Title: A Number Of Attempts At Bringing Penny Into The Fold Of Geekdom, With Varying Success
Series: Big Bang Theory
Character/pairing: Leonard/Penny, jokes of Howard/Raj, but no more than canon.
Summary: Leonard attempts to share the joys of comic books and Star Wars with Penny.
Author's note: Yuletide treats, Museinspiration asked for Leonard/Penny and I responed. Sort of. It's more humor than out and out fluff. Full frontal Marvel Nerdity contained inside.
"We're going to marathon Star Wars this weekend, but only the regular and the second sequel as Sheldon insists the first two don't exist," Leonard said.
She kissed him. "Have fun."
"Well, I uh. I think everyone should watch Star Wars once in their life. So, if you'd like to join us..."
She put a hand on her hip. It was a very nice hip. "You're trying to bring me into the fold?"
"Well, you wouldn't have to get in the gold bikini Princess Leia wore and go with us to conventions – at least, not unless you iwanted/I to..."
"Not a chance," she said, in that too-sweet sardonic way of hers.
"I didn't think so, yeah," Leonard said. He laughed a little, and grinned awkwardly at her.
Penny tapped her lower lip. "I suppose I would..."
Leonard brightened. "You would?"
"Only if you watch The Notebook with me."
Leonard mulled this over a bit. "I suppose it wouldn't be that bad...."
And that was how the beginnings of Chick Flick Friday came about.
Penny was out on a thing, work thing or something, which meant that The Circle Of The Thai Food Planning was summarily brought about. Sheldon was in his spot, as always. Howard and Raj were side by side, edging each other out for entrees.
Leonard, on the other hand, was staring into his food as if deep, monumentous thoughts (and planning) were to come.
"I vote for repealing The Ordinance for the sake of getting Penny to see the beauty of comics," he said finally.
Sheldon looked shocked. Raj gasped audibly while Howard gaped.
"Absolutely not." Sheldon said
"I'm just saying–"
"Leonard we have talked about this. We are not speaking of that evil," Sheldon snapped. He looked around the room quickly, as if said evil might be watching, waiting in any corner to strike.
"If Penny were to get into comics this way, it might mitigate the travesty that is the Ultimate line–"
Sheldon twitched. "It is not to be mentioned by name! It is an evil conspiracy and should be thrown into the sun."
"Wait, The Ordinance was about comics? I thought we talking about something else entirely," Howard said.
"We must have been out that day," Raj said.
"Then why were you gaping?" Leonard said.
"It seemed the appropriate thing to do!" Raj said.
"Besides, Ultimate Spiderman was good. So was Ultimate Fantastic Four," Howard interjected.
"Don't forget Ultimate Xmen," Raj said.
"Ultimate Xmen was a farce. The pacing was off and Beast, who is supposed to be highly intelligent was beaten by The Blob in an internet chatroom which is a plot twist so inane that it defies all logic," Sheldon said.
"Yeah, but Colossus was amazing there. He lifted a whole Submarine with his bare hands! And I happen to think his pining after Wolverine and subsequent romance with Northstar was very well done."
They all stared at Raj a long moment.
"What?" Raj said.
"Well, if we can't do that, then there's got to be another series which might be more accessible to her."
Leonard got up in a very Determined way, and made his way to the door.
"If it involves The Ultimates in any way shape or form, I am never speaking to you again, Leonard. I just want to be clear on that," Sheldon said. "And not the line in general, that crime that was their take on The Avengers. They made Thor into a Hippie New Age Jesus, which is not only offensive to Jesus, but Thor. Thor is a Norse god! They abhor pascifism! Their motto was 'turn the other cheek as you slay your enemies in a vicious bloodbath' – though that is paraphrased from the Norse. And don't even get me started on what they did to Hawkeye."
"I think I need to call on a higher authority," Leonard said. He grabbed his coat, which was more habitual than need n California weather. Leonard was nothing if not a man of habits. Sheldon had trained him well in that respect.
"Captain America?" Howard asked.
"Actually, I was thinking Karolina Dean," Leonard said. "But the Superhero swimsuit issues and Spider man were next on the list."
Howard groaned. "Karolinaaaa. Man, I'd make her Mrs. Wolowitz in a minute. A second. A milisecond. We'd have sparkly alien child and rule over the planet as benevolent, yet firm masters."
Raj snorted. "She plays for the other team, and she'd kick your ass at baseball."
"In this fantasy I'm a shape-changing alien," Howard informed him.
Leonard shut the door behind him and the sound of Raj, Howard, and now Sheldon's comic book fantasies was rendered indiscernible.
"I bought you something while I was at the comic book store," Leonard said a bit shyly.
"Oh joy," Penny said with a sardonic smile. On her it looked even a bit sweet, fond and affectionate, really.
"Well, I guess you don't have to if you don't want to – but I'd really like if you gave them a look."
She plucked out the first one from the bag.
"Young Avengers?" She said, with a raised eyebrow.
"Yeah, I got a copy or two of Runaways too. I thought you might like them."
Penny shrugged and set it aside. "I guess."
"Well, I suppose you don't if you really don't want to–"
She kissed him quiet. They lingered there, a long moment, until she broke free and looked at the comic again.
"If it means so much to you, I'll try your Young Vigilantes or something."
"Avengers," Leonard said, cringing slightly.
"Whichever," she said with a shrug.
It took a few days for it all to set in. Apparently, she was busy. Or she read slowly. Or something. The boys watched her for signs of getting their humor, to seemingly no avail. Until that day. Raj and Howard had been horsing around, teasing each other like always. Howard poked Raj after a game of Klingon Boggle and shared a secret laugh together.
