I don't own Twilight.
I am sitting at my piano looking out the window, watching Bella as she walks through the wild flowers, stopping to pick one now and then. She is smiling and turning her face up towards the sun, a rare treat.
She looks beautiful, her long white dress falls loosely around her body and her skin and hair and eyes sparkle. She is in the early stages of labor.
I had imagined we would both be scared and paranoid and worry ourselves sick when she got pregnant again but I think life has shown us, whatever will be, will be.
If this new baby is meant to be, meant to live here with us, she will.
We are just enjoying her while she grows inside my Bella. I spoon her every night and keep my hands on her belly so I can feel the baby kick.
She is a happy baby so I think she will stay.
Bella thinks so ,too. She has everything ready, the crib is in our bedroom, all made up and ready, the cradle beside the bed. On my side, because I will be the one who lifts the baby out in the night and hands her to Bella.
Bella is going to nurse for as long as the baby wants. She is very in tune with her body and she eats whatever the baby demands.
I know it is a medical fact that pregnant women crave the vitamins they need, so when Bella eats 3 oranges or craves bread, I know its just Nature's way of giving her the heads up to increase that food.
Her insistence that the baby needs chocolate is not a medical fact, no matter what Bella says.
She needs a treat, the injections Carlisle gives her are painful and tricky to get exactly right. They have to thin her blood so she doesn't get blood clots but not thin it too much so she gets sick herself.
Her reward is always a chocolate. She is like a child, wanting her treat for behaving and allowing Carlisle to torture her this way.
I do not leave her, ever. She needs to be watched carefully but as I said, we are sensible but not paranoid. Not every cramp is a labor pain, not every twitch is the onset of a fit.
She is relaxed and accepting and happy again.
God knows I am happy. I truly never expected to ever be happy again and now I have my Bella, all I can do is smile. My composing has changed so much, the sad, difficult tunes I used to write just don't come to me now. I can only write about happiness and hope and laughter.
Bella makes me laugh every day.
My house is full of friends and noise again. Alice is always here, Rose comes over and bosses us around and orders that we don't turn middle aged just because we are about to be parents again.
She and Emmett are trying for a baby so I know she is just expressing her own fears, that she will become middle aged when her own child arrives.
Jacob Black visits and I can see in his eyes that he loves Bella too, but its okay because she chose me.
They talk openly about their time together in Italy and you can see the two different perspectives. To Bella, it was an escape and a time of healing, that she had to go through, and she was glad when it was over.
To him, it was the best days of his life.
I feel sorry for Jacob because I lost her too and I remember how very bad that was. Getting her back was being allowed back into life.
Like you are struggling across a wind swept plain in three feet of snow, blinded and frozen, lost, without hope, and a door opens and pulls you inside to a warm fire and a hot drink and a pair of loving arms and you know you are saved.
He will never get to feel that, not from Bella anyway, but I hope there is someone else out there ready to pull him through her door.
The dog loves Bella, of course. How could anyone not love her? She sits as close to her as she can cram herself and puts her paw on Bella's knee and looks into her eyes, telling her secrets from before.
I don't like telling Bella how it was for me, that year. It was so bleak, and painful and hopeless that I surprised myself that I didn't just jump off a cliff and get it over with.
That never occurred to me, because I felt Bella was still in this world and I wouldn't want to be where she wasn't. We had to at least be existing on the same planet. I thought that was as good as it would get for a while there but it must have been enough because I stayed.
Bella's excited scream pulls me back to the present.
I race to the open window. She is standing with her legs wide apart, a look of joy and fear and anticipation on her face.
"My water just broke. All over my new dress."
I run downstairs and outside and scoop her up in my arms and carry her to our bed.
It is all ready. I ring my father and he promises he and the others in the team will be right over, so I open the security gate with the remote control, and go back to Bella. She has stripped her dress off in disgust and is walking back and forth in a bright red bra only.
We have to be able to see her skin and make sure no sudden bruises appear.
She is having the baby here at home only because Carlisle has approved of it. The fear of anyone having to make a decision is more than she can bear so we are having a natural delivery and just praying all will go well.
Carlisle has stacked a heap of equipment here, hidden in an upstairs bedroom. Bella has ordered he can only interfere if the outlook is good for both her and the baby.
