A/N: Okay! Here's the new story. The first chapter isn't very action packed but it sets you up. Please stick with me. I love all the support I got with Come What May and I really hope you all stick with me. I have good things instore for this story. I know not everyone is a huge Quil fan but he needed some loving to. Any reviews are good reviews no matter how small!! Let me know what you guys think and you might get a preview of things to come. Love you!
Chapter 1: Abandoned Again
I'm beginning to think there is a sign above my head that states 'Run away before it's too late' or 'Move on, she's not worth it.' it's the only thing I can think of. Nothing else makes sense. Then again, I always knew I wasn't worth it. I should just quit trying.
I guess an explanation as to why I am thinking this way would help. It can really all be summed up into one phrase. I'm not good enough. I wasn't good enough for him. He even said so himself. Now I'm not good enough for Jake to stick around. I'm too broken. It goes back to the day I met the Cu…my other family. The day my world was turned upside down, never to be righted again.
I felt so loved, so special when I was with Ed…ward. To have the attention of the most desirable guy in school made me feel a little smug I'll admit, but I always knew he could do better. I guess it just took him longer to realize it. And when he finally did, I died. Not literally but some days I wished for it.
He told me that he didn't love me anymore. That he didn't want me. Did he ever really love me? What hurts most is that he took my family away from me. It was like ripping my whole heart out. No one said goodbye.
Jasper probably thought that I hated him. That couldn't be further from the truth. We may not have gotten close, but I still felt the love for him. I never blamed him for one minute. I think everyone that night forgot to take into consideration that he could feel all of their blood lust as well as his own. I just wish I had the chance to tell him.
Emmett claimed I was his little sister yet, no goodbye. Rosalie I never expected to care enough. She always seemed to wrapped up in herself to care. Then again, she was extremely loyal to her family and didn't want to see them put in unnecessary dangers. I could reason with that.
The three that probably hurt worst were my best friend and surrogate parents. I understand why the others left without a word but Carlisle, Esme and Alice made no sense. I guess I was just a pet to them. I truly was blinded by love.
Then there's him. I can't even say his name without losing all sense of control. I'm getting better though. After months of being a zombie and losing all my friends, only one person stayed by my side. My Jacob. He was the sun I needed in my life to keep my from falling over the edge.
After Charlie threatened to send me to my mom, I decided I needed to at least try to live again. I even spent a day with Jessica. That didn't turn out so well. I found sanctuary in La Push. Ironic since it was the one place the Cullen's couldn't go, therefore it wasn't tainted with memories.
Jacob. He showed me how to live again. How to smile and actually mean it. He didn't sugar coat things and gave it to you straight. I loved spending time with him. Even when the dork twins showed up. We all had a blast together. I feel free when I'm with Jake. Almost whole. I wasn't afraid to be myself or just have a breakdown. He was there for me when they left and I was there for him and Quil when Embry left to join Sam's crew.
Jacob was my sun. the only one who stuck by me. Even my dad pulled way. La Push was more my home now. I loved Jake with all my heart. Just not enough I suppose. I knew he would give up on me eventually, but what really hurts is that he broke his promise. He never should have made the promise if he didn't intend to keep it. He hurt me. He left me. That's two for two.
I wasn't giving him up without some explanations first. He owed me that much. I at least deserved to know why he suddenly didn't want to spend time with me anymore. That was the reason behind my choice to drive to La Push and get the answers after weeks of silence and lies.
It was still fairly early on a Saturday morning but I didn't honestly care anymore. Charlie was already gone for a fishing trip with Harry, so I sat and ate breakfast alone. I didn't mind though. I looked back up at the clock and saw it was 8:30. I decided that would put me in La Push by 9:00. Good enough for me. I grabbed my keys and phone and headed to the truck.
As I drove down the familiar roadway, I couldn't help but think about what I would say. It was hard to decide since I wasn't exactly sure why he left me in the first place. Maybe he finally did just get tired of waiting for me to be ready. I was too broken. He said he would wait forever. Maybe I could try. If he would give me just a little more time I could try to love him like he wants. Then again, maybe he was just tired of trying to keep me happy.
I let my mind wonder to mindless topics as a passed the 'Welcome to La Push' sign that was at the invisible border. As I made the first turn towards Jake's house, I noticed someone walking along the side of the road. He looked really familiar. Quil. I pulled over to the side and hopped out of the truck. He turned around and gave me a sad smile when he heard me slam the door.
"Hey Quil! What are you doing?" I ran up to him and gave him a quick hug. I pulled away and could see the sadness in his eyes. It broke my heart.
"I was just taking a walk. Trying to clear my head." He shrugged his shoulders and looked down at his feet.
"Why aren't you with Jake? I hear he's out and about again. Billy said he was hanging with friends." I tried to hide the pain I felt. He was feeling good enough to hang out with friends. Guess he really didn't want me around anymore.
