Hi, all its me again. :) Some of you may know I recently had an operation, it went well, and Im ok BUT recovery is taking longer then I'd like... so, my mood is not that great. Anyway Sacred Trees (and all my other stories) are in adventure stage, but I feel angsty, real angsty! Have 2 stories in my head this one and one (strangely enough) for Avatar the Last Airbender. Both angst in different ways. My pup gets primacy of course.. hehehe.. not sure if the Avatar story (Sokka & Zuko) will get written or not, whatcha think?.

Anyway WARNING 1) SERIOUS ANGST ALERT, it gets a LOT WORSE before it gets better. WARNING 2) Mpreg my style but this time NOT for the faint hearted.

Read, review, and enjoy... errr... may have to change this tag for this story.

Edited By Me!

Chapter 1 : Submit.. to save him

The DaiYoukai had gone mad.
Out of control as he had never been before, he cut a swath of destruction like no other on the face on this earth. Nothing stopped him. The curse that had been triggered by Naraku did a better job than even Naraku imagined. Now, the spider demon actually regretted his action. Sesshoumaru, out of control, was an elemental force that turned all in front of him to dust. The spider retreated, running to hide and cower in fear of the abomination he had unleashed.

Inuyasha's group found Rin and Jaken on Ah-Un, bloody and battered. The Lord had cast them aside just before the madness had taken him. Once he was in the grip of it, Rin had tried to get her Lord back, only the swift action of the two headed dragon have prevented her from being carved into two by poison tipped claws. The child cried incessantly in fear and confusion. Her Lord was in some place she could not reach and she was scared.

Since then, they had spent three fruitless days battling the DaiYoukai, trying to bring him back to himself. Nothing was working. Out of ideas, they had retreated.

The two groups had been on semi-friendly terms in the last few battles, especially since Sesshoumaru recovered Bakusaiga and truly began to appreciate his father's respect for him. This had been Naraku's gambit to destroy the combined group, and as they sat around the fire thinking of and discarding plans, it seemed that Naraku had succeeded. They had tried everything, and since nothing stopped the ravaging DaiYoukai, it seemed that there was no option except to kill him. Sesshoumaru could not use his sword's powers while in the grip of madness. Inuyasha's hands' tightened around his sword. The best option may be to simply open a doorway to hell, and send the maddened DaiYoukai through. Inuyasha did not want to do this.

The very thought stole the warmth from his bones - he had to send his own brother to hell? The notion was abhorrent, obscene, but what else could he do? What could they do?

"My Lord Inuyasha, I was passing through and spotted Lord Sesshoumaru. I do believe we are in a state of dilemma." Myoga the flea said as he jumped up and began sucking blood from Inuyasha's hand.

Inuyasha absently slapped at the flea and picking it up, glared at it. "Keh! No kidding! We are running out of options here, you worthless flea bag!"

Miroku and Sango explained what they had tried, and the final option they had which they did not speak of in front of Rin. Things were so bad that even Jaken -as much as he was tearfully against the idea -could not totally dismiss the notion that the only way to stop the maddened Lord was to stop him altogether. His Lord Sesshoumaru would definitely hate being so out of control.

Myoga asked suddenly, "Describe to me exactly what Naruku did to Sesshoumaru-sama."

"Well," Jaken said, "Naraku had captured Rin, so of course my Lord went to save her. He had Rin in one of the ancient Inu Youkai strongholds, and my wonderful, brilliant Lord surprised him by coming in from an underground passage rather than from the air. My Lord saved Rin and put her on Ah-Un. He then went after Naraku. My poor beautiful, amazing Lord! As soon as he neared that blasted coward, the whole floor glowed. The whole thing was a trap, Naraku released some gas into the air, and my Lord actually glowed, then his eyes went red, and he.. he.. he..." Jaken could not continue as he began to sob.

"Jaken, this is important: what color did the floor glow and what color did Lord Sesshoumaru glow?" Myoga asked his voice insistent.

