"Damn right!" Chief Swan sounded angry.
"You know, Chief, living in a small town is great." I could actually hear Emmett slap him on the back. I wonder if Chief Swan flinches like I do. "Those hot nurses took such good care of you. That's what's great about living in a small town, you know. The personal treatment, the care of the WHOLE community when one of its folks is down. Once word gets out on the front page of the Forks Review, that the Police Chief's future-son-in-law shot him in the ass in his own yard with his own 22, I'll bet the community will rally around and fill up the deep freeze out in the garage with casseroles." Emmett chuckled. "You'd better clear out some of that steelhead and venison."
After several moments of silence, I heard Chief Swan yell. "Hey Leah!"
Leah sounded close by. "Hang on, Chief. Let me find the keys."
"Daddy, can I go see him?"
"Fine." The Chief grumbled.
Through the doors ran my Bella. The most beautiful sight I have ever seen even though she looked as if she hadn't slept at all and her clothes were wrinkled. I looked down and saw that she still had on her bunny slippers. Oh heavens, she never went home after we go to the hospital!
"Daniel!" She ran up to the bars.
I quickly jumped down from my bunk in a flash and ran over to hold her hands through the bars. The pain in my head subsided at the vision of my sweet girl.
"Ooooh, sexy mama! " Wayne let out a whistle.
I promptly heard a smack behind me. "That's Charlie's daughter, dumbass."
"Oh shit, sorry Bella." He paused. "Wow, college has been good for you, sweetheart… Hey, remember when you used to babysit little Riley? He's almost 6 feet tall now. You were an awesome babysitter!"
"Thanks," Bella looked down, embarrassed. "Well, I've only been away four months."
I felt a growling in my chest. I turned around and glared at my jail mates. She's mine. Mine, all mine. She's my precious! I stood there listening to my inner voices. I was going mad from too long in the slammer.
Wait Daniel, You're not Gollum and this is not Lord of the Rings. Get a hold of yourself, mate. Prison is doing funny things to your mind, what with feeling like a caged animal and all the testosterone permeating the room. Quickly I came back to my senses and adjusted my glasses. All my sweating made them run down my nose.
I turned back and looked at Bella's angelic face. As I stared into her chocolate brown eyeballs, I felt my shame all the way down to my inner core. "You're a beautiful woman, Bella. You deserve so much better." I propped my forearm up to the bars and rested my head against it as I sighed out. "Oh Bella, as much as I would love to make love to you in a jail cell. It's been a fantasy of mine, you know…. you play the lady prison officer who keeps me handcuffed and holds my legs down with a nightstick as you ride my thick, hard shaft in the reverse cowgirl position… I just couldn't let you tie yourself down to me. I'm a criminal, Bella. They will probably deport me back to England." I looked back up at her face and paused for a moment. "And you deserve better. A better life. One without the likes of me…" I trailed off as I turned away and resigned myself to a lifetime of prison food and public bowel movements. Although the food at the Forks jail was admittedly quite good. At least I had TV dinners to look forward to each night.
I began my ascent up my bunk in shame and self-loathing.
Bella took a deep breath. "Get back over here you sweet, silly boy."
I did as I was told and reached for her large delicate hands once more.
"Look sweetie." Bella rubbed her fingers over my knuckles to relax me. "Everything is going to be alright. You're going to be set free and the charges dropped. Charlie wouldn't have even had you arrested. I think it just looked bad to Leah what with the speeding cop car and the gunshot wound to my dad's butt and all."
"How's your father?"
"Pissed off." Bella chuckled. "But totally fine. Well he will be soon. They cleaned out his ass last yesterday while we hung out at the hospital. He had a few complications and they moved at a snail's pace but he's fine. Once we knew my Dad would be okay and Emmett received your phone call, he contacted his parents who called a lawyer for you and talked to my Dad. Dad knows you aren't a criminal, even if he would like to lock you up for dating me. Turns out the lawyer wasn't even necessary. It was a mistake and Leah is going to let you out in just a minute."
I was so relieved. "I-I thought you would hate me." I choked out, trying to hold back a sob. I was unsuccessful as the tears flowed down my cheeks.
"D-do you still want me?" I groveled.
"Of course, Daniel," Bella cooed. "I could never ever hate you. It's going to all be fine."
She reached through the bars to pull up my glasses and wipe the tears that had escaped. She didn't get them back on right because when I leaned through the bars to give her a kiss, they were knocked to the floor.
