Written as a birthday present to my Bones, my T'hy'la, my Sam. Slight Crack.
"There goes our two million credit underwater shuttlecraft." Kirk commented as bubbles could be heard not more than two meters from their position.
Two hours later
Spock peered into the darkness wishing, for the three-hundred and forty-first time, that he possessed a tricorder.
Rolling fog circled the rock he sat upon with only his captain for company. Jim shivered, rubbing his hands up and down to create a small bit of warmth.
They'd been stranded for two hours and naught a word from the Enterprise.
"What do you think is causing the interference?" Jim asked, not for the first time.
"As I said Captain, I do not know. The fog may be masking our life signatures, the Enterprise may be experiencing an ion storm, or perhaps Scotty is too inebriated to run the ship, all of which would be detrimental to our rescue."
"No need to get sarcastic. What are the odds of those events, Mr. Spock?"
"Fog would be a three hundred, twenty-five to two; the ion storm would be two hundred eighty-nine to forty to one… and Mr. Scott would be forty-one to two."
"I have no idea what those mean."
"In order of likelihood, Mr. Scott would come first, the ion storm second and the fog, third."
"Then why didn't you report them in that order."
"…" Spock opted for silence.
"I know you're as frustrated with this as I am but there's got to be something productive we can do. Some kind of signal we could send."
"Without our communicators or our tricorders, I don't see how."
"We have our phasers. What if we shot them in succession every ten minutes? Would that be enough to get their attention?"
"The odds that the Enterprise would be looking for phaser fire is highly unlikely, such an event would be minuscule, especially since the phasers range would barely reach beyond the troposphere. Given the likelihood of Mr. Scott's inebriation, the odds would be two thousand, three hundred sixty two to eight to one."
"Is there any way you can boost the phaser's range?"
"Not without the aided circuitry of my tricorder." Spock gave another Vulcan-like sigh. Three-hundred and forty-two.
The rock they were on was three meters in diameter and only another meter wide. They were surrounded by water, or some other low-viscous like substance that was home to the largest underwater creature known to this galaxy. Their mission, supposedly exploratory and relatively harmless, landed them on this rock. .
In either direction fog blocked their view and Spock logically concluded that they should remain put until the planet's sister moon rose six hours from their abandonment.
Spock reasoned that the extra light would give them a better prediction of which direction to swim. Until then.
Kirk heard a splash from his left and scrambled to his feet. If that were the creature, they would have no defense but their phasers.
Spock similarly trained his weapon into the darkness and waited. The fog swirled, disrupted by some unknown thing.
Neither officer moved for two minutes, silently waiting.
The fog shifted under further agitation, sucking away to reveal a small beak and beady black eyes.
What humans would relate to as a duck.
"I'm still tempted to fire." Jim commented his weapon loosening in his hand and relief washing over him.
Another two hours later
"Could you ever cannibalize someone Mr. Spock. I mean… if you had to." The captain had been asking ridiculous lines of questioning ever since he had become bored and reluctant to admit that a tiny waterfowl frightened him.
"No," had been Spock's typical response for the past twenty-eight questions.
"I think I could. I mean the very idea is revolting to me, but suppose under certain circumstances a living being is virtually trained to execute whatever innate measures are necessary to ensure its survival. I would imagine I am no different."
"Sir. With all due respect, be silent, less you are about to warn me of any innate measures you'll be taking in the near future."
"I wouldn't eat you Mr. Spock. Your musculature is probably too tough to chew through anyways."
Kirk was sure he heard the Vulcan give an exasperated response.
Suddenly, a louder splashing sound occurred, vicious and tumultuous. Kirk quickly scrambled to his feet and reset his phaser.
"That aint no duck." He exclaimed waiting calming, patiently. The sound of water flinging into the air stirred the captain's senses. Unconsciously he gripped at Spock's arm and squeezed.
Eventually a light blasted the pair in the eyes. Spock's inner eyelid blinked twice then settled.
"Aye, we found them!" Scott's voice rang like glittering chimes through a spring breeze.
Scotty manned something like their underwater shuttle, only it was smaller and more mobile.
He helped the Captain and Mr. Spock aboard before escorting them back to shore.
He drove the device from water to land and parked it inside a larger shuttlecraft.
"Where did you get this?" Kirk asked, looking over the design and model of both crafts.
"Well the ion storm was makin' transportation a tad difficult so we rented it from the nearest space station."
"This ship has a transportation pad, why didn't you beam us up when you cleared the storm?"
"Well that's the thing; the fog seemed ta be maskin' your life signatures. So, we had ta delivery you personally."
"How did you know where to find us?"
"We tracked your underwater crafts last position, and wahlah!"
Kirk settled next to Spock in the front end of the shuttlecraft.
"Did you smell his breath… what are the odds Mr. Spock?"
"Three hundred, twenty-five to two hundred eighty-nine to forty to one to forty-one to two."
"Three hundred, twenty-five to two hundred eighty-nine to two." Kirk tried to recount.
"No, Three hundred, twenty-five to two hundred eighty-nine to forty to one to forty-one to—
"Improbable." Spock corrected.
As soon as they were back on the ship and out of general earshot Kirk leaned into Spock's personal space and whispered in his ear.
"I thought you should know, I feel like taking some 'innate measures'. Care to join me Mr. Spock?" Jim opened his mouth and took an emerald tip between his teeth.
Spock watched as his captain saunter towards the officers' cabins, two perfect mounds shifting their weight from side to side…
Once he disappeared, Spock followed.