Disclaimer: Not mine! And once again, anthing in bold is from The Awakening. I love using quotes from there. :D
Obviously, this takes place during the infamous Werewolf Scene of The Awakening. Because, like everyone else, I absolutely love that scene.
Little by little, the wolf took control. I liked to think that I was in charge of myself, that no matter what path the wolf chose, I would always be one step ahead of it. This way of thinking seemed to work, so I had kept at it. If I could manage my own thoughts, I could keep the wolf at bay until I was ready to let it loose.
But the wolf had intelligence. Cunning. Sleuth. It took its strategy--little by little--and applied it wherever it could. Its victories were so insignificant, so minute that I hadn't even noticed.
It started with the food. Beginning small, the wolf had declared a stalk of broccoli--mine. Moving up, a helping of mashed potatoes--mine. And next, a whole cheeseburger--mine. Up until the point where I was practically growling if someone so much as sniffed at my platter of ham. It was something so basic, so normal for a growing boy that I never even realized what was happening. The wolf was claiming dishes, forcing those claims into my head, demanding I should physically take what I wanted. It was my right as the dominate creature.
I busied myself with managing those urges. It was hopeless to try and completely crush them. They were there, and they were staying there. And it wasn't like I could really complain. I liked eating in abundance. Others, however, were turned off by gluttony. And while I cared less about what people thought of me, I was still a werewolf trying to blend in with a non-supernatural world.
Then, while I was occupied with maintaining my insatiable appetite, the wolf was on the move. Suddenly, clothes and shoes were mine. Armchairs and seats on sofas--mine. Pencils, bars of soap, laundry baskets, tissue boxes, spoons, books, plates--anything and everything the wolf could see through my eyes, all acknowledged as mine.
But was it really mine? Or the wolf's? Confusion settles when there are two beings in one mind--even more so when one is a beast. It was illogical for a human to feel the need to control so much, so I chalked it all up to the wolf. It was all the wolf's fault. All his doing. I wanted no part--had no part in claiming what I thought to be mine.
I always denied what the wolf wanted on that basis because it was what he wanted, not Derek Souza. Not me. Never me. Just him. The wolf. Never did I desire what the wolf desired. I was above the wolf. I was Derek. I was my own person. I was not him. He would not sneak up on me, unknowingly asserting things as mine when they were in actuality his. The wolf and I would not want the same things until I could make those decisions on my own, without the wolf's interference. I would do in consciously, I would know when I wanted something, and then I would let the wolf claim it. I would not let it sneak up on me.
Until it did.
I hadn't realized it--All right. Fine. I had noticed, just like I had with the food. But that didn't mean that I had to accept it. As soon as I accepted those possessive feelings, I gave up total control to the wolf. I didn't want that to happen. The other werewolf subjects of the Genesis Project had given up their humanity to the wolf. I wasn't like that, never planned on being like that.
So, I had pushed those feelings of ownership away. They were still there, though. Always there. Just like the wolf. I couldn't rid myself of either, regardless of how much I wanted them gone. Always there, lurking and waiting to emerge from the darkest recesses of my mind. And it only takes one simple thing to coax them out, the slightest catalyst…
…such as another werewolf.
It's this thing about werewolves. We like boundaries. Territory. We like claiming things so much that we grow a tad too protective when others encroach on what we believe is ours. We don't like when someone else comes in and crosses those boundaries, getting too close to what we claimed as ours.
And this wolf--Liam--he was getting a little too close to what I had claimed as mine.
The way he looked at her. The way he grinned at her. The way he advanced ever so slowly, as if I wouldn't notice how close he was to her. But I noticed. With him inching forward, it was difficult to focus, to control myself. My usually rational mind, which should have been developing a clean escape route, was bursting with the wolf. Protect. Defend. Protect. Mine.
I stood my ground. No sense in letting the wolf have its way. I was outmatched, not just in numbers but in strength as well. It would do me no good to spontaneously attack. I had to think of a plan. Something to get her away from--when did he get so close to her? So close. He needed to get away.
No. I needed to be calm. I couldn't save her if I lost my mind over another inch of Liam's foot. Calm. I had grabbed hold of her arms, trying to reassure her, comfort her. But now, as my breath became thin and my head clouded with red, my hold on her was more to comfort my own mind. If I held her in my grasp, he couldn't have her. Couldn't get to her.
But he said things. Disgusting things. Bad things. Bad. Bad. Bad.
But a little cutie like that, who already knows what I am? That's…Sweet.
Go. Away. Protect.
It won't work out. It never does. Why don't you just give her to me now, let me help you get over it. Painful but quick. It's the best way.
No. Keep. Protect. Protect.
So tiny and cute, big blue eyes all wide and scared.
Scared. Protect. Protect. Protect.
And don't worry; we'll take good care--
Authoress's Notes: And there we have it! The werewolf scene, through Derek's eyes!!! First time I wrote in first person with him. I didn't think I was ready to dive into his mind like that just yet, but I really liked how this turned out, how Derek progressively succumbed to the wolf. Ah, I love you, Derek!!
Oh my, second fic this week. Let's just say....I was REALLY bored in Physics this week....and I procrastinated on my homework....a lot. Like right now, I should be looking up information for an oral presentation for French tomorrow....but I typed this instead. Woohoo! Darkest Powers has been gradually taking over my mind this week. I've been stirred into action by the exciting news of the release date of The Reckoning being pushed up to April 6!!! That's all I say anymore...April 6. My friends think I've gone officially crazy. But I'm excited because April 6 is during my spring break, meaning I can go buy The Reckoning and then read it as many times as I want, without having to worry about school.
Anyway, hope you enjoyed yet another story from me! Who knows, maybe I'll surprise you next week with another one. I have midterms next week, which equals finishing my exams in about an hour, than having another half hour to do nothing but sit and write while everyone else is still testing. And since all my exams are in the morning, I can leave school early and use the rest of the day to write even more!! Oh joy!