The Killer Left Signs And Other Stories
Since I rewrote my other two stories, I thought I might as well Do these as well, and maybe more stories to the collection. Well, enjoy my lovely people.
Hassleberry was in a park that had somehow appeared on Duel academy island, and for some reason was the desk man for a cheesy news flash.
Hassleberry pulled a serious face into the camera, "We interrupt this program to bring you an important news flash. Overnight a new terrorist group called the Hell Grannies has sprung into the public eye. We know go over to Alexis in the field."
The scene cut over to Alexis standing on a path next to a big muddy mound of dirt.
"Thank you, Hassleberry. Our sources have informed us that the Hell Grannies are a criminal organisation of old women intent on world domination (what villain isn't?), and have set their sights on attacking random young people in the hope of attracting supporters for their cause, most likely fellow elderly citizens," Alexis said with a degree of professionalism.
An old woman walked past the camera Alexis was talking to. She walked slowly, with a Zimmer frame helping her move along. At the same time Jaden walked towards the old lady, absent mindedly whistling the Mew mew theme song as he wandered on.
As Jaden got closer to the women, her eyes gleamed. When she was right next to him, she lifted up her Zimmer frame and swung it at Jaden with full force, "HA!!!!!" she screamed, still whacking him with it.
"URGH!" Jaden groaned, after getting hit in the stomach, and falling flat on his face. The Granny posed triumphantly over Jaden's body.
"A classic example of a Granny attack."
"Alexis, can you tell us why exactly the Grannies are rebelling?" Hassleberry asked.
Alexis strolled along the path she was filming on whilst talking to the camera, "Politicians have a theory that the decline in daytime TV programming and excess caffeine and sports drinks have started the feud, the U.N congress will be discussing it in their next meeting on Mond......AAAYYYYYYYYYY!" She screamed, as she fell down a giant manhole that she had failed to notice before
The camera zoomed in on her body sprawled across the ground in a painful looking manor.
"HELL GRANNIES GO!" Came the cries of a group of motorcycle clad Grandma's speeding over the mud mound, spraying the camera crew with mud as they rode, laughing, into the horizon.
"Cough cough, as you can see, cough , action must, cough, taken against the hell Grannies, cough cough," Alexis choked as dust polluted her air in the hole.
The scene went back to Hassleberry in the park.
"This is Hassleberry, advising you not to go anywhere near old people's homes, crowded areas, Caravan Parks or supermarket cafes at lunchtimes. Please take care."
And done. I know you want to click the review button, it's right there! Please!