You're on the phone with your girlfriend
She's going off about something that you said
'Cuz she doesn't get your humor like I do
"C'mon, Cat," Sirius pleaded. "You know I didn't mean it like that!"
Remus stood at the sink and shook his head at the conversation happening behind him. He could only hear Sirius' half of the conversation coming from the floo, but it was fairly simple to fill in the blanks of what Catherine was saying on the other end.
"It was just a joke! I didn't think you'd get so upset about it…" Sirius trailed off and Remus saw him flinch as if something had just been thrown at him. A moment later Remus' suspicions were confirmed when a shoe bounced out of the floo and skittered across the tile.
The Marauders had all thought it was funny when Sirius had hung a pair of Shelly Brennan's knickers from the roof of Gryffindor Tower. Even Remus had uncharacteristically snickered behind his hands. Catherine, however, had not been nearly as amused to see her best friend's knickers displayed for all to see.
She had confronted Sirius about it, but Sirius had merely laughed and said that if Shelly wasn't such a slag then perhaps her dirty knickers wouldn't have been left on the stairs. Remus had disguised his snicker with a cough, but James and Peter hadn't been quite as considerate and had laughed loudly, and Catherine had merely turned bright red and started screaming.
I'm in the room
It's a typical Tuesday night
I'm listening to the kind of music she doesn't like
And she'll never know your story like I do
Remus was laying on his stomach with his feet in the air, lazily waving his wand while he practiced his Charms work, and bouncing his feet in time to the music from Peter's Muggle transistor radio.
"Can't you turn that off?" Catherine whined from Sirius' bed. "It's obnoxious!"
Remus chose to ignore her, his foot shaking faster when the music changed to a more upbeat rock song, his wand moving in time with the music as if he was conducting a grand orchestra.
"Sirius, please?" Catherine asked. Even without looking at her, Remus knew she was batting her eyelashes the way she did to get Sirius do what she wanted, and he rolled his eyes even though no one could see him.
"It's a good song," Sirius replied, "just ignore it."
"I just don't get why you listen to this Muggle racket," she complained. "Your parents would freak out if they knew you listened to this."
Remus could feel more than hear Sirius shifting uncomfortably from across the room and he wanted to sigh in agreement. He heard the bed sheets rustle when Sirius reached for his wand, and a moment later the music stopped abruptly, leaving the room in a heavy, but awkward, silence.
But she wears short skirts
I wear T-shirts
She's cheer captain
And I'm in the bleachers
Dreaming about the day when you wake up
And find what you're looking for has been here the whole time
"I can't believe Sirius scored with Catherine Smith!" Peter was gushing, his beady eyes fixed intently on the ground at the bottom of the stands where Catherine and her friends were wearing impossibly short skirts and jumping around.
Remus tugged at the hem of his threadbare t-shirt and watched Sirius fly. Sirius may not have been on the Quidditch team, but he was a brilliant flyer, and Remus loved to just sit and watch him work out with the house team at practices. He could fool Peter into thinking that he was there to watch the cheerleaders, but Remus never bothered to lie to himself. He was there to watch Sirius, and to hope that one day Sirius would be watching him, too.
Remus shoved the thoughts away. It wasn't healthy to be so in love with someone. Especially not when said someone was his best mate, who just so happened to be straight. It would only end in heartache, Remus knew, yet he allowed himself the indulgence of dreaming about it while he sat in the stands watching Sirius fly.
If you could see that I'm the one who understands you
Been here all along so why can't you see, you
You belong with me
The night Sirius left his parents' house for good he went to Remus' house first.
"Hey, Moony," Sirius said softly, his emotions heavy on the warm breeze that drifted over the grass to where Remus was lying with his eyes closed.
"Pads," Remus responded quietly without opening his eyes.
Sirius was thankful for the unspoken invitation and promptly laid down perpendicular to his friend's body. He rested his head on Remus' thin chest and mumbled incoherently when Remus' fingers instinctively moved to stroke his hair.
No words were spoken in the hour before Sirius left for the Potters', but both boys relished in the feeling of rightness of just laying together in the fading sunlight while the world moved on around them.
You belong with me
Walkin' the streets with you and your worn-out jeans
I can't help thinking this is how it ought to be
Laughing on a park bench, thinking to myself
Hey isn't this easy
"James, you look ridiculous!" Sirius howled with laughter at his friend's Muggle tweed trousers and suit jacket. "You were supposed to blend in with the Muggles, not look like you escaped from one of their prisons."
A certain part of Remus' anatomy noticed Sirius was dressed in faded jeans that fit him perfectly in all the right places, a tight black shirt that showed off his well-shaped, but not overly muscled chest and stylish dragonhide boots. It took all of Remus' self-restraint not to shove Sirius into the nearest alley and ravish him, but the mantra in his head held him at bay. 'He's not yours. He's not yours.'
