I am crying for you
By Miss P
Summary: Of course imprinting on a bloodsucker would mean trouble, but I'd never imagined it would be this hard. Jacob/Victoria
Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight
AN: The story is based on the song "The things we owe, by Takida."
Written in Jacob's POV
I'd always believed that imprinting would ease your mind. That everything would be clear, and you would feel overwhelmed by happiness and bliss. I couldn't have been more wrong. Of course, the object of my imprint wasn't normal for a wolf. No, of course I had to be the black sheep, the only wolf in history that imprints on a bloodsucker.
I'm sure you can see why that complicates things. But now when I've finally come to terms with what I've fallen for, my biggest problem is her feelings. Or the lack thereof. She is… hollow, an empty shell, incapable of feeling love or any other feelings beside hate and bitterness. It's not her fault though; she can't help what she has become. And it's impossible for me to feel anything but sympathy for her. I love her, but not in the way a man loves a woman. Not yet, right now all that matters for me is to make sure she is safe. I would do anything to help her feel better. To help her feel again, at all…
But I can't get near her. She always escapes. I have told her that I don't want to hurt her, and I'm sure she knows I am telling the truth. But she won't let me come to close. As I'm watching her, from a safe distance, she is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. My beautiful, beautiful imprint. My Victoria.
I desperately want to believe that she could feel something for me. Even though she isn't aware of it, because if she did, it meant there was still hope.
As I watch her I feel sadness overwhelm me again. It felt as if I could see straight through her, into her damaged soul. She was broken and cold. It was like she had given up on life completely. It wasn't that she didn't want to love, she couldn't. Not anymore. Maybe if I had met her a few years back, something could have been different for us. But I was too late; it was too late for her.
I couldn't be with her, the way my body and soul so desperately wanted to, but I could make sure she was never alone. I wanted her to know that I was always there, in the distance watching over her.
A single tear slipped down my cheek and I didn't care to wipe it away. It wasn't the first time I was crying. But the tears weren't products of my own pain. I was crying for her.
I watched her as she walked up to the edge of the cliff and stopped, looking out over the dark ocean. Her red hair whipped around her face like a burning fire. Other than the hair, she was completely motionless there she stood. I watched her closely, wanting to memorize every precious detail of her body.
So many memories, so much pain, it wasn't fair that one girl would have to endure so much on her own. She was trapped in her past, bound by the life she once had, an unrequited love, forever gone.
She suddenly turned her head, looking straight at me. A few seconds, our eyes met. I could see her flinch, but at least she didn't run.
"It's okay, I could never hurt you," I repeated the sentence I'd spoken so many times. I took a slow step toward her. A low hiss escaped her bared teeth, but she didn't move. I tried a few more steps, and she growled, backing away so fast I was afraid she would fall off the cliff. For a moment I could see hesitation in her mesmerizing red eyes, but it went away so fast I wasn't sure it had been there at all. I searched her face for any sign of emotion, but there was nothing there. Nothing but pain and emptiness.
"Victoria," my voice was pleading. I reached out for her… and she fled. I ran to the edge, just in time to see her dive into the roaring water far below. My heart ached for her; new tears filled my eyes as I stared at the ocean waiting for her to resurface.
I would never give up on her. Never. I would give everything I had, and more, just to heal her.
The scars reveal the hidden place deep down in you
Like a shadow from the past and nothing is true
A reflection from a dejected face, it comes to
Memories will last, I am crying for you,
I am crying
I'll give my own time
I'll give my whole life
I'll give my only light
Just to heal you