Jim could feel his fingers shaking as he waited at the church for the wedding of Pam and Roy to start. He had promised himself that he wasn't going to come to this wedding. Anything would have been better than watching the woman he loved, marrying a guy who was completely wrong for her, or wrong for anyone for that matter. But instead of chickening out and going to Australia, he decided to stay in Scranton, and support his best friend. Trying to avoid seeing the two perfectly, he sat in the very last row, staring at the ceiling. Everyone else was cheerfully talking, waiting for the wedding to start. Everyone from work was sitting closer to the front, which Jim didn't mind, he would have rather not heard them talk about it. Or in some of their cases, telling him how sorry they were as Pam said 'I do'.

Right in this moment he had never regretted anything more. Why had he come here? Even though Pam was his best friend, she would more than likely not even notice Jim was here. And even if she had, it would only be a few moments of excitement, her throwing him in a hug, then she would go to the next person. His fingers began to tap the side of the pew he was sitting on, wishing he had just gone to Australia, like he originally planned. It was in that moment that Jim decided that he was just going to go home, being here wasn't worth it.

Before Jim could even get up to leave, the doors of the church opened, and soft music began playing. He sighed, before rearranging himself, and looking towards the opened doors. Pulling on his tux, he held his breath as everyone in the church stood up. Looking at the ground, he then saw a foot appear from the doorway. Against his better judgment he switched his eyesight up, and saw Pam, in a sleeveless dress, hair in a loose ponytail, and a beautiful smile. His heart jumped, he couldn't believe how beautiful she looked. Without expecting it, he realized Pam wasn't looking ahead of her. She was nervously looking at the crowd, and her eyes set on Jim. Knowing he had to do something, and ignore his heart, he brightly smiled at her. Jim could see all of her teeth as she smiled back at him, and then continued to walk, as if she hadn't just looked Jim straight in the eyes. He sunk back down to his awkward seating position and stared at the floor in which Pam had just taken her steps. Why was he here?

Is that seat taken?
Would you like to take a walk with me?

Thumping your fingers across a table was something that Jim never thought of as addictive, but it proved to be as he sat, staring at the table. He didn't understand why Pam had sat him with all of the people from the office, but then again he didn't really know much anybody else. And from the looks of it, a bunch of the people there were Roy's, already drunken, buddies. But he tried to ignore that, and any 'that's what she said' moments heard at what seemed to be the official Dunder-Mufflin table.

Suddenly the music was lowered down as it was time to introduce the new Mr. and Mrs. Roy Anderson. Even this moment became hard for Jim, and as everyone stood up, Jim didn't, but instead stayed where he was sitting. Nothing made him more sick than applauding this marriage. This marriage between two people who were complete opposites. A nice, funny, cute girl, and a total jackass. Jim flicked at his glass with frustration, making it ding, as the doors opened and in walked Pam and Roy.

When he brought his head up, he couldn't help but notice Pam looking more beautiful and radiate than he had ever seen her before. It completely broke his heart that it was because of some other guy. He shook his head with frustration. No. If Pam had married a nice, civil guy, it would have still sucked, but at least he would have known that he had lost against the better man. With Roy, it just make him sad that he had to live his life without Pam because of him, and that Pam had to live with him for the rest of her life.

Everyone was still applauding as they sat down, waiting for Pam and Roy to make their speeches. They were waiting for the father/daughter dance. They were waiting for the couple's first dance. They were waiting for Pam to look out at the crowd, and thank everyone with teary eyes. Jim, himself, was watching teary eyed as Pam looked at Roy in the way that Jim had been wishing she would look at him for years... and the way he had always looked at her. He sighed a broken sigh, and looked out one of the many windows of the reception hall.

Then finally, after what seemed like forever of waiting to hear her, Pam's voice overtook everyone else in the huge room. "Hi everybody. Thank you so much for coming to this long awaited wedding." Jim wasn't watching her, but as she paused he could clearly see her giving Roy a certain look before speaking again. "Roy and I are so happy to see everyone here, and to know, that through all this, you all support us, and you all love us. Today is the day I've been waiting for all my life. And I couldn't have wished for a better guy than Roy to share this day with." Jim could almost feel his heart being ripped out as he heard these words. "Once again, thank you for everything, and have an awesome time. You better, we paid a lot of money for it." Everyone laughed at Pam's little joke, but instead Jim looked up to see Pam, with a huge smile on her face, sitting down next to Roy.

