Warning: This fan-fiction was made for a mature audience. At this point, this story is officially at M rating.
Author's Note: 5 months of inactivity! I'm so sorry for letting you all down! Please forgive me? *begs for mercy*
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto... Kyuubi does... o.o
Kyuubi: I've been waiting...
Redfoxyboi: Ya I know. That's what you did last chapter.
Kyuubi: No, I've been waiting for you to come back.
Redfoxyboi: Me? Are you sure you aren't looking for Naruto?
Kyuubi: I'll deal with him next.
Redfoxyboi: Um Kyu? What are you doing?
Kyuubi: ATTACK! *CHOMP*
Redfocyboi: AAAAAAH! STOP BITING ME!
Naruto stood in front of the door to his apartment. He was afraid. The blond could only imagine how mad a certain fox could be. (Hey, if you could hear the words that came out of that furball's mouth, you would be afraid too. Kyuubi has a mouth like a sailor… filthy and highly colorful.) Naruto took a deep breath and grabbed the doorknob. The boy shivered as he paused there. Do I have to go in? Naruto thought. He stood with his hand grasping the handle with his other hand holding the key. He slowly unlocked the door until he heard a faint click.
The boy froze again. His mind raced as he wondered if the fox could hear it. Holding his breath, he turned the handle as silently as possible. He then pushed the door open wide enough just to let his slim body squeeze through. Once he was in the small apartment, and the door was closed as quietly as possible by using his tail to muffle the sound, the foxboy tiptoed inside. His eyes searching for any hints of red fur.
Naruto looked around the apartment in all the usual places. Under the bed, in the cupboard, on the windowsill, and the several other hiding spots the fox was known to use. The blond was relieved to know that Kyu wasn't home. He sighed and walked back towards his bed.
'Looking for something?' yipped a voice behind him.
Naruto jumped. He spun around to see the red fox sitting contently on the bookshelf. "O-oh hi kyu!… I uh… um I was…" He stuttered. "I didn't see you there."
'Sit down.' The fox ordered. The fox knew Naruto wouldn't even think to look at the bookshelf because he seldom reads. Naruto was smart, but not an avid reader.
Naruto quickly sat on the side of the bed. "Kyu? You look… uh, good!" The fox's fur had terrible bed-head which was rare. Kyu always always always groomed himself. Naruto could tell he was in deep trouble.
'Nobody likes a kiss-ass.' He glared down at the blond. 'I didn't sleep… I've been sitting here waiting…"
Naruto gulped. "Bad dream?" The blond could only hope this was true but he knew he was screwed.
'I was thinking.'
Naruto was too afraid to say anything. He didn't want to release the fox's fury.
'I was wondering where my master could have been last night.' Kyuubi began, 'At first I thought that my master was just sleeping over a friend's house… but now I don't think so.' He paused. 'I'm getting the feeling that my master was mating.' Kyuubi growled a bit. He was a small fox but he had a temper of a swarm of angry Twilight fans who just found out that Taylor Lautner won't be playing Jacob in the next Twilight movie. (…Oh what I'd do to his body… mmmmm…)
(Author's Note: False alarm! This is not true! All Team Jacob fans, please put the knives down ._.")
Kyuubi was possessive. Actually, he was overly possessive. He wouldn't even let the ramen delivery man near the apartment. Speaking of which…
"So what are we having to eat?" asked the pink-haired kitty. She was wearing a skirt with flowers on it that matched the color of her shoes. Black. Her short hair had a small headband in it and she wore a t-shirt that said "No parking in rear."
"Don't you think it's obvious?" scoffed the black/raven-haired leopard-boy. He was wearing black too. What a surprise… -.-" He had a few wristbands for accessories and he was also wearing a t-shirt. His had a picture of a man mowing his lawn saying "I wish my lawn was emo… then it would cut itself."
"Its ok Sakura. Everyone has their blond moments." said Hinata patting Sakura on the head. She, of course, was wearing Gucci shoes, Chanel sunglasses, and designer clothes. (In case you are a girl reading this… of course I know what Gucci and Chanel are! There! I proved you all wrong that guys can be fashionable. So kiss my Oscar de la Renta dressed ass! xD )
"WHO ARE YOU CALLING BLOND?" yelled Ino giving a hairflip at Hinata and sending her a "bitch please" look.
