A/N: For two reasons: because Aly asked for things that would balance out RT's angst, and because I've lost my mind.
Inspiration comes from the season1 Episode "The Good Samaraton" starring Sheriff Charlie. Remember her? She was determined to get Gibbs. This time 'round, Jenny's on the team, not Kate. Set back in her Probie Days.
Special Agent Jennifer Shepard rolled her eyes and resisted the immature urge to stamp her foot in annoyance.
Stan and Ducky might find this amusing but she was just inexplicably irritated. She was gaining a whole new understanding of why Gibbs hated working with local LEOs so much. The current LEO in question was a woman from Rock Creek Park Police who had decided she was bound and determined to earn herself a date with Gibbs.
"No," Jenny said slowly, glaring at the other woman. "Agent Gibbs is not married."
The woman smiled, but before she could speak again, Jenny interrupted.
"When you found Sergeant Clemens, was there anything with him? The terrain indicates something has been dragged away," she said, glancing over the woman's shoulder to where Gibbs was harassing Ducky for information about the body.
The woman turned to look as well.
"Not a thing was around," she answered brightly. "I didn't think they made Feds like that," she noted, raising her eyebrows as she turned back to Jenny. "What's his story?"
"Excuse me?" Jenny asked tightly, narrowing her eyes.
This really shouldn't be pissing her off so much. If the Park Policewoman wanted to flirt with Gibbs, it shouldn't matter to Jenny at all.
Too bad it did.
"Is he single, then, available?"
"NCIS is going to be handling this investigation, so we'll need all of your preliminary repo—"
"Ah, ah, Ma'am," the woman interrupted nicely, "We'll be sharing the investigation, its already been ordered. And you—"
"I'm sorry; did you just call me 'ma'am'? Really? Do I look older than you? What is that?" Jenny asked, losing it just a little bit. She glared. The woman held up her hands.
"Forgive me," she said, "I was being polite."
Jenny just glared at her.
"You didn't answer my question, Miss Shepard," the policewoman informed her.
"No, I didn't," Jenny answered sternly.
They looked at each other.
"Well then, I'll just assume he's available. You know what kind of perfume he prefers?"
Jenny grit her teeth, seriously about to smack the woman across her cute little face. She firmly told herself she was just annoyed because Park Police was trying to muscle in on her investigation.
She adamantly ignored the niggling fact that she had already decided, after his divorce with Diane had been finalized, that Jethro was hers. Her territory. Mine.
"White Diamonds," Jenny answered, with a bit of a wicked smirk as she named Diane's signature perfume.
"Interesting," the woman said. Jenny glared at her again. Gibbs had started to walk over. "I'll have to see if I can—"
"He's not single," Jenny informed her suddenly.
"Oh?" the woman paused, frowned a little. "Ah. You think he's very attached to this lady of his? Meaning, how easy would it be to sway him?"
Jenny looked at the woman. She was relentless. She swallowed, trying to quell her desire to say something completely inappropriate to stake her claim.
"Considering you're not his type, no," Jenny informed her coldly.
"What is his type, Miss Shepard?"
"It's Agent Shepard!" barked Jenny, and she saw Gibbs give her a surprised look as he approached. "Do you have a professional bone in your body, ma'am?" Jenny questioned sarcastically, snapping her notepad shut. "Why don't you just back off?"
"There isn't a need for hostility," she answered a little coolly. "What is your concern with Agent Gibbs' personal life? What reason do you have to care?"
Jenny glared at her. She failed miserably at her promise to herself that she wouldn't say anything stupid, because she didn't exactly try to stop the next words out of her mouth.
"Because I'm having sex with him!"
Park Policewoman blinked at her in surprise.
Damn, Jenny thought.
"You got anything, Shepard?" Jethro's gruff, demanding voice asked as he stepped up next to the policewomen, glaring at her.
The woman looked between them slowly.
"Oh, Hi, Gibbs," she said breezily staring at him.
She heard a cackle of laughter to her left and, to her infinite dismay; realized Stan had overheard what she'd said. Gibbs was glaring at her. Stan was laughing at her. She swore under her breath, wincing a little.
Her only comfort was the woman from Park Police backing down.
"Hey, Probie," Stan greeted her mysteriously as she walked into the bullpen carrying results from the lap. She gave him a suspicious look. "Where have you been?"
"Lab," she answered, still suspicious at the nice greeting.
He immediately looked mock confused.
"No kidding?" he asked. "I figured you were off having secret, steamy sex with Gibbs somewhere."
Jenny dropped the results on her desk and leapt across the bullpen to attack Stan, shoving his chair back into his filing cabinet violently and glaring at him evilly.
"You did not hear that, Burley."
"Uh, yeah, I did. Is it true?"
"Then whyyyyy," he drawled, "Did you say it?"
Jenny hit him in the back of the head. He whimpered.
"To get that bitch off of our backs!"
Stan just laughed and shook his head slowly.
"Nah, don't believe you," he said, "you're either having sex with him, or you desperately, desperately want to, and I think he should be informed about—"
"Who's having sex with whom?" Gibbs asked, storming into the bullpen as per usual out of nowhere.
"Let him go, Jen," he said absently, without even looking.
Jenny jammed Stan back into the cabinet again as he started to laugh.
"Apparently, Boss, Shepard's having sex with—"
"NO ONE," Jenny shouted over Stan, "NO ONE IS HAVING SEX WITH ANYONE!"
The floor fell silent, and Jenny winced, looking around. She cursed under her breath again, noticing she was being stared at. She looked over at Gibbs and smiled innocently.
"Speak for yourself, Jen," he said, smirking. "Come on, we're going to interview Clemens' wife."
