"No this can't be happening, tell me it is just a really horrible nightmare and that when I wake up it would have never have happened." Naru said as her emo cloud over head began to rain with brief clashes of lighting and rumbles of thunder.

"It can't be so bad, now can it? I'm very well off, I have a nice paycheck and money saved for a number of rainy days, and he said we can have all the paper work processed in six months for a divorce. Plus I have been told, on the down low of course, I' m quite a catch! You'll rue the day you let such a fine specimen of a man go, I guarantee it!" Shunsui boisterously declared trying to lighten up the atmosphere as he patted the back of his now even more distraught wife of only 15 minutes.

"I thought you could get an annulment though, what gives?" Naru's emo cloud briefly quited for her to listen to her husband speak. "I asked him after I had to knock you out to keep you from going rabid on the poor man." Kyoraku turned his face and smiled at his wife. "That bastard would have deserved it!" Naru pouted at her husband giving him big teary puppy dog eyes.

Kyoraku smiled wider at his wife and was about to reply, when he was viciously nailed in the back of the head by a large book that came out of nowhere! It managed to carry his body clear across to the other side of the park causing a large booming sound from where his body impacted upon the park's walls.

Naru blinked her eyes in bewilderment and slight awe at someones' ferocious power display. She mechanically turned her head to spot the Vice Captain of 8th squad, marching up to the smoking furrow while pushing up the sleeves of her haori, advancing like a predator to her madly twitching husband. She magically whipped out some popcorn, as she watched the vicious beat down begin. "This is just like watching Celebrity Death Matches!" Naru whispered in a loud evil voice peppered with malicious cackles.

"Where Have you been! I have looked every where for you!! There is a mile high stack of papers on your desk that need your signature, that were due yesterday! The Captain- Commander is going to kill us, if they aren't turned in today! " Ise Nanao demanded as she grabbed a handful of his haori and shook her captain like a rag doll.

"Nanao-Chan, don't worry, he wouldn't kill us. Beside, I only had a little to drink yesterday!Oh, I almost forgot! I have some one I would like to introduce you too, dear sweet Nanao- Chan!" The abused captain flash stepped his way out of Nanao's furious beat down to appear beside the woman, his vice captain had disregarded earlier. "Hurry up Nanao chan!" He waved giddily towards his vice captain. His draped pink kimono bobbed with his movements making him look like an excited teenage girl. Shunsui turned towards his wife and noticed a small smile on her face, even if it was at his expense.

He made Naru smile if even a little, which caused him to give a small smile in return as well. He slowly put his hand out towards the seated woman and watched as she took his hand to stand up beside him. His eyes softened if just a little, as she was laughing at his vice captain gob smacked face. All traces of her popcorn mysteriously vanishing, as she stood proudly beside her accidental husband.

Nanao turned herself around and stared at the most beautiful woman she had ever even seen before standing so naturally beside her captain. Earlier she had thought she was some sort of noble bombshell her captain was hitting on, and took preemptive measures to lessen the damage that he would cause their unit, in the very foreseeable future. She had a chill race down her spine when her eyes looked at the petite woman again,but she turned around and started walking towards the odd pair. Once she was in range her bespectacled gray eyes honed in on the way her captain was standing almost protectively beside the woman. And he was smiling. Bad things happens when he smiles. Now she knew something was amiss and patiently waited for him to introduce the mysterious pigtailed blond.

"Ise Nanao Vice Captain of the 8th Unit of the Gotei 13. Meet Shunsui Naru Uzumaki, my wife of the Shunsui Clan." He was smiling as he held up the hand with his wedding band as proof in front of the shocked look on his Vice's face as she turned red started sputtering, gasping before dropping in a dead faint. "Oh dear." He said as he stopped smiling and prodded the unconscious form before him with his foot, dropping his left hand beside his leg.

"You better take her to the 4th unit." Naru said through tears of laughter.

"Guess your right. I didn't think she would faint, rant and rave maybe, but not this." He said as he moved his hand in a sweeping gesture at the slumped form of his vice.

"OK, I guess this is where we part ways. I have to get back to work. See you later tonight." Just before she was about to leave he asked "Are you going to be OK with this?" His voice was lower then before his rugged face was hidden by the wide brim of his bamboo hat. "I don't have any idea what you are talking about Shunsui." The blond said in a jovial tone of voice bordering on sarcastic. "I'll be at the 8th squad barracks tonight." He replied watching her closely from under the brim of his bamboo hat with one gray eye as it gleamed as he saw her subtly shift her body weight just a tiny bit. "OK I guess,I'll see ya around when I see ya." She repositioned herself and was gone in matter of nanoseconds not even stirring a leaf in her departure. "She's freakishly good at that." And with that he knelt down and picked up his Vice and proceeded to flash step her towards the fourth squad's infirmary.

When he showed up at their barracks he caused a bit of a ruckus as Unohana's squad was always busy, but they were able to get Nanao a room quickly as he explained what happened to the tall Vice Captain of the fourth squad's unit Isane.

"She just fainted, I think she over worked herself again." He quickly explained before he told them he had some paper work at the office he had to attend to so poor Nanao-chan could get some more rest and that he would stop by tonight to visit her. And with that he disappeared back to the 8th Squad barracks but first he would stop over at the Captain's and Seated Officers Library in the 10th squad's district. The most neutral district that the Gotei 13 had and try to find out any information about his new bride.

A few Hours later A series of loud sounds of a gavel banging on a wooden board carried across the whole of Soul Society as the Shinigami Captain Commander Yamamoto called for a Captains' Meeting immediately.

"Oh boy, today just isn't my day."Shunsui thought to himself as he proceeded to close the book he had been reading about his wife's family history. He smiled an ironic smile as he swept out of the 8th district's barracks and flash stepped his way to the 1st Unit's Barracks where all meetings where held. He was pleased that he wasn't the first nor the last to arrive as he got in his usual position to await for the stragglers to arrive. He was pleased that old man Yama' was getting impatient waiting for the last Captain to arrive.

The large brim of his hat hiding his eyes in shadow as he surveyed each captain in turn noting the changes each had gone through after Aizen's defeat some five years ago during the Winter War. His thoughts and observations where interrupted when the last Captain finally took his place at the front of one of the two vertical walls of Captains making a path down the middle to face the Captain General Commander Yamamoto. "Thank you Kurosaki, for deciding to grace us with your presence." The old man said in a loud voice that carried throughout the large room.

The young captain of the 5th squad narrowed his brown eyes at the old man in annoyance and said, "Sorry." Without meaning it and turned his attention on the old man.

With a punctuated thump of his gnarled cane he said in a very serious tone of voice, "I have come across some very disturbing information today. One of Our Captain's has married a very influential heir to a powerful family. He has not sought permission to marry, knowing of his duties as a Captain of the Gotei 13. Kyoraku-kun, do you have any thing to say?" The old man cracked an wizened eye to look at the younger man he considered his son.

"Old man, sorry you were not invited to the wedding, don't worry it was a very small affair. She is a very private person from a minor noble family, so it wasn't anything too terribly big." He said very casually to get on all their nerves, he wasn't in a good mood. He hated being called on about his private life, it was none of their business.

"None the less, you should have informed me that you were engaged and married. So that your duties could be attended to while you were off honeymooning." The aged commander said in a stern voice, as if he was an upset father.

"We never got one. I knew my duties would interfere, so no honeymoon." Kyoraku said. He knew it was dirty playing this type of game, using his newly married status to get out of working. He just mentally shrugged his shoulders, and decided to make it up to her someway soon.

"Taki" The aged commander said aloud and just like that a second division messenger runner appeared, "Get me Lady Uzumaki as soon as you can." Gasps were heard around the room all from different captains for different reasons.

"How could you marry such a disagreeable person." Captain of the 12 division said aloud. His oily voice carrying around the room and straight into Kyoraku's heart.

"Don't talk about Naru that way! Besides who asked you, you freak!!" Said one unidentifiable captain(11th) before the room fell into Anarchy.