"She wasn't talking to you Ino-pig!" yelled Sakura.
"Shut up billboard brow!" she yelled back getting in Sakura's face.
"No you shut up blooooooooondie!" Sakura said getting back in Ino's face.
The two stared each other down. You could almost see sparks shooting from their eyes. The girls' were about to kill each other until both of them grabbed each other by the head and forcefully shoved their mouths on the other's lips. Sakura's hand roamed around Ino's back to undo her bra as the blond tried to unbutton the pink kitty's shirt. It was just typical of those two…
"The ramen is going to be here so- WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?" screamed Naruto as he walked in the room.
The girls stopped and looked over to the boy. Their hands still grabbing each other.
"MY EYES! I'M BLIND!" he yelled as got in the fetal position.
"Oh you'll survive." said Ino nonchalantly fixing her hair. "Sakura's Va-Jay-Jay wasn't even out yet."
Naruto shook his head to clear the horrifying thoughts that made him feel like puking. "What I was trying to say…" he began trying to breath slowly, "was that the ramen is going to be here soon."
"They deliver ramen?" Hinata said surprised.
"Yes… there is a ramen delivery service. What? You thought pizza was the only privileged food to be escorted? Of course not!" Huffed the blond defending his loyalty to 'the food of the gods.' Once Naruto sat down there was a knocking at the door. "That must be it!" Naruto exclaimed jumping from the couch. He reached the door and opened it. But once the door opened a crack, a red puff of fur flew across the room and outside. Following this spectacle was the yelling of a man from the other side of the door…
(Author's Note: The following section of the story has been removed due to intense language, violent conduct of one certain fox, and the graphic outcome of one unfortunate delivery boy's rear… we apologize once again.)
Naruto cleared his throat while waving his hands around nervously. "N-n-no Kyu! It wasn't like that! I didn't-"
'Don't you Kyu me!' The fox snapped. 'You came in here smelling of dog, sweat, and musk!'
"But it er… it-"
'And your hair is messy, your pants are backwards, and you are wearing an XL shirt that doesn't even fit you!' The fox growled.
Naruto looked down at himself. "Oops." He said blushing and taking off his pants.
'What the fuck are those?" cried Kyuubi.
"Oh shit." Naruto must have grabbed the wrong boxers when he was running around. These were Kiba's. The boxers he had threatened to fall off his hips as he stood there. Naruto looked around the room in silence trying to avoid the Kyuubi's glare.
'So what's his name?' The fox demanded.
"Who?" Naruto replied hoping he would drop it.
'You know who.'
'Don't play dumb.'
"I have no idea what you are talking about."
'The name of the guy who fucked you last night! That's who!'
"Oooooooooh… that guy…" Naruto said sheepishly. "I… um…"
"Why do you want to know his name?" Naruto said grabbing a pillow to defend himself incase the fox attacked him… and just in case the boxers fell off.
'Naruto, give me the fucker's name so I can rip his balls off and shove them down his throat!'
"Is that completely necessary? I mean I think that's going a teensy bit too far…"
'It's either him or you.'
"Did you know you have an anger problem?"
Kyuubi barred his teeth at Naruto.
Naruto cringed. "H-his name…?"
"It-it's… um… Jamal." Jamal? Naruto thought. Of all the names out there, I chose this? I'm so screwed! "Yeah! It's Jamal! He's the fucke- er I mean guy."
Kyuubi jumped off the shelf, onto the dresser, and then onto the bed in a flash. As he reached Naruto, the fox opened its mouth and bit Naruto's hand hard.
"OW OW OW! PLEASE! OOW!" Naruto screamed waving his hand around with the fox still attached. The red fox's body was flailing around as Naruto panicked. "AAAH! OK! OK! I'LL TELL YOU! I'LL TELL YOU!"
Kyu let go of the blond's hand dizzily. It took a moment to let the poor fox get his bearings again.
"What the fuck is with you!" Naruto yelled rolling on the ground clutching his hand. "YOU ATE MY HAND!"
'It's just a bite mark. Get over it.'
Just when Kyuubi finally recovered from his confusion, the door to Naruto's apartment opened.
