Fartlight


Author : Bored of all Twilight love stories?

Bored of stupid and sometimes annoying Bella??

This parody is for you!! xD

No no no I don't own Twilight, and believe me I wouldn't want to do so! XD

I don't own Seto Kaiba from Yu gi oh either!

I DO own my whole idea and everything coming out of this. So, no one can dare to steal whatever I have written without asking my persmission.

Bella steps into the Biology classroom when she's about to meet Seto Kaiba ( what the hell, if you cartoonize pattinson you'll see he's the living resemblance of him!). Her steps are slow, shy, like a stupid kid who got lectured by it's parents. But no, she had not parents in this world, only a nymphomaniac mum who used to cheat her dad all the time, making him grow pretty big horns in his head,so she left him when he couldn't enter the house anymore ( due to his big horns).

Well, anyway, back to the point when she was about to step into the biology classroom. There were no empty seats, for the students knew that Bella was farting very hard when she was sitting so they tried to stay away from her. However, there was one person, unlucky enough to be the one who would sit (or shit) next to her: Seto Kaiba,a rich spoiled person who had light brown hair and also made them a bit spiky in order to be cool. He also demanded everyone to call him Edward, for no reason at all. Anyway, all the girls liked him but he was so distant and cold, most of them were saying that he was gay because he was too keen on his younger brother. As he saw Bella entering the classroom, he was magnified by her beauty until she came closer to the fan and her scent reached his delicate nose. He made an expression of disgust as if he was to vomit, but managed to stand his ground and she came closer to him, wondering why he hated her so much.

''Hi!'' Bella greeted him without smiling at all.

Seto, I mean Edward, turned his face on her and asked her :

''How long is it since you had a bath?''

Bella did not have words to say, he was such a mean guy although he was absolutely right : She hated water like everything else in that world, and for that reason she avoided having a bath. She looked at him annoyed and was ready to give her answer to his insult :

''I can stink much worse if you wish.''

''Everyone knows that, cutie. You already farted.'' he replied in his cold tone that got Bella surprised. He called her cutie or was it just her imagination? That, bastard dared to say one good word once in his life?? But more importantly, how he was able to smell that small invinsible fart of her? No human would manage to have such a sensitive nose, and that was quite surprising! She remembered dogs running away when she was feeling fear due to the odour she was emitting from her body. But he... Edward, HE WAS NOT A DOG!

''Yes, I am no dog, for I have one secret. Meet me at the forest tomorrow and I will tell you!''

''What the fuck? How do you know what I think inside my f**cking head?'' she asked him curiously, unable to find a logical explanation for all the surprises Edward had given to her, apart from being so smexy and nice. He gazed at her with his cold blue eyes that turned to honey and made her scream like a maniