Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach. Tito Kubo does.

Starring:Renji, Yoruichi, Soi-Fong and Omaeda. With byaku-boy and Rukia in the backround.

I can't believe it turned out to be with more than 1,000 words...


"Soi-Fong Taichou! Yoruichi-san! Omaeda?! What are you doing here?! you know what, never mind that! Go away immediately!"

"How you dare speaking like that to Yoruichi-sama, Abarai?! give me a reason not to vaporize with Suzumebachi you right here and now!"

"Shouldn't it be 'how dare you speaking like that to your suppiriors' rather that 'Yoruichi-sama'-Awawaw...ow, my poor-..."

"...That must have hurt- but that's not the point! Please guys-err; girls! go away, before it'll turn worse!"

"Relax, Soi-Fong, put your sword away. You too, Renji. Chill. What will turn worse? I just came to visit Byaku-boy in his mansion and Soi-Fong decided to accompany me. Now where is little Byaku-boyya?~"

"DON'T GO THERE! It's a Kuchiki's killing-spree in there!"

"--Awwaww aww..."

"Hmm, so the Kuchiki clan's elders get on his nerves again? like always. So what did they do this time?"

"--Awwaw..."

"Luckily, that's only what they tried to do- 'cause honestly, I swear; if it was to work out for them I would have been in there too- but it's not the point! It's not only Kuchiki-taichou! Rukia's it there too!"

"So Kuchiki is mad on his little sister? that's rare. Usually his quite overprotective of her..."

"--Awwaww..."

"Yes. No! Rukia is mad!"

"...On Byakuya?"

"No! on the elders!"

"--Awww..."

"Wait. So Kuchiki is mad on the elders."

"YES!"

"--Aww..haa..yes, that's much better..."

"Wait, Soi-Fong. which Kuchiki?"

--CRUSH--

"Ho?! don't ask me, Yoruichi-sama. I Know nothing! ask him!"

"Ahh, you're right. Renji! Which one? -hey, Renji! Where are you looking? look at me!"

"I think he's staring at the building that has just collapsed- AWW awwawaww---!!! Why did you do that, captai- AWW OWWW!!!"

"RENJI!"

"WHAT?!"

"--Aww aww aww..."

"WHICH ONE?!"

"WHICH WHAT?!"

"--Aww aww...."

"Which Kuchiki is mad on the elders?!"

"--Aww aww..."

"... ... BOTH GODDAMMIT!"

"Really? Rukia too? Why?"

"--Awww awww awww..."

"... ... ...*Slap* NOW you ask?!"

"YES! ... ...so why~?"

"--Aw aw aww...."

"...The elders tried to organize an arrange marriage."

"... That's all? It's not the first time; why get so mad about -wait, you mean they actually tried to marry Rukia?... *Sigh* those Idiots..."

"--Aw aw aww..."

"..."

"... So it's Byakuya after all?"

"... Both."

"--Aw aw aww..."

"... At the same time? Seriously?...like I said; Idiots."

"..."

"..."

"--Aww aww aww..."

"..."

"..."

"...I think you hit him to hard this time, Soi-Fong."

"He deserved it, Yoruichi-sama."

"...Good point."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"--Aww aww aw..."

--Crush-Boom-crush--scream--BOOM--CRUSH--

"..."

"--Aww aww aww..."

"Ahh..hell knows no fury like Kuchiki..."

"...They...wanted Rukia to marry Omaeda..."

--Crush--boom--

"..."

"..."

"--Aw aw a-WHAT?!!"

"But...You can see that it won't work now *cough*..."

"... Omaeda?"

"'Omaeda-fukutaichou' they said. Yes."

"... ... A marriage. To Kuchiki Rukia...O. M. A. E. D. A."

"Y. E. S!"

"... ... ...BUHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!"

"Wow, Soi-fongs-Taichou exploded! she's actually laughing!"

"No kidding! Hurry up, Renji! bring me a camera! this is a chance of a life time and I don't want to miss even a second of it!"

"--HAHAHA -Omaeda?! HAHAHA -seriously?! HAHAHA-No wander Kuchiki's so mad! HAHAHAHA!!!"

"Taichou! stop laughing! it's not funny! it's serious!! I'm to young to marry!"

