A.N. I'm sooo sorry! I haven't updated in forever! I kind of made this chapter long to try and make up for it... Exams and studying... and just life in general has been keeping me on my toes. But, its summer now and I should have more time to write.
If thy doesn't own'th, thou can't sue'th.
I smiled against his lips when we pulled apart. "I love you, Carlisle."
"I love you, too, sweet princess."
I nervously rubbed my slightly sweaty palms up and down my face in frustration. Why couldn't I just do this? I love her and know she loves me back and I can completely be myself with her and she can completely be herself with me. I can talk to her about anything and she can talk to me about anything. All this and I was still so fucking nervous about asking her on a date.
I felt terrible that we'd already kissed probably numerous times and said we loved each other and I'd yet to taken her on a proper date. I was raised to be a gentleman and the way I was treating her just seemed so ungentlemanly. I wanted her to have the man she deserved and I was not fitting the bill just right- by my standards at least.
Of course, her being so selfless, she was saying nothing about it but I knew she really wanted a boyfriend that would take her places and such. I also knew she wanted a boyfriend that was younger which kind of saddened me and disgusted me just a bit. She was a seventeen-year-old, innocent, pained girl and I was a sick, love-struck, twenty-four-year-old man.
Sadly, none of this deteriorated my love for her.
I would willingly go out of my way to do anything for her. And, if it was what she wanted, I would just be her foster dad. I would encase every girlfriend-loving feeling I ever had and replace it with a dad-loving feeling for her. If she suddenly thought that this love was gross and sick and disgusting and she hated me- well, I don't know what I'd do. I definitely wouldn't send her back to that orphanage- no, over my dead body. I would probably just stay out of her way and take care of her from afar.
The thought of any of this happening tore my heart into pieces. But I'd hurt myself to not hurt her.
But you'd be a depressed ass for the rest of your life.
But I'd find myself a new girlfriend.
But you'd never love her like you love Bella.
It wouldn't matter because she wouldn't be disgusted by me anymore.
She loves you.
Bella decided to make an appearance and completely ruin my train of thought and shut down my mini argument with myself. She looked stunning as ever with her now sopping wet, mahogany locks sticking to her head and hanging limply in clots. Her hair looked darker than it's usual light brown from the water of her shower.
The simple thought of her naked in the shower made me want much more than to just kiss her. And I hated that because I didn't just want to jump her bones when she was in such a fragile state. She would hate me and I'd probably scare her, reminding her of all those men that had forced her to do things she didn't want.
She had a towel wrapped around herself, just above her breasts. She was still dripping some water and steam followed her out of the bathroom. The only reason I saw her was that I sat at the couch in the living room with a view of the hallway and she was making her way swiftly to her room to put on some clothes.
All I wanted right now was to kiss her and tell her how much I loved her.
I slowly, fluidly rose from my place on the couch and walked down the hallway. Bella disappeared into her room, unaware that I was following her. I stopped outside her door and leaned against the wall.
She came out a few seconds later. She wore a knee-length, intricately designed, yellow skirt that hugged her hips nicely; a brown, stringy belt with shells strung into the many strings helped to show off her curvy hips as well; an orange and yellow, tie die shirt hung loosely on her upper body; and white, ballet flats adorned her soft, creamy-looking, pale feet. Her brown hair that I worshiped hung loosely around her face, almost dry. In my opinion, she looked like a hippie. I really liked the look on her.
"Morning, gorgeous," I murmured in awe, grinning down at her.
She jumped, turning to look at me, her hand lightly hanging over her heart.
I realized just then that she wore some light makeup. Her eyelids had some soft pink eyeshadow and her eyelashes had a bit of mascara on.
A smile immediately graced her beautiful face as she looked a bit timidly up at me. "Good morning, Carlisle," she returned in a voice just below normal standards for speaking. She moved a stray piece of hair behind her ear but it fell back out.
I gently grazed my hand across her cheek and took the strand between my fingers before pushing it back behind her small, satin ear, tucking it in so it would stay. I grinned at her, noticing the slight flush in her cheeks. "I must say, you do look absolutely beautiful today," I murmured in appreciation, taking her hip in one of my arms, pulling her closer.
