Disclaimer: If I owned Hetalia, I'd make the episodes a bit longer.
Hallo! It's Xero! I hope everyone's new year is starting off well. I quite literally started watching this series last night, so I'm still new to this. But this idea came to me in the middle of the night and I just couldn't resist. So I hope that this isn't too awful. Let the deadly tale begin!
It was a lovely morning in Germany's house. Italy was asleep, so the house was quiet, something that rarely happened. While watching a documentary about penguins, Germany decided that he wanted pasta for lunch. Granted he ate enough pasta every other day, since it was nearly the only thing Italy ate, but Germany figured that it would make Italy happy, since the hyperactive country hadn't asked for pasta that day.
Walking into the kitchen, Germany grabbed the required ingredients for making bacon alfredo, since that was what he was in the mood for. But when he went into the pantry for the pasta, he found that there was none to be seen.
Frowning, Germany moved around various boxes, searching for the pasta, but found none. He knew he had pasta a few days ago; he'd made chicken noodle soup just the day before. Perhaps Italy knew something about it.
Germany walked up to Italy's door, knocked and said, "Italy, it's me. Let me in, okay?"
"Give me a second!" Italy shouted.
Crashing sounds could be heard coming from inside the room, which confused Germany at first, but he then figured it was best not to think too much about the subject. Italy had probably been playing DDR again and was trying to shove the steel dance mat in the closet.
"Okay, you can come in!"
Germany hesitantly opened the door, fearing that the room inside would resemble wreckage left behind from a tornado. However, the only thing out of place was a white flag on a stick resting on Italy's bed.
"Italy, you wouldn't happen to be mass-producing white flags again, would you?" Germany asked warily.
"No…" Italy was clearly lying, but Germany decided that he'd ignore the subject for now.
"Have you seen the pasta?" Germany asked. "I want to make bacon alfredo for lunch."
"Yea!" Italy jumped up and down in a circle.
"Italy, where is the pasta?" Germany asked impatiently.
"In the pantry?" Italy suggested.
"Do you seriously think I didn't look there?" Germany rolled his eyes.
"So the pasta is missing?" Italy gasped.
"Yes, Italy, it is." Germany said.
"I must go find it!" Italy screamed before running out of the room.
"Calm down, Italy." Germany dashed out of the room after the energetic country. "Don't do anything rash!"
Germany stopped in the living room, where he found Italy pulling the cushions off the couch in desperation.
"Italy!" Germany yelled as he grabbed the country and threw him off the couch. "Don't destroy the furniture!"
"But the pasta might be there!" Italy wailed.
"Of course it won't be." Germany snapped. "We probably just ran out, since you eat pasta nearly every second of the day."
"So what are we eating now?" Italy asked curiously.
"I guess I'll make hamburgers." Germany shrugged.
"But America will somehow find out and he'll come over." Italy pointed out.
"Good point." Germany nodded. "Okay, sauerkraut it is."
"That's gross!" Italy groaned in protest.
"If you don't like it, then go make something yourself." Germany said before walking off to the kitchen.
"Okay, but I'm going to get my comic book first." Italy said before padding off to his room.
When he went into his room and searched his bookcase for a comic book, Italy found something poking out from behind one of his books. Pulling out the book in question, Italy made quite an interesting discovery.
It was the pasta.
"Germany, I found the pasta!" Italy proclaimed as he ran out of his room and into the kitchen.
"Where was it?" Germany frowned as he stopped chopping up cabbage.
"Behind my books in my bookshelf." Italy answered.
"You hid it there on purpose, didn't you?" Germany asked, giving Italy a suspicious look.
"Now why would I do that?" Italy wondered.
"Gee, I wonder why?" Germany pretended to be confused.
"I didn't put it there!" Italy exclaimed.
"I bet you did, Italy." Germany said, grabbing the box of pasta. "You had it a few weeks ago."
"I was making spaghetti in my room!" Italy yelped.
"Which you shouldn't have been doing in the first place!" Germany exclaimed. "Just go to your room, Italy."
"Fine, I'm going." Italy scowled at Germany before stomping off to his room.
If a visitor were to come to Canada's house, they would think that no one was home, especially if they simply knocked at the door and peeked through a window. No, Canada was down in the basement with America, England and Switzerland, watching a hockey game. During commercials, however, America demanded that the channel was changed to a football game. England had said that he wanted to watch a cricket match, but he gave up when America started throwing things at him such as magazines and random CDs from bands like She Wants Revenge and Prodigy.
"Canada, can you stop changing the channel to football?" Switzerland asked lazily from where he sat on a squashy lime-green bean-bag chair.
"Absolutely not!" America yelled instantaneously.