"Um…he doesn't talk to me anymore. He's with Sam's gang now. I just saw him with Embry and went to talk to them. They just walked off to join Sam and the rest of them. It's been weeks since I've talked to him." I could tell he was hurt by this. So it wasn't just me Jake had left hanging.
"I know the feeling. I figured he just got tired of waiting for me to love him like he wanted. He was fine and then he got sick. I haven't heard from him in two weeks and Billy wont tell me anything." I could feel the tears start to come but I was more angry now than anything.
How dare he. What would posses someone to just abandoned his friends. Not just to find someone knew to hang out with but a group he swore never to have anything to do with? Hurting me was one thing, I was used to it. But Quil is one of the sweetest people I know. Yes he's crazy and flirts with anything, but he's loyal. Like I thought Jacob was.
"What do you mean? You two were inseparable last time you were out here. I didn't think anything would pull you guys apart." He had a look of complete shock on his face.
"Yeah well, I'm kind of getting used to people close to me walking away." It was my turn to look at the ground.
"Hey do you wanna go hang out? Go to the beach or something? We both could probably use the friend right now." It really sounded like a good idea, and truth be told I did need a friend right now.
"Actually, I was headed to Jake's to get some answers. Why don't you come with me? I could definitely use the support and you deserve some answers too. Then we can hang out." He looked up at me and seemed to struggle. He seemed to finish an argument with himself and smiled at me.
"Let's do it!" There was the Quil I knew starting to peek. Maybe he was finally growing up a little. I just hope he didn't lose too much of his humor.
We got back into the truck and took off for Jacob's house. Hopefully, we won't have to wait too long to see him. I just couldn't wait to ask him what was up. The car ride was silent. I could tell that Quil was in deep thought and I didn't want to disturb him. This day was probably going to be emotional for all. We shall see.
My heart started to pound harder as I pulled into the driveway at the all too familiar little red house that had become my home. I put the truck in park and turned it off. I took a couple deep breaths to calm myself. I looked over at Quil and gave him a small smile.
"You ready for this?" I took one more deep breath and hopped out of the truck. Quil stopped at the front of the truck and grabbed my arm.
"No matter what, we'll still be friends right?" I nodded and gave him a hug. Here goes nothing.
We walked up the ramp to the front door and gave each other one last look. Just as I raised my fist to knock on the door, it was pulled open to reveal a very pissed off looking Jacob. There was another emotion in his eyes but I couldn't place it. What surprised me was his size. It had only been two weeks but he looked like a twenty year old.
He was at least six foot seven. His muscles were extremely well defined. You could see each one ripple as he moved, made easier by the fact that he wasn't wearing a shirt. What shocked me most was that his once beautiful hair was cut short and close to his head. He also had a tattoo that I knew wasn't there before.
"What do you two want?" I was pulled out of my evaluation of him by an ice cold voice that couldn't belong to my Jacob.
I looked up with shock clearly evident on my face only to be met by four other huge men. I recognized Sam Uley right away but didn't know any of the others. I had mixed feelings about Sam. He had been the one to find me, yet he was responsible for Jake's new attitude. Now I was just getting angry.
"We would like to know what happened to our best friend? Or do we not matter anymore now that you have your precious gang?" I heard a few growls come from the group and just shook my head. I was used to that. I hung out with vampires for crying out loud.
I realized he wasn't going to say anything. I wasn't usually an angry person but I was tired of being walked all over. I was done with it. He was going to give me the answers the easy way or the hard way. It was his choice. Either way I wasn't leaving.
"Do you think we could go take a walk or is that not allowed?" I glared at Sam when I said the last part. I saw Jake look at him like asking for permission. Sam nodded and Jacob started walking towards the woods. I looked at Quil and we just followed. This was it.
Following Jake into the woods wasn't exactly the easiest task in the world. He decided to practically run and take what seemed like the most impossible path. I fell a few times, but nothing too serious. Every couple of minutes Quil would help steady me. I wasn't watching in front of me because I was trying not to fall again. My lack of attention caused me to smack head on into a half naked Jacob, knocking me into Quil.
"What do you want Bella?" He was talking through clenched teeth which confused me. This wasn't the Jacob that helped me through everything. No. This was Sam's Jacob. Cold and distant.
"I don't get it Jake. I kind of understand you ditching me but why Quil? He was your best friend long before we started to hang out. What did either of us do to you? Or is it Sam?" I noticed him start to vibrate a little bit. He was clenching and unclenching his fists at his side.
"Sam had nothing to do with this. Don't blame him. He's just trying to help." Help? By keeping him from his friends. Yeah that makes perfect sense.
"I thought you said that he was bad news. Evil. You promised you would never have anything to do with him. Is that your new thing now? Breaking promises." By this point my emotions started to betray me and the traitorous tears started to flow.
