Disclaimer: I don't own RENT and I never will
Mark walked in the loft door after he spent most of the afternoon filming. When Mark got home he saw a rather surprising scene. His Roommate and best friend Roger was watching TV but it didn't surprise him that Roger was watching TV what surprised Mark is what Roger was watching on the TV.
"Roger?" Mark said getting his Roommates attention "Are you watching what I think you're watching?"
"Yes I am" Roger said with a smile "It's just starting so you made it just in time!"
"You actually want me to sit and watch this with you?" Mark asked him looking confused but sat down on the couch with Roger
"Uh-Huh" Roger simply told him
"Dora the explorer?" Mark asked still in disbelief
"I watch it every day!" Roger said happily "You just never see me watching it because you're not usually home at this time of the day"
"So you like Dora?" Mark asked with a smirk
"No" Roger told him "I hate that bitch! She annoys me so bad!"
"So why exactly do you watch it?" Mark asked as Dora's theme song ended and Dora appeared on TV
"Just to tell her I know my shit" Roger told him "She always acts like I'm an idiot! I mean you don't treat your viewers like that!"
"HOLA!" Dora yelled very loudly "I'M DORA AND THIS IS MY FRIEND BOOTS!"
"I KNOW!" Roger yelled "YOU SAY IT EVERY DAY! AND VARIOUS TIMES THROUGHOUT THE SHOW!"
"Oh wow Roger…." Was all Mark could say as he looked at Roger who's eyes were glued angrily to the TV
"WE NEED TO GET TO ICE CREAM CONE ISLAND!" Dora yelled loudly
"But Dora!" Boots said rather loudly yet still not as loud as Dora "How are we going to get to ice cream cone Island?"
"WHO DO WE ASK FOR HELP WE DON'T KNOW WHICH WAY TO GO?" Dora screamed at the viewing Audience which in this case is Roger and poor Mark
"The map" Roger told her ever so calmly
"THE MAP THAT'S RIGHT!" Dora yelled loudly so that everyone who lived in the loft on any floor could most likely hear her
"I told you!" Roger shouted "The map always helps your dumbass when you get lost! You always manage to do it too! Be glad I wasn't raising you! You wouldn't be going on any damn adventures with a monkey!"
" She can't actually hear you…." Mark told him "Her yelling is giving me a headache though maybe you should turn it off"
"Oh no Mark!" Roger told him "This dumb bitch needs me to help her find her way!"
"She has that monkey though" Mark reminded him
"Yeah and it doesn't wear clothes" Roger informed his friend "What the hell is wrong with the monkey? I mean is she just an idiot and doesn't realize her best friend is a naked"
Dora then started walking down this animated fake looking world on TV as Roger and Mark just watched The just made it past the first of 3 places they needed to stop and they were celebrating that they made it this far.
"WE MADE IT PAST THE CHOCOLATE SWAMP!" Dora yelled "NEXT WE NEED TO FIND THE VANILLA COOKIE BRIDGE! DO YOU SEE THE BRIDGE?"
"A chocolate swamp?" Mark asked "Really? What are they teaching kids? Is that Dora girl Blind Roger? The bridge takes up half of the TV screen…."
"I hope she falls off that Bridge…." Roger told Mark "She shouldn't walk on a cookie Bridge….If I saw a cookie bridge I would not walk on it"
"If you saw a cookie bridge I would question your sanity" Mark told him
"Would you ever walk on a cookie Bridge Mark?" Roger asked "I mean if one existed and all….."
"No" Mark simply replied "If there is a cookie bridge then it's most likely surrounded by a lake or ocean of milk and I don't want to drown in milk"
"DO YOU SEE THE BRIDGE?" Dora shouted again ending Mark and Rogers's cookie chat
"YES WE SEE THE STUPID BRIDGE!" Roger yelled "TURN THE FUCK AROUND AND MAYBE YOU COULD SEE IT TOO!"
"WHERES THE VANILLA COOKIE BRIDGE?" Dora Yelled
"I JUST TOLD YOU!" Roger yelled "Turn around!"
"BEHIND US???" Dora shouted as she finally got the message
"Yes!" Roger told her as he pointed to the stupid bridge from the couch
"At least she finally noticed the bridge…." Mark told Roger
Once Dora and Boots finally got to the Vanilla Cookie Bridge boots said the obvious
"Dora! Dora! That Cookie Bridge looks reaaalllyyyy unsafe!" Boots said looking depressed
"I KNOW BOOTS!" Dora Said/Shouted "IF WE WALK ON THAT THEN WE WILL FALL OFF!"