"Well fine," James was flushed red from the tips of his ears all the way down his neck. "I'll be back when you've stopped laughing." With a quick glance around and a turn on his heel, he was gone, leaving Sirius and Remus laughing on the street corner.
"So what do you want to do until he gets back?" Remus asked with a grin, shoving his suddenly-sweaty palms into the pockets of his khaki trousers and rolling back on his heels. He was silently thankful Peter's mom wouldn't let him come that day and James had no sense of Muggle fashion, because it gave him a little time alone with Sirius.
"Let's explore, Moonface," Sirius grinned, throwing one arm around Remus' narrow shoulders and leaning into him. "We're in Muggle London! It's a whole new world!"
Remus flushed at the contact. 'He's not yours. He's not yours,' repeated in his mind. Fighting the urge to slide his own arm around Sirius' waist, he awkwardly settled his arm over his friend's shoulder as they wandered aimlessly through the streets of London, exploring shops and bakeries.
Nearly three hours later James had still not returned and the pair gave up on the idea of him coming back.
"Let's get ice cream!" Sirius shouted, dropping his arm from Remus' shoulders.
Remus nearly whimpered at the loss of contact. He had grown used to the weight of Sirius' arm around him, and he felt cold and abandoned without it wrapping him in warmth and comfort. The loss of contact only lasted a few seconds before Sirius' warm hand was grabbing his and dragging him through the park in search of an ice cream vendor.
A few minutes of searching found them an ice cream cart in a somewhat quiet part of the park. With one hand still gripping Remus', Sirius contemplated his choice of ice cream, finally deciding on a triple scoop of peanut butter toffee, pistachio, and cookie dough, while Remus requested a single scoop of pralines and cream.
Sirius frantically licked at his cone as they made their way to an empty bench, the ice cream already dripping onto his fingers in the August heat. His pink tongue darted out of his slightly parted lips, swirled around the cone to catch every drop of ice cream, and sucked it back into his mouth. He practically moaned with appreciation, a sound which went straight to Remus' groin.
If Remus hadn't already been half-hard from watching Sirius eating his ice cream in such a provocative manner, the sounds he was making sure would have. Remus shifted uncomfortably to adjust the tightness in his trousers and tried to remind himself that Sirius wasn't teasing him, but the longer he watched, the more lost be became in the fantasy of Sirius' lips wrapped around something decidedly warmer than ice cream.
And you've got a smile that could light up this whole town
I haven't seen it in a while since she brought you down
You say your fine
I know you better then that
Hey whatcha doing with a girl like that
Seventh year started with a number of shocking revelations, the first being that James Potter had been made head boy, and the second being when Sirius and Peter had found Remus pinning a seventh year Ravenclaw boy to the stone wall of an empty corridor with his tongue down the boy's throat.
"Moony?" Sirius' voice was high and strained.
Sirius' question cut straight through the lust-induced haze of Remus' mind, and he pushed away from the other boy as if he had been burned.
"Remus," the boy moaned breathlessly, his hands scrambling to catch hold of Remus' robes.
Before Remus could speak, Sirius turned and fled down the hallway, quickly disappearing around a corner. Remus followed a moment later, having completely forgotten about the Ravenclaw boy.
The following weeks were awkward at best. They did not speak of the incident in the corridor and desperately avoided spending time alone together. Sirius spent all his free time with Catherine and Remus spent his time alone in the dormitory.
Since spending more time with Catherine, Remus noticed Sirius was smiling less and less often. The boy who was always laughing and had a grin plastered across his face rarely even bothered to paste on a fake smile for his friends. He was quiet and sullen, and even Peter commented on how uncharacteristic Sirius' behavior was, but they were forced to stand by and watch helplessly as Sirius disappeared into a shell of his former self.
She wears high heels
I wear sneakers
She's cheer captain and I'm on the bleachers
Dreaming about the day when you wake up
That what you're looking for has been here the whole time
Heels click-clacked on the stone floor of the castle and the sound echoed down the hall as if announcing Catherine's immanent presence.
Remus glanced sideways at Sirius in the empty room and dove for the storage cupboard in the corner of the room. It was just large enough to hold him if he hunched his shoulders, but he prayed that Catherine wouldn't stay too long.
"There you are!" her high, nasally voice filled the room. "What are you doing all the way down here?"
"Just thinking," Sirius replied, his voice muffled by the wood of the cupboard. "Why are you here?"
"James said you were down here. I need to talk to you about this."
"What's that?" Sirius' voice was mildly curious, but Remus didn't know what caused the question.
"It's a letter from your mother. Regulus wrote her to say that you're spending time with the half-blood again," she spat the words accusingly. "I thought I told you I didn't want you to be around him anymore."
"He's one of my best mates," Sirius sighed dejectedly. "I'm not just going to dump him like he doesn't mean anything to me."
Remus' throat constricted and made it hard to breathe. Sirius wouldn't leave him, would he?