Emmett had snuck over without me noticing. He reached through the lower bars to grab my glasses and handed them back to me. He greeted my jail-mates as I pulled my emotions together. Everyone in this village knows each other.
"Hey bro!" he greeted me enthusiastically, punctuating it with a bro-fist. "Ah fuck it, I need a hug, man." Emmett reached through and pulled me to him. It felt good in his arms, pressed against the bars.
"I'm so fucking sorry that you got hauled away. At first we both thought you were behind us, then when you didn't join in at the puzzle table, we figured you were in the men's room. Eventually, I went in looking for you and figured that since I was already there I'd drop a deuce. Apparently, you called while I was on the throne, only it showed up as a private number so I didn't answer it. Sorry, bro! Anyhoo, after another hour of trying to figure out where the fuck you ran off to, it finally dawned on us that it might have been you calling. After checking around we found out where you were. I had to stay with Bella but I turned you over to my parents. I didn't mean to let you down-"
"Hey thanks, bro! I should have known you would have my back." I couldn't let him finish his last sentence. I couldn't allow him to blame himself for my own mishaps.
"You know it, dude." Emmett, relieved, started laughing. "Um… Grammy found out and had a shit fit. She left several threatening messages on Charlie's cell phone. Thankfully, I was holding his pants with his cell in it and Bella figured out his PIN so we could delete them all. Man, I have never heard Grammy talk like that. She would put a fleet of sailors to shame."
Bella chimed in with a smile. "No doubt she would have broken you out of jail if we hadn't settled things first. Hey, listen to this. I forwarded my favorite message to myself."
Bella put her phone on speaker with a giggle.
"Listen here you redneck piece of shit. I will kick your fucking ass if you don't let that sweet, innocent boy out of jail pronto. That lovely boy is my special adopted grandson and I will use all my power to assure his happiness."
Then Grammy paused to lower her voice.
"Don't make me go loco on your ass, you motherfucker. I've got connections." CLICK!
I felt all warm and fuzzy inside that Grammy called me her grandson. I hoped Emmett was willing to share. I looked over in shock at Bella and Emmett. "Wow, Grammy has some spunk in her!"
"Yeah, don't fuck with my Grammy!" Emmett's eyes were proud. He continued. "What a fucking day and long-ass night! Let's get you out of here and get some food, Danny Boy. I could really go for some biscuits and gravy. "
The doors to the hallway swung open and Leah came in to let me out.
"Hey guys," I turned back to my new friends. "Thank you for making me feel like a part of your posse. If I ever go to jail again, I hope I can share a cell with you blokes. All in all, I had a really nice time."
I couldn't wait to get home and sit on the toilet.
"Hey Dan, stop by the tavern next time you're in town."
"Thanks Mr. Tiny!"
"Sorry about whistling at your woman there. Hmph, Bella's grown up real nice. Real nice."
"Yes, she most certainly has!" I concurred with Miss Wayne and then looked over at Lenny. "Hey mate, try and cut back on the booze, alright? It's not doing you any good. Other than the food, spending weekends here isn't fun now, is it?"
"Nah, man. I miss my old lady. And I know she gets awful horny without me."
"So are you going to check into those AA meetings we discussed last night?"
"Yeah, I sure will, Dan." Lenny gave me a thumbs up from his bunk.
The jangle of Leah's key turning in the lock was sweet music to my ears. As soon as I was free, I clung to Bella, loving the feel of her soft, beautiful body. I wanted to kiss her and devour her mouth but I knew I had a screaming case of halitosis, not having brushed my teeth in the past 24 hours.
Bella didn't seem to care, kissing and squeezing me with all her exuberance. She then squeezed me a little too hard and a bit of flatulence seeped out.
"What was that squeak?" she asked.
She noticed the sound but since I hadn't gotten to that point in our relationship where we pass gas in front of each other, I played dumb.
"Hmm… maybe the bars? Let's go home then, shall we?" I wanted us to get out as soon as possible in case it was a stinker. And I really needed to use the toilet.
As soon as we were through the doors, Chief Swan was waiting for me. My stomach sank.
"I need to speak with Daniel... Alone!" He added for emphasis. "Let's have a little chat in the interrogation room, son."
"Uh… yes sir." I lowered my eyes and followed him as he hobbled along with a cane. His injury and short-term disability was entirely my fault.
Time to "cowboy up", Daniel.