"T..th..the floor glowed orange and silver, and my Lord glowed first pure white, then the glow fractured on`to the colors of the rainbow. Then he glowed red when he.. he.." Jaken started bawling again.

"Hmmm... that is familiar. Jaken, shut up, I need to think." Myoga said, and three different items struck the Kappa silencing him.

The flea thought and paced, and then finally caught the old memory. He began to speak in a sing-song knowledgeable voice. "Once long ago, the Shiro Inu Youkai were gaining in power and magic, there was a ritual that unfortunately many young Shiro Inu Youkai went through. There were many Inu Youkai then and the ritual was created to determine the hierarchy of the young in the pack. The ritual was simple: the aura of the Shiro Inu Youkai is white, and the ritual pulled apart the aura, shattering it and turned the Youkai into ravaging shells of their true selves. The young Inu Youkai would go mad, attacking all and anything in their path." The audience was sickly fascinated with the story.

"The older Shiro Inu Youkai then would force the maddened young to submit, and the elders would control the maddened Youkai, bringing them back to themselves. For the young one's their place in the clan was determined by whom they submitted to. The practice, however was discontinued very fast, as it was discovered – but not quickly enough - that the ritual was killing not the weakest of the Shiro Youkai pups but the strongest."

Myoga paused for dramatic effect and was satisfied to see he had the group's total undivided attention.

"Weaker pups, natural Betas, submitted easily to their elders' domination and were saved. The strongest, however, the natural Alphas, could not submit. In their primal states, they would not accept dominance even from their fathers or beloved elders, whom they had already accepted as their Alphas when they were sane. Instead, they got worse, nothing could stop them, and they ended up killing themselves in their madness or being killed by the pack in desperation. The practice only lasted a hundred years, but it was a dark time in Shiro Inu history. It occurred the generation before the time of Inu no Taisho and it definitely contributed to the acute decline in the numbers of Shiro Inu in the world. From what you described, Naraku must have found out about the ritual and used it on Lord Sesshoumaru." Myoga finished, his voice trailing out as he considered the consequences.

"My God! Does that mean he could do the same thing to Inuyasha?" Sango asked worriedly.

"Fear not, one of the benefits of being a Hanyou, my Lord Inuyasha, is that the ritual will have no effect in you," Myoga said and Inuyasha growled at his retainer in reply.

"We know what is wrong with Sesshoumaru, so what do we do? There is only one other Shiro Inu I know of and that is Lord Sesshoumaru's mother. Will we have to make him submit to her?" Jaken asked.

Inuyasha's fist whammed hard on the kappa's head. Jaken turned to glare at the Hanyou who ignored him.

"Jaken, you know Sesshoumaru better then the rest of us. Even if it was to his mother, do you think Lord Sesshoumaru would ever submit to anyone?" Miroku asked in a quiet voice.

No one bothered answering; they all knew the answer.

"So we have to kill him or he will destroy himself. There are no other options, but we NEED Sesshoumaru and we can't win against Naraku on our own. He almost has the whole Shikon jewel." Kagome said, earning a baleful glare from Inuyasha which she ignored.

Myoga hesitated. He was Inuyasha's retainer but ultimately both sons of Inu no Taisho had his loyalty. "In one old tale, there was a way to return a broken aura-ed Shiro Inu Youkai to themselves. In one tale, when one young natural Alpha was thus turned into a ravaging beast, he would submit to none. The pack with a heavy heart were prepared to kill the young Shiro Inu, when one of the clan decided he would rather die than see the one he considered his Alpha to be put down, like a mad dog. The younger Youkai is said to have approached the ravaging demon and submitted to him, willing to die by his Alpha's claws. No one knows what exactly occurred because there were no witnesses, but it is said that the Alpha returned to himself fully." Myoga hesitated and then said, "There is of course no account of what happened to the young Youkai who stopped the ravaging Alpha."

There was a short pause.