Her blush deepened but her smile widened. She shrugged, trying to appear nonchalant. "I tried," she murmured.
I chuckled and lightly kissed one inflamed cheek. "You succeeded." I gently moved to kiss the corner of her lips.
She shivered beneath my touch and reached up to wrap her arms around my neck. She seemed to hesitate, unsure and I guessed she still wasn't too confident with herself.
I moved my lips to softly kiss hers. She moved her lips along mine, following my lead, still a tiny bit hesitant but willing.
After a minute of softly kissing her plump, pink lips, I pulled back, remembering my mission. It was now or never. I felt my nervousness build up as she reopened her eyes.
I took her hand in mine, entwining my fingers with hers. "Bella?" I began nervously.
She quirked an eyebrow, looking at me questioningly.
I breathed in deeply, wondering why I felt like the teenage girl making a move on her secret crush. Her closeness wasn't helping my train of thought in the least.
"Bella." I breathed a deep, shaky breath.
She bit her lip, amusement flaring in her eyes. She stopped even closer. "Yes, Carlisle?" she breathed sexily, whether it was intended or not.
My heart beat heavily in my chest. "Um... do you, uh, do you want to um... go out to... eat food?" I stuttered nervously and nearly smacked my forehead with my hand.
She smirked up at me. "Is that Geek talk for: will you go out with me?" she asked with a small giggle.
I nodded sheepishly, my heart beating frantically against my rib cage.
She lightly stroked my cheek, smiling a very sweet, knowing smile. "Hun, why are you so nervous?" she asked in her sweet, angelic voice. "I'm always going to say yes."
I sighed in relief and lightly kissed her smooth, kissable lips. "I guess because you always have a choice." I looked earnestly into her eyes. "You can always say no, I'm not going to force anything on you."
She smiled and a knowing look came into her eyes, like she could read my mind. "I'll always love you, Carlisle. No matter how you picture my so called "perfect boyfriend" it won't be the same because it won't be you." She pointed her finger, pressing it lightly into my chest. "I love you, for your flaws and all."
I looked at her skeptically. "Are you sure you can't read minds?" I asked, jokingly wary.
She laughed and rolled her eyes. "No, I just know you." She got a sly look in her lively brown eyes. She came closer to me, lightly trailing her fingers up and down my chest. "Hold on just a sec," she said quickly, pressing her palms to my chest before turning away from me and racing down the hall, to the living room and hanging a sharp left.
I mourned the loss of her closeness and contact but curiously followed after her more slowly. I entered the living room to see Bella standing in front of my iHome, probably looking through the songs on my iPod. I walked over to her and wrapped my arms around her waist.
"Looking for a song?" I whispered into her ear. "Are you going to sing for me?" I asked hopefully.
She turned with the same sly look in her eyes. "Well... I was hoping maybe you'd sing to me," she suggested hopefully.
I raised an eyebrow at her, shocked. "I'm not a great-" I was cut off my her finger lightly pressed against my lips.
"Please?" she asked with puppy dog eyes that I just couldn't say no to.
I smiled down at her, thinking of the perfect song and hoping she'd sing Ke$ha's part along with me in My First Kiss. "Do you know," I moved around her to put my iPod on the song. "this song?" I asked her as the opening music started.
She smirked and nodded.
"Sing with me," I murmured as I pulled her close then attempted singing. "My first kiss went a little like this," I sang softly along with 3Oh!3's part and kissed her lips. "And twist." I twisted my head to kiss her again and again. "And twist."
She smiled and began her part. "Well my first kiss went a little like this," she sang along with Ke$ha's part and kissed me. "And twist." She twisted her lead to kiss me two more times. "And twist."
I smirked as I began to sing the first verse. "I said no more teachers and no more books. I got a kiss under the bleachers hoping that nobody looks." I paused to quickly swipe my tongue across her lips. "Lips like liquorish, tongue like candy." Softly, I stuck a finger just below the waist of her skirt and she gasped in surprise but didn't stop me. "Excuse me miss but can I get you out your panties?" I sang, trailing a finger along the band of her panties.