"I KNEW IT!" Roger yelled "Didn't I tell ya Mark? I told you that bridge was unsafe!"
"Actually you just said you wouldn't walk on the bridge" Mark corrected him "You said nothing about it being unsafe"
"I think that goes without saying Mark!" Roger told him "I mean c'mon I think if I walked on a cookie bridge then It would cave in and I would fall"
"Then possibly drown in the milky lake or ocean" Mark added in
"MAYBE I HAVE SOMETHING IN MY BACKPACK TO HELP US!" Dora said/Shouted yet again
"Is she really going to attempt to fix the stupid cookie bridge?" Mark asked "I mean what if it rains? Then it will be a soggy cookie and then it would fall apart! So does that mean it like never rains there?"
"I NEED YOUR HELP!" Dora once again shouted/said so loudly you would think she would lose her voice "SAY BACKPACK!"
"Backpack" Roger said
"SAY BACKPACK SAY BACKBACK!" Boots yelled
"I JUST SAID IT" Roger shouted at them
"BACKBACK!" Dora and boots both shouted
"Why the hell does she want people to shout backpack?" Mark asked "Why can't she just take the backpack off and open it like a normal person?"
"Because she's a moron" Roger simply told him as Dora pulled out 3 balloons
"THANKS FOR HELPING ME SAY BACKPACK!" Dora Shouted/said
"What are the Balloons for Dora??!!" Boots asked/shouted
"WERE GOING TO BLOW THEM UP AND FLOAT OVER THE VANILLA COOKIE BRIDGE!" Dora Shouted/said "HERE ONE FOR ME AND ONE FOR BOOTS AND ONE FOR YOU!"
"Hellloooo!" Roger yelled "I have a friend with me today! I need 2 of those Balloons! Do you expect me and Mark to hang on to each other and float safely across that?"
"The better question is does she actually think that plan will work?" Mark asked "I bet it will since there is only about 10 minutes left though….she's really misleading kids"
Dora and boots along with the audience safely floated over the bridge and everyone cheered ever so happily
"WE MADE IT PAST CHOCOLATE SWAMP AND THE VANILLA COOKIE BRIDGE!" Dora said/shouted "SO NEXT IS ICE CREAM CONE ISLAND!"
"WAIT!" Dora yelled/said "DO YOU HEAR THAT?? THAT SOUNDS LIKE SWIPER THE FOX!"
"That sneaky fox is always trying to swipe our stuff!" Boots added "Dora he's gonna try to take my boots!"
"How do they know what Swiper sounds like?" Mark asked "It could be a rapist or a killer…."
"Please be a killer!" Roger begged as Swiper appeared on screen "Dammit Mark we were wrong"
"Why are they assuming he wants the boots?" Mark asked "I would have taken the money"
"I know really!" Roger agreed "Like what if he's not the same size shoe?"
"SAY SWIPER NO SWIPING!" Dora said/shouted as Dora and Boots both screamed "SWIPER NO SWIPING! SWIPER NO SWIPING! SWIPER NO SWIPING!"
"Oh Man" Swiper said as he ran away
"WHAT THE FUCK?" Mark asked "Like that would do any good in the real world"
"Seriously" Roger agreed "I would have taken her shit anyway"
Dora and Boots then got ice cream from an ice cream truck and then they started singing a song about how they did it so well
"YOU COULDN'T HAVE DONE ANY OF THAT WITHOUT OUR HELP!" Roger shouted "DON'T TAKE ALL THE CREDIT!"
"Why couldn't she have just went to the store and bought some?" Mark asked "It would have saved a lot of time then going to some island"
"WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE PART?" Dora then yelled/shouted/said as she stared directly at everyone from the screen
"Well I didn't like how you cross the bridge but I would have to go with the chocolate swamp I mean a cho—" Roger said Dora cut him off
"I LIKE THAT TOO!" Dora shouted as Boots nodded
"LET ME FINISH!" Roger yelled "OH GOD MARK! CAN YOU BELIEVE HER?"
"I must admit that was rather rude" Mark told him "At least it's over and were at the end credits"
"Are you gonna stay?" Roger asked
"For what?" Mark asked him
"Blues Clues" Roger told him "He needs my help too!"
"Eh….Why not" Mark said as he stayed seated next to Roger and the Blues Clues theme song started to play