A/N: 'Sup, guys! Guess what? I didn't get accepted to the boarding school that I applied for... But really, it's okay. I mean, one door closes, and another opens, right? =D Anyways, this idea just came to me while I was taking this quiz. And yes, the quiz really DOES exist. You can take this quiz at semeuke . com. Just remove the space. =) Oh, and for the sake of this fic, I removed question no. 10, which asked about vehicles... So... yeah...

And, Life In A Boarding School chapter 10 is halfway done. =)


Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. =)

Warning: Not suitable for little kiddies. XD


Seme and Uke Quiz


"Sakura!!!" Ino screamed and entered Sakura's apartment.

Sakura's head poked out from the kitchen and looked questioningly at Ino. "What is it, Ino? Did Shikamaru and Temari go out again? 'Coz I'm not gonna interrupt their supposed date. Again." Sakura said sternly.

"It's not about that! And how am I supposed to know they were only discussing about the upcoming Chuunin exams?! Anyways, take a look at this quiz!" Ino said and showed Sakura her magazine.

Sakura walked out of the kitchen and took the magazine from Ino's hand, then looked back at the blond. "So?"

"So?! So I want you to take this quiz!" Ino yelled.

Sakura winced. "No need to shout, Ino-pig!"

"So, you're taking it?" Ino asked, softly, I might add, this time.

Sakura shrugged. "I don't have anything to do for the rest of the afternoon." Ino grinned gleefully. "Great!"


1. Do you enjoy licking things?

[ ] Whatever's in front of me. *licks lips*

[X] What the hell's wrong with you?

[ ] No, not really.

[ ] Only if I'm forced to.

[ ] Do you want me to?

[ ] Ask me again and I'll kick your ass.


"What the hell, Ino?!"

"C'mon, Forehead! Just tick one!"

"Tch. Fine."


2. Have you ever bought hair dye for yourself?

[ ] Every week. I just bought this new shade of pink today!

[ ] You hate my hair, don't you?

[X] *death glare*

[ ] No, but I'd like to try it.

[] Not for myself, but I would for my partner.

[ ] Only when I'm putting it in someone's shampoo bottle when they're not looking.

[ ] It's not really my thing.


Ino laughed out loud.

Sakura gritted her teeth. 'Stupid question!


3. Have you ever tied someone up?

[X] Can't you hear the begging from the other room?

[ ] No, but will you tie me up?

[ ] *freaks out* Are you going to tie me up?

[ ] Bondage... mmm.... *licks lips*

[ ] *hides rope-burned wrists*

[ ] I'm always the one who's getting tortured. *sobs*

[ ] If my partner wants me to.

[ ] Sometimes if I see my partner sleeping, the temptation is too great to pass up.


"Aww! C'mon, Sakura! Don't mix your ANBU life with your daily life!" Ino whined.

Sakura sweat dropped. "My ANBU life is my daily life, Ino."


4. Have you ever been tied up?

[ ] It's just one of the many tortures I have to endure.

[ ] Wanna die?

[ ] *hides rope-burned wrists*

[ ] It's the punishment I deserve.

[ ] My partner's too nice to do those things.

[ ] Bondage... mmm... *licks lips*

[X] Some have tried, none have lived. *evil smirk*

[ ] I might let someone tie me up, as long as it got me what I wanted.


"Really, Sakura. I think you hang out WAAAAAAAAAAAY too much with Sasuke-kun."

"Oh, shut up, pig."


5. What kind of shoes do you wear?

[ ] Steel-toed black boots

[X] Canvas sneakers

[ ] I go barefoot

[ ] Tennis shoes

[ ] Dress shoes

[ ] Hip designer shoes

[ ] Boots with long laces so I have something to tie my uke up with


"Imagine if I got a pair of those boots…" Ino drooled.

"Imagine me puking…" Sakura muttered under her breath.

As Sakura started to read the next question, there was a knock on Sakura's door.

"Come in!" Sakura called. The door opened and Sasuke entered.

"Sasuke-kun!" Both girls exclaimed and Sakura hide the magazine from Sasuke's view.

"Just take damn quiz. I don't care." Sasuke said and walked towards her kitchen, disappeared from the girl's view.

"Your guy is weird, you know that?" Ino asked. Sakura shrugged.


6. Would you feel guilty for taking advantage of someone?

[ ] *laughing my ass off*

[ ] Not if I'm going to get punished for it. *grins slyly*

[ ] I'm not going to hurt them. It's for their own good anyway.

[ ] I'm always being taken advantage of. *eyes well up with tears*

[ ] Of course. I'd do my best to make it up to them.

[ ] I hope I've never done such a thing. *blinks and looks around*

[X] Shit happens.


Ino sweat dropped. "What the hell, Sakura?"

"Hn. I'd answer the same thing." Sasuke said and took a bite out of a tomato.

Sakura and Ino shrieked. "Since when did you get here? I thought you were in the kitchen?" Sakura asked.

Sasuke shrugged. "Next question."


7. Your weapon of choice?

[ ] My body.

[ ] Gun.

[ ] Coy seduction. *grins*

[ ] Whip, chains... do I have to choose just one?

