Disclaimer - I do not own D Gray Man nor any of it's wonderful characters. That honor goes to Hoshino-sensei.
Chapter One - Setting Sun
Alone in my room all I can think about are the words that Master Cross just spoke to me. The bit of information that I had never known about my foster father and the family that he had lost. Mana, the person whom I cared for above all others, had a brother. A Noah. A Noah whose memories I harbor.
Completely consumed by these thoughts I barely notice the fact that I'm now sitting on the edge of the bed. Hell at this point I'm not even sure how I ended up back at my room although I would imagine that the guards had something to do with it. And if I were to stick my head out I'm sure that I would find them standing on either side of the door.
Good little soldiers guarding the one who might be a threat to the Order.
Practically overnight I've gone from being trusted as an Exorcist to being feared as the one who harbors the memories of the Fourteenth. Despite myself I chuckle softly under my breath. The situation is serious but I can't help but think about the reactions of some of my fellow Exorcists.
Lenalee, Lavi, BaKanda…
They won't think that I pose a threat. Of that I'm certain. But of course it doesn't really matter what they think.
The only people whose opinions about me matter are the higher ups. The ones who have came from Central to decide my fate.
Almost without conscious thought I gaze down at the talismans that surround my left arm. They felt the need to seal my Innocence until the higher ups determine just how much of a threat I pose.
Or at least that's what I was told at the time.
Not that it really matters. My head is still reeling from the words spoken to me by Master Cross and using my Innocence, for any purpose, is the last thing on my mind. He told me that when I become the Fourteenth I'm going to kill someone that I love.
But I have vowed to myself that this will not happen.
Glancing toward the window, out of habit, I see a familiar shadow. Ever since I stepped foot inside that secret room in the Ark I have been plagued by his presence. Ever grinning and seeming to know something that no one else is aware of. Or at least that's the impression that he gives me.
And I hate it.
I don't understand why this had to happen to me when so many things have already gone wrong in my life. First I was cast aside by my parents, for having been born with this arm, and then Mana was taken from me. When I had finally found a measure of happiness.
Thinking about Mana causes unshed tears to begin to sting my eyes. Finding out that he was the Noah's brother had been the hardest part of this ordeal; even worse than finding out that I was his chosen host. Because it brought doubts to my mind that I have never had before.
Shook the resolve that I have always carried; the strength that his parting words have offered me.
Until the point when Master Cross spoke those words I had always looked to Mana for the strength to keep moving forward. It was for him that I had embraced the life of an Exorcist; to atone for what I had done to him.
The mistake that I had made.
Which made the knowledge that he may not have actually loved ME, the real me, all the more unbearable.
"Give in to me… Submit and the pain will all go away."
I can feel my eyes widening as my head whips around to stare at the grinning figure reflected in the window. This is the first time, out side of the Ark, that I have heard his voice. And the words seem to echo in my mind, calling out to me to just give in.
Telling me in an almost soothing tone that things would be much better if I would only give in.
Quickly averting my gaze I grasp my head with my right hand; the hand that I can still move. The seal placed upon my left is an inconvenience but not my top priority at the moment. I don't want to listen to the thoughts echoing in my mind… his thoughts. I just want things to go back to the way that they were before.
I want to resume my duties as an Exorcist. Desperately I wish to continue my task of freeing the Akuma. Even at this point, faced with the charge of heresy, I feel the desperate pull of the trapped souls.
The call to free them from their torment.
My sole purpose is to free them from their torment. That's all I want but I'm trapped here, doing nothing. I feel the frustration build as I dwell upon this fact. The threat of death scares me, I cannot deny this fact, but it's not at the top of the list of things I'm worried about. I've been warned that, should the Order deem me a threat, I will be executed. I'm not happy about that pronouncement but every time that I dwell on it I am reminded of Master Cross' words.
"I wonder what you would think if I were to tell you that you will have to kill someone that you love when you become the Fourteenth."
If that's the cruel destiny that fate has in store for me then I would rather be executed. Better for me to die than any of the others. The faces of those I have come to look upon as family flash briefly before my eyes.
Only to be replaced by the ever grinning shadow. The shadow of the Fourteenth. A shadow that I've grown used to seeing, although it still sends a shiver down my spine.
He's always staring over my shoulder, like a spider laying in wait. I know that he's waiting for a moment of weakness on my part and, clenching my right hand into a fist, I vow that he will not win.
"It's pointless to fight child. You can suppress me now, for which I applaud you, but it cannot last. I will win."
I'm well aware of the fact that this is my voice; I'm the only one in the room. But it doesn't sound like my voice. It sounds… colder. Was he maybe already getting to me?
Glancing out the window, beyond his grinning form, I see that the sun is beginning to set.
A/N - and here's the beginning of a dark little fic, in which Allen is eventually consumed by the Noah within. Be kind and leave a review!