Shouts where heard around the room and Kyoraku fell back into place in line as he was before he was previously called into public interrogation. He noted only a few people were not speaking, 4th and 13th as well as 2nd. The second commander Soi Fon had a very intense look on her face, almost as if she was having a sever case of constipation. The fourth captain Unohana had a very distinct blush coloring her usually pale skin, now that was an interesting reaction. And he peeked at his best friend to see his usually pale skin blotched with anger and a mask of betrayal applied onto his friend's usually peaceful face. Dark gray eyes were burning with jealousy as calm gray eyes met over the den of chaos, sparking a minor reitsu war they were not even aware of preforming. One cutting into the other not even noticing the world around fading into the background as they fought for dominance over each other.

"Silence." The one word, made the captains immediately cease they petty indifferences, at least for now. "Lady Uzumaki is here." All eyes turned towards the double doors at the end to see what she looked like. Ichigo said playfully, "I bet she's freakishly ugly" to ease the tension of the room only to receive a few well placed Killing intents as his reward. "OK,OK Christ, sorry! I get it. Your all in love with her!" Instead of the K.I, as a reward he was whacked over the back of his head by a senior captain instead. "Dunce." Was the 10th Captain's response.

The second division's runner appeared and knelt before the gathered captains and said.

"Lady Uzumaki is here,upon your request Captain Commander." Taki said as he awaited further orders from either of his commanders. "Dismissed." The first commander said in a pointed tone. All eyes went back towards the double doors.

A loud groan of the heavy doors opening a stream of light back lighting the petite figure, as dainty footsteps was heard a gust of warm perfumed air smelling lightly of gardenia's wafted gently into the room. She held them all mesmerized before they even knew her face. She fully stepped into the room, the doors closed behind her with a soft thump. They all looked upon the beauty before them, she was a feast for the eyes. A heart shaped face, dark long lashes, slightly tanned skin, and the most heart stopping, breathe stealing,gorgeous blue eyes and long flowing golden hair and kissable rosebud plump lips. Small slender shoulders graceful arms, large breast, small waist, a flare of very womanly hips a pert bottom nice thighs and long shapely legs and small dainty feet.

"I retract what I said earlier." Was the response that cut the rooms' spell bound occupants free.

Breath was a commodity that was not in current currency as the room was still stifled by her over whelming presence.

The female standing before them tilted her head a bit to the side and smiled very gently making her eyes soft as she said with a low smoky tone of voice best used in a bed room as she seduced them into her trap.

"Hello." A shudder went through the room at lighting speed. Casting chills unto their spines running down their vertebra like chilled ice in the summer time. Goose bumps rose on some of the lesser experienced captain's arms and on the back of their necks as she used her powers of persuasion.

Her method of persuasion was an ancient one only used by the house of Uzumaki. The mass release of pheromones.

Unohana knew this method all to well for she had not yet over come her temptation in all the years the Uzumakis had been providing her unit with herbs and other more useful bits and pieces of medicine. She subtly shifted her weight as she tried, without success not to rub her thighs together as she remembered banning anyone lower then her Vice from collecting the Medicines from the Uzumaki Estates. She exhaled slowly as she felt her juices start to flow, knowing the others were in even worse straights then herself, she at least had a hundred year head start, to build up an tolerance for it. It just made her more aware of what the "minor" Lord was doing subtly as she prodded each of their defenses.

Unohana bit the inside of her lip as time seemed to stop as she felt the weight of those same keen blue eyes on her. Her body recalled the forgotten forbidden dance they once used to indulge in, when her job became too much and she needed a stress reliever. She tried not to remember as blue eyes clouded with lust locked onto her dark navy ones with the same determination as she recalled those same blue eyes looking up at her from between the apex of her thighs as she blew across her sensitive womanhood. She shuddered as she had a public orgasm.