"What, is that all?" Jaken was jubilant. "Of course my Lord will not destroy one who submits! I will go at once and submit totally to my Lord." The kappa was almost singing in relief.

"That will not work." Myoga said softly.

"No!"

"What do you mean, you disgusting flea? I am a demon, and if my Lord Sesshoumaru needs a demon to submit to him, I will not waste time." Jaken said.

"You will just waste your life, Jaken. Have you not seen Sesshoumaru tear through demons who are cowering in fear before him, without hesitation? Having a demon submit will have no effect whatsoever on this madness." Myoga said with a conviction that they could not deny.

"No!"

"What are you saying Myoga? You just told us that the submission of a Youkai calmed the maddened Alpha, so we have to try." Miroku said seriously.

"This is a Shiro Inu ritual, monk. Not a demon ritual." Miyoga said.

"No!"

"It is not the submission of Youkai that is required, it is the submission of blood."

"Fuck you Myoga, I said NO!"

"Lord Sesshoumaru requires the submission of a family member to stop him." Myoga finished addressing the others and ignored the Inu Hanyou's orders. In unison, everyone turned to stare at the grim looking Hanyou who was glaring at the flea.

"Don't bother going there, the answer is NO!" Inuyasha said flatly.

"What! How dare you say no to such an honor, you worthless Hanyou! He is your older brother and it is right that you submit." Inuyasha knocked the kappa to unconsciousness in reply, his face grim.

"Inuyasha, you are being selfish! We need Sesshoumaru!" Kagome said, glaring at him. "You cannot be so heartless that you will allow your brother to die because you are too arrogant to put aside your pride and submit a little bit to your brother."

"Kagome, you don't underst-"

"I understand perfectly! We have a chance, a real chance to save Sesshoumaru and then finish this! You saw Naraku getting hurt just now, so if we can save Sesshoumaru, we can go after Naraku immediately and destroy him. Without Sesshoumaru and Bakusaiga, we have no way of stopping that blasted demon from regenerating. I understand all right! YOU DON'T, INUYASHA! YOU ARE NOT SEEING PAST YOUR BLASTED EGO! WE CAN FINISH THIS! DO YOU UNDERSTAND, YOU STUPID HANYOU!" The last was said at the top of Kagome's voice, at her most intimidating.

"Inuyasha," Miroku said in a calming voice. "I know you are an Alpha as well, but Sesshoumaru is your big brother. Surely if you had stayed in a family, you would have submitted to him? I do not like the idea, but it is only this once, after all."

"He looked after Kohaku, I owe him. Inuyasha, please!" Sango added her voice to the group.

Inuyasha took a step back, his eyes confused, hurt even. "Wait a minute, this is not about my ego. You seriously cannot expect me to..."

"Expect you to what? To make a sacrifice to stop Naraku? Sango only sacrificed her whole village, and Miroku risks his life and safety ever time he uses the wind tunnel. Heck, Shippo has sacrificed his whole childhood, and I sacrifice my life in my own world to be here and defeat Naraku. Do you think Sesshoumaru is going to kill you?" Kagome demanded.

"No, he won't but-" Inuyasha tried to get a word in, to explain but.. Kagome cut him off.

"Then there are NO BUTS! You enjoy the battle, Inuyasha, and of all of us, you have actually made the least sacrifices in this endeavor. All we are asking is for you to sacrifice a bit of your goddamned pride so that we can save Sesshoumaru and destroy Naraku! Stop being so stubbornly selfish! This is not a time for excuses!" Kagome spat the words at Inuyasha, determined to get the job done.

Inuyasha looked around, and his human pack was staring at him expectantly. They did not see, and Inuyasha began to realize they did not want to see. His side of the story - it seemed once again did not matter – not when the pure breeds, had made a decision. His throat closed; this was his pack, he was their Alpha, and if they demanded this of him...

"Do you all think that?" Inuyasha asked quietly, his sudden change in demeanor surprising his group members.