"Chief Swan…" I got out. "I am so terribly sorry. I swear it was a complete accident. I would never want to hurt anyone, especially not my girlfriend's father, whom I know she loves very much. Although once, when I was a young lad, I accidentally squished my hamst-"
The Chief held up his hand to stop me.
"Look son," he cleared his throat. "I know it was an accident. And really, it was my own damn fault. I was just so excited to have us do something to bond over. You know, I just wanted to be down with the kids and hang out with my daughter's boyfriend. I should have been more careful. Let's uh… let's just pretend this never happened."
"Absolutely, sir!" I wasn't expecting that. My eyebrows had climbed up my forehead and I pushed my glasses back into place. "Um, I will gladly assist you all I can in your recovery. I would really like to help you out."
"Nah," he waved me off. "I can walk. Just have to take it easy for a few weeks. I've been saving up sick time for years." He sighed. "It's about time I took a little time to myself. Maybe I will catch up on some old movies, read up on a little history, maybe tie some flies."
I nodded my head. "That sounds like a wonderful idea. You could get Netflix. I hear The Tudors HBO series is quite educational."
"Yeah? I'll look into that one. I love documentaries." Chief Swan grabbed my shoulder. "Let's get you home, kid."
"Sure thing, Chief!"
When we pulled into Bella's drive way, we noticed a brown car and a woman standing on the front steps wearing an old fashioned nurse's uniform and red platform heels .
Emmett gave Chief Swan a knowing look. "Oh yeah, Charlie!"
"What's Mrs. Clearwater doing here, Dad?"
Chief Swan suddenly looked rather uncomfortable. "Oh, well I arranged for some home care before I left the hospital." He cleared his throat. "I uh… I didn't want to burden you on your school break, plus you work a lot so…"
"Oh my god! She's a total M.I.L.F!" Emmett exclaimed. "If I was older and unattached, I'd totally hit that. She is like super old but just look how hot she is. Shit! She must be in her early 40's by now. I kinda wish I was the one who got shot, just so she'd tend to my ass."
Bella smacked Emmett in the back of the head. "Dad, I think it's great. Mrs. Clearwater is one of the best nurses at the care center and she's very professional. I just hope it's not too expensive."
"No, no Princess. Don't you worry about that. I got a special rate…"
"Well, okay then." Bella shrugged.
"Wait, is she related to Officer Clearwater?" I inquired.
Emmett turned around. "That's her mom, dude. And her son Seth was in our class."
Chief Swan seemed anxious to leave. "Yep, they're a real nice family. Now, Bells, why don't you drop me off and then go help Daniel get settled in. I know I'll be in really good hands with Mrs. Clearwater here. You kids run along. You deserve a little R&R."
Once Bella was assured that her father would be well taken care of, we drove back to Emmett's house where I was greeted with hugs from his entire family, including some comforting bun rubs from Grammy. As wonderful as that was, I had one pressing need.
With one last squeeze from Bella, I sharted in my trousers. My sphincter failed me. I pushed you to your limits but you did well, my friend.
I hated to cut the welcome home festivities short. "Um, yes… well, I really need a shower. I just feel so dirty from being in jail and all. And I'm completely exhausted."
I ran off to the downstairs bathroom, hoping nobody noticed my accident in all the commotion. When I took care of business, it was probably the greatest relief of my life, after finding out that I didn't kill Chief Swan and Bella being so accepting of my foreskin.
I brushed my teeth and started to undress. I noticed that I smelled like a stale jail cell as I stripped off my clothing and was about to get into the shower. I hoped I hadn't catch lice or scabies. Immediately, I heard Emmett in the shower upstairs. He must have been feeling quite dirty himself having gone so long without bathing. That must have driven him mad with his hygiene issues. I gave him a few minutes to get in his shower before starting my own so as not to make his water run cold. In the mean time I sat on the floor of the bath, pondering my existence and releasing a few tears with both tension and relief. I should have been overjoyed but I think I was still in shock form that past 24 hours.
Once Emmett was finished, I climbed in under the hot water. I washed my hair, enjoying the familiar scent of my special dandruff shampoo and soaped up my body. I vowed to never take a private toilet and hot shower for granted ever again. Just as I was thoroughly washing up my privates, I heard the door opening. Thankfully I folded up my soiled pants in case of visitors.
"Grammy, thank you so much for your help!" I called out.
"It's not Grammy."
Oh dear. "Um… Bella!" I quickly scrubbed and rinsed my bum crack. "Did you need to pee pee?"