[ ] That badass sword from the video game I played last week! So cool! *swings imaginary sword and does fighting pose*

[ ] My ability to see all possibilities and use them to my advantage.

[ ] Rainbow Power! *pose*

[X] My charming smile.

[ ] The shards of glass that pierce my soul are all I have left.


Ino blinked. "I thought you were supposed to seduce when you're searching for information?"

"Yeah… but somehow the guys that I seduced got some broken bones and a black. Eye." Sakura glared at Sasuke.

"They're asking for it." He shrugged. "Plus, I'm being easy on them. You should be thankful I didn't burn them alive."


8. Do you have any piercings?

[ ] Yes, and each one represents the pain and suffering I deserve.

[ ] *lifts up shirt to show off bellybutton piercing*

[ ] I only inflict pain on others.

[ ] It looks like it would hurt! *squirms*

[ ] No, but *gets hot thinking about my partner's piercings*

[X] *grins and sticks out tongue*

[ ] *death glare*

[ ] *unclips fake ear piercing* Umm...


"You don't have any piercings." Sasuke stated. Sakura just grinned.

"How would you know that?" Ino asked.

"Like how Hyuuga got TenTen pregnant." Sasuke smirked and both of the girls blushed.


9. Alcohol?

[ ] A means to get what I want.

[X] My partner's so cute when s/he's drunk. *grins*

[ ] Are you sure I should drink this?

[ ] Yes, I'm drunk right now, thank you.

[ ] Wanna make a bet?

[ ] Here, drink this.

[ ] Well, I've never tried it...

[ ] Anything to dull my emotional suffering.


"I never get to see Sasuke-kun drunk!" Ino whined.

"You got your own guy, pig! Leave my guy alone!" Sakura argued.


10. How do you eat your ice cream?

[ ] Off my partner. *grins thinking about it*

[ ] Um... in a cone?

[ ] I. Don't. Eat. Ice cream.

[ ] Let it melt and slowly lick it as it drips down the cone.

[ ] Ooh, I like strawberry ice cream!

[ ] Mingled with the salty taste of my own tears.

[ ] I prefer blood.

[X] Sharing a cone with my partner.


"Awww! You guys are so cute together!" Ino cooed.

Sasuke smirked and ruffled Sakura's hair.

"Oy!"


11. What gift would you give your partner?

[ ] Myself.

[ ] A piercing. *evil grin*

[X] Their well-deserved punishment.

[ ] A candle-lit dinner.

[ ] Candy or a plushie.

[ ] My soul for them to do as they please with.

[ ] Did I forget someone's birthday? *panics*

[ ] Edible body paint


"Punishment?" Sasuke asked.

"Yeah! You deserved it especially when you just barged in to Tsunade-shishou's office and dragged me away!" Sakura argued.

"So?"

"…you're hopeless…"


12. What's your ideal pet?

[ ] A kitten, or anything cute.

[X] My partner.

[ ] Something that obeys my every command.

[ ] Something that looks good in pink.

[ ] What do you mean? I am the pet.

[ ] Pets? I don't have time for that shit.

[ ] A German Shepherd, or something else big and badass

[ ] Um, a turtle, or maybe a dog, or ferrets are cool too...


"Kinky." Ino smirked and nudged Sakura's ribs.


13. How do you order at a restaurant?

[ ] Introduce myself to the server and ask what they would recommend.

[ ] Tell them what I want.

[ ] My partner orders for me.

[ ] Spend twenty minutes changing my mind and generally screwing with the server's head.

[X] Screw the food, give me the alcohol.

[ ] Order for me and my partner - no matter how expensive, whatever my partner wants.

[ ] I'm rarely allowed out of the bedroom.

[ ] Whatever the person next to me is having that looks good.


Sakura grinned.

"You truly really are Tsunade-sama's apprentice…" Ino sweat dropped.


14. The server brings you the wrong food. What do you do?

[ ] Huh? It was the wrong food? I never noticed.

[ ] I'm used to disappointments. I'll eat it anyway.

[ ] Get drunk while waiting for them to bring my right order.

[ ] Call the server a freaking idiot, and then get drunk waiting for them to bring my right order, while my partner laughs their ass off.

[ ] Eat my partner's food.

[ ] Grin and talk my way into two free meals.

[X] Smile and politely explain while planning the server's bloody demise.

[ ] I didn't notice because I was too busy gazing into my partner's eyes.


"You're a sadist alright…" Sasuke muttered.

"S and M! I didn't know you're such a kinky guy, Sasuke-kun!" Ino grinned.

Sasuke and Sakura sighed.


15. You catch someone checking out your partner. You:

[ ] Grin because I was waiting for the chance to kill someone today.

[ ] Feel lucky that I have such an attractive partner.

[ ] Kick their ass.

[ ] Smile, introduce yourself, and then slip out back to set their hair on fire.

[ ] Slip something into their drink.

[ ] Throw yourself at your partner's feet sobbing, "I'll never be good enough for you, will I?"

[ ] Think about what I'm going to eat for dinner.

[X] Stroll over smirking and confront them by saying, "Back off bitches, this one belongs to me."


