This is mostly out of boredom, so it's not really a true story, but enjoy anyways!
Date: January 12, 2010Time: 12:00 noon
Psychiatrist: Ok, Link. Lets get started. Now, why have you come here today? What seems to be the problem?
Link: I work really hard.
Link: And I save Hyrule and all.
Psychiatrist: Go on.
Link: I can't stand it! I have to keep saving Hyrule over and over again!
Psychiatrist: Oh, dear, what seems to be the center of the problem? What causes this problem, in other words?
Link: Ganondorf is the main problem! Every time I kill him, seal him in another realm, or who knows what he always comes back! And tries to take over Hyrule! What does he want with it? I have explored under every rock in that place, it is nothing special! I don't get it!
Psychiatrist: Oh dear! Is that all?
Link: No! Princess Zelda always somehow manages to get caught by Ganondorf or some other evil villain. Always! I swear, I have to watch her 24-7 in order to protect her. I can't stand it!
Psychiatrist: A serious problem! Ok, lets talk this through. Now the main cause of all this seems to be Ganondorf. Now, do you have any solutions how to solve this problem?
Psychiatrist: I see. Well, Link, there are many options to solve this problem. A) you could talk to him.
Link: Yeah, he'll just kill me.
Psychiatrist: B) Bribe him into leaving Hyrule alone.
Link: Oh yeah? How?
Psychiatrist: C) Threaten him.
Link: Look, my very presence threatens him!
Psychiatrist: Did you threaten to send Navi after him? Hm? To be partners with her? I don't think so! Or D)kill him.
Link: None of those are any good to solve my problem!
Psychiatrist: Try one you haven't used yet!
Link: I don't like any of them.
Psychiatrist: Ok then, I guess there is one more option.
Link: Yes? What is it?
Psychiatrist: I know someone who is so evil and cunning who can destroy Ganondorf once and for all. Here is his card.
Link: (reading from the card) Do you have a pesky villain problem? Do you try to kill a villain, but he never seems to die? Then come see Tingle, the all amazing reincarnation of a fairy! Don't worry, he'll get the job done right!
Psychiatrist: There you go.
Link: You're kidding, right?
Psychiatrist: Look, I never joke around. Trust me, this fellow can do anything! Just you wait! He killed my ex-…
Link: Fine. I'll try out that crazy person! Just stop talking!
Psychiatrist: Glad to help! Now, lets talk about your other problems.
Link: Ok, I would like to talk about the Zelda problem.
Link: As you know,. I always have to save her, and its annoying. Why do I have to save her all the time?
Psychiatrist: Well, Link, there are many reasons why. First off, the hero always has to save the princess. It is written in the law. Every time a villain threatens the world, you are going to have to save Princess Zelda. Second, nobody wants to hear the story of how Link saved Hyrule. No, it's not enough. Everyone wants to hear about how Link saved Princess Zelda from the evil villain who wants to take over Hyrule. See, doesn't that sound better?
Link: What? What kind of stupid reasons are those?
Psychiatrist: If you don't like it, talk to the public, not me.
Psychiatrist: Look, if you want Princess Zelda to stop being kidnapped then kill her.
Psychiatrist: Then no one would be able to kidnap her.
Link: I can't do that!
Psychiatrist: Fine, then ask Tingle to do it, he won't mind.
Link: You're crazy.
Psychiatrist: I beg to differ, I merely tell you my wisdom and logic about life. Trust me, if you want to be left alone, then my advice is the best around.
Link: Thank you for the non-help. I'm going now.
Psychiatrist: Fine. Good-bye, and thank you for coming! Please come back soon!
After notes: Link never took my advice. He wonders why he still has to save Hyrule over and over again. He should just take my advice. I mean, just look at Tingle! He came for me for help a while back and now he is popular, successful, and loved by everyone! I still can't understand how people think… oh well.