*Note: I know it's been ages. You thought i'd forgotten about you didn't you? :D Well, I didn't. I've been so busy that my writing has taken a backseat to my life. I've had a lot going on lately. I was struggling to find a way to end this story. I wasn't sure how to go about it, but I think i've done the right thing. I may end up writing a sequal to this since i've gotten so much positive feedback from it. I apologize for the very long wait, and I hope you enjoy the conclusion to "The Journal". Please review! Enjoy! -Orchid
Disclaimer: I do not own anything Twilight or Twilight related. I can only dream!
-Chapter 11- Broken Heart
I should have seen it coming. What did I think would happen? I had acted irrationally and selfishly; it was stupid of me to think that there would be no consequences.
All I could ever seem to do right was break hearts.
Jacob's heart was broken from me being in love with Edward, and Edward's heart was broken because I decided to go and give myself to Jacob. I was an erratic mess.
I wasn't sure where to look for Edward and Jacob, but I knew that if I found one I was bound to find the other. I just hope that it isn't too late.
"I'm so stupid," I said outloud...as if anyone was listening, or would listen for that matter.
I've officially ruined the only two good things in my life. Edward and Jacob.
*End Bella's POV*
Bella ran across Jacob's yard and into the forest. She didn't know where they were, but she was sure that when she got close that she'd hear them fighting.
All of a sudden, a sound like thunder came roaring up behind her. Turning, she saw massive wolves headed in her direction. She recognized the one in front as Sam, and put her hands up to gain his attention. The pack halted and Sam looked down at her, almost angrily.
Sam shifted from his wolf state, and his human eyes bore down into Bella's.
"You stand in our way Bella. Don't you think that your boyfriend has caused enough trouble without you slowing us down?" Sam said strongly.
"Wait. What are you talking about?" Bella said, confused.
Sam scoffed, "As if you didn't know. He broke the treaty. Passed onto our land, and now he has picked a fight with Jacob. It is our responsibility to sort out this mess...to end this vampire filthiness that has plagued our area for far too long."
The color drained from Bella's face. She could feel her blood run cold and her tongue felt too thick to speak.
"You can't do this Sam! It's just all a big mistake, it's my fault. Please..." Bella pleaded.
"Stand aside Bella, our quarrel is not with you," Sam said.
The wolves all growled, and Sam shifted back into his wolf form. Giving Bella a curt nod, he lept over her; followed by the rest of his pack.
Bella turned to watch them disappear swiftly into the forest.
"They're going to kill Edward..." Bella said softly, "and it's all my fault."
Breaking herself out of her daze, she ran in the direction of where the wolves had disappeared.
She was determined to stop this. Even if it meant sacrificing herself.
Finding Edward was the easy part.
The hard part was thinking about how I could do this in a way that didn't hurt Bella.
I could smell his scent all over the forest. I found him standing on top of a cliff that the tribe uses to go cliff diving. His back was turned to me, and his hands hung by his sides.
"Jacob. I knew that even an idiot like you could find me," Edward said smoothly.
He turned to face me and what I saw wasn't a good thing.
Edward's eyes were dark brown, nearly black. I knew that it meant that he hadn't fed in quite a while. His lips seemed almost blue, and his skin was chapped.
"Wow," I said mockingly, "you guys aren't lying when you say you MUST feed. You look like a walking pile of shit."
I sniffed the air loudly.
"Smells like it too," I added with a snide grin.
Edwards eyes flashed momentarily, but then returned to their normal stoic state. He walked closer to me and I had to force myself not to throw up from the smell.
Wolves are naturally repulsed by the smell of a vampire, but this was just rediculous.
He stopped when he was a few feet from me.
"You have taken something that is not yours, wolf," he warned.
I laughed shortly, "Correction...I took nothing. She came on her own free will. I'd be an idiot to refuse something that i've loved since I was old enough to understand what love is."
Edward continued to stare emotionlessly.
"And besides," I continued, "you broke the treaty by coming onto our reservation uninvited. If you hadn't, then maybe you would have never seen me taking anything."
"Well," Edward began pacing around me.
I watched him closely.
"That may be true. I did tresspass, but with good reason. Never the less, i'm glad you got here when you did."
I looked at him curiously, "Why's that?"
Edward grinned, his smile laced with poison, "It will give me time to kill you before Bella arrives."
My eyes went wide, and I felt my wolf take over.
I could feel the other members of my pack behind me. I also saw other pairs of golden eyes behind Edward.
It had begun.
*End Jacob's POV*
Bella continued to run in the direction of the wolves.
Up ahead she could hear talking, and she was relieved.
"They are talking it out, thank God," she said outloud through pants of breath.
But it was when the howls sounded that she began to panic all over again. She knew what that sound meant. It meant that the wolves were about to tear up shit. Bella pushed herself to run harder.
Without a second to spare Bella burst through the bushes and gazed at the scene before her. The wolves and vampires were a blur of fur and fangs as they zipped after each other in the clearing. Jacob was in the middle of it all, crouched into attack position. Edward was across from him, his hand raised and fangs extended.