She slapped my arm playfully and tried to pull back but I kept her close. I was really beginning to like my song choice. "In the back of the car, on the way to the bar. I got you on my list." I softly sang the last line again. "At the foot of the stairs," I paused to weave my fingers into her beautiful hair. "With my fingers in your hair. Baby, this is it."
"She won't ever get enough once she gets a little touch." I grinned cockily just thinking about the lyrics, moving a hand back down to slide into her skirt again, asking her with my eyes if this was alright.
She nodded, lust in her beautiful eyes, and I continued exploring and began to sing the chorus.
"If I had it my way, you know that I'd make her say." I continued to gently run my fingers over the smooth skin of her waist and down to lightly touch her underwear. "Oooooh," I continued to sing, trying to not make myself sound weird. "Oooooh."
I repeated the chorus and then let her take over. "Well my first kiss went a little like this," she began and kissed me hard, letting her lust flow from her to me and I felt myself grow hard. She pulled back and I let her continue through my part. "I said no more sailors and no more soldiers. With your name in a heart, tattooed up on the shoulders." She brought me in to kiss me again, this time swiping her tongue cautiously against my lips, tasting it. "Your kiss is like whiskey, it gets me drunk." She sucked one lip gently into her mouth. "And I wake up in the morning with the taste of your tongue." She quickly stuck her tongue into my mouth.
I moaned as her tongue licked over mine and I just couldn't continue singing. I kept her close to me, our tongues fighting each other, my hand still exploring her below the waistband of her skirt.
She moaned deeply as we broke off for air when I simply stuck a finger into her panties. She was breathing so hard I actually worried for a moment that she might be hyperventilating but knew better and continued to kiss down her neck.
I pulled back suddenly and she groaned in frustration. I wanted to go on a date with her before going too far- and putting myself in the face of temptation wasn't helping my self control. I placed one more soft kiss to her lips and simply held her close.
She caught her breath and smile up at me. "Wow... Carlisle, your voice... you can definitely sing," she said in awe, tripping over her words, trying to find the right thing to say.
I chuckled and shrugged. "Now... about that date- I have the perfect place in mind. Are you ready to go?" I inquired.
She nodded. "Yeah, just give me a minute." She rushed back to her room and I grabbed my wallet and keys, wondering what had just happened.
I had never believed that, this soon, she'd let me go that far. Maybe I'd imagined her consent? I wonder if I'd crossed a boundary. I really hope I had not because that felt great and right, being so close to her and intimate. It felt like my whole body was on fire and continuously got shocked by simply the feel of her soft, creamy skin.
Small arms wrapped around my waist and one hand ventured dangerously close to where my cock still strained against my pants. I hissed quietly as her hand ghosted over it, just barely making contact.
"Ok, now I'm ready to go," she whispered in a very sexy voice as she drew back and I groaned at the loss. I could almost hear the smirk in her voice.
I turned around to face Bella and wrapped my arms around her waist, pulling her close and my erection hit her stomach. "You little vixen," I said affectionately.
She shrugged, her smirk growing. "Payback."
I scoffed, feigning hurt. "So you didn't like what I did? It required getting back at me for doing it?" I asked, letting hurt show in my voice, playing it on too thick so she'd hopefully see I was kidding.
She looked shocked and shameful and I immediately regretted playing with her. She was still too fragile for sarcasm. "No, no, no. I-I'm sorry, Carlisle. I-" I cut her off, saddened that she looked on the verge of tears and I'd made her that way.
"No, no, sweet princess. I didn't mean it that way, I was only joking around. I'm sorry," I quickly amended, rubbing her back gently.
She softly took my shirt into her weak fist. "Aren't you getting tired of this?" she asked quietly and weakly. "Shouldn't you be... running for the hills, so to speak, as any man would?"
I quickly shook my head. "I'd never run from you," I murmured softly. I took her hand in mine, entwining our fingers together. "Now, lets go have some fun." I smiled softly down at her.
She kissed my cheek. "Yeah, fun," she agreed thoughtfully.
(A.N.) So... was it any good? I love that song- My First Kiss by 3Oh!3 featuring Ke$ha(lol... just look at their names). Please tell me what you thought in a review!
Ms. White Christmas