A/N: This is my first Santa Barbara story and I am very nervous about it. It's also the first Santa Barbara story on this site. Wow! Are there still fans of this TV show? If so, remember SB's supercouple, Eden and Cruz? How about Julia ans Mason? Yeah, I figured you do. This is about their respective daughters, Adriana and Samantha, as they grow up, each struggling to be noticed by the people they love and trying to find their true selves in the process.

Chapter 1

She stood in front of the bathroom mirror a satisfied grin on her face. She was the only one in her family with blond hair. Nope, she used to be, because thanks to a tube of dark brown hair dye and with the help of her half-sister ... she had just solved that problem.

So, what if she was ten? Grown-ups were free to change their hair color at wish. Why wouldn't she? What, ten year old were stuck with a hair color they hated just because they were ten? Not me, she thought.

So what if her father would be mad? He should be grateful she didn't dye it ... pink. Yuck! Ugly color ...

All in all, the good thing about this was ... that her hair wasn't blond anymore.

With that in mind, she descended the stairs humming 'With Bells On', her favorite Christmas song.

"What in the name of God did you do to your hair?" her father's voice bellowed causing her to jump.

Uh - oh. Not good.

Mumps was a stupid disease. What eleven year old would get mumps? One with four younger monster siblings, who would do anything to ruin the holidays. They gave it to her! Because that was what they did best. Ruining things.

"Hey, pretty girl"

"Grandpa!" she shrieked with joy, but then her expression suddenly changed. "Don't get any closer! You might get it, too!" she warned.

"I had mumps when I was about the little terrors' age" he said smiling reassuringly.

He came closer and sat on the edge of her bed.

"Now, listen to this" he said "Mommy said you'll stop being contagious by New Year's Eve, so grandma and I were thinking maybe you'd like to spend it with us ..."

"You're flying to New York on New Year's Eve" she said and he nodded smiling. "And you want to take me?! Grandpa, I'd love to!" she said her entire face lighting up.

This was a good Christmas after all. And ... what a Christmas present! Maybe New York will have snow ... she thought, and 'Let It Snow' played in her mind over and over until she fell asleep that night.

May, 2004

Puerto Vallarta, Mexico

"My god, you'll be grounded for life", she heard her friend's voice as soon as she picked up.

"Um, yeah, probably" she shrugged. "Like I care"

"Well, when you won't be able to go to the beach party next week, you'll care"

"Mag, my bedroom has two windows" she giggled.

"Adri, you're the craziest person I know, I swear"

"Yeah, you'd pretend you don't know me at all if it weren't for my hot older brother, that you're not so secretly dreaming about" she said laughing.

"Don't be silly, you know I love you"

"Love you, too, Mags. I got to go, my grandma's calling, the jury must have reached a verdict" she said laughing even harder.

She hung up and looked around the room for something to do. She didn't have to go right away. Actually she did, but keeping them waiting would piss her father even more. She giggled then grabbed a comb and started brushing her hair.

She had silky blond hair falling smoothly over her shoulders matching her sea green eyes and tanned skin perfectly. Yep, beautiful hair, beautiful eyes, great body ... she could have been prom queen. But she wasn't. She didn't choose to be.

Adriana Castillo chose to be a rebel.

She could have been the perfect daughter, but instead she struggled to be her father's worse nightmare.

She hadn't always been like that. She used to be this sweet, happy little girl who loved her daddy to pieces. But as she grew up, the fact that she only had a daddy started to raise questions in her cute little head. Why didn't she have a mommy? All kids had, so why not she? Did she ever had one? She figured she did, since the teacher at school said that mommies were the ones bringing the babies into the world. So, that being settled, where was her mommy?

The only answer she got was that she did have a mother, but she was very sick and had to go away to get better.

Which meant she was coming back, right? Day after day she'd wait for her mother to come home. Christmas after Christmas she'd write Santa asking him to bring mommy home. However this had stopped once she found out that there was no Santa. She was nine. The waiting, though, continued for another few years. Eventually, she understood that 'mommy' wasn't coming back. Ever.