Once Roy stood up to give his speech, Jim once again looked as far away as he could. "Look at this girl. I'm lucky. Let's just hope she stays this good looking." Roy laughed out loud, then said nothing else. Being curious, Jim looked up to see that in fact Roy had already sat down. He became angry at that moment. Roy was lucky enough to get to marry Pam, and that's all he had to say? Was that he hoped she stayed attractive? Wanting to punch the daylights out of him, Jim clenched his fist, but let it go once the two began to dance. His heart dropped, he couldn't take this anymore. It only took a matter of seconds before Jim had stood up, and began to walk to the door. But without even thinking about it, he took one last look at Pam. No one could ever mean as much to him as she did. So he stayed standing near the door, waiting for his chance to talk to her, to congratulate her, to... hold her in a hug.

My mind it kind of goes fast,
I'll try to slow it down for you.
I think I'd love to take a drive.
I want to give you something I've been wanting to give to you for years.
My heart.

He didn't stay standing by the door after all the dances and speeches were done. Instead he went to talk to everyone from the office. He didn't feel like being a party pooper anymore, and he didn't feel like being sunk in his own self pity. But he waited... he waited till he saw Pam alone. It took about an hour of watching Michael on the dance floor, Ryan take advantage of the free bar, and Kelly talking to some strangers about some celebrities before he noticed Pam with an empty seat next to her. She had been talking to some family members, before they had walked away to get themselves a drink, or whatever they were getting up to do.

Placing a smile on his face, Jim walked over to where Pam was. Seeing her smile up at him left a bright feeling in his chest. When he sat next to her, he finally felt comfortable for the first time that day, pushing the thought that she was now married out of his head. "Hey Beesly." He said to her, becoming successful with forgetting she was now married, and that this wasn't her last name anymore.

She laughed slightly, the bright look overcoming her eyes. "I'm not a Beesly anymore, Jim." It was hard to ignore the smile that was now plastered on her face. It overcame her head so much that it was almost impossible to notice any other feature of her face.

"Right. That doesn't mean I'm ever going to call you anything else."

"And I'm ok with that." The smile wouldn't leave her face, not even for a second.

"How does it feel to finally be married?" He asked, almost in a mean way. There was no way he meant it in a mean way, that's just the way it had come out. It was hard not to be bitter about this whole thing.

But yet, that smile still didn't fade. "It's awesome. It's good to know that Roy actually does love me." A laugh escaped her lips, and the happy look in her eyes partly faded a little bit as she noticed Jim wasn't going to laugh with her. "I'm just glad that I've finally reached this part of my life."

"Do you want to go on a walk?" Jim asked, almost ignoring what Pam had had to say.

"What?" Pam asked, looking surprised.

"It's loud in here. And I really want to talk to you. Can we go for a walk?"

Pam's head turned to where Roy was, at the bar, drunkenly talking to his friends. He wouldn't notice if she was gone for a few minutes, and Jim was her best friend. She looked back at Jim, with the smile back. "Sure."

My heart, my pain won't cover up.
You left me.
My heart can't take this cover up.
You left me.

Pam locked her arms around Jim's arm, who was holding her close to avoid the cold nipping at her bare shoulders. After they had walked outside, Jim had realized how stupid going outside with her in a wedding dress and him in his tux was... but he almost didn't care as he looked down at the top of Pam's head. "We can't walk far away from the hotel." Pam said, placing her hand on the top of her head, protecting her hair from the wind.

"I know." He laughed. "I wasn't planning on kidnapping you or anything."

His heart lightened as he heard Pam's laugh join his. "I know you wouldn't take me away from Roy like that."

And just like that his heart dropped again. Why did it have to be Roy she married? "Pam..."

When she looked up at him, it felt as if a stake had been jammed into his heart. "Yeah Jim?"

As he opened his mouth to say something to her, he heard the footsteps of someone else. Both Jim and Pam looked up as they saw an elderly couple, holding hands, and walking on the sidewalk towards them. They both had wide smiles on their faces, and Jim soon noticed the woman had small tears in her eyes. "Congratulations." The elderly man said as they continued to walk past them.

Pam opened her mouth to tell them that they were not indeed the ones who had just married, but before she could say anything, the woman said, "By the way he's holding you, and looking at you... you've found yourself a keeper." She then winked at Pam, before turning around to look up at her husband with a certain sparkle in her eyes that Jim rarely ever saw a person give another person.

When they were well out of sight, Pam turned to Jim and laughed. "I can't believe they thought we were the ones who got married."