It anything goes wrong, she would rather just go and take the baby with her. I know if that happens, I will follow them, so I have agreed. Its what we both want.
I feel optimistic and I time the contractions and strip the bed back to just the plastic sheet and the one cotton sheet on top.
Towels and baby blankets are stacked ready for use.
Carlisle strides up the stairs and asks Bella if he may check her progress so she lays on the bed and grips my hand.
"You are almost fully dilated, well done."
Bella wants to walk some more so I put my arm around her waist. We ignore the hustle and bustle as the midwife and nurse set up a drip and line up the maybe necessary equipment.
Bella starts to shake and asks me to help her into the shower so I turn the water on and she moans as the hot water eases the cramps in her back and belly. It seems to be helping her so I just hum to her and rub her lower back as she contorts her body into a better position to relieve the pain. She is so brave, my Bella.
I kiss her face and she kisses me back, breaking off to curse as a harder contraction hits.
I laugh quietly. Its the first time she has ever sworn into my mouth.
I half walk, half carry her to the bed as the top of the baby's head is making its presence known. Bella straddles my bent legs as I kneel open legged on the bed and hold her back against my chest. The baby descends into the space between both our legs so its is as if we are both giving birth.
A cry, loud and angry, fills the air and we all cheer and start celebrating.
Carlisle lifts the baby and I lay Bella back against the pillows and take our new daughter from him, still attached to Bella by her cord.
She is beautiful. Perfect, beautiful, alive.
The midwife rubs her body with a warm towel and she turns from angry purple, to pale white to ruddy pink.
"I give her a 10" says Carlisle, confirming she is perfect.
He hands me the scissors and takes the baby closer to Bella so I cut the cord he has clamped and our daughter becomes a separate human being. She sounds a little angry about that, but who wouldn't be angry, being parted from Bella?
I sit beside them both as Carlisle returns to delivering the placenta, but Bella barely notices, she has only eyes for the baby and me.
We hold her together and smile at each other.
This is the way it is meant to be.
The baby has a fuzz of coppery brown hair and pale skin and my long fingers. Bella's lips and heart shaped face. Her eyes open and Bella's brown eyes gaze into mine.
I smile, glad she is different to Faith. She is her own person. Green eyes would have made us wonder.
"Hope" we say in unison. There was never any doubt what we would name her.
Her name symbolizes our new life together.
After the cleaning up and showering and dressing, I get to bathe my daughter and this time, my daughter is moving and watching me and jerking her out of control newborn limbs and the tears on my cheeks are those of happiness.
A nurse has videoed the whole thing and this video will be watched over and over for a different reason. We will be able to look back and see how much Hope has grown and changed over time. It won't be that short piece of time we needed to cling to as all we had with our Angel Faith..
I look at the clock.
I laugh as I notice Bella looking as well. We just needed to know we could have a baby and give her more than seventeen minutes.
Hope nuzzles into Bella's breast and attached herself onto a nipple. We watch in awe. Its our first experience of the beginning of a new life that plans to stay with us.
Her brown eyes are narrowed in concentration as she kneads her fists into the breast, searching for comfort and nourishment.
Carlisle injects Bella with a drug to stop the thinning effect so she doesn't bleed out and checks her every few minutes.
All is well. Everything is perfect.
Carlisle and Esme sleep in a guestroom over night, my father checks Bella every hour.
The next day the visitors start.
Alice and Rose arrive soon after breakfast and sit in awe of Bella and baby Hope.
Rose cries and confesses, she is about 7 weeks pregnant but didn't want to tell us until after Hope was born.
"Beat ya." says Alice."Four months gone."
We are happy for them and for us. Hope will have friends to grow up with.
We may never chance another pregnancy, it may be too risky so we take comfort that our child won't grow up alone.
Esme is bursting with joy. She can't bear to stay away from the baby and she is so excited to have a granddaughter she can watch grow and spend time with.
She congratulates the girls and is already looking forward to their babies.
Life is full of promise and love and we can finally move on. Move on with Hope.
Thanks to everyone who stayed the whole way and those who came back to see the 'nice' version of that ratty tale I wrote first. Please check my other stories, I have so many ideas for new tales of Edward and Bella. Be warned, I can't yet write lemons for any other couples, if either Ed or Bell have sex with someone else, its gonna be fade to black! Cheers, Lynzi