"This isn't Sam's fault! You have no idea what you're talking about! You wanna blame someone…blame those damn leeches you love so much!" His shaking was getting even worse. He was actually starting to scare me a little. I noticed Quil take a step in front of me. Then I realized what Jake had said. Did he know the stories were true?
"I don't know what you're talking about. What the hell do the Cull…they have anything to do with my best friend abandoning two people he claimed to care about?" Jacob took a step closer causing Quil to push me further behind him.
"Save it Bella." The tears were free falling now. Mostly out of anger but also due to the fact that the guy that stood in front of us wasn't my best friend anymore. Quil decided to take this time to talk.
"Dude. You really need to calm down. All we wanted was some answers. To talk to our friend. Maybe fix whatever we seemed to do wrong." Jake closed his eyes and took a deep breath. When he opened his eyes again, there was an emotion I wasn't sure I caught correctly. It almost looked like guilt or regret. Sorrow maybe.
"We can't be friends anymore. We're no good for each other anymore. Don't come see me anymore. Either of you. I wont be there. Just…just go." That was all I could take. My knees gave out and I fell to the floor. Quil was at my side quickly. I looked up to see Jacob struggling with some internal battle.
"So that's it? You're just going to throw away all the years of friendship? For what? To join some gang of goons that will probably leave you the first chance they get?" I've never heard Quil so assertive. He always reminded me of Emmett with his jokes and care free attitude.
"You promised." Was all I could manage to get out. Even then it was a whisper. I couldn't take anymore. I stood up with a little help and turned to leave.
"Bella wait…it's just…better this way." I stopped and turned to look at him.
"Don't Jake. I'm sorry I ever came into your life." I turned to leave again not wanting to look at him any more. I heard him call for Quil. I just kept walking until I heard a loud boom almost like two rocks colliding. I turned to see Jake bent over holding his chin and Quill walking towards me shaking his hand.
Without another word, Quil grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the woods. When we made it to the edge of the trees, I stopped him and made him turn to look at me.
"What happened back there?" I pulled his injured hand up my face to look at.
I stayed silent most of the time that Bella was talking to Jacob. I couldn't believe the way he was acting. It was like he was a completely different person standing in front of us. Not my so called best friend. When he started to yell back at Bella and shake, I wasn't sure what he was going to do.
I felt the need to step up and protect her. I pulled her behind me as she continued to tell him off. He was being ridiculous. It's like they took his brain and replaced it with that of a robot or something. I didn't get it. First Embry and now Jake. His next words shot through me like a red hot poker.
"We can't be friends anymore. We're no good for each other anymore. Don't come see me anymore. Either of you. I wont be there. Just…just go." Was he serious? I couldn't believe that. Well I guess he has new friends now. He wasn't going to have anyone once they decided he didn't belong with them.
"So that's it? You're just going to throw away all the years of friendship? For what? To join some gang of goons that will probably leave you the first chance they get?" He tried smoothing things out with Bella but she wasn't having any of it. I went to go catch up with her when Jake called me back.
"Keep your distance from Bella. I don't want to see her hurt when you have to leave too." He looked sincere but he just pissed me off. I pulled back my hand and snapped it forward, connecting with his jaw. It hurt like hell but it was worth it.
"You don't get to decide who I'm friends with. And about hurting her, you just took care of that. Congratulations. Hope you're happy with your new friends." With that I turned to catch up with Bella, shaking my hand slightly.
I caught up to her and grabbed her hand pulling her along. I can't believe he just said that to me. Why would I hurt the last person I have left to call a friend? I wasn't him. When we got to the edge of the trees she stopped me and asked what happened. She was checking out my injured hand, which was actually starting to feel better.
"He deserved to be knocked down a level. He tried telling me to keep away from you. So I punched him." I looked down as a told her this. She pulled on my hand to get my attention.
"Hey, thank you." She gave me a sad smile and we headed back to her truck.
The closer we got, the madder I became at Jacob. He was the one to fix Bella after what happened with Cullen and now he was the one breaking her again. Then to top it all off, he tries to tell me who I can befriend. I was so done. I looked up to see Embry with a sympathetic look. Why did he care? He left too.
"Don't give me that look Em. You left too. At least he told me we couldn't be friends." With that I grabbed Bella and we hopped in her truck.
"You can just take me home. I understand if you don't want to hang out anymore." Bella looked over at me and just smiled a small smile.
"No. We're going to the beach and having fun. I'm done letting men dictate my happiness anymore. Let's go." I nodded and we headed to the beach.
I was going to make a promise to myself today. I would stay friends with her no matter what. I wasn't going to walk out on her like so many have done. This is going to be the start of a beautiful friendship.
Hey it didn't hurt that she was hot!
A/N: So that was the start. I know it's just backtrack stuff, but it's sets up Quil and Bella's friendship a little. I hope you guys stick with me. Thank you to those that have been with me since I started writing. To those that are new...I hope you enjoy. Please check out my other story. Any questions or comments feel free to leave them! I answer them all!!