This is midnight sun where it leaves off. I skip alot in this part, because frankly, i don't give a damn about this part. I'll rewrite it later, i just wanna get to the good stuff. Review sugar plums. :)
It wasn't long until I was back with Bella. She wasn't my Bella, but I wanted her to be. I'm sure she wouldn't approve of a vampire watching her sleep, following her… No. I couldn't allow myself to think about it. It just made me sick to my stomach.
She was dreaming about me again, but she was restless. She woke up quite a lot, probably too often for a human, and definitely too often for Bella. She never tossed and turned.
"Don't…Don't go, Edward," She pleaded.
The feeling that warmed my chest made my head spin. My heart felt as if it were about to beat, my eyes shining brighter than they ever had. My unconditional love for Bella was one of the worst things that had happened to her. Luckily, I had so much self control, I couldn't live-or exist-without her.
I just wanted to touch her, once. To feel what it would be like to hold her in my arms. I wanted to let my lips brush against her cheek, slowly. My hand brushing back her silky brown hair from her soft, warm, pulsing neck.
My thoughts were beginning to darken, and went the direction I feared most.
Alice's vision flooded my mind again. Bella was cold and lifeless in my arms. My eyes were bright red, but sad, for I had killed Bella. I couldn't stop the pooling of venom in my mouth, but I stopped breathing. I couldn't risk her life when she was sleeping. She didn't even know I was here.
Besides, I had to worry about Alice attacking me. She was probably getting sick of waiting to talk to Bella, but I wanted some time with her before my favorite sister decided to have some "girl time."
The first break of dawn.
I hated leaving Bella for one minute, but I decided to take Bella to school once again. This would give me the maximum amount of time to talk to Bella. She was like a drug, I had to get another fix.
I thought about her the whole way as I ran back home, and was unsurprised to see Alice waiting for me. Of course, she saw me decide to come home. She was really watching closely.
Please, Alice thought in a slightly badgered tone. I really want to talk to Bella! We're going to be best friends, Edward.
"Alice, not today," I replied. "You'll get to talk soon, just give me some time."
I know you want her to yourself, She teased. But Edward, she loves me too, or she will, and I want her to be happy, just as much as you want her to be. Her thoughts grew suddenly distressed. I know you're trying to fog up the future, and I'm not happy about that. She glared at me. But you can't change this one Edward, your mind is set. This future I'm certain of, you and Bella are set in stone.
If it could, my heart would have skipped a beat. This is what I wanted-no, needed to hear. I was being selfish though. I didn't deserve Bella, and I never would. But I loved Alice, and I had to thank her for being so supportive. She should have told me to kill her by now, but she never would, knowing that would kill me too.
"Okay, Alice. Thank you. For everything, and I really mean that."
Edward! Emmett called in his thoughts. Are you telling your love story? Or can we leave? I don't want to sit in the front of my math class, I'll be forced to pay attention.
I couldn't help but chuckle at him. Alice's face was blank, and I saw her vision with her.
I was questioning Bella about everything on the way to school, she was tired. I was wearing a pale sweater and Khakis, and she was wearing a God awful brown sweater. I had to admit, she pulled it off okay, but it was a terrible color.
You're not coming with us are you? Alice accused. You should let me come, but I've seen you answer and I don't want to get you upset. Go ahead. Go take her, Her face slipped into a pout. Without me, but I'm telling you. I'll see her soon. She perked up at her own words, and sprinted out the door.
I ran to my closet. Hmm. What should I wear today? The decision was almost instantaneous thanks to Alice's help, and I was in my Volvo. I heard Rosalie groan, but I really didn't care. I missed Bella. I needed to see her.
When I got to her house, I parked and turned off the engine. I got out of the car and went around to the side closest to her window. Hopefully she'd see me.
I thought about the possibility of us. I wanted it more than anything I've ever wanted.
I wanted to tell her how much I really loved her.
I wanted to hold her in my arms.
I wanted to kiss her, feel her warm lips against mine.
I'm a monster, there was nothing she should want with me. I could kill her, I could kill my love simply on accident. I mustn't ever touch her. Not to kiss her, hug her… sweep back her hair.
