Title: sparkle sparkle this

Fandom: Twilight/Buffy the Vampire Slayer crossover

Disclaimer: not my characters

Warnings: AU for both series? I dunno. This is just a small slice of crack.

Rating: PG

Wordcount: 150

Point of view: third

Prompt: Twilight/any fandom with vampires, any characters, "sparkle, sparkle"

"You bloody wankers give our whole species a bad name," the intruder hissed, face ugly and wrinkled, his canine teeth protruding from his mouth. "The whole lot of you, prancin' around in daylight, all 'sparkle sparkle this' and 'sparkle sparkle that', like you're bloody tamed or somethin'. It makes me sick."

Edward cocked his head to the side and listened. "You don't have a heartbeat," he noted.

The intruder blinked. "That's what you pick up on?" he demands after a moment. "You're a moron. I should kill you just—for slander! That's it." He grinned and nodded.

Edward backed up a step. "Wait," he said. "Surely we can discuss this?"

The fangs and wrinkles melted back into the intruder's face and he shook his head. "Nope. Gonna have to show you what a proper vampire is like, boyo."

Edward spun around and ran.

He didn't run fast enough.