"I would like to change as well." England said from the other end of the room where he was reading The Taming of the Shrew. "Not that I really care."
"Why are you even here?" Canada asked.
"I have no idea." England said. "It was either here or go to Russia's house."
"He went out drinking with France and Japan last night." America said. "He wouldn't be in a good mood today."
"Why was France there?" Canada wondered. "I thought he was going to play checkers with Poland last night."
"Change of plans." America said as the TV started a commercial advertising certain weight-loss products.
"I bet Japan was happy." Switzerland said sarcastically. "You know how he is at social functions."
"Canada, do you have any hamburgers?" America asked. "Or fries?"
"We're eating in half an hour." Canada replied. "You can wait until then."
"But I'm hungry!" America complained.
"America, calm down." Switzerland said, drumming his fingers on his knee. "You won't die from starvation."
"I just might!" America exclaimed.
"I'm changing to hockey now." Canada said, though he knew that no one would be listening.
"No!" America yelled.
"Why not?" Canada frowned. "It's a commercial."
"Arguing about sports again?"
The countries looked over and saw Japan standing in the doorway.
"Japan!" England exclaimed. "When did you get here?"
"Just now." Japan sat down next to Canada on the couch.
"And how did you get in?" Canada questioned.
"Through the door?" Japan's response sounded like a question. "It was open."
"Ever hear of knocking?" Switzerland raised an eyebrow.
"I figured someone had to make sure America and Canada didn't start fighting." Japan said with a shrug.
"Oh, America already got it out of his system when he started throwing things at England." Switzerland said.
"Again, America?" Japan looked over at America, who was currently arguing with Canada about sports.
"He wanted to watch cricket!" America exclaimed. "You know I can't stand cricket!"
"That's no reason to start throwing things at me!" England glared at America in protest.
"Hey, does anyone know when we're meant to go to China's house for dinner?" Japan asked randomly.
"We're having dinner with China?" America, Canada and Switzerland asked in confusion.
"He told us yesterday." England said.
"Wait, how do you know about this?" America exclaimed.
"I, America, pay attention." England said as he turned back to his book. "And Japan, I think we're meant to go over around six."
"That late?" America groaned. "I'll never make it!"
"Yes, you will." Canada said. "It's not the end of the world."
"Italy, are you getting ready?"
Germany walked out of his room and into the kitchen, where he assumed he would find Italy eating pizza, despite the fact that they would be eating dinner in about fifteen minutes. However, he did not find the country there. After much searching, Germany found Italy in the basement playing Mario Party on the Wii.
"Italy, what are you doing?!" Germany exclaimed. "Japan's going to be here any minute!"
"Japan's coming?" Italy frowned. "What for?"
"We're eating dinner at China's!" Germany shouted. "I told you this an hour ago!"
"I forgot." Italy said.
"Just get ready to go, Italy." Germany grabbed the country and dragged him back up the steps and threw him into his room.
At that moment, the doorbell rang. Germany opened the door and found Japan standing on the doorstep.
"Ready to go?" Japan asked.
"Who do you think I'm waiting on?" Germany rolled his eyes.
"Again?" Japan questioned as he walked inside, stepping past Germany.
"He was playing video games." Germany said before yelling, "Let's go, Italy!"
"I'm coming, I'm coming!" Italy came dashing into the room carrying an armful of white flags.
"Enough with the sodding flags, Italy." Japan said. "Leave them home."
"Fine." Italy scowled in protest before dumping the flags on the nearby leather couch.
"So let's go." Germany said.
About ten minutes later, the three countries arrived at China's house. Germany and Japan were suspicious about the whole occasion, since China was technically the enemy, but the only think Italy was worried about was whether there was going to be pizza at the event.
"We're here, China." Japan said as they walked through the door into a large foyer.
"He's in the kitchen." Austria said as he walked into the room.
"Austria, I didn't know you were coming." Germany said. "Will Switzerland and Lichtenstein be attending?"
"Lichtenstein will not be." Austria said. "As for Switzerland…"
"He's here, isn't he?" Japan said as Italy wandered off to the kitchen, most likely in search of pasta.
"He's conversing with France at the moment." Switzerland said after a moment's hesitation.
"It will get better between you two." Germany assured him.
Meanwhile, Italy was about to enter the kitchen when he heard a voice coming from inside. Peeking around the corner, Italy saw China standing near the stove, apparently talking to himself.
"So Germany found out about the pasta, did he? I'm so glad he called to confirm about tonight, aru. And he actually believed that Italy did it!" China exclaimed. "Oh, this is just too perfect!"
Italy was shocked. So China was the culprit behind the pasta incident. But how did China move the pasta without either Germany or Italy finding out?
