All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer
Chapter 19 - Ever Changing
Edward was especially nervous now as he was preparing to change me. Jake had gotten us permission for the change and Edward seemed to be stalling. We'd made arrangements for the girls to stay out at Jake's for the weekend. Rose and Emmett were going to keep the boys with the help of everyone else. Edward had promised to stay with me through the change.
He laid his head on my chest. I felt him sobbing softly. "I don't think I can do it, Bella. I can't stop your heart."
Right on cue, Masen popped between us and Edward laughed. "I told you this would be a problem."
"I know, but you'll be here to hold him." I kissed his fuzzy red curls.
I heard Rose yelling at Emmett.
"We have him, Rose," Edward called to her laughing.
She hurried up the stairs. "Sorry. Apparently, Emmett was being boring."
"No, it is fine," I said as I kissed his little fuzzy head once more and past him over.
She smiled down at him with such a deep genuine love that I knew he would be okay while I was out. Once she left the room I went back to running my fingers through Edward's hair as he listened to my heart.
"If you love me, you'll do this, you'll change me so I can be with my family, with my children forever, please don't take them from me."
He looked down at me with sad eyes and nodded okay.
Carlisle slipped into the room. "Are we ready?"
I nodded yes.
"We're going to start with morphine. It'll probably put you to sleep, and it'll make what Edward has to do a little easier on the both of you."
I felt the morphine spread throughout my body, numbing every part of me. It was then I realized I would probably forget all of my glimpses of the future.
Edward smiled down at me and kissed me softly. "Are you sure about this?"
"Yes." It came out in a whisper.
He kissed down my lips to my neck. "I'm going to bite you, Love, so you can be with me forever."
I felt his cool lips and then he licked my skin, sending shivers through my body.
"Really, Edward, four kids is enough."
He couldn't help but chuckle. He took my face in his hands and kissed me again. "I love you."
"I love you, too."
It was too hard to open my eyes to see his beautiful face again but I knew he would be there when I woke up. I felt his cool teeth on my neck as he whispered sweet words of love to me. I felt the sting of his teeth and the burn of the venom. I felt him pull the blood from my body, and then he stopped, licking again, closing the wound. I felt him moved down to my wrist and my ankles as well. I felt him push more venom into my arties in my arms and legs. The burn was spreading fast but the morphine held me silent. I felt his cool hands run up my stomach. He rested his head there for a moment listening to my body fight.
"I can't, I can't do it, Carlisle."
"It's okay, Son. It's okay."
I felt Edward kissing just below my breast, right over my heart. His hands stayed on my sides. I felt a third hand. It must have been Carlisle. Then there was a sharp piercing pain through my chest and I felt like it exploded in fire. It was spreading fast, pushing outward to meet up with the rest of the venom. I wanted to scream out in pain but I couldn't move. I was being held captive by the morphine as the venom worked like fiery barbwire through my system, shredding and burning my humanity away. It seemed like an eternity, the morphine held me silent in my burning prison. I could feel Edward's cool body lean against my side. His lips were on my cheek and in my hair. I listened as he spoke. I fought to comprehend the words he was saying.
I heard him hum my lullaby and talk about starting Elizabeth on the piano in a few years. I heard him talk of the Alaskan tundra and the food we would hunt there. I felt the pressure of a hot little body on my chest and the cry of a baby. I heard Edward chuckle and say something about Masen. I wished I could focus enough to understand his words but it was hurting so much and it seemed to be moving faster. I heard Rose's panicked voice and then her relief. The little hot body was gone again. Edward's voice was a constant hum through the pain. I tried to focus on him and hear him but it was hard to process anything other than wanting to scream. I wanted to but I was held still by the morphine.
The little hot body appeared twice more. I heard the chair rock in the corner as Edward calmed the fussy Masen. I wondered how much longer I had; I wanted to get back to my family. I wanted to hold my babies, hug my kids. I wanted to kiss my sweet Edward. My heart started to beat faster in my panic. At least that was what I thought it was. I heard Edward call for Carlisle and Rose. I felt warm hands on my face and hands. It didn't make sense, who was touching me? Who was here besides Carlisle and Edward? I missed their icy touches that calmed the flame that burned under my skin. The fire was sizzling out, coming to a head in my chest. The sound of my frantic heart beating loud echoing through my body and I could barely hear Carlisle speak.
