Disclaimer – I don't own Bleach. A little bit of poking at Twilight, hopefully in good humor.

What Means Epic?

There were certain fads, that Kurosaki Ichigo just couldn't get into them. One was that stupid ghost show. It had always been rather unsettling with him, and he didn't want anything to do with it, yet he had not only ended up with his face plastered onto the television episode, he got to become the guys apprentice.

The new trend that popped up, was the new novel series by an American author, by the name of Stephanie Myers. He happened to hear a lot about the book, and found it to be yet another dumb fad that some of this friends had gotten into. And the more he heard about the book series, the more he didn't want to hear about it.

However, one day, while he was at school, Orihime ended up bringing the book to the classroom. "Ne… Kurosaki-san. Tatsuki says you haven't read the book yet…"

This caused him to glance over at his childhood friend who mouthed a word of apology to him. He turned his head to her, a grumpy expression on his face. "I don't plan on reading it…"

"But why not, it is a good book…" Orihime bemoaned.

"Compared to what? All I have heard about the books make me wonder how she even got published," Ichigo stated, suddenly realizing his mistake as Orihime's face twisted in irritation.

"It is very much talked about, and a lot of people like it," Orihime stated, placing her hands on her hips.

"It turns the vampire genera into a mockery," Ichigo muttered.

"But it is so romantic!" Orihime stated. "I prefer this to most vampire novels I read."

"It can't beat Dracula, or Anne Rices stuff, Blood, or Vampire Hunter D," came his remark. "And vampires don't sparkle in the sunlight. They burn up and die."

"But I love Bella's relationship with Edward," the girl pouted.

"She two times, Orihime, and her boyfriend is over protective of her," Ichigo stated. "I would never want to have that kind of relationship with a girl."

"It's my favorite book! It's going to be a classic, remembered forever!" Orihime muttered.

"I'll take Shakesphere any day," came the muttered reply. This caused Orihime to turn and walk away from him.

"You know… I know that the books aren't that well written, but could you have more tact?" Tatsuki stated, shaking her head.

"Karin has been complaining about the stupidity of her classmates, and had to get me to talk Yuzu out of reading it," Ichigo sighed. "What did you think about it?"

"I disagree with Orihime about it being well written. However, I couldn't help but get kicks out of it, as it is addicting. Concider it reading for the kicks, that and one could possibly tear it apart, and make a good hard critique about the book," Tatsuki sighed.

"Why does Orihime like the Twilight series…"

"Because it is so Romantic!" Rukia stated, popping up behind him, suddenly doing the bwaa-haaa-haaa from that one show, causing the guy to jump. "I don't care if it is well written. It was gross, dark, and thrilling… and I think that I just proved your point… but I don't care! I am glad you talked Yuzu out of reading it though… oh, and that critique on the books, Hisagi wrote a two hundred page essay on it… then burned it…"

Author's note – I don't have problems with people reading Twilight. I just… don't like the fact that some of the fans think it is perfect… it is kind of disturbing. Also, the idea popped into my head, that Ichigo and Orihime would have majorly differing opinions about the series. As cute as Ichigo/Orihime is, I think is one of the things that makes the pairing… problematic.