By: Karen B.
SPOILER WARNING: Season five. Related to the upcoming episode --Sam Interrupted.
Summary: Alternate universe. Episode related: Sam Interrupted. Season five spoiler warning. Spoilers also for Season Four -- In The Beginning. A what if…story. What if Sam didn't know about Mary's deal with Yellow Eyes? Angst Sam. Stand by you, big bro Dean.
Disclaimer: Definitely not the owner.
Rated: Short snip. Mostly Sam angst. Little bit of big bro fluff -- lot a bit crazy. Alternate Universe.
Note: Thank you for reading. Me…being twitchy awaiting the Jan 21st episode. This was just a little somethin', somethin' burning a hole in my damn skull. What if, Dean did not tell Sam about Mary's deal with Yellow Eyes when Cas sent him back to 1973? Shrugs.
The ugly hag of a muse -- purging…thanks for allowing,
Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour. 1 Peter 5:8
Sam wandered through the endless forest. Through the darkest pitch of night. Hands groping from tree to tree to find his way. The only sound, that of his feet smacking against dry earth and the panicked intake of his breath. Moisture dripped down his face as he picked up his pace. Something was here. He could feel it. Almost see it through the mist of night. Just out of his site. Only inches from his touch. He squinted through the veil of blackness.
Why couldn't he see?
"You've chosen not to look, Sam." His answer came, spoken by a voice penetrating the evil darkness.
"Who are you?" Sam froze in his tracks.
"You know who, Sam."
"Lucifer!" Sam spat, recognizing the voice.
"You're blinded by your own preoccupations, my child."
"Shut your mouth, I'm not your child!" Sam glanced all around -- nothing -- only blackness whirling around him.
"You are my greatest joy, Sam."
"Not your anything!" Sam bellowed, once again, inching along from tree to tree -- searching to find his way out of the dark. "Where am I? What do you want, now?"
There was silence, but Sam could still sense Lucifer near. Sensed the Devil considering his answer carefully.
"What I want, Sam? I want to help you. Give you an abundant life. Power and riches. Where you are? The place your destiny was born."
Sam still couldn't see Lucifer, but knew he hovered near.
"I need you to know something, Sam."
"The truth. The reason why you will be obedient to me."
"I'll die first, you know that!" Sam yelled, defiantly.
"Won't happen. I told you, tiger, I'll never lie. See for yourself."
Sam's eyes blurred and cleared, blurred and cleared. Suddenly, a bright, blue light poured forth as if the sky had opened up. A force pressed into his chest, slammed him backward -- pinning him against a tree.
"Gaah." Sam labored to breath, fought to escape.
"Be calm, precious one. I will release you very soon."
Horrified and sick, Sam kept struggling, eyes darting all around. How was he getting out of this dream? There was a bridge. A lake. A black car. Was that the Impala? A young girl appeared near the car. She was sitting in the dirt. Cradling someone in her arms. An older man crouched beside her, whispering something close to her ear.
"Help! Hey, you!" Sam called out. "I need help."
"They can not hear you. No one can. Just watch and understand."
Sam's attention went to the young man, laying limply in the girl's arms.
"Recognize anyone, Sam?"
"What? No!" Sam frowned, attention glued on the younger man's face. He wasn't moving, wasn't breathing.
"Poor, John," Lucifer's disembodied voice whispered.
Sam shuddered. All at once there was a spark of fire racing through his brain. Something warm, protective, strong. "Dad!" Sam yelled, realization hitting him rock hard.
"Yes." Lucifer's voice rang out. "Your father, Sam."
"Is he…is he…he can't be…"
"…Dead. Not for long. Quiet, Sam. Watch and learn."
"Mary. It's a good deal," the older man assured.
"Uhhh," Sam gasped, when the older man's eyes flashed yellow.
"So what do you say?" Yellow Eyes smiled.
Sam's eyes strayed to the blond girl.
He held his breath-- tight. Held the bile at the back of his throat. Held onto his soul as she leaned into the deal -- sealed it with a kiss.
"No. Mom. She…she made a deal?"
Lucifer snickered. "What you humans won't do in the name of love," his tone confident. "This is where it all started, Sam. The demon blood, all of it."
The scene faded. Mary, John, Yellow Eyes -- gone. In their place, Upon the ground, appeared a single, white rose. Silky, soft petals and thorny stem surrounded by droplets of blood.
The blood of evil.
Of deals gone wrong -- heartbreak.
The bloodspots grew. "What is that?" Sam questioned -- confused.
"Young love, pure love. A white rose. Your mother, Sam."
"And the….the blood?" Sam tried not to gag as the blood soaked into the edges of the delicate petals, tainting the white rose.
"Why…the blood of the crucified, of course," Lucifer's voice in Sam's head soft, quiet.
"This is all a lie." Sam tugged and pulled, trying to free himself from the tree he was pinned against.