"No, she's fine, Edward, she's fine. She'll be waking up soon."
I finally felt some relief. It would be soon; the pain would end soon and there was finally a light at the end of the tunnel. My heart stopped suddenly. I still couldn't move and then it beat twice more, slow and empty. The fire was just a little pin prick in my chest now. Yes, it was almost gone. Then with one finally thump it was done. I lay silent, relieved. I listened to Edward's panicked voice. I felt warm hands touching my skin and face. That was wrong, who had the warm hands? I didn't want them to touch me.
Then I felt something warm press against my stomach and heard Edward's sobs. What was wrong, why was my love upset and who was this person on my stomach? It didn't feel hot enough to be Masen. I fought to open my eyes, and they finally decided to give. My body felt so still, so stiff. It felt hard; not to move, but like bending rock against rock for the first time. I thought if I moved, my joints would all groan with the effort.
I looked down and took in the sight. I needed to make sure it was not Masen on me before I moved; I didn't want to hurt my baby. My eyes saw that perfect bronze hair slumped on my stomach. My hands itched to run through it. It shined with more intense color now through my new eyes and I wanted to see if it still felt as good. My hands twined up in my angel's hair and his head popped up, his glistening eyes finding mine.
"Bella, oh, my Bella," he kissed my face all over franticly and smiled.
His scent when I was human was good, but now it was glorious. I inhaled deeply, filling my lungs with the perfect aroma that was Edward. I pulled his face to mine and kissed him deeply, pulling him over on top of me. I started to deepen the kiss but then I heard someone clear their throat. Who was here? I sniffed and they smelled familiar. I glanced around and my eyes found Carlisle watching us with a wide grin.
"Welcome back, Bella."
I searing hot little body suddenly popped between Edward and me. It didn't burn like the venom but it would take some getting used to, like holding a cup of hot coffee. Masen's scent wafted over me. Edward moved fast with Masen away from me. He stood in the door with him, looking at me worriedly as I took in my baby's scent. I heard him call for Rose. He looked at me warily. Rose quickly took my baby away and I pouted. Edward approached slowly watching at me carefully.
"Does your throat hurt, Love?"
I stopped to think about it and now I realized it did. I grabbed my neck and looked at him a bit panicked. The flaming venom was still burning in my throat, why had it not stopped there?
"It's okay, Love, you're just hungry. We're going to take you to get something to eat."
I could hear Rose talking to Masen; he was fussing. My heart broke I needed to take care of my baby. "Masen," my smooth voice tinkled, alien and new sounding to my ears; I wanted my baby.
Edward gave me a sad look. "He's not food."
I scowled at him. "I know that, he's fussing," I snapped at him.
Did he really think I would hurt my own baby?
"He's okay for now, Love, we need to get you some food and then we'll come back to the kids, okay?"
I looked longingly at the door. I heard the window open. I turned to see what was going on.
"This way, Love."
I listened to the little thumping of heartbeats. I heard the second one and heard a giggle. "Anthony," I said smiling.
Edward smiled; he must have heard the laugh, too. "Yes, he's playing with Emmett, and as you can hear, he's fine. Please, Love?"
He held out his hand to me. I was instantly at his side as soon as I thought it. I looked back at the bed I had just been laying on and then back at Edward and he smiled that sweet beautiful smile and I wanted to kiss him again. So I did.
Adjusting to being a newborn was difficult but everyone reassured me I was doing remarkably well. The theory was that since I had made the choice and was aware of what I would become at the time of the change, plus my adamant remembrance that humans were people and not food all helped me adjust quicker than I might have otherwise. The first year was difficult but by the end of it I was comfortably interacting with Charlie again. I enjoyed cuddling with my babies again and loved that I never felt tired. I could just hold them forever as they slept in my arms taking their naps and I would not tire or ache for relief.
Everything was finally as it should be. Everything was right with the world, at least my world, as far as I could remember. I had Edward and my children. I had my extended family. And best of all, I had me. I was sane, happy and immortally alive. After all I had been through and seen, both pasts, present, and futures, it was about time my life took a turn for the better.
And it certainly had.
A/N: So, they have their happily ever after, sort of. Bella can't remember something important that is buried in the back of her mind that was bad. If you guessed that it was in the future where Bella was hurt very badly, (remember Disneyworld in Chapter 8?) you guessed right. Of course I have not written the sequel yet and I won't post it until I have. Thanks for reading!