They looked at each other and nodded. "Inuyasha, even you must see that we need Lord Sesshou.." Miroku began again, only to stop when Inuyasha raised a hand to silence him. Inuyasha turned to Shippo. The kit was demon, and young as he was, he in a sense understood more than the humans beside him. Golden eyes, strangely flat, met emerald green. The Kitsune ducked away, unable to meet the Inuyasha's eyes, and the little fox demon slid behind Kagome and looked away, almost cowering, unwilling to go against them.

Inuyasha felt the last nail being driven into his proverbial coffin. The pack had spoken.

"Keh! Fine! Whatever, I'll go and fucking finish this with Sesshoumaru." Inuyasha said, putting on his mask of brashness.

"Thank you, thank you, Inuyasha! That is wonderful, it will be alright, you'll see," Kagome said in relief. Beaming in approval, she reached out to hug the Hanyou, and Inuyasha simply stood impassive in the embrace. "Alright, let's go".

"Where are you going?" Inuyasha asked in a flat voice as he stepped back from the Miko.

"With you, of course." Kagome said as the others nodded.

"No. You will all go back to Kaede's village, with Jaken and Rin. And you will wait there for Sesshoumaru and me to come back. This is Shiro Inu business and it is not done in front of an audience, especially a human audience." Inuyasha said, his voice without emotion in it whatsoever. Jaws dropped in shock. Inuyasha ignored them, and waited until they had loaded up and were flying off. The group cast worried looks back at the strangely silent Hanyou, and the looks angered Inuyasha. Hypocrites.

"Now, Lord Inuyasha in order to break the curse you need- ACKKK!" Inuyasha picked up the flea and looked at him, lowering the mask that had hid his feelings from the rest of his group. Myoga choked as he looked into golden eyes and saw a knowledge in them that he had hoped the Hanyou would have been ignorant of.

"Myoga, to save my brother, you have betrayed me." Inuyasha said softly. The flea made an attempt to deny it, but found that he was unable to meet the intense golden gaze that contained within in, lifetimes of pain and betrayal. When Myoga looked away muttering weak excuses, Inuyasha flicked him to the floor.

"You are no longer in my service. My final charge to you is that you will never speak to the humans of Shiro Inu business, and for that service, I will spare your life now. Go, flea, never seek to find me again. I never want to see you – not in this lifetime . After this... What was it the humans said? Sacrifice of a bit of my pride... Huh! If I see you again, I will most surely kill you." Inuyasha said with deadly promise, and without looking in the flea's direction, Inuyasha stalked off towards Sesshoumaru's location.

Myoga stared after the the lone figure of silver and red disappointing into the dark forest with a straight back and proud walk. The flea slowly shrank into a ball of shame. He knew Inuyasha's words were true, that he had betrayed his Lord to save his Master's oldest son. "What have I done!" The flea whispered, for he would never drink Inuyasha's sweet blood again. "What have I done..." the fleas's sobs echoed hollowly in the silent clearing.

Two days later, Sesshoumaru, himself once again, showed up at Kaede's village. The Lord was cold, impassive, and aloof,- much to everyone's relief - his normal self. Lord Sesshoumaru stayed less than a minute in the village, saying only that he would take Rin to his palace and then he would return to tear Naraku apart for his impertinence. He left before the group could ask about Inuyasha. The group immediately flew on Kilala to where they guessed the confrontation took place, only there was no sign of Inuyasha, no clue as to what had occurred.

It was three more days before the Hanyou walked into the village. Any bruise that may have marred his skin had been healed by his demon blood. The group ran up to embrace the Hanyou, but he deliberately jumped back, keeping them away from him. "I am healed! We have no time for this nonsense! We take down Naraku NOW!"

There was a grim determination in the Hanyou's eyes that they had never seen before, a harshness that spoke of unyielding will. They suddenly knew Inuyasha meant it, and the Hanyou would not stop until Naraku was dead. The final battle was finally at hand.

-tbc-

Well what do you think... should I continue?
Review please.