"Naruto! I hope you aren't naked cause I'm coming in…" said the short black haired lynx-boy walking into the room. "Scratch that, I hope you are!"
No no no no! This can't get any worse! Naruto thought as he came into the room.
"Well hello to you too." said Sai when Naruto didn't greet him. Sai outdid himself again… He was wearing designer jeans. But remember… this is Sai so instead of having cut marks at the knees like most stylish jeans, Sai had a few marks around his crotch. He wore a brilliantly bright red belt and a black shirt that had a picture of a rooster asking "Have you seen my cock?"
'I'm not done with you.' Kyu said glaring down at Naruto from the bed.
"H-hi Sai." Naruto said embarrassed.
"So why are you on the ground?" Sai asked quizzically. "Did you and Mister Sunny-Bunny Buns have a fight?" Mister Sunny-Bunny Buns was one of the many humiliating nicknames Sai has given Kyuubi.
'One day I will kill you.' Kyuubi growled but Sai couldn't understand him because he wasn't part fox.
"No. Us? Fighting? Of course not!" Naruto laughed awkwardly trying to avoid a future attack from the psycho killer fox.
"Are you sure? I'm detecting high frequencies of bitchy-ness coming from Miss Sissy Missy."
'I'll claw your face off!'
"Aww look! He likes that name!" Sai squealed completely missing the point. Naruto grabbed Kyu before he had the chance to leap off the bed to slaughter Sai.
'Let me at him! Master! Let me at him! I'll claw out his eyes!'
"Isn't he adorable?"
'Adorable? ADORABLE? I'll show you adorable!'
Naruto quickly ran to the bathroom, placed Kyu inside, and closed the door behind him.
"You don't need to put him in there every time I come over." Sai said disappointed. Yes… this happens every time Sai visits Kyuubi.
"Believe me… It's for your protection."
'LET ME OUT OF THIS GODDAMN ROOM YOU MOTHERFUC-"
Well I guess you guys are pretty upset with me for not updating in months now. I am really sorry about this. I was busy the first month or so and then I eventually forgot all about my writing. This chapter was already pre-written 4 months ago but I never remembered to upload it. I admit, it was a pretty stupid thing to do. I hope that some of my followers stuck around and would be able to read this chapter. I feel like I have been unfair to you all by making you wait. I was selfish and I left you guys empty promises. For all of that, I am really really sorry.
For everyone who sent me emails and comments, thank you for waking me up. You are the best fans anyone could have and you all never gave up on me. I also want to thank the few people (who I won't mention because the conversations we had were private) for helping me get through some of the tough times I had in my real life. You inspire me, and you are truly kindhearted. I love you so much.
So here is an update for my 5 months of disappearance: I am almost finally done with High School. It is a wonderful glorious feeling. I have been accepted to all 5 of my college choices and I already narrowed it down to 2. Recently, I have been learning Japanese because I have been accepted to study abroad in Japan. However, the earthquake, tsunami, power plant explosions, and volcanic activity have made me nervous to go. If I had applied earlier, I would have been there now. I have heard that United States citizens cannot leave Japan until they have been scanned and tested for radioactivity from the nuclear power plant meltdowns. They also have no cellphone reception, and food rations have already began. This whole situation is upsetting and I can't find the right words to describe it. I received an email from my colleges that my application to study abroad in my sophomore year of college has been delayed until my junior year. I wish I could help out but I'll have to wait until they get back on their feet again. So for now, I continue to teach myself the language. I memorized the Katakana and Hiragana syllabuses (its kinda like their alphabet system equivalent). Eventually, I'll work on Kanji and my grammar. (I've always hated grammar... even in English.)
Anyway, I'll work on the next chapter now and I'll get it up sometime soon. I promise! So please comment, review, and fav! I love to hear from you! Love you all!
Redfoxyboi: WTF WAS THAT!
Kyuubi: What was what?
Redfoxyboi: You attacked me!
Kyuubi: And you deserved it for slacking off on this fanfic.
Redfocyboi: But who in their right mind yells, "ATTACK!" before they attack?
Kyuubi: Hmm... good point.
Redfoxyboi: See? I'm not stu-
Redfoxyboi: WAIT WAAHH!