Kyoraku attempted no to visibly shuddered as he recalled the memories from just last night. The rhythmic pounding of that soft virgin flesh as she screamed his name, for the first time. Him gripping her hips, pulling her viciously into his deep thrust, making a obscene slapping sound of flesh on flesh; as he grabbed a handful of that long silken golden hair, and making her bare her long slender graceful neck to the side in submission. He recalled sucking on it like a vampire hungering for the blood right below the surface. Submission and domination was the game they played last night, he dominated her first, only for her to fight it and reverse their roles so she was the dominate one... He reined his body in as best he could with a raging hard on, and focused on his wife. He wondered if she knew that she lost her virginity to him last night in the heat of the moment up against a book shelf as he took her from behind.

The other captains were not so fortunate as Kyoraku was to have such knowledge of the petite woman as their minds filled with pornographic thoughts. A few were indulging in wild fantasy as she suck or licked them in the erotic places. A few even indulged in sharing her with her husband in a threesome, or a threesome of their own making.

Her eyes closed and a wider more Cheshire smile made its' home on her mouth as she said quietly, "Kai." Without an audible noise the room's pressure was lifted. Everyone of the captains were now cautious around the petite shapely female. The Uzumaki's were minor,influential as well as feared for a reason, now they all knew why.

to be continued...(just kidding!)

A clearing of the throat was heard as they turned their attention back to the Captain Commander. "Lady Uzumaki, Is it true you have recently married?" The old man cracked a baneful eye on the young beauty before him centered in the middle of the walk way between both lines of captains, he never noticed when she walk further into the room. Yamamoto payed careful attention to the way the young woman was standing, he didn't know what she was capable of so best be prepared for anything.

Her outer appearance was prideful and a bit playful, almost egotistical,arrogant even, to the untrained eye. She was the type of warrior he was most afraid of. She was guarding her left side and her right arm was bent at an angle suggesting she was not without weapons inside those billowy sleeves of her formal kimono. Next he made a quick observation of her outfit which suggested she also had some sort of explosives hidden in the obi, and her lining of her over haori was also cause for concern. The next thing his eyes followed was the line of the young noble woman down her body till it came to her geta which were a bit outdated without all the flowery designs on them all the young shinigami women were crowing about these days. He did hear a sharp clack of metal and wood meeting letting him know the bottom of her getas were armor plated, as well as the underside of both her wrist...that came right at the angle to draw a sword from. So she came prepared for war, amongst allies. She did not trust them. He signed mentally to himself and began where he left off from earlier,noting that her line of body followed him so very subtly that only two of the captains picked it up. Kyoraku and Kenpachi. A two thousand year old master observer and tactician and a 100 year old war machine. They subconsciously shifted their weight to the back of their hells,preparing to draw their swords if they had too. He signed once again as he asked the question one more time.

"Are you recently married Lady Uzumaki?" His tone brooked no arguments as she quickly fired back at the elder man. "I'm sorry the number you are trying to reach is no longer in service please hang up or try again." Her attitude was very cocky as she smirked at the older beared crome dome.

"I take that as a no then, Lady Uzumaki." The elder said wanting a straight answer as he tried to maneuver the woman into a position of admitting it.

He didn't know she was one of those children that made the square block fit into that round whole by any means necessary.

"How about this, I ask a question you fill in the blanks with a yes or no. Very black and white, easy for one of your caliber." She said as she smiled that same Mona Lisa smile she was quickly becoming famous for.

"Fine, we will play it your way." Was the clipped response of the elder bearded man as his patience reached it's limit with the slippery female.

"When you get married what happens to the bride." Was the blonde's quick question she wanted out of here already she had several experiments left on a low burner at the lab.

"Anyone, common throw me a bone here. OK so no takers then, how about volunteers. OK you there with the Orange hair. Yeah you." The blond quickly pointed her finger at the dumb founded young man that was singled out, as he stupidly pointed at himself. "I can see why you died now." She said very quietly more to herself then to the captains that she was surround by.

"Uh, she goes and lives with him." Ichigo was at a loss he did not have any experience with this type of shit.

"Close but no banana. OK how about you there with the red pineapple hairdo." She swung her finger in the direction of a half strangled Renji that was choking on his own saliva as he was laughing so hard at Ichigo's plight. "Common Big Red, don't got all day here!"