Ino and Sakura high-fived each other. "In your face, Ami-bitch!"


16. Your dream occupation:

[X] Hired killer.

[ ] Pole dancer.

[ ] Stalker.

[ ] Something thrilling and maybe not quite legal.

[ ] It'd be fun to be in a band! *peace sign*

[ ] Fashion designer.

[ ] Any job that doesn't take up too much time so that I can spend time with my partner.

[ ] Slave.

[ ] Private detective.

[ ] Working in a candy store.


"I think you're suited to be a slave. My slave." Sasuke smirked.

Sakura glared. "Go find your own slave."

"No need to. I already got one."


17. What's your favorite accessory?

[ ] My partner.

[ ] My leash and collar.

[ ] My weapon.

[ ] Anything from Sexy Dynamite London brand.

[ ] The many scars of my torturous existence.

[ ] My cat ears and tail.

[ ] This cool hat I bought last week! *runs to go get it and show it off*

[ ] Rope. Or handcuffs. Or maybe my whip. Whatever suits my mood today.

[ ] Jewelry that my partner gave me.

[X] This cool boar tooth necklace that I won in a poker game.


"That's how you got the necklace?! " Ino asked.

Sakura shrugged. "That's how I got a lot of things. Like your precious leather black combat boots." She smirked, emphasizing the word 'precious'.

"Not to mention I look sexy in it, too." Sakura added. "Damn right you are." Sasuke smirked.

"You're not mad, are you, Ino? After all, like what you said, winner takes all." Sakura winked and grinned when she saw Ino's furious expression.

"Next. Question." Ino growled.


18. What costume would you wear to a masquerade?

[ ] I'd be a cat. I already have the furry kitty ears!

[ ] A sexy goth vampire. So I can lead my partner out into the dark alley and seduce them.

[X] Masquerade? Fuck that shit.

[ ] Masquerade? So many victims, so little time.

[ ] Can I bring more than one costume? *gets evil ideas*

[ ] Just another means of public humiliation...

[ ] A stripper. If the party gets a little too dull, and for bonus attention, I can always take something off. *winks*

[ ] Cosplay rocks! *runs off to research which anime character I'm going to be*

[ ] Something freaky that would scare the crap out of people.

[ ] A human sacrifice.

[ ] A Renaissance costume, or something classy, that perhaps matches my partner's costume.


"Damn right. It's just a waste of time." Sasuke said.

"What?! Masquerade is great!" Ino whined.

"Great my ass…" Sakura mumbled.

"It's great alright." Sasuke smirked when he saw Sakura blushed.


19. What kind of music do you listen to?

[ ] Anything with lots of moans and screaming that reflects my inner turmoil.

[ ] Rock.

[X] Anything that annoys my partner and gets me punished.

[ ] Whatever my partner's listening to.

[ ] Pop! Light and happy music. ^^

[ ] Anything that goes along with my partner's moans and screams.

[ ] Something refined and romantic.

[ ] Something sexy I can dance to.


Sasuke scowled. "Annoying as always…"


20. Do you usually find yourself on top or bottom?

[ ] Huh? You mean like bunk beds?

[ ] Are you trying to be a wiseass?

[ ] Bottom, unless I catch my partner sleeping. *twirls rope behind back*

[ ] *blinks with wide eyes and turns red*

[ ] *laughing my ass off*

[ ] Whatever makes my partner comfortable.

[X] Wanna make a bet and find out? *winks*

[ ] Anything's possible with a little convincing or manipulation.

[ ] You're trying to mock me, aren't you? *dark glare*


"So, Sakura, are you bottom or top?" Ino asked.

"It's a secret." Sakura winked.

"Pfft. Everybody knows you always lost in a bet." Sasuke said. "With me." He added and smirked.

Sakura pouted. Ino took the magazine from Sakura's hands and checked the result.


You are a Sadistic Seme!

It takes a special kind of uke to appreciate the punishment you dish out. Making them beg for mercy is what you're all about. You give your uke the gift of pain, and the louder their moans are, the more satisfied with the relationship you'll be. It's no fun if they don't struggle, and struggle and torture is what the Dramatic Uke, your perfect match, lives for.


Sakura gaped at the result.

"Congratulations, Forehead! You wear the pants in your relationship!" Ino cheered. "Girl power!"

Sasuke frowned. "That quiz is a fraud."

Ino turned to Sasuke. "Chyeah right. My results are totally true!"

Sasuke snorted. "Please. That's because Nara is too lazy to argue with you." Ino fumed.

Sasuke stood up from his seat and dragged Sakura who was still surprised at the result.

"O-Oy! Where are you taking Forehead?! We're going to do shopping later!" Ino yelled at Sasuke.

"I'm gonna have you know, that I'm the one that wear the pants in the relationship." He smirked as he continued dragging Sakura to her bedroom.


OWARI


Comments? And before you say anything, yes, I'm aware that the terms 'seme' and 'uke' are specially for yaoi and yuri. But... c'mon... rules are meant to be broken!

So, reviews anyone? Should I continue this fic and write about others taking this quiz? Or should I just stop it here?