A/N: So now I'm kind of embarrassed because this is the second fic in a week that I'm updating even though I thought it was done, done, done. But I couldn't help myself.

This was totally inspired by Reel Big Fish's song 'I want your girlfriend to be my girlfriend' which I haven't heard in YEARS, but then did and knew that it just belonged in this story. Please. Go listen to it because I played it about a thousand times while writing this. Also thanks to NerdyArtsyUnderdog for some excellent plot points. Oooooh and there's a little shout-out to that classic Puckleberry Finn story 'Bizarre Love Triangle' tucked in there as well!

Hope you enjoy!


Is 'shock and awe' an appropriate description for our impact on Regionals, Jonathan wonders idly? He's not into false modesty (unless he's talking to the press where it's practically a requirement), so when he's standing in the mezzanine balcony watching the lobby of the performing arts center where the performances will be held, he knows that he's a king just waiting for coronation. Vocal Adrenaline has had this locked up for months. (Don't hate him because he's talented.)

He's actually feeling a little nostalgic, hearing the excited chatter of the other teams walking in, lining up at the registration tables. Their director pre-registered them weeks ago; it helps to know people. He feels an odd little tug as he sees Rachel walking in and striding purposefully to the appropriate line, clipboard in hand with her coach trailing behind her. And sure enough, not 20 paces back, the tall one and the one with the hair are following after her like Tweedledum and Tweedledumber. (He's not really carrying a grudge, it was hard enough to hold on to their names when he was trying to make time with Rachel.) He wonders which one she's chosen, not that it matters all that much to him, not now that he's got Vanessa. Vanessa has blond hair, a nice little voice and most importantly, no inappropriately muscled ex-boyfriends or freakishly tall future boyfriends. He checked.

From above Jonathan watches as Rachel rounds up her team and starts handing out slips of paper (room assignments? practice notes?). Jonathan's only met her coach once, but it looks like Rachel is the one running things. Actually, not much of a surprise there.

He hasn't seen or spoken to her since they had broken up (which in the intervening weeks had morphed pretty firmly into 'completely my idea'). But now? This has the potential to be awkward and Jonathan briefly considers just avoiding her. However, Regionals is three days long and show choir is a surprisingly small world. Things get around. Meeting on a friendly basis would be mutually advantageous--and if Vanessa just happened to stop by, he'd be happy to introduce Rachel to his beautiful new girlfriend. They'd probably have lots in common.

He'll text her, he thinks, pulling out his phone. It would probably be best to meet someplace before the competition starts. Definitely not any place too isolated. Jonathan's not sure if breaking up with Rachel in the school parking lot counts as 'hurting her' in the eyes of the one with the hair, but since he didn't get a thank you note, he's not taking any chances.


Three hours later, having arranged what he hopes will be a entente cordial, he's back in the lobby. He sees Rachel from across the room and admires her presence as she walks over to him; she may be tiny, but people get out of her way. She smiles up at him and he gracefully leans down and kisses her cheek. It's second nature at this point to scan the room while doing so. Possibly he's started to develop a sixth sense about these things. Or it could just be paranoia--Vanessa had been a little put out when he refused to take her to her favorite French restaurant, but apparently, now in his head France equals mimes and that's seriously disturbing. (Note to self: get over that before the inevitable revival of Les Mis.)

But whether it's paranoia or precognition, he's totally called it. Over Rachel's shoulder, he can see the two of them staring at him meaningfully and they're getting closer. For a second he panics, before remembering with a sudden rush of gratitude, that this is no longer his problem. He wonders if Rachel's new boyfriend (wherever he is) has any idea of what's in store for him.

Rachel has definitely spotted them by this point--she looks, well still beautiful, but also completely furious and Jonathan has to applaud quick thinking on the part of the one with the hair: he pushes the tall one forward.

"Hey, Rach. You look great by the way. Which I guess I knew, because we just spent five hours on a bus together. We, uhm...well we know how much you love music. And singing. Because you know, of Glee club and Broadway and stuff like that..."

He rambles on for a while, and Jonathan doesn't really pay attention, because things are starting to happen. He spots a trumpet player behind a potted plant and is that a saxophone and a trombone coming out of the elevator? Oh yeah. It doesn't take a genius to figure out that those two idiots are behind this. Although, to be honest their antics are a lot more funny now that the two of them have their hooks into some other poor asshole. Music is actually a pretty good idea though. He's tried (no, scratch that, he's succeeded) in wooing women with song. Mostly jazz standards--Bewitched had always been a winner for him. So he looks around with interest, waiting to see what they'll go with, looking through the crowd, trying to figure out who the 'lucky' guy is.