"Um… yeah." I heard the tell-tale tinkle. Even her using the toilet is adorable.
"Well, I'll be out in just a minute so you have enough hot water. I'm sure you'd like a hot shower too."
"Um… I was thinking we could save water by showering together."
"Oh!" I ripped open the curtain and peaked at the vision in front of me. My voluptuous angel, all curves and softness. She glowed under the heat lamp on the ceiling. My eyes became laser beams, narrowing in on their targets. Ripe, pink nipples that begged to be sucked. Wide hips and thick thighs waiting for my hands to squeeze them. In an instant, I was so hard I almost passed due to the blood rushing out of my brain and into my loins.
Bella smiled shyly and climbed into the shower.
I looked up and down her body, appreciating all her fine attributes. But I couldn't see her well enough, so I reached over to the toilet where my glasses were sitting and put them on. When I looked up at her face, she was still checking me out. She seemed to like it. I couldn't believe a girl was looking at me with lustful eyes.
I didn't want to be that creepy boyfriend who just pounces on his girl the minute he gets out of prison, but at the same time I wanted to show her how much I appreciated her being my woman and standing by me through my incarceration. So I kissed her with all my passion as I reached over for the shampoo.
"Let me take care of you, Bella." I said as I began to shampoo her hair. She melted into my touch and groaned as I massaged her scalp. Since I didn't have a flannel, I soaped up her whole body with my large bare hands. Certainly, I had seen and fondled bits and pieces of her, but having her here slick and wet under the bright bathroom lights before me was probably the most beautiful sight I had ever seen.
On my knees I kissed her tummy and placed her leg on the side of the shower. I soaped up her ladyfur and moist bits, careful not to get soap in her urethra, of course. She gasped as I lovingly spread the lather up her crack.
"Daniel!" Bella sounded shocked.
"What, sweetie? I'm just helping out down here and back there."
She looked at me with wonder. "It feels nice."
Then I squeezed her biscuits. "I like to be thorough."
"Here, hold onto the side and turn around." I placed her leg onto the side of the tub again. Her backside to me, I could admire it all I wanted as I lathered up her legs. She was very clean by the time I was done. I used the soap as an excuse to touch her but once I rinsed her off, I just grabbed her ample hips and began nibbling and sucking on her bum cheeks.
"Daniel!" She laughed again.
"Shhhhhhh!" I tried to sooth her as I fondled her lady bits.
"Oh Daniel, I'm getting so worked up." She was breathing very heavily.
"I love working you up. Hot damn! You are a gorgeous woman."
I reached around to fondle her clitoris from the front as I worked my body up her luscious frame. My manhood twitched as her bum rubbed against my nipples. I pressed my erection against her thigh and massaged her breasts with my other hand. Bella's moaning indicated that her nips were as sensitive as mine. I couldn't wait to suck on them.
"They're so big! You have magnificent globes."
"Oh God, Daniel!"
"Please, feel free to refer to me by my first name. " I lowered my voice and whispered. "It's Thor." I had always wanted to say that to a woman!
Bella poked her bum out from the wall. "We're going to run out of hot water soon so ram your fingers up my pussy like you did before."
"OK!" I love a woman who barks orders.
I kept one hand massaging her breast as I reached her from behind and worked my fingers vigorously in her tight hole as she massaged her love button. Bella turned her head to the side so I could give her a sloppy wet kiss. I nibbled her neck as she started to moan.
"Ooooh! Aaaah! Oh Thor! Fuuuuck!" She choked out as she shuddered in orgasm. Although she was trying to be quiet, I was sure the whole family could hear. Listen to that, Emmett! Listen to what I'm doing to my girlfriend!
I held Bella for a few moments until her breathing settled down then I rubbed some of grammy's bath oil all over her body. I didn't want her to get dry skin. My penis mysteriously found that soft space where her thighs and bum cheeks met. So I pressed it in further. I could feel the hair on her labia majora deliciously brushing over the top of my penis.
It was such a delicious warm feeling. I wondered if that was what it felt like in her vagina, except for the hair.
I pressed in and out a few more times and groaned.
"Daniel!" Bella giggled then whispered. "Nice girls don't do it like that!"
"Of course they do, silly sausage!" I tried to sound sexy. "And nice boys like me will do anything nice girls tell them to do. Anything."
I pulled her hair over to the side and with one last thrust between the apex of her cheeks and thighs, I kissed and sucked the back of her neck.
