Just exactly how girly are you?
Elizaveta gaped at the text she just received. Who in the world was asking her about her feminine side? She checked the phone number and groaned inwardly.
She should've known.
Elizaveta snapped her phone shut and threw it back into her handbag. She didn't even want to bother answering his text.
Of course, she knew it wouldn't end there. Almost immediately after she clasped her bag shut, the phone started chiming again. She slapped her hand on her forehead and sighed exasperatedly.
"Just ignore him," she urged herself, returning to her homework. As the text chime died down, she smiled to herself. That boy had to learn that she wasn't one to make his whims her first priorities.
Unfortunately, just as her pencil touched paper, the cell phone chimed again. Elizaveta nearly snapped her pencil in half. She banged her head on her desk and yelled in frustration. She considered turning the cell phone off altogether, but what if Roderich needed to contact her? Sure, they weren't together anymore, but they were still very good friends.
God, that chime was infuriating. Elizaveta had given a special ringtone for Gilbert just so she was warned ahead of time. It used to be her favorite song; now whenever she hears it on the radio she would seize up and had the sudden urge to throw the nearest object.
Elizaveta flipped open her cell phone to find two new texts from the German—pardon me, Prussian. According to Gilbert, being a Prussian made him cooler because 'Prussian' sounded more unique than 'German.'
Are you really romantic?
I don't understand girls but hopefully you can.
Elizaveta raised her eyebrows and shut her phone again. It wasn't unusual for Gilbert to send her the most outlandish texts for no reason. Still, why did he want to know how girly and romantic she was? He couldn't possibly…no…he couldn't have a crush, did he? She would ask, but that would mean actually responding to Gilbert.
And lo and behold, the cell phone started to ring.
Elizaveta quickly checked the caller ID. It was The Prussian Prat. Gilbert was calling her now.
She sighed and resignedly picked up the call. If she didn't, she knew Gilbert would bother her through the whole night. He was passionately stubborn.
"What do you want?" she snapped.
"Finally, you found your cell phone!" Gilbert exclaimed. Elizaveta winced at his loud voice.
"I was ignoring you," Elizaveta corrected hotly.
"Why would you ignore me?" Gilbert asked. "It isn't nice to ignore your best friend."
Elizaveta rubbed her forehead. She was certain the skin was rubbed raw by now.
"It isn't nice to call your best friend a sadistic, pan-wielding madwoman either," Elizaveta countered, remembering that Gilbert had called her that in a very loud voice in the middle of an assembly just yesterday.
"I know that already. Now we're on the same track." Elizaveta groaned. Gilbert obviously had a short term memory when it came to his faults.
"What do you want from me?" Elizaveta growled.
"I want something from you," Gilbert said.
"I figured that out myself, funny enough. What do you want?"
"Well, how do I put this? You're a girl," Gilbert said simply. "A psychotic, evil one, but a girl nonetheless."
Elizaveta glared at her reflection in her vanity mirror. This was going to be a long phone conversation.
"And you know girly stuff," added Gilbert. "What they like and what they find completely irresistible."
"Stop beating around the bush, Gilbert. I don't have time for you," Elizaveta interrupted.
"My word, woman, am I interrupting something? Are you too busy poisoning apples for pretty little girls?" Gilbert retorted.
Elizaveta squeezed her cell phone so tightly it almost broke.
"Why do you need to know what girls like?" Elizaveta asked, taking a sip from her water bottle.
"Because I need to win a girl over and ask her out to the school dance, except she's so picky that I know I have to do something she specifically likes."
Elizaveta choked on her water. She coughed violently, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand.
"I knew you were like a wicked witch, but your evil laugh could use a little work," Gilbert said on the other end.
"You like a girl?" Elizaveta exclaimed.
"I certainly don't like a man, if that's what you're thinking," Gilbert shot back. "Though considering what goes on in your mind, you wouldn't mind that at all."
"Not a chance. My love for that kind of romance would be absolutely tainted if you had anything to do with it," Elizaveta said haughtily.
"Maybe I should do that then, just to spite you," Gilbert laughed. "No, I'm serious. It's a girl. I think she is, anyways, considering how she acts."
"Speak about her like that and you'll never woo her," Elizaveta said. She tried picturing Gilbert wooing anyone and nearly gagged. It defied all laws of nature.
"She's persnickety, that woman. Normally my presence alone should be irresistible, but this girl apparently thinks…not as much."
"God bless her," Elizaveta gushed. Gilbert coughed on the other end. "So why am I any part of this?"
"Because," said Gilbert. "You need to…to help me."
Elizaveta's jaw dropped.
"You're not serious," she said.
"Don't you think that if I wasn't serious, you would be laughing?" Gilbert retorted.
"Your jokes aren't exactly funny," Elizaveta sneered.
"Yeah right. Everyone loves my jokes," Gilbert smirked.
Elizaveta didn't even bother making a snarky remark. She was still completely drenched head to toe with shock. Not only was Gilbert forcefully employing her into some maddening plot of his, but he was actually asking for help. Gilbert Beilschmidt was acknowledging the fact that he lacked special attributes and needed her help! Elizaveta immediately scribbled the occasion on her calendar.