My thoughts went darker, but not the usual monster. Instead, I was like Mike Newton. That vile creature did nothing but fantasize about Bella, and now I was like him. As much as the thought repulsed me, I couldn't help it. I was a seventeen year old boy, and I couldn't change my state of mind.
My thoughts went back to Bella-with clothes on. Would she ever be repulsed me? I'll test her. Hopefully she didn't run away screaming at my icy touch. Then again, she always surprised me.
I heard her coming down the steps, and I got in the car, and turned up the heat.
I saw her coming out of the corner of my eye, but I didn't want to stare at her, to make her uncomfortable. She hesitated before coming in, and a knot formed in my stomach.
Did she not want to see me as I wanted to see her?
She got in after a moment, but the unease took a minute to go away.
Bella. Oh, Bella… The most beautiful creature I've ever seen. Her sweater was hideous, but it didn't matter. It helped me from thinking about her. It showed the soft curves of her body, showed off her the way her collar bones looked, but I stopped looking there. I really didn't want to be Mike Newton.
My throat was on fire. Not the usual fire, not as strong. Maybe it was possible to become desensitized. I'd been spending enough time around her, even if she was sleeping, I was still with her. The burn didn't bother me. The monster didn't awaken. Feel the burn, I told myself, Feel the burn.
"Good Morning," I said. My voice was rather soft today, being back with her. I wondered if it was sinking in how much I loved her. Knowing Bella, she probably noticed, and hopefully she loved me back. I was quite worried about her, so I asked, "How are you today?"
"Good, thank you," She said, but what was she thinking? She had that look on her face. She wasn't saying thank you. She was saying something else, but I didn't spend enough time around her to know, and I regretted every second that I spent away.
I scrutinized her face. Ah. Dark circles. "You look tired," I said, becoming a little anxious. She should sleep, was something bugging her? Maybe she should stay home?
"I couldn't sleep," she confessed. Well neither could I, silly girl. Should I say it? Yes.
"Neither could I," I teased her, it was getting to be quite easy now.
She laughed. "I guess that's right. I suppose I slept just a little bit more than you did."
Of course she did. I can't sleep. I wished I could, not to escape purgatory or hell, but to dream. My life was no longer an eternity of emptiness. I had a reason to be here, but she probably wanted nothing to do with me. I wanted to dream about her, to dream about a life we could never share.
"I'd wager you did," replying to her earlier statement.
"So what did you do last night?" She asked.
I just spent the night watching you sleep. Pretty much a normal night, Bella. You even said my name. By the way, I love you.
There was no way I'd answer that. Thankfully I had a perfect poker face to hide my shame.
"Not a chance, it's my day to ask the questions," I chuckled. Laughing was good, she couldn't see through my mask, and it felt easy with Bella, natural.
"Oh, that's right. What do you want to know?" There was a little crease on her forehead, like she was confused that I wanted to know about her. Did she not understand that she fascinated me? Or that I was unconditionally in love with her?
I tried to think of something I didn't know. There was a lot I did know, from watching her sleep, but there were so many questions I was dying to know. I started with something simple, I didn't want to upset her. "What's your favorite color?"
She rolled her eyes at me, and my expression became solemn. "It changes from day to day."
What? I've had the same favorite color for years. Green, the color my eyes had been. After I had Bella, it changed of course. I loved the color blue, and the way it showcased her perfect skin. It was like cream and roses, and a certain shade set off her skin exquisitely.
"What's your favorite color today?" I was honestly curious. This girl kept surprising me.
"Probably brown," she replied.
I snorted, such an odd answer. Most people liked "pretty" colors. I've seen a million minds, and even though I can't see Bella's, it is the most unique mind I've ever dealt with. "Brown?" I was beginning to question her sanity.
"Sure. Brown is warm. I miss brown. Everything that's supposed to be brown-tree trunks, rocks, dirt- is all covered up with squashy green stuff here." Her voice was getting agitated with her little rant, but all I saw was her cute tiger-kitten outrage.
I looked into her eyes, and an overwhelming urge to touch her warm, soft skin influenced my actions without even thinking. My face grew serious, as I said, "You're right, brown is warm." I reached over, a little hesitant, and swept her hair back behind her shoulder. She was beautiful, and it made my frozen heart ache. I would give anything to be human for her.