"Kiss me?" she asked.
"I just did."
She turned around. "On the lips," she demanded.
Looking forward to the new task at hand, I started to kneel down again but she grabbed my face. "Up here."
Our facial lips smashed and I couldn't contain my passion so I rammed my tongue down her throat. I was so hard I felt like I could cum in three strokes. When Bella stroked my staff with the body oil, that's exactly what I did. My hips bucked and my legs quivered as I watched my semen squirt all over her stomach and drip down into her pubic hair. The sight of it was so arousing. I had a feral desire to spray it in and on other places as well.
As my orgasm subsided, I remembered my manners. "I'm sorry, I should have lasted longer but-"
Bella cut off my words with a kiss.
"Bella, I didn't want to be some animal, fresh out of the slammer, ejaculating on his woman, thus, marking her as his and his alone." I nuzzled her neck. "Though I am rather starved for affection. I've been lonely. So, so lonely…"
"Sweet Daniel, your timing's perfect. Besides, the water's cooling down," she whispered with a smile. "Let's go take a nap?"
I nodded my head. "Wait here." I got out of the shower, wrapped myself up in a towel and handed her a fresh one.
"I'll um… just be in my room." I wanted to give her some privacy.
Just as I was putting on my favorite pajamas, Bella quietly walked in, barely covered by her towel. She looked worried.
"I don't have any clothes. I've been wearing the same thing since yesterday morning. I'll just borrow one of Emmett's t-shirts. She started walking over to his drawers." My heart ached at her familiarity with Emmett's things. I wanted her to go for my clothing as her first instinct.
"N-no. Here." I bent down and grabbed my Carpe Diem shirt. I couldn't have her wearing Emmett's clothes anymore. "Try this on. It's sort of long, like a night gown. It would look lovely on you."
"Um… ok." She seemed unsure for some reason.
When she dropped her towel, I couldn't help but stare again. I was mesmerized with pride at seeing my beautiful girl wear my t-shirt. It was stretched to its limits over Bella's succulent breasts, her nipples already wearing holes through the 80-20 cotton-polyester blend. It fit her perfectly. She belonged in my shirts.
Like a thirsty man in the Sahara desert, I attacked her breasts with my mouth, not caring that there was fabric in the way.
As I reached down to give her a playful pinch, I noticed that my shirt just barely covered her bum.
"Bella, where are your knickers?" I chided.
"I-I didn't have any fresh panties." Bella was nervously looking around the room.
"You could wear mine. I have some clean ones."
"No way! They wouldn't fit over my huge ass."
"Indeed!" I growled. "Uh… just go without. It's um… the European way."
"Oh yes. Totally normal in Europe to go commando." I assured her as I glanced back at her chest.
"Well, I guess it's okay then." Bella bit her lip and blushed.
I was lost, gazing upon the wet spots I left on her, well, my shirt.
"Daniel!" Bella gently slapped my face.
"Where did you go? You were just staring."
To a beautiful place, just over the rainbow…
"What? Um…" I looked over to the bed. "Guess I'm rather knackered. You must be too?"
I watched Bella climb up into my bunk. The view from below was magnificent and I could feel another stirring in my loins. I love being 19! I couldn't resist giving her a little pat on her bum on her way up.
"There you go love. Just making sure you get up there safely." Before I climbed up, I surreptitiously grabbed her dirty panties with my foot and scooted them under the bed so I could savor them later when I was alone.
Naturally, as we situated ourselves in bed with me wrapped around my girl, my shirt rode up leaving her bum deliciously exposed for my curious hands. I could tell she was smiling but also exhausted and ready to fall asleep.
"Thank you, Bella," I whispered into her ear.
"For what?" she yawned.
"Everything." I kissed her behind her ear and grabbed her tight, just snuggling in and absorbing her emotional and physical warmth. I could tell by her slowed breaths that she was asleep.
"Bella?" I whispered again. I hated to wake her.
"Can I be the little spoon?"
We both carefully flipped over.
I gripped my pillow and mumbled. "It was lonely in prison."
"Oh, you poor baby. I've got you now. Everything will be alright," she cooed. I finally fell asleep to the feel of her hands under my pajamas, teasing my skin.
A/N: Oooh the sexytimes are getting steamier! You likey? *cringe* Ever been in jail?
Be sure and check out the spankthemonkey4U contest here at FF. Daniel is going to be a judge. :-D
As always, reviews and feedback are so appreciated!