"...totally amazing someday and I can't stop thinking about you, and your kneesocks, but mostly you..."

He's still rambling, but the one with the hair says witheringly, "Shut up, Hudson. Look Berry, we're singing you and loverboy a song and then maybe you can make a fucking choice and put us all out of our misery." He's muttering to himself and Jonathan thinks he hears something like 'fucking Hudson and his pansy-ass ideas...'

Rachel's beginning to look around a little wildly and from the right the guy from Rachel's Glee Club with the wheel chair is rolling out with a guitar on his lap. He smiles apologetically at Rachel and plays a few catchy opening chords. Then the brass instruments power in and Jonathan is now sure that this isn't going to be anything that Tony Bennett will be singing any time soon.

Then Puck and Finn (yeah, whatever, now that they're right here in front of him, he supposes he remembers their names) start in unison with the vocals and for a minute he's really shocked.

There's a little girl I know
You might know her too
She looks so good
She looks so cute
Standin' next to you

They're really pretty good. He knows without a doubt that his vocals are smoother, his delivery more powerful, but there's something about this, some kind of emotional verity that he hasn't been close to in a while. He'd spend more time thinking about it, but something else smacks him in the face. He may be a tiny bit self-obsessed, but there isn't any doubt. They're not just singing to Rachel--they're singing to him too.

And I don't know what to do
I want your girlfriend to be my
I want your girlfriend to be my girlfriend

What. The. Hell. He had been clear that night in the parking lot, right? And granted, he's must be tough to let go of, but this is a little more extreme than he feels comfortable with.

She's so fuckin' cute
I wish that she was mine
She's so fuckin' cute
I'm gonna lose my mind

And everyone is staring. Not in the good 'oh my god Jonathan your voice is amazing!' way that he likes, but in the 'horrible traffic accident can't look away' way. Rachel's eyes are moving between the three of them with a slightly sick expression. Hold on. She hasn't told them? Is she using him for cover? God, with her talent, ambition and deviousness, she's a natural for Broadway.

I don't know what to do
I don't know what to do
maybe I could kill you

Now that shit is freaky because Puck would do it. No question.

I want your girlfriend to be my girlfriend
Cause she's so cute I don't know what to do
Maybe she could love me too
I want your girlfriend to be my girlfriend

Puck and Finn draw out the last note as the instrumentals die away and the musicians melt into the crowd. The one in the wheelchair actually runs over a few toes in his hurry to get away. They must know Rachel, Jonathan thinks. Puck and Finn are both looking at her (Finn does throw him an sheepish glance, first). Finn's smiling sweetly and Puck is half-glaring at her, but the corners of his lips are curling up in what Jonathan considers to be a singularly besotted way.

Rachel turns to him and her cheeks are pink. "Jonathan, I can't tell you how sorry I am that you've been dragged into this again. I can assure you that it won't happen again." She spins to Finn and Puck and Jonathan can breathe again, because she's going to clear things up before Puckerman actually does try to kill him. The relief is short-lived because she does it at a volume best suited for reaching the back of the theatre. He'd forgotten how loud she could be.

"You idiots! If only you paid half as much attention to me as you do to your ridiculous posturing in the hallways! Noah, I've told you before, your arms are lovely but please stop flexing in front of me and Finn, soft serve ice cream is not an appropriate present to leave in my locker. Honestly! If you boys weren't completely caught up in your little games you might have realized that Jonathan and I broke up weeks ago."

Jonathan blanches slightly as Puck glares at him and Rachel continues fiercely, "And don't you dare give Jonathan that look, Noah Puckerman, because I can assure you that it was a mutual decision."

Puck has taken a step forward and grabbed her arm just above the elbow and Finn is standing next to her dipping his head down to smile shyly at her. Jonathan rolls his eyes and clears his throat a little impatiently (Again. Not the star. What a world.). "Maybe the three of you should go someplace a little more...private to discuss this," he suggests.

Rachel is looking thoughtful and then determined. "Not right now. I came to win Regionals and you two...that song, hearing the feeling, the ardor, you both put into it...well I have to admit it's done something for my emotional range that I think will translate into an truly epic performance. We'll talk after." She smiles meltingly and walks off, leaving the three of them staring after her. Did she always have that much of a sway to her hips when she walked, Jonathan wonders?

Puck's mouth closes with a snap. "I'm gonna go practice."

"Me too," says Finn fervently.

And for the first time all year, Jonathan wonders if Sectionals is as much in the bag as he'd thought it was.


END (really) (almost certainly)