We were getting close to the school and I fired another question. My face was full of sadness I couldn't rein in. I just wanted to be with her. "What's in your CD player right now?"
"Muse," she said. Wow. I didn't know Bella would enjoy classical, Debussy, and a nice bit of rock too. Another surprise, but then again, I could never be surprised, because I knew she was going to say the opposite of what I was thinking.
I reached under my seat and pulled it out of a CD case I had and handed to her.
"Debussy to this?" I raised an eyebrow. She blushed of course, which was no surprise.
The questions continued all day. All through classes and lunch. I really paid attention to her. I wanted to know everything she loved and hated.
"What's your favorite gemstone?" I had fired another question.
"Topaz," she blurted out, and another blush came. Why would she blush?
"Tell me," I encouraged. I wanted to know everything.
"It's the color of your eyes today. I suppose if you asked me in two weeks I'd say onyx." Yes. Maybe she loved me too. If she liked topaz because of my eyes, she must like more about me. Maybe my scent, maybe the charm I used around humans. Whatever it was, I hoped for the best. I truly loved Bella, and would never be happy without her.
I didn't want to pause for too long, so I started up with more questions. I continued with the interrogations every second I had.
I scooted my chair a little farther from her this time, but the craving to touch her still ran through my body. I could not touch her, I would always want more. I'd want to wrap my arms around her, kiss her, and it would all be too much. The monster inside of me rejoiced as the thought of me losing all of my control invaded my mind.
Bella, cold, white, bleeding, and lifeless. My worst nightmare, but my monster's dream. I did not want to kill Bella. She was everything in the world to me. She gave my existence purpose once again. I could never leave her side, but I could never end her life.
She was sitting in the same position as me, tensed up as the electricity flowed through us. It was an amazing feeling, but I couldn't touch her. The room was dark, but I did not want anyone to know about us, if there was a chance I wouldn't bring her back from this event Saturday.
The lights flickered on, and I relaxed, as did she. I didn't really need to, just another act to blend in. Although Bella needed too, and she looked quite sore from being bunched up for an hour.
I smiled at her, and motioned for her to go first. We walked to the gym, and I wanted to touch her, still. Would it be as easy as I did it yesterday? To stroke my stone hand across her warm, fragile cheek? For a split second I lost control, and stroked the back of my hand across her cheek. She looked dazzled, and I wanted to laugh at her expression.
What does she see in him? Mike Newton saw us. Ugh. It's gotta be money! I'm so much better looking than him! And why did he have to pick Bella? That…doctor…money…sex… His thoughts were incoherent as he began to fantasize again. Disgusting. I blocked him out.
I walked wordlessly from Bella to my car. I listened to music, and just thought about us. Bella and I could be nothing more than friends, but at least we were friends, or trying to be.
I basically took a up a new hobby, waiting for gym to be over. I watched Bella again. She stayed in the back of the class, with Mike Newton. That name flowed anger and hatred throughout my body. Luckily gym was over, so I hopped out of my car, and walked inside to wait for her.
When she saw me, her face lit up, as did mine. This is getting to be too much…
Of course, the questions continued, I couldn't let up for a second. Then, I wonder what Bella's doing, maybe dinner? No. It was Charlie.
"Are you finished?" She asked relieved.
"Not even close-but your father will be home soon."
"Charlie!" She sighed, seeming to forget about him. "How late is it?" She asked, and I gave her my best answer.
"It's twilight," I murmured. The safest, easiest time for us. We could walk among humans any day, the sun shining or not. As soon as the clouds or night obscured the sun's rays, we were free.
Bella's eyes were confused, so I told her, "It's the safest time of day for us. The easiest time. But also the saddest, in a way…the end of another day, the return of night. Darkness is so predictable, don't you think?" I smiled, if you could smile sadly, I was doing it.
The next days past in a blur. I didn't notice what I was saying.
Until now. I was picking her up in the morning.
I needed to see her sooner, so I ran to her house.
She was sleeping peacefully.
I couldn't stay much longer, Alice was taking me hunting yet again.
I touched her cheek, and whispered,"I love you Bella, forever."
I ducked out the window, and had one last glance.
I really love you.
OKAY! Review. I'd like the write the rest of this book. :)