I was feeling a bit stressed when I found this crazy (in a good way) fic "Insane Asylum Escapees" by RuneWitchSakura. This fic was what inspire me to write this crack. Lol.

Btw, this fic is un-betaed. So, forgive me for the mistakes.

Anyway, enjoy!!

Neko Curse


Edward Cullen sat in his window seat and looked forlornly at the beautiful garden in his house's backyard. This day was so beautiful; the sky was so blue and clear, the sun shone happily, the air was fresh, and his family was having fun downstairs. Still, Edward's day was so glum.

What was wrong with him?

His family – well his coven actually, but whatever – was happy. He could hear Emmett's laughter when he won the game, Esme' who was bustling in the house, even the sound of Carlisle's opened book sheets and Rosalie's fashion magazine in the living room. Though, where Alice and Jasper were now, he could not tell.

So, why was he, the Adonis Edward Cullen, mopping in his room?

The answer was simple… he needed to get laid.


Well, yes. Out of his entire family, he was the only one who did not have mate. Not that he was ugly, mind you. Based on the Fork high's not so secret poll, everyone (every girl and most of the boys) agreed that he was the number one eligible boyfriend material. But, he never took anyone out.

Edward Cullen, like any sappy Adonis vampire in the world (read: just him), was waiting for his perfect mate or his other half or his beloved lover to come. He had done everything that he could to find his mate, like posting ads in newspaper, writing to Santa, putting letter on top of bamboo wood (1), etc. But, his mate never show up.

So, here we were. Watching the gorgeous Edward mourning in his room.

"God… if you really exist, please…please…please… send me my mate. I don't care what he (yes, he) looks like. I will love him for eternity. So, please…" Edward's desperate voice was heard from his seat in the window.

As if God was waiting for this moment (and for all we knew, He maybe was), bright light shone in Edward's bedroom. The vampire covered his eyes, for the light was so bright.

'What the…' he thought.

Wish granted.

He heard voice in his head, which if he really paid any attention, he would realized that this voice seemed suspiciously smug.

Oh well, not that it mattered seeing that Edward did not pay any attention to it. Apparently, his eyes were now glued to the object in front of him.

"Oh my God…" Edward could not believe it. It was real!

For directly across Edward's position was the most beautiful thing he ever saw.

Big round eyes with the gorgeous forest green orbs…

Small and cute posture…

Soft black locks(2) …

Edward was positively smitten. It was love at the first sight!

"Mate!" and in a flash he was in front of his mate.

Wow! That was the only thing in Edward's mind. He had thought about what his mate would look like when he met him. But… but this was incredible. His mate was so perfect!

Slowly, he reached out for his mate. After all, he did not want to make him afraid.

Green eyes watched curiously at his hand as slowly he touched his mate's soft locks.

So soft…

Edward was not a picky person. He knew that whatever appearances his mate had, he would love him with all his heart. So, with that thought firmly etched in his mind he picked up his small mate.

He would show his mate his eternal love…

"Will you be my mate?"

… even though his mate was a …



~ TBC? ~

Neko = cat (Japanese)

Japanese tradition called Tanabata, where you write your wishes in colorful papers and put in on top of bamboo wood.

Can't think of another word for 'fur' without being obvious TT

Ugh, this is a short fic, but I will be very happy to hear your responses.

Anyway, sorry that I haven't update for ages. This few month I was so busy (well, I'm still busy actually) with all those end of semester assignments, the final exam, and my works. And, though it already holiday, I still have works that must be finished in few days. (So, yeah I'm still in zombie world for the lack of sleep)

Don't worry. I won't abandon my fics. But, I don't have the time and mood to write serious fics right now. So, this crack fic is born. Heh, I should have done my work, but whatever ^^

Anyway, I have a short omake.

~ oMaKe ~

Where was Alice?

Somewhere in the mall…

"Umm… Alice, why should we buy this?" Jasper asked when Alice loaded his arms with cat's toys.

"You will see…" she said while grinning mysteriously.

"Do we really need this?" he asked again about the numerous brand of expensive cat's food.

"Of course," she answered absentmindedly.

"Alice…." Jasper moaned exasperatedly when he saw Alice buy a cat's pillow filled with goose feather.

"Shut up, Jasper. This is all for our new member."

"New member?! Alice, you know that Emmett would eat that poor cat faster than you could say 'miaw', right?"

"Don't worry, Edward would kill him if he ever thought about eating it."


"You will see."

Sigh. Poor Jasper.


Don't forget to review and tell me whether you want another chapter or not.