"She gets pregnant." He said through a wheezing labored breath. "Naughty boy,get your head out of the gutter. But no your closer then Orange was."

"She takes his last name idiot!" Shouted the former 3rd seat of the 11th division Madarame Ikkaku, now temporary captain of the 7th division.

"Correct baldy, now lets put that altogether and what do we get children..."

"Um your name isn't Uzumaki any more correct?" The 7th captain proclaimed quite loudly before doubting himself into petering off at the end.

"Correct, My name is Naru Shunsui, I am no longer a Uzumaki. And it's all his fault!!!!!!!!" The blond shouted panting wildly as she pointed at her new husband.

"Um Love can we talk about this later..." Kyoraku held both hands up in a placating manner as not to anger the raging bull known as his new lovely wife.

"NO I WANT TO TALK TO YOU NOW!" the beautiful blond was fuming and red as a boiled lobster.

"But honey, we are in the middle of a meeting..."He tried to delay his inevitable demise.

"IT CAN WAIT! I NEED TO SPEAK TO YOU RIGHT THIS INSTANT, MISTER!" Naru turned her attention back on the group of captains that were now huddled on the other side of the room far away from her calling out to their mommies to save them. "Weird." Was all she said with a smirk as she dragged her husband out of the room, out the door and down the street by his hand as if he were a very badly behaved child.

Once both of them were clear of the 1st division's barracks she couldn't hold it in any long and dropped to her knees laughing so loudly she was crying drawing a few unnecessary stares.

"I take it you are not angry with me."Kyoraku asked the woman rolling around on the pavement still laughing at a prank well done.

"Naw, never was. You want to help me test out my experiment, I need an objective point of view." Even though it was a question he could tell she just wanted to apoligize in her own way and let her take the reins on this.

"Sure, they probable all think I'm being beaten to a pulp for being a pervert." He said it it the lazy playful tone of voice that she was starting to get used to.

She stood up dusting herself off as she looked at the man she had married and smiled sadly just for him and said, "I don't condone mindless violence. He who lives by the sword, will die by the sword. That much I know is true, even in death we are mindless animals all out for ourselves." She shook her head to dispel her momentary depression and smiled at him sincerely and asked, "flash step or walk?"

"To be honest walking sounds good. I know of the more unusual routes that would insure privacy and were we couldn't be easily monitored. Knowing them they will snap out of it in a few minutes. You didn't traumatize them badly enough."He tisked her with a wag of his finger in a universal language of you've been bad gesture. "Ok next, time I am going to be aiming for being a real bitch so when we divorce everyone will be glad I'm off the market for having a personality disorder and you will look even better for putting up with me which would mean, two things. Pity sex, or OMFG He can so like date me because I am high priority and all. Fucking Noobs."

"You are rather interesting." He said as he really looked at her for a few minutes before leading her towards his secret lair. Many twist and turns later Naru was a very lost and confused soul as she was yanked into a darkened alley way, and a hand quickly covered her mouth muffling her startled inhale of breath. A warm breath of air and gentle lips whispered upon the shell of her ear with a hot masculine voice struck a cord in her feminine core as he whispered, "Shh." She shifted back into the man behind her when she heard footsteps at the mouth of their hideout.

"Ichigo, have you found them yet?"The unmistakable voice of Kenpachi was heard sending an excited quiver down her spine, she felt more alive then she has been for centuries playing a high stakes game of hide and go seek.

Unfortunately she did not realize due to her naivety, that her close squirming presence and increase of pheromones due to excitement was affecting the male behind her that was holding her hostage.

She stopped wriggling as soon as she felt a very large and hard foreign object poke into her lower back. She slowly as not to draw any attention upon them, she turned and faced the man behind her and looked up into heavy lust filled gray eyes as curious blue eyes examed the man's face taking note of his enlarged pupils and labored breathing, and the cold sweat that he was breaking out with. Her eyes grew round as she recalled a book she was required to read a long time ago, telling her exactly what was wrong with the powerful man in front of her.

Pheromone Overdose. She was quite literally fucked.