Please note that the following series is what you mortals call, "non-canon." Much like that abominable "Teach me, Ms. Litchi!" miniseries, this series has no bearing whatsoever on the actual Blaz Blue continuity. With that said, let us get started.


I require no introduction. If you're reading this, then you already know who I am, who my servants are, and what my role in the grand scheme of things is. Surely, you must be curious as to how I'm speaking to you right now. As much as I am loathe to admit, I do become bored very easily. To alleviate my most recent bout of boredom, I sent Nago out to obtain something from the outside world to keep my mind occupied. He found a device he called, "An internet enabled laptop PC with Windows 7!" Upon hearing the phrase, "Windows 7," I promptly chastised Nago for retrieving a woefully antiquated piece of technology. (He had to spend an entire hour standing on his head. Without falling down. It was truly an entertaining sight.) However, I came to realize that I could communicate to the outside world using this computer. The only catch was, since it was operating on technology from the early 21st century, chances are only people from that era will be able to read whatever I send into the World Wide Web.

Of course, I would never sully my hands by interacting with such an infernal contraption. All of my words are dictated onto my servants to type up. Valkenhayn is surprisingly efficient with this computer, however, his method of typing is nowhere near as amusing as Gii's. Since Gii lacks hands, he has to perform every keystroke by poking his nose onto which key he must type next. I must confess, the first time I saw him typing like this, I broke out into an unladylike fit of hysterical laughter. Normally, I would pity myself for getting so emotional over anything, but then again, laughter is said to be the best medicine, and I did ask to be rid of my boredom, emotional outburst or not.

Now then, I could indulge you with anecdotes of my life here on this webspace. However, I came to realize that mortals, like vampires, tend to get bored rather easily, and considering how many stretches of boredom I've had throughout my life, I decided, maybe it would be best if I didn't spend an entire entry telling you about myself. Instead, I want you, dear reader, to ask me a question, and I shall endeavor to answer it to the best of my ability.

But before I go on, please keep in mind that even if you send me a question, I can choose not to reply to it. If you want to increase the likelihood of me acknowledging your existence, as well as replying to your questions, then maintain good spelling and grammar, and ask something thought provoking. And be sure to begin your message with, "Dear Rachel," or something along those lines.

And do be aware that my writings will contain so-called, "Spoilers" for Blaz Blue. Speaking as someone who is an audience member to the theatrical performance that is life, I know all too well how much a spoiler can ruin my pleasure in the performance. If you wish to remain in the dark concerning the Blaz Blue continuity, please refrain from reading this any further.

I suppose this is an adequate enough introductory post. I shall retire to my bedroom for the time being, unwinding with some black tea, and maybe some of the writings of Dostoyevsky. When I receive my first question, I shall return posthaste.

[Author's Note: Welcome to the introduction of Ask Rachel Alucard! This is just something I made up for the fun of it. However, you the readers get to participate! (Assuming you have a account) Just drop me a PM, and ask something that you would ask Rachel about. It can be about anything, just make sure the question is legible and can potentially provide an interesting answer.

Oh, also, you should already know this, but since this may be my only Author's Note in this entire series, I should tell you now: Rachel's opinions do not represent my own. She is a fictional character, not me in disguise. I mean, I love "Teach Me, Ms. Litchi!" for example.]