"Sirius," Catherine's voice dropped significantly. "You can have this," she purred, though loud enough Remus could still hear her, and he expected she was rubbing up against Sirius in that way that made his blood boil and caused him to want to tear her head off. "Or you can have your mangy half-blood friend. You have to choose."
If you could see that I'm the one who understands you
Been here all along so why can't you see
You belong with me
Sirius hadn't made eye contact with Remus since the day Catherine gave him an ultimatum. He was still with her, so it was obvious, to Remus at least, what his choice had been.
Remus spent the following days anywhere but where Sirius was. He had the Marauders map with him at all times and used it to actively avoid his ex-friend, moving from the library to an empty study room to the Room of Requirement, always staying one step ahead of Sirius.
His marks began to suffer because he had to divide his attention between his schoolwork and watching the map, his already-thin frame shrank two sizes, and the darkness around his eyes spread due to sleeping in the Shrieking Shack most nights because he couldn't go back to Gryffindor tower.
The night of the full moon snuck up on him that month, but luckily he was already in the Shrieking Shack when the transformation took hold of him. His muscles ripped, burned, and stretched beneath his skin, but even in the midst of the pain he spotted a large black dog sitting by the door, watching with furrowed brows and worried grey eyes.
Moony dropped to all fours and whimpered softly after the transformation. Remus rarely had control over himself during the full moon, but the pain and hurt that Sirius had caused was so strong that even Moony was reluctant to approach Padfoot. The look in Padfoot's eyes, Sirius' eyes, caught Moony's attention and he finally moved towards the door and pounced, landing on top of Padfoot and pinning him to the ground.
Padfoot was stunned, but reacted quickly, throwing Moony off of him and charging head-on at the prone werewolf. The following hours were filled with tumbles, howls, bites, and growls as the pair fought out their anger and hurt on the dirty floor of the Shrieking Shack.
And when the sun finally appeared low on the horizon, Sirius and Remus passed out on the single mattress, their torn and bloodied bodies pressed tightly together.
I remember you drivin' to my house in the middle of the night
I'm the one who makes you laugh
When you know you're about to cry
And I know your favorite songs
And you tell me about your dreams
Think I know where you belong
Think I know it's with me...
"Sirius?" Remus whispered into the dark night. It was only a week into the summer after graduation, but something had woken Remus from his slumber. That something being the dark shape of a person standing in his doorway.
The shape moved forward until it was standing less than a foot away, and Remus could see Sirius' eyes shining in the pale streaks of moonlight. He shifted over in the bed to make space for his friend who took the hint and slid under the covers after kicking off his shoes.
"Catherine dumped me," he whispered, his voice raw and hoarse. He burrowed into Remus' pillow, hiding his face, and Remus knew he was hiding tears.
"Did you really need her?" Remus asked softly. "Weren't you the one who said that she sounded just like your mother? That takes the Oedipus complex to a whole new level if you ask me…" Remus trailed off, watching Sirius' body shake from laughter rather than tears.
Remus wordlessly put a silencing charm around the room and turned on his Muggle radio to Sirius' favorite station, letting the loud rock echo in the room until Sirius had stopped laughing and had rambled endlessly in whispers. He talked about wanting to be an Auror, wanting to be a mechanic in Muggle London, wanting to see the world, wanting to get away from wizarding London where everyone still saw him as a Black and not as Sirius. He spoke for hours while Remus listened, until his body finally gave into the exhaustion and sleep overtook him.
With a sorrow-filled smile, Remus turned the music off and made an attempt to move out of the bed, only to be restrained by Sirius' arm around his chest. Reluctantly Remus burrowed back into the covers and Sirius' body and tried to fall asleep.
Can't you see that I'm the one who understands you
Been here all along
So why can't you see
You belong with me
"Moony?" Sirius whispered the next morning. His arms were still wrapped tightly around Remus' slender torso and his erection was nestled firmly against Remus' arse, which he tried desperately not to thrust against.
"Mmmhmm?" Remus replied incoherently and pushed back against Sirius' chest and groin, rubbing himself against Sirius' throbbing erection. He stilled suddenly when he became fully aware of what his sleep-addled body had been doing, but by then it had already been enough.
"Moony," Sirius' voice was low and husky, and whispered directly against his neck. "I think I know why things never worked with Catherine." His body had stilled as well, though it was practically vibrating with need and intensity.
"Why's that?" Remus whispered, choking on his words.
"Because she's not you," he replied just as softly, thrusting ever-so-slightly against Remus' bum. "It was always supposed to be you."
Remus rolled them so he was lying directly on top of Sirius, their groins pushed together by gravity, causing them to hiss and moan at the contact. "Sirius," he groaned. "Merlin, I thought you'd never realize it." Without giving Sirius the chance to respond, Remus captured the lips of his dreams with his own. The kiss was frantic, desperate, and hungry, now that there was nothing keeping him from taking Sirius as his own.
And in the back of Remus' mind, that little voice stopped whispering 'He's not yours' and began whispering 'Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine.'
Have you ever thought just maybe
You belong with me