All right! My first Batman fanfic on here! It's a little goofy to read, but I think it's pretty funny. So please read and review.

Disclaimer: I do not own Batman.

I had been out on my patrol when I had noticed Catwoman talking with a man. She was obviously looking for some information. He, however, had other thoughts.

I observed him as he leered at Catwoman, his interest in her plainly visible by how he was acting. His gaze never went above her chest, and every word that came out of his mouth was a lewd comment or innuendo. When he couldn't offer her the information she needed, she shoved him away in disgust, and, hooking her whip around a fire escape attached to the side of a building, swung onto the roof and vanished.

I noticed that, during the entire exchange, my fists had clenched involuntarily. Now I flexed them, itching to sink my fist into the guy's face. Perhaps it was time to establish some new rules in Gotham. I shot out my grapple hook and swung down from the roof, landing quietly behind the thug.


The guy whirled around, his eyes widening when he noticed me standing there. "Aw, man! I wasn't doin' anythin'! I swear!"

I leveled him with a stare, watching him as he squirmed. "You were doing something. You were thinking."

He gulped, "So now it's a crime to think?"

"If you think about the wrong things, then yes." I grabbed him by the front of the shirt, yanking him close. "Listen, and listen good. I'm only saying this once. I want you to repeat it to everyone you meet. Got it?"

He nodded, "Y-yeah, I got it."

"There are four new rules in Gotham that begin tonight. Rule number one: don't look at my Cat. Rule number two: don't even think about my Cat. Rule number three: don't even talk about my Cat. Rule number four: if you break rule number one, rule number two, or rule number three, don't even think about begging for mercy when I find you. Because I will find you, and I will not have any mercy on you. Do you understand?"

"Yeah, I do. Don't look at your Cat, don't think about your Cat, don't talk about your Cat, and don't beg for mercy." He stated, shaking uncontrollably.

"Good." I threw him to the ground and turned. "Remember, tell everyone you meet." I melted into the shadows, disappearing as quickly and silently as I had appeared. I allowed myself a smirk. Catwoman was now untouchable to anyone except for me.

Just the way I liked it.