"Yeah... can't believe it..." Jim barely said back, staring at Pam with what he imagined was the very same look the woman had just given her husband.

"I'm so glad you didn't go to Australia after all, Jim. I don't think I could have pushed through this wedding knowing you weren't here."

"No." He quietly said. "You don't need me for anything."

"Of course I do. You're my best friend."

"You know I only came because of how much I care about you, right?"

"Thank you."

"You look beautiful." Slipped out of his mouth before he was able to handle the words.

She blushed a deep red color. "Thank you Jim. And you look rather dashing."

He sighed, looking at the ground. "Yeah."

Finally, after what seemed like forever, Pam noticed that something was bothering him. "Jim... are you ok?"

When he looked back down at Pam, she couldn't help but notice the tears in his eyes.

I came to see the light in my best friend.
You seemed as happy as you'd ever been.
My chance of being open was broken,
And now you're Mrs. Him.

"Pam, you're my best friend." Jim said, grabbing onto her hands, and looking at the way they lay in his own hands.

"You're mine too Jim. What's going on?" She continued to look up at him, the brightness that had been in her presence the entire day was no longer there. The only thing that was there was worry for her best friend.

"I have something I want to tell you, but I don't know how to say it. And I don't know why I didn't say it before now."

"Jim...?" She quietly asked, taking her hands out of his.

"Why did you marry him?"


His eyes finally went back to Pam's face as he began to feel the anger bubbling up inside of him. "Why did you marry Roy, Pam? He treats you like complete and utter shit. When was the last time he told you he loved you, and you could tell he meant it? And that wedding speech... what was that? He just got to marry you, he should be the happiest he's ever been in his life. Not hoping that you end up staying hot as you two grow old together. I mean, honestly Pam, do you see yourself with him twenty years from now?"

"Yes." She said, not even taking a second more to think about it. "I love him with all my heart. And how dare you... Jim. He just doesn't show emotions well in public."

"It's your wedding day. Everyone opens up on their wedding day."

Tears began to pierce her eyes. "You don't know him like I do."

"Pam, he doesn't deserve you. Anyone who treats you like that doesn't deserve to be with you, twenty years from now. They don't deserve to be with you at all."

"Why are you saying this all to me Jim? Why? It's my freaking wedding day and all you're doing here is making me cry. You're my best friend Jim. Why didn't you tell me this earlier? Why..." She trailed off, not being able to say anymore. Her eyes were glued on Jim's.

"I was too afraid before."

"Afraid of what?"

"What you would say..."

"What I would say to what?"

My words they don't come out right,
But I'll try to say I'm happy for you.
I think I'm going to take that drive.
I want to give you something I've wanted to give to you for years.
My heart.

"Damnit Pam, I'm usually not this way. I hate being this way. But today, you looking so beautiful. And you marrying another man..."


"I'm happy for you Pam. I really am. But I have something I need to tell you."

"Oh Jim."

"I'm in love you... Pam."


"I'm really sorry if that's weird for you to hear, but I needed you to hear it. Probably not good timing. I know that, I just..."

"What are you doing? What do you expect me to say to that?"

"I just needed you to know. Once."

"Well... I can't..."


"You have no idea..."

"Don't do that..."

"...what your friendship means to me."

"Come on. I don't want to do that. I want to be more than that."

"I can't. I'm sorry if you misinterpreted things. It's probably my fault..."

"Not your fault. I'm sorry I misinterpreted our friendship." Jim held back tears as he began to walk away, leaving Pam outside the hotel, leaning against the wall.

My heart, my pain won't cover up.
You left me.
My heart.
My heart can't take this cover up.
You left me.

As Jim walked quickly back into the room filled with dancing people and drunken conversations, he went to go grab his coat. "Where's Pamalamadingdong?" Michael came up to him, asking.

"Outside." Jim plainly answered, trying his hardest to avoid crying even harder, or letting Michael know what had just happened.

"Why did you leave her out there?"

"No reason, Michael. Ok?"

"Wait... are you leaving?" Michael asked, finally realizing Jim had his car keys in his hand, jiggling them.

"Yes. I am."

"The party just started."

"Two hours ago."

"Either way. You can't leave. What's a party without Jimbob?"

Jim sighed. "It doesn't matter if I leave."

"Jim." Michael, becoming more serious than usual. "What happened?"

He sighed once again. What else did he have to lose? "Remember on the Booze Cruise when I told you I liked Pam?"


"I told her tonight."

"Tonight, Jim?"