Jenny groaned and dragged her feet over to her desk, glaring at anyone who still dared look at her funny. She noticed Chris Pacci giving her an amused look and narrowed her eyes, causing him to look away laughing.
"You coming, Jenny?"
Stan Burley burst into laughter.
"She wishes," he said, and Gibbs gave him a funny look. Jenny turned pale at the insinuation, and threw her stapler at him. She stormed past him and Gibbs gave them both an annoyed look as he stepped into the elevator with her.
He glared at her. She stared straight at the elevator doors.
"Park Police handed over the investigation," he informed her slowly. "You know anything about that?"
"They did? What? No," she answered swiftly. She bit her lip and continued to attempt to bore a hole in the elevator with her glaring.
"Funny. That lead detective seemed pretty keen on keeping the case."
Jenny smirked darkly.
"You would have hated her," she said, scoffing. "She wore White Diamonds."
"Shepard and Gibbs are having sex."
Stan Burley had said this sentence at least twenty times by the time he informed the Director's secretary. He had received many different reactions before he'd told the whole story, and it was becoming a bit of a running joke in the agency.
He was finding it highly amusing to see Jenny's face as she heard the comments. And he was hiding from her constantly. She kept trying to hurt his favorite appendage.
The secretary looked bored.
"Hutchins in legal already told me."
"Damn. You secretaries know everything," Stan sighed, looking towards the Director's door.
"Yeah, he already knows too," she said, giving Stan a wicked smile, "He called dibs on telling Agent Gibbs."
Stan cackled, throwing himself onto the secretary's couch. Shepard was so much fun.
Jenny looked up slowly from her paperwork when a shadow fell over it in the shape of Leroy Jethro Gibbs. She narrowed her eyes at him.
"Hi," he greeted her.
She gave him a very suspicious look and glanced across the bullpen. It was empty. Everyone had finally stopped harassing her and gone home, leaving her in peace to pretend to do paperwork while she plotted Stan's untimely demise.
Gibbs, though, had apparently stayed and appeared out of nowhere. It shouldn't surprise her, it was fairly common with him.
"Hello," she greeted.
He looked at her intently. She looked back, biting the inside of her lip. He was making her very, very nervous.
"Staring is rude," she informed him darkly.
"You want to get coffee," he said slowly, "Shepard?"
She stared at him. She really was suspicious now. He looked like he was up to something, with his sparkly blue eyes and mysterious invitations. She narrowed her eyes.
"Why?" she demanded.
"I thought it'd be a good idea to take you out," he informed her. She lifted her eyebrows in a bit of shock, and he smirked as he went on, "Since we've been having so much sex lately."
Jenny winced and closed her eyes, hanging her head. She should have known she would never, ever get away with that staying in Stan's confidence. She opened one eye and he was looking at her wickedly, an arrogant smirk on his face.
"Dammit," she cursed.
She threw her pen down and stood up, planting her palms on her desk.
"You told the detective we were having sex."
"Yeah, but you don't—"
"Why did you tell her that?" he asked, interrupting, his blue eyes on her.
"Because she was trying to muscle in on the investigation!"
"No?" Jenny repeated incredulously.
"Don't believe it," he said.
She crossed her arms. And glared at him. He tilted his head and looked back, his eyebrow going up.
"It wasn't because I want to have sex with you!" she informed him
"I didn't say it was."
"Well, it wasn't!" Jenny almost yelled. "She was…she was hunting you!"
"Hunting me?" he snorted, looking incredulous himself. "What?"
"She was after you, Gibbs!" she said, rolling her eyes.
"So…you told her we were having sex."
"But we're not."
"Yeah, I noticed."
Gibbs looked at her intently again. Jenny glared back defensively. This was so ridiculous. She never should have said it. Ever.
"Why?" he asked.
"Why aren't we having sex?" she asked, confused.
"Why did you tell her we were?"
"She wasn't your type!"
"How do you know, Jen?" he asked seriously.
"SHE WAS BLONDE!"
Jethro laughed. He stared at her. She glared viciously. She did not like being laughed at and she definitely did not like this situation. Shrugging, Jethro turned and strode away, taking his coat from his chair.
Jenny stared after him, and then went after him, her brow furrowing. She slapped her hand over the elevator doors and held them open.
"Where are you going?!"
"Coffee," he reminded her with a shrug.
She looked at him. He smiled and pointed to the empty space next to him. She grumbled and stalked into the elevator. He pushed the button for the garage and they stood silently.
"The whole office thinks we're sleeping together, Jen," he informed her seriously.
"We should probably have sex so they aren't so misinformed."
They fell silent again. Jenny looked at him. He looked back at her and she flushed, looking away, anywhere but back at him. She saw him smirk out of the corner of her eyes.
"Do you want me to have sex with you?" he ventured, and she reached over and smacked him hard in the chest, glaring.
"I am not an object, Jethro, if we were going to have sex I'd be an active, willing participant."
She flinched again. She'd just used the word 'willing'. She bit her lip and narrowed her eyes at him. He lifted his eyebrows. She decided she liked it better when he had a wife. Then he'd been miserable and rude all the time.
Now he blatantly flirted, and he was so charmingly good at it.
They both turned to stare at the elevator doors again, Jethro with a lopsided smirk and Jenny with a nervous glare. She swallowed. He tilted his head at the door with mild interest.
The doors slid open with a soft ping in the garage and she started out. He moved through the doors at the same time and turned to her, right up in her face. She caught her breath at the proximity, tilting her head up
"Got a question," he said, looking down at her seriously.
"Yeah?" she breathed sarcastically, "What's that?"
He smirked wickedly and his eyes twinkled.
"Was it good for you?"
I brought out the DiNozzo in Gibbs.