A look of pure murder was in their eyes.
Not thinking twice, Bella closed her eyes and ran directly into the fighting. Her arms outstretched and tears flowing down her face.
She stopped only when she came in contact with a thick mass of fur and warmth.
Everything around her stopped as she hugged tightly to Jacob's neck. She could feel him shift as he went back to his human form.
His strong arms wrapped around her, and he sighed into her hair happily.
Bella looked up at him with tears falling from her eyes.
"Jacob," she stuttered, "don't do this please. It's my fault. It shouldn't be this way. I'm sorry."
Jacob blinked and shook his head as he smoothed her hair out of her face lovingly.
"It's not my decision Bella."
Bella let go of Jacob and turned to Edward, walking toward him slowly.
The members of the tribe, along with the Cullen family stopped fighting to watch with curiosity as Bella made her way over to a very pissed off Edward.
He gazed down at her. No longer with the love he usually held. This was the look of a broken heart. Bella could feel her heart ache at the sight of him.
Not only was Edward starving, worried, and stressed...he was also completely heartbroken.
Bella looked around her at the wolves and vampires...littered with bruises and cuts from fighting.
All because of her.
"Edward," she began nervously, "this isn't Jacob's fault."
"Nonsense," Edward spat. His eyes brimmed with bloody tears, "he took what wasn't his. He stole your virtue from you...FROM ME!"
Bella jumped at his raised voice. She had never heard him raise his voice at her.
"I didn't give him a choice!" Bella retaliated.
"There is always a choice, Bella," Edward said through clenched teeth.
"You're right," Bella said, "and mine was to go and seduce Jacob. I took advantage of the feelings he had for me and used it to my advantage."
Edward shook his head and gazed up to the sky.
"It's true Edward!" Bella yelled.
"Do you know how many times he refused me? How much he told me it was wrong for him to be with me out of respect for you?" Bella continued.
Edward looked down at Bella again, then over at Jacob who's jaw was flexing as he stared heatedly at Edward.
"He...tried to refuse you?" Edward said quietly; almost in a tired way, "and you persisted."
Bella nodded. She was ashamed and embarrassed of herself. It wasn't like her to force anyone into anything, especially something like what happened with Jacob.
"Edward, you have been the perfect boyfriend. You've done nothing but love me and take care of me. You've been perfect...simply perfect," Bella said and put her hand on Edward's face.
Bella looked over at Jacob.
"Jacob is imperfect," she said simply.
Jacob hung his head, "I knew it was too good to be true," he mumbled.
"But Jacob's imperfect is my perfect," Bella continued causing Jacob's head to snap up in surprise.
"Edward you are perfect, but i'm not," Bella said honestly, "and though I love you, I don't love you like I love Jacob. Perfect is not for me Edward, but i'm sure it's exactly what someone else wants."
Edward's face was streaked with blood as he cried silently in the middle of the clearing. He looked so defeated that Bella couldn't help but feel terrible. Even Jacob looked a little sorry for Edward.
Bella looked behind Edward at Alice, Carlisle, Esme, Rosalie, Jasper, and Emmett. They shifted nervously.
"I love you all. I really do, but this has to stop. It was my decision to do what I did. Jacob and his tribe shouldn't be punished for my actions," Bella said wiping tears from her face.
"Bella," Alice said with her tiny voice, "I love you. You are like a sister to me. I can never hate you for this. I can't hate someone for trying to find happiness."
"I won't lie. I don't like you very much right now," Rosalie said with her arms crossed, "I won't forgive you for what you have done to my brother...to our family."
Bella hung her head, and Edward turned to put his hand up to silence Rosalie.
"You're right," Edward said, "I guess i'm to blame too in all of this. I did tresspass on the treaty."
Edward looked up to gaze at the wolves.
"I offer my apologies," he said cooly, "and Bella if this is what you desire, it is yours. I swore to always make you happy. If it takes letting you go off into the arms of another man, then so be it."
"Well, it saves you from having to change me into a vampire," Bella said akwardly.
Edward chuckled briefly, "I suppose it does."
In the blink of an eye, the Cullens were gone.
No goodbyes, nothing.
Bella looked around, but saw no trace of them. It was like they were never there to begin with. The emptiness began to set in.
Dropping to her knees, Bella put her head in her hands and let sobs wrack her body.
Jacob kneeled down to take her in his arms. He looked over his shoulder and nodded at his pack, signaling that it was okay for them to leave.
"Bella," Jacob said softly, "don't cry, please."
"Make love to me Jacob," Bella said softly.
Jacob blinked in surprise. This was the last thing he had expected her to request.
It may seem rediculous to anyone else, but to Bella it made perfect sense. She needed Jacob...she needed him to repair the hole in her heart, and to replace the emptiness left by Edward's departure.
Jacob looked down at her and slowly brought his lips to hers.
The waves below crashed against the cliffside, and the sun had began to set as they made love to each other under the twilight sky.
Jacob finally had what he had always wanted.
And Bella finally had her Jacob.