"Yeah..." Then he ignored whatever else Michael had to say, and continued to walk towards the entrance of the room. But there stood Pam, standing in the hallway, looking at Jim, tears stained on her cheeks.

And I can't change this.
I can never take it back.
But now I can't change your mind.
You left me.

"Baby Mama Drama!" Michael yelled, staring at the two of them.

Jim rolled his eyes, and walked up to Pam. "I need to never tell Michael anything ever again."

"Yeah. That's a wise choice." Pam slightly smiled. Feeling awkward, she grabbed onto her dress and began playing with the beading. "You really do love me, don't you?"

"Yeah. I do. Why do you ask?"

"That woman said something, about the way you looked at me. I guess I never noticed it before..."

"I'm sorry Pam. I really shouldn't have..."

"Jim. Stop. Can we not talk about this here?"

When he followed where Pam was staring, Jim found himself looking at Roy, a broken expression on her face. "Um. Yeah. But how bout we just go to the lobby this time?"

"No. We can stay here. I just don't want to be in the eyesight of everyone."

Jim turned back around to see no one even paying attention to them. He shrugged before going in the corner by the doorway. She followed after him, and stayed a few feet away from him. "What's up?" Jim asked, not being able to look at her.

"I'm sorry that this had to happen this way. You... you really shouldn't have told me this on my wedding day though."

"This wouldn't have ended any differently if I had told you earlier."

Jim could see her shrugging out of the corner of his eyes. "I don't know."

"What?" He asked, looking over at her.

She pushed a strand of her hair behind her ear. "It doesn't matter now Jim. I'm married. And... very much in love."

"So you're telling me I now have to completely regret not telling you earlier?"

Another shrug came from Pam's bare shoulders, her hair that had escaped from her ponytail, laying on the skin. "Like I said, I don't know." Jim opened his mouth to say something. "I'm sorry Jim. But I have to go back in there before people wonder where I've been." And without even letting him say another word, Pam went back to talk to her family members.

Not believing what had just happened, Jim leaned all the way back, letting his head hit the wall behind him. "What have I done?" He quietly asked himself out loud.

And I can't take this,
I can never take this back.
But now I can't change your mind.
Can't change your mind.
You left me.
Can't change you mind.
You left me.
You left me.
You left me.
You left me.

After another ten minutes, Jim bucked up, and walked back into the party. Without saying another word to anyone, he once again picked up the jacket he had put down before going to Pam. His eyes scanned the place, looking for Pam.

When he finally found her, she was standing with Roy, laughing at something one of the idiot friends he was still with had just said. As he looked at her, he couldn't help but hold onto his chest, wishing the pain would just go away. A single tear rolled down his cheek as he continued to look, wanting nothing more than to kiss her or... something.

Then Pam's eyesight turned to Jim. Her gaze at him lasted for a little while longer than Jim imagined it would. She then weakly smiled at him, before turning back to Roy. There it was again... the feeling of being stabbed. Not knowing what else to do, Jim walked out of the room, planning to go home. No matter how much he loved Pam, it didn't matter anymore. She was now married. He had waited too long. And he had never taken the chance he should have taken years ago.

Ignoring the desire to look back at her, he walked into the elevator, pushing the button for the lobby. The ride down took longer than it seemed to take earlier, and Jim couldn't help but release more tears. He was never the crying type, but there was just something about this moment. This moment would go down in history as the moment that broke his heart most.

Expecting it to be raining when he stepped outside, he was almost surprised that it wasn't. That's right, this wasn't a cliche movie. This was his life.

It took too long for him to get to his car, it seemed. As he walked up, he noticed a little piece on his windshield. With not really much emotion he grabbed the little piece of paper, and gripped onto it tightly.

The car seat was cold as he sat down on it. He loosened the grip on the piece of paper, and opened it to see that the words 'I'm sorry.' were written on it.

Another sigh came out of his mouth as he began rubbing his face all over, the piece of paper still in his hands. Never before had he felt this type of pain, and never before had he regretted the past so much.

Crumbling the piece of paper, he stuffed it in the glove box. Then he started the car, and drove away.

Just make it go away.
Make it go away.

(I have been inspired by this song for a long time now, then realized Jim and Pam would be perfect for it. So I wrote this story. It didn't end up exactly like I wanted it to, but I like it anyway. :) Oh, and yes, I did take the dialogue of when Jim told Pam that he loved her from the Casino Night episode. Leave me some reviews purty please. Opinions are always awesome.)