Disclaimer: I own nothing. Neither does chaosmob. So no suing please!
A/N: This is a co-write between chaosmob and I, so it'll be one chapter each. This is my chapter, so enjoy!
A Rich Kid With Issues
Chapter One - Hand-Feeding Giraffes
"I'm older than you now."
Okay, so far so good. This was about to very right or very wrong...
Batboy stood up, a triumphant grin on his face. "You sure are."
Mordred's smug expression faltered. "What?" When he looked down and saw his disappearing legs, it moved to one of pure terror. "Wait, no!"
It was too late, though, and in a swirl of golden fire, the now-adult Mordred was swept away. With him, Funseyland was immediately restored to it's golden, light-filled glory, a purple wave of magic crashing through it all. It left, however, four superhero kids and a demon baby in its wake.
Everyone looked optimistic that Morgaine would be along soon to reverse the spell, Diana noted. Everyone, that was, except Batman. Boy. But then he hadn't been as childlike as the rest of them; and it wasn't a successful mission until the report had been typed and filed, after all.
Catching her look, he sent her a glare. Diana rolled her eyes and returned her gaze to the squirming baby in her arms. He really was so cute, she thought, tickling him under his chin. Baby Etrigan gurgled happily and settled down a bit.
In front of the faintly pink castle, the figure of Morgaine le Fay appeared, regarding them all from underneath her emotionless mask. "Well?" Batboy demanded impatiently.
She nodded. "A bargain is a bargain."
They waited. No magic was forthcoming. When Morgaine spoke again, her voice was cold with anger. "But the damage you have wrought upon my son - this I cannot forgive."
Uh-oh... "You can't just leave us like this!" Clark protested, stepping forward.
"And I won't," Le Fay assured them. "As soon as I find a way to restore Mordred's eternal youth, I will release you from the spell."
Then she disappeared, leaving the four of them staring after her. GL summed it up. "I hate magic."
"Now what do we do?" she asked.
"Get out of here for a start," Bruce said. "Then we contact the League magicians; Zatanna, Doctor Fate, and start working on a way to revert back to adulthood."
Superboy nodded. "Good idea." He put his hand to his com-link. "Super-"
Bruce knocked his hand away with a glare. "Not the Watchtower, doofus!"
Diana and John exchanged a glance, then giggled a little bit. Bruce bestowed a glare on everyone. "Don't tell me you're embarrassed?" Clark asked. "C'mon, Batman, it's just the rest of the League!"
"Some of us have reputations that need to be maintained, Kent! It doesn't matter how they see you; I can't afford to be ridiculed!"
He had a point, Diana reflected. Without any meta-powers, fear and respect went hand in hand with Batman. Without that… "So where else is there?" she asked. Her mind went back to the last time the League had been without sanctuary — the Thanagarian invasion. "I guess it'll have to be the m- Batcave."
Batboy nodded. "Fine. But no one tells Flash where we are." He then flipped open a panel in his gauntlet, tapping a sequence of keys. "The Batmobile is on its way."
"How long will it take to get here?" GL asked.
Funseyland was just outside Metropolis, and Gotham was about a hundred miles north of here.
"About an hour," Batboy said briefly.
"So we have time to go around Funseyland?" Clark asked. "I always wanted to come here as a kid!"
"It does look like fun," Diana agreed, noting the expressions on John and Bruce's faces. John looked equally excited, and Bruce looked — as normal — like he was brooding over something. "And circumstances aside, maybe we could just enjoy being kids again."
Bruce stiffened, then turned to deliver a narrow-eyed glare at her. "I haven't been a kid since I was eight years old."
No one wanted to point out that he was eight years old, and after yet another glare, Bruce stalked away. Diana sighed, her free hand planted on her hip. There he went again. Well, she wasn't having it. Shoving Etrigan into Clark's arms, she turned on her heel and went after Bruce.
For a non-meta, he had a gift for escaping situations extremely quickly; she had to lift into the air to find the darkest shadow in the park. He was almost to the gate when she found him. Wasting no time, Diana swooped down in front of him. "No."
Bruce glared. "Get out of the way, Diana."
"Not until you come feed the giraffes with me."
Her demanded was so random that he stopped, staring at her. "I- You- What?"
"Are you going deaf?" she asked. Without waiting for an answer, she grabbed his hand and lifted into the air until she spotted the giraffe enclosure. She made sure to grab a couple branches along the way.
Finally they were alongside the giraffes, and Diana set Bruce down, then gave one of the branches to Bruce. They were pretty much alone, since every parent in the park had wanted to get their children home as quickly as possible. She held out one of the branches to Bruce, who promptly folded his arms.
"I am not hand-feeding giraffes, Princess."
She grinned. "I like it when you call me that, you know."
"I'm still not doing it, Diana."
"Of course you are," she told him smugly.
She put the branch at his feet, then waved the branch toward the nearest giraffe. With a gait that was both clumsy and graceful, it moved over to her and bent down, tearing the leaves of the top. Diana somehow managed to look like she was struggling to hold onto the branch whilst giggling enchantingly. Not that he noticed that, of course.
She seemed so engaged in the task that Bruce thought sneaking away might be a good idea...only to be stopped by a firm hand on his shoulder. "Please, Bruce."
Damn it, why did she have to say please?
Heaving out the most dramatic and long-suffering sigh he could muster, Bruce picked up the branch at his feet. And then he held it out to the giraffe. A foot-long tongue shot out, and Bruce's jaw dropped. "It's blue," he exclaimed.
Diana beamed. "Great Hera, something Batman doesn't know!"
Him looking at her had distracted him away from the giraffe, and stopped him from noticing the branch had now been stripped of leaves. The giraffe chose to convey this to Bruce by licking him. On the face. True, it was mostly covered by his cowl, but still-
"Oh, that is gross!"
Diana burst out laughing. Bruce, dripping in giraffe drool, glared at her. "This is not funny!"
She nodded, tears of mirth streaming down her cheeks as she struggled for breath. "Oh yes it is!" Still laughing, she bent double. Mistake.
Her giraffe decided on a similar tactic to Bruce's, resulting with both Diana's arms - the only part of her close enough to the giraffe - being very wet and slobbery. It was Bruce's turn to burst out laughing. Diana had abruptly stopped, and was now looking utterly disgusted. "Great Hera…it's like snot!"
Bruce kept laughing. Then realised he was laughing. And cut himself off. Angry that she'd managed to trick him into acting like a kid, he clapped slowly, sarcastically. "Well done, Diana. I have to applaud your efforts. Nice try, but no cigar."
Diana did not look at all perturbed, only shrugging. "Best thing about being a kid? Endless capacity for practical jokes."
The computer in Bruce's gauntlet beeped. "Car's here."
She offered him her hand. "Come on then."
He looked at her hand in disgust. "I'm not touching that."
She shrugged, took to the air. "Suit yourself."
When she landed next to the sleek black form of the Batmobile, Clark and John were waiting, Baby Etrigan struggling to get to Diana as soon as he saw her. When she got closer, though, and he smelt the giraffe drool, and backed off. Clark wrinkled his nose too.
"Don't ask," she warned, smiling. "Bruce declined the offer of a lift, so he's still en route."
Eventually, Bruce turned up. With four adults there wouldn't be anywhere near enough room, but with Etrigan on Bruce's lap, John on Diana's — since she had longer legs — and Clark flying to Gotham, it didn't take them long to get to the manor. When they pulled into the Cave, Alfred was waiting.
He spent no more than ten seconds looking the four of them up and down. "I take it the mission did not go exactly as planned, sir?"
A/N: Review please!