As curious as he was, Italy knew that he needed evidence to prove his innocence to Germany. Germany would never believe him without evidence.
Italy grabbed a tape recorder that was conveniently lying on a hall table and recorder China's mutterings, being especially careful to not get caught. Then when China started talking about something else, Italy raced back to the foyer and found Germany was now talking to France.
"Germany, China stole the pasta!" Italy exclaimed after nearly crashing into a statue of Aphrodite.
"Don't be ridiculous, Italy." Germany scolded the country. "Why would China want to take the pasta?"
"What's he talking about?" France asked Germany.
"I couldn't find the pasta when I went to make lunch today and I found it in Italy's room." Germany explained.
"That doesn't mean that I took it!" Italy yelped.
At that moment, America came into the foyer and said, "Guys, dinner's ready."
"Sounds good." France nodded and followed the rest of the countries to the dining room.
When they reached the dining room, they found nearly every country in Europe at the table from both the Axis and Allied powers.
"Why in the world are there so many countries?" Germany wondered.
"Who knows?" France shrugged as he sat down between Spain and Greece.
The dinner went very smoothly with minimal disruptions. Italy behaved himself, which Japan noted was a first, and Austria and Switzerland actually held a short conversation.
Only when the guests started to leave did things start to go wrong. France had brought several bottles of wine, so many of the guests were a bit tipsy. Russia had finished all of the vodka he had brought ten minutes into the dinner and had passed out cold on the marble floor.
"I think we should do something with him, don't you?" England asked.
"Oh, he'll be fine, ahn." China said. "He's done this before."
"Interesting." Japan said.
"Italy, we should return home." Germany said. "Japan, are you ready?"
"Whenever you are." Japan said.
"But-" Italy started to say, but promptly shut his mouth.
"But what, Italy?" Japan frowned in confusion.
"What about China and the pasta?" Italy asked.
"Forget about it, Italy." Germany said.
"What's he talking about, Germany?" Spain asked curiously.
"Oh, it's nothing." Germany said.
"I have proof!" Italy shouted.
And with that, Italy pulled out the tape recorder and played everything China had said. The rest of the countries looked at China in surprise, clearly wondering why he had done such a thing.
"Is this true, China?" France asked.
"Of course it is, aru." China said.
"I told you!" Italy exclaimed as he jumped up and down, pointing at China all the while.
"Shut up, Italy!" America snapped.
"Why in the world would you steal pasta of all things?" Switzerland wondered.
"Payback." China grinned deviously.
"Come again?" Canada frowned.
"I wanted revenge for when Italy broke my remote for the TV last week." China said.
"For something as trivial as that?" England raised an eyebrow.
"Of course." China said.
"Wait a minute." Germany said. "How did you even get in my house?"
"The door was open and no one was home, aru." China shrugged. "I just let myself in."
"That's technically called breaking and entering." America pointed out.
"Oh, I know." China said.
"China, you are officially insane." Austria said.
"So did you steal anything else while you were at it?" Germany demanded.
"Yeah, your beer is now under the sink in your bathroom, aru." China said nonchalantly.
"I was wondering where that went." Germany glared at the country.
"Well, I will be locking my door at all times from now on." Poland said.
"He'd just break the door down." Spain said.
"So it looks like Italy was right." Switzerland said. "For once."
"Never thought I'd see that happen." Austria commented.
"Neither did I." Germany said. "Believe me, I didn't see it coming."
"So I can have pasta for lunch tomorrow!" Italy exclaimed.
"Italy, do you ever eat anything besides pasta and pizza?" America asked.
"Nope." Italy grinned.
"Gee, how'd I know?" England rolled his eyes.
"We need to get going, Germany." Japan said, his eyes on the other country.
"Yes, we do." Germany said.
"Let's go, Italy." Japan said, his eyes on Italy.
"Okay!" Italy exclaimed, bounding out of the room, earning himself several rolled eyes from the other countries.
"Thanks for dinner, China." Germany said, facing China. "Don't break into my house again, all right?"
"That was just a one-time thing, aru." China said.
The trip home was rather uneventful. Italy raced into the house and instantly started making spaghetti.
"What the hell are you doing, Italy?!" Germany exclaimed. "You just ate!"
"But we have pasta now, so I can have spaghetti." Italy proclaimed.
"We've had it all day, but okay." Germany shrugged as he walked into the living room to watch TV.
"This is celebratory pasta." Italy said. "My innocence has been proven."
Germany rolled his eyes and yelled, "Just shut up and eat the pasta!"
Abrupt ending, I know. I just couldn't think of a way to end it. Ah well. Let me know what I can do to improve my writing. Flames will be ignored. If you want anything written, just PM me and let me know. Reviews equal love! Xero out.