So here I was, on this stupid reality show for the next 8 weeks of my life. Boy this was going to be a waste of time. Although I know nothing is going to stop me from winning.
No one at all.
I watched as loser after loser get off the boat, some guys looked like solid team mates (and when I say solid, I mean easy to steal from) and some girls looked easy (and when I say easy….you know what I mean) but nothing really caught my eye….till she got off the boat.
She looked like the sort of girl that would do homework, the girl who actually went to school, the girl who would be polite when she wanted something, and not just beat a person up.
Also she was smoking hot, but really. Not my type….at all.
Still, who wouldn't that? And since all the other guys here looked like they weren't bothered by this uptight princess, it looks like it's up to me to get to her.
I think I like this challenge.
Okay, so this place looks a little different to the application form, but doesn't matter. I'm still going to win.
I got off the boat, thanks to the host, Chris, and I looked over the other competitors.
Let's see, easy, easy, loser, Goth, idiot, loser, Neanderthal, easy, worthy, easy, easy, weirdo, stuck up, worthy, easy, loser, idiot, whatever, easy, easy, maybe, no way, bimbo. And then there's this overweight guy who shakes my hand, my as well make friends, if he's on my team, he could be quite useful if we ever have an eating challenge.
I shook his hand and was about to introduce myself when...wow, the hottest guy on the face of the earth came along, I almost fainted! Then I thought about, good looks can only get you so far in this game so, easy out!
Then, I was about to go stand with the others when this girl actually fell off the boat! I ran over to help her but she turned out to be some sort of crazy girl! Useful for high speed or athletic challenges but nothing intellectual.
Then we had to take a picture, and guess what, we all fell into the water! Do they know how long it took to get this outfit ready? I am going to sue!
I swam to the beach and pulled myself out of the water, only to be splattered by water by this guy shaking his hair. And oh my god, he was a common criminal! That hair, that shirt, those facial piercings?
No way on earth was he ever getting near me.
Never going to happen.
"So what's your name?" he asked
"Never going to happen" I said, walking away as I twisted the water from my hair.
"Easy" he said to himself, and I'm pretty sure he was not talking about the same sort easy I was before.