"It is true. Ask your brother. Ask Dean. He has seen the past. Your mother made a deal. Gave your father the breath of life. Nothing is worth the cost, Sam, nothing -- we all pay the price, anyway. "
His mother's ghostly form appeared before him, looking the exact way she had when Sam had seen her back at their old house in Lawrence.
"Sam. I'm sorry," Mary said, not holding back her tears.
"You did this to me!" Sam glanced between the blood-red rose and Mary. "You made a deal? Sold my soul before I was even born." Sam fought harder to pull away from the tree.
"I am truly sorry, Sam," Lucifer whispered in his ear. "I'll see you soon. You can wake up now."
"...am!" Hands pressing against his chest restrained him. "Sam!"
Sam jolted hard, eyes open wide -- back in the mental hospital. Instantly aware. He thrashed about, fighting Dean's hands. Hands that were restraining him against the bed.
"Dean! She did this to me! Why? Why? Oh, God." Sam fought to break away from the contact.
"Hold still! Sammy, hold still." Dean let up slightly on his grasp "Take it easy, pal," he said, leaning down only inches away from Sam's face. "This place really is a nut house. We've been drugged. Take it easy, you're just coming down off whatever crap they pumped you with," Dean explained.
"M…m…" Sam's lips worked to form the word.
"Sam, what is it?"
"Mom. It was mom."
"Dude, I told you, they gave us some badass drugs." Dean slipped a hand behind Sam's back easing him into a sitting position on the side of the bed. "You were hallucinating." He crouched before Sam. "Seeing things. We both have been. Damn doctor's brains are as soft as the walls in here! They pimped us out, man, sent us to the dark side of the moon, bro."
"No,no,no. Listen. Dean, you have to listen. Lucifer, he was inside my head, my dream. He showed me." Sam grabbed a fist full of Dean's shirt. "Mom. It was always mom. She did this to us…dad was…he was just a kid. She...she…mom she made a…" Sam's words were cut off by a hoarse cry -- his.
"Deal." Dean finished, eyes locked on Sam's
Sam cocked his head -- shocked. "You know about that?"
"When Cas sent me back to the past…to 1973…I…I watched it happen," Dean admitted, sadly. "You saw, too?"
Sam nodded, mouth dropped open, no breath left inside to speak -- body shaking all over.
"Hey." Dean lightly brushed the bangs off Sam's sweaty forehead. "I tried to stop it. Tried to wipe the deal away." Dean shook his head, unshed tears filling his eyes. "I couldn't change a fucking thing," he said stiffly. "She didn't know what Yellow Eyes wanted. All she wanted was out of the life. Hated the job. Didn't know what the deal would cost. Yellow Eyes told her no one would get hurt. She just wanted to save dad. Sam, she loved him, and just wanted to save him. Christ, we both know what that's like."
Sam tensed, staring at Dean, face twisted revealing his every pain -- broken and shattered into bits. "You…you should have told me, Dean."
"I couldn't tell you. I know I should have. Sam, I just -- couldn't."
"She did this to me. Made a deal," Sam sobbed. "Turned me into…into this thing. This monster. This moster that destroyed the world. Damn her," Sam cursed, angrily.
"She was a good person, Sam. Young. She didn't know. Never changed how she felt about you, Sam. I was there. You were just a tiny guy, you don't remember. How she could soothe you to sleep. How she'd coo over your every move." Dean smiled. "Man, she made the best pies. Hot. Fresh." Dean scrunched his face, obviously missing her very much. "Mom was a gentle flower, Sammy, and she loved you -- both of us -- all of us -- with all her heart. "S why she made the deal."
"Fallen rose," Sam muttered.
"What are you saying?"
"One by one…they took everything from us, Dean," Sam said in sick despair.
"They, Sam, are not going to take what's left!" Dean growled between clenched teeth." He gripped Sam by the shoulders, shook him. "You got that, man. Never! No matter how hard they try." Dean pulled Sam up to his feet -- brother-to-brother.
"We're laying our lives down on the line, Sammy. Hell-fire scorching at our backs. Hellhounds stinking breath in our faces. We are going to standup to every black-eyed bitch, and we are going to do it tethered together." Dean winced. "Chances are, bro, we're not going to make it, but we are going to cross that fucking line together. Die bloody… together," Dean said, his tone heavy. "Like soldiers. Like brothers. What do you say, Sam? Want to get this job done, and get the friggin' hell out of the funny farm, man! Find Cruella De Vil and…"
"Who?" Sam glowered.
"Dude!" Dean sighed. "You-know-who. Bibles most wanted bad guy. You with me on this one, Sam?"
Sam looked into Dean's eyes with understanding. His brother meant every word -- above and beyond any percent. The tension in Sam's body left. Somehow, comforted by Dean's declaration of love.
"Always with you," Sam said, putting on a brave face.
Thank you for chancing a read.