"--HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! -That's good-HAHAHA!!! Kuchiki and Omaeda--HAHAHA--"

"Like I said: I.D.I.O.T.S. So, Renji...who was supposed to be Byakuya's bride?"

"..."

"--HAHAHA--*deep breath*--BUHAHAHAHAHAHAAA--"

"--Marry?! I don't want to marry now! besides, there's no bride out there that's good enough for the great Omaeda Marechiyo! I need a beautiful lovely loving wife who would---"

"Well? Who is it, Renji~? sure she must be worthy of our little Byaku-boyya~!!! *chuckles*"

"...and give me a loving massage every evening when I come back exhausted and tired from work and kiss---"

"--HAHAHA -yeah! just like Omaeda is worthy of a Kuchiki!!!--- HAHAHAHAHAAAAA!--"

"...You."

"...and when we're finally cuddling together in a stormy cold night she must--"

"... Come again?"

"YOU! THE ELDERS WANTED TAICHO TO MARRY YOU, YORUICHI-SAN!!!"

"--BUHAHAHAHA--...HA *blink blink*... -haha...ha?..."

"Seriously?... personally, he's too young to me..."

"...and after she rubs my feet she-- ahh? *blink*... Kuchiki-Taichou and Shihouin Yoruichi? *blink*...ho... ... ...BUHAHAHAHA!HAHAHA-"

"... ... ..."

"Omaeda, you idiot! Stop laughing! do you want to WAIT SOI-FONG-TAICHOU!-- What the-- a missile?!---"

"--HAHA--HA?! HO SHIT!! NOO!! PLEASE DON'T, TAICHOU--HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!---"

---BOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM---....

"WHA-... w-what the hell was that?!"

"Soi-fong's Bankai! awesome, right?!"

"Ahh....Hey, where's Omaeda?"

"Right there. *Points finger*"

"... Where? There's nothing but dirt and Ashes- wait, I see his golden necklace... She..she vaporized him!!"

"I see that, Renji. I guess she has finally lost it, then."

"You guess?..."

"She didn't had to go Bankai to finish, though... His laughter was annoying but still..."

"...Are you serious? You don't know?"

"Don't know what?"

"... Never mind. Let's just say It could have been for the drama-effect too. You know, like Kuchiki-Taichou would release Senbonzakura's Shikai just to kick my ass to the next week- sorry, I ment Bankai."

"HO! You're right! ... So...Where did she go anyway?"

"Who?"

"Soi-fong."

"... ... ... ONG SHE WENT INSIDE THE MANSION!"

"Ho yeah, Now that you said it, I think I saw her stepping inside through all the smoke... so, are you coming too or not?"

"-The hell are talking about? can't you hear the screams and yells and it's a freaking massacre in there!!!"

"...Renji. Look at me."

"I'm looking!"

"Look me in the eye!"

"Ok...?"

"Good. now listen to me very VERY carefully."

"...Ok?...."

"The Kuchiki clan's elders want to marry Rukia."

"I know that!"

"To Omaeda."

"... I. Know. That."

"...No you don't. Iisten to what I'm saying!"

"Yoruichi-san! I listening! I can hear you perfectly well-"

"The. Kuchiki. clan's. Elders. want. To. MARRY. RUKIA. To. O. MA. E. DA!!!"

"...They want Rukia to marry Omaeda."

"YES!"

"..."

"..."

"... ..."

"... ..."

"... ... ... Well, the hell are you waiting for?! Zabimaru aches for blood and so am I! cover for me, I'm going in!"

" *Sigh* FINALLY! That's my boy!*grin*"

"Ahh, no wait. There's something I must do before that..."

"And That is?"

"I need to call Ichigo...you know *cough*, just in case one of the elders is a crazy powerful lunatic or something..."

"...SUURRE. Of course, Renji. Ho, and in case you have forgotten these are NOBLES we're talking about."

".. Ahh, yeah."

"..."

"..."

"...Just do it quickly, or you'll have nothing left to murde-I mean; no-one to teach them a lesson."

"I'll be back before you know it!"

--CRUSHES--BOOM--SHRIEK--BOOM--BATTLE-CRY--

"..In second thought, I'll just use a Hell-Butterfly instead."


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