She tried hard to remember something about her. Anything. But she couldn't. Not even her face. She did have memories of people that weren't a part of her life anymore. She didn't dream much but when she did her dreams were filled with faces and voices she did not know. If she had believed in reincarnation she would have thought they were from another life. And in a way they were. A life her father decided to abandon when she was a toddler. Adriana knew that much.

She also knew that they used to live in Santa Barbara, California. She had heard her half-sister, Bianca, who still lived there, talking to her father about someone from there, but her father had told her that he didn't care about anything or anyone that had to do with that place. She put two and two together and concluded that something must have happened there ...

Any attempt to get her father or her grandmother talk about her mother failed. So Adriana decided not to care anymore.

She ended up in trouble and grounded most of the time but at least she made her presence felt. Her father noticed her.

"Where's Chipper?" Cruz Castillo asked his older daughter. "He needs to hear a few things, too. I can't believe he covered for her! Flying lessons?! Where the hell did she get that idea?" he bellowed.

"Where she gets every crazy idea she's ever had, that cute little head of hers" B.J. chuckled.

"You think it is funny? You only see her three times a year. Try living with her everyday. She'll drive you nuts" Cruz said shaking his head.

"You just don't get her, dad. She's ... confused. She feels like she doesn't fit in. Believe me, I know because I've been there, too"

"Oh, come on! It's not the same. You ... you suffered an emotional trauma. It's completely different" her father argued.

"Adriana is living her own emotional trauma" B.J. said quietly.

"Her own ... Adriana is a happy child. She has everything she wants!"

"Except for the one thing she always wanted. Her mother" B.J. said perfectly aware of the unhealed wounds that reopened every time someone mentioned her father's ex-wife.

She never knew Eden Castillo, Adriana's mother, but it was clear to her that her father had loved her beyond himself and when she left she broke his heart. Adriana herself was living proof of their love. They had been through a lot but their love had survived. Until thirteen years ago.

B.J. didn't know much about Eden's departure. Her father would never talk about it. Or about her, as a matter of fact. But ... people talk. Especially in a small community like Santa Barbara. So, B.J. did hear a few things over the years. But Adriana ... Adriana knew nothing about her mom. Except for the fact that she had been sick and had gone away to recover, something she had been told since she was five. B.J. felt sorry for her little sister. She had changed so much. The happy little girl she met years ago turned into an bitter teenager and that did not happen over night.

Their father didn't seem to understand that his way of protecting her was doing more harm than good.

"Well, she can't have her mother. None of us can. Don't you think I didn't want Eden back? I did. God knows I still do, but it's impossible. She made a choice and didn't ask any of us what we wanted. I'm angry, too, Bianca, but I've learned to deal with it" he said bitterly.

"Then why can't you understand Adriana? Why can't you help her? She has so many questions. How can you look into her eyes knowing that you have answers to all these questions but won't give them to her?" B.J. asked.

"I don't look into her eyes. I can't. It's like looking into her mother's. You'll think I'm an awful father but sometimes just seeing her around hurts. She looks so much like her, her eyes, her hair, the way she smiles ... She even likes the same things. Remember when I took her and Chip skiing, when they were little? Adriana was a natural. Just like her mother ... Flying lessons ..." he said and smiled "Did you know that Eden used to fly her own plane?"

"I ... I had no idea that ... she's so much like her ..." B.J. whispered.

"She is ... And you know, the reason I didn't go back to Santa Barbara was because it reminded me so much of Eden, of what we had, of how happy we used to be ... And now, it only takes one look at our daughter and everything comes back to me. And I can't understand how one can forget that. You say I don't want to help Adriana ... How can I tell her about the great love I shared with her mother when I, myself don't believe in it anymore?" ...

B.J. shook her head sadly and reached forward to wipe a lone tear of her father's cheek.

Neither of them heard the sound of rushed feet making their way back upstairs or the creak of Adriana's bed when she collapsed on it sobbing.

A/N: So this is it. Chapter One. Any question you might have will probably be answered in the next chapters, but you can still ask me in a review or PM. I'd like to know what you think. Thank you.

~ Saturnina ~