Penny smiled wide.
"I see you two are getting along well," she said pointedly.
"Well, we're best friends. We do tend to get along well," Howard said. Raj nodded mutely after him.
"So... you read it?" Leonard said hopefully.
"I read the thingamabob about the Avengers? I was confused, but Billy and Teddy were adorable. There just might be something to this comic book thing."
Raj, Howard and Sheldon froze, while Leonard seemed far less phased. He just kept on babbling away.
"You should try the Runaways I gave you too -- they had a great crossover with The Young Avengers during the Civil War. Though Sheldon doesn't like to talk about the Civil War."
"Civil War? You mean Abe Lincoln and stuff?"
"No, it was between superheroes. There was this faction after an explosion caused all superheroes to be tagged and stuff and Captain America went underground. You really have to read it to see," Leonard said.
"And Tony Stark was completely out of character. It was an author filibuster on so many forms of government that it was quite simply, a mess that I like to pretend didn't happen," Sheldon interjected.
"But the crossover with the Young Avengers and the Runaways was cute," Leonard said.
"Granted, but 'cute' does not forgive horrible writing," Sheldon said.
"Not even when Molly and Tommy bonded and frolicked in meadows together?" Leonard said.
Sheldon's pursed his lips. "Their adorable frolicking is beside the point!"
"Yeah, this is all nice, but I have to go help Amy at work. Moving and all .Bye, guys," Penny said. She had a special smile for Raj and Howard. And it wasn't the kind of special smile women gave when they wanted to sleep with someone. It was an 'aww, look at that cute puppy' sort of smile. Except the puppy was sparkly and dressed in pink fur.
It was all so clear.
"You turned your girlfriend into a slash fan!" Howard hissed. "It's bad enough that your mother thinks I'm gay, now Penny is going to be giving me the 'thumbs up on your alternative lifestyle' every time I go near Raj!"
"She did assume that we were lovers and found it 'cute' when we first met her," Sheldon intoned. His voice was monotone, lacking the panic that Howard had. "Thus it logically follows that she would become a future slash fan."
Raj clapped Howard on the shoulder. "Well, it looks like we're screwed. We might as well move to Castro and get a little dog while we're at it." Unlike Howard, Raj was more comfortable with his big gay future sponsored by more and more of Leonard's closest.
"Hey, hey, hey now. I have a girlfriend!" Howard protested.
"Yes, his 'girlfriend', Alberta who lives in Vancouver," Leonard said.
"Her name is Bernadette!"
Star Wars marathoning was always a Big Deal at their apartment. It was often preceded by light saber battles, mentions of 'the force', and possible debates involving Boba Fett and Han Solo. Penny stared at them much like one would stare at a group of mimes grinding together, or a fascinating tribal dance somewhere deep in Africa. While Sheldon, Raj and Howard stared fascinated at the screen, and cheered in all the appropriate places, Leonard kept shifting his eyes back to Penny.
When it was done, Raj and Howard and Sheldon leaned back in a calm that was almost post-coital, though only two of the three would even know (or care) what that meant. Star Wars just had that kind of power on them.
"So?" Leonard said hopefully.
"It was...something, all right," Penny said.
"Well, the Ewoks were really cute," she admitted.
"That's a start," Leonard said. "You know something as great as Star Wars needs multiple viewings to 'get' it. Like fine art, or wine."
"Sure honey. Now, my turn! Amy was talking about this cute dvd called The Jane Austen Book Club. – I forgot that I lent my copy of The Notebook out to her, and well–" she smiled, lopsided and ended like that. Sheldon looked as if he was twitching from split infinitives, or some other gross misuse of grammar, and Leonard wouldn't be surprised if he was.
"Yeah, Raj and I, we've got this thing we have to do–"
Raj furiously whispered in his ear.
"That didn't sound gay!" Howard protested. "It was perfectly innocent and probably involved attempts at getting drunk girls to sleep with us. We'd do shots off their naked stomachs and everything!"
"Actually, it did," Sheldon said flatly. His face was blank, expressionless save for his default state of disinterested condescension. "I distinctly heard something involving 'continuing this outside'. You see, I have super hearing."
Raj and Howard stared at him. "What?!"
Sheldon grinned. It was a frightening. thing.
"Bazinga. That was a joke, see."
"This is nice and all, but I watched your movie, and you have to watch mine," Penny said with a sardonic grin. "Superheroes stick together, right?"
"The Dungeon's Master's girlfriend has spoken," Leonard said with a grin. He settled in and put his arm over the couch. She nestled in close to him as the previews started.
Sheldon snorted. "Everyone knows I'm the dungeon master," he muttered sullenly.
Despite their earlier attempts to escape, Raj and Howard became much more interested once they realized that the movie contained 1. Hot ,Lesbians and 2. Emily Blunt. By the time the endearing, yet handsome Sci-Fi geek, Grig came on and found love, they were sold. Even when Penny casually mentioned possibly marathoning the Jane Austen movies, they managed to not break into hives. Mostly because Pride and Prejudice had Keira Knightly, and if nothing, they could always spend the entire time picturing her naked.
"I think we all learned a learned a valuable lesson here," Penny said as the credits closed.
"Does this mean there's any chance of you going to Comiccon with us?" Howard said. "Possibly in a gold bi–"
"Not a chance, Howard," Penny said.
It was just different when Leonard said it.
"It looks like you'll have to play Leia again, Raj," Sheldon said. Raj (and Howard) shot him a shocked/appalled/omg/wtf/bbq look.
"Bazinga," Sheldon said with a terrifying grin.