"Did my aura render you speechless or something? I'd expect it, but seriously, I need some sort of response before I have to call the CPR crew for you," Gilbert's voice said.
"I'm relishing the moment," Elizaveta said firmly. "I'm extremely surprised and pleased that you finally realized that your 'super awesome' plans for flattering women aren't effective."
"I never thought that," Gilbert laughed. "I know that all my other antics would've worked perfectly if it was with a sane girl. Well, I haven't tried it on any sane girl, but I'm sure that they're perfect."
"What makes this girl insane, hm?" Elizaveta asked curiously.
"She's—weird," Gilbert said awkwardly. "She can be a pain in the neck sometimes—almost all the time—but at the same time—bah. She won't get out of my mind."
Elizaveta couldn't believe what Gilbert was saying. She had known Gilbert since they were young children. He laughed at the idea of romance, scorned fairy tales, did everything in his power to prank her and Roderich when they were going out, and even went as far as saying that the yaoi music videos she loved were all scripted and fake and that those guys were probably sworn enemies only kissing each other for money and not passion. That last one deserved a nice slap in the face with a pan.
"I never knew this day would come," Elizaveta admitted, laughter nipping at her voice.
"What? Do you think I'm a passionless hermit?" Gilbert asked.
"I'm surprised you're capable of liking anyone besides yourself," Elizaveta giggled.
"Hmph," Gilbert grunted. "Well, I'll meet you after school tomorrow. We'll talk about what we can do."
"Hold up there," Elizaveta said quickly. "I never even said yes."
"Why would you refuse?" Gilbert questioned.
"It would mean I would actually have to spend time with you," Elizaveta said sardonically.
"I see what you mean. You can only take so much of my awesomeness at a time," he sighed dramatically. "Besides, if you asked me what I wanted from you, that meant you were curious, which means you want to know what I'm up to, which means—"
"Can it," Elizaveta grumbled. "I have my own life to live, you know. I have Gilbert-free moments."
"I can fix that," Gilbert said cheerily.
"I don't work for free, kiddo," Elizaveta said coldly.
"What?" Gilbert moaned. "Being with me isn't enough? Not even the satisfaction of helping me score a girl's heart?"
"No. I'll feel more guilt than satisfaction," Elizaveta said bluntly.
Gilbert groaned. "I don't exactly want to give you money."
"Not that I want your filthy money, Scrooge," Elizaveta scoffed. "Who knows where you get it?"
"I don't steal or anything, baby doll," Gilbert sang.
"Then go buy her some candy! Chocolates! Jewelry! Something stupid like that!" Elizaveta cried desperately.
"You think those ideas are stupid?" Gilbert asked.
"Yeah," sniffed Elizaveta. "Money is a stupid way of buying a girl's heart."
"Hmm." Gilbert's voice was tinged with mischief. "You're proving yourself to be a very valuable partner, Eliza sweet."
"I refuse to be your personal slave," Elizaveta warned.
Gilbert sighed exasperatedly. "I was hoping that the end product would be enough of a reward for you, but if you really insist…" He lowered his voice as if he was passing on a secret. "You know how Antonio and Lovino are buddy-buddy?"
"Buddy-buddy?" Elizaveta repeated.
"Is your mind working properly today?" Gilbert snickered. "Well, let's just say that one night, while they were at my house, Antonio decided he wanted some quality time with Lovi in my guest bedroom, and I just happened to leave my video camera on the entire time…"
Elizaveta suddenly felt squeamish with excitement. She absolutely adored Lovino and Antonio together. Every time she looked at them walking together down the school hallways she silently begged that Antonio would just scoop Lovino into his arms and plant a passionate kiss on his lips. She could feel her stomach overflow with butterflies. She had to suppress a scream of delight.
"Fine," Elizaveta choked out. "Deal. You give me the tape and I'll help you win this girl's heart."
"No, not until you help me do I give this to you," Gilbert protested.
"No way!" Elizaveta snapped. "How do I know that your definition of quality time isn't just an all-nighter playing video games?"
"Elizaveta, this is Antonio we're talking about," Gilbert said plainly. "Besides, I think Francis corrupted him enough to change Antonio's definition of quality time."
Elizaveta bit her lip. This was too good of a deal to pass. And she was very curious as to who Gilbert was planning to ask out to the dance. Also, while she was at it, Gilbert was under her mercy. She could do whatever she wanted…
"All right, then," Elizaveta agreed. "Let's do this."
Gilbert laughed triumphantly. "Yes! You're not that much of an apathetic Hungarian after all! See you tomorrow, Eliza!"
When Gilbert hung up, Elizaveta dropped the phone.
What exactly did she get herself in to?
So this story is based on real life events. Hmm, the word 'based' isn't even enough. It's extremely similar to real life events.
I just noticed that my sister is a lot like Hungary and this other guy is a lot like Prussia. Their relationship is nearly identical to Hungary and Prussia's. They're frenemies, they fight, they attack each other, they 'hate' each other, they are very competitive…
And this also happened to them too. The guy asked my sister to help him ask a girl out to prom, and she agreed. And a lot of chaos went on. And voila, it inspires a Gakuen Hetalia fanfiction.
Though the ending of this story will be different from the real life story…
The next chapter might take a while to come, because finals are coming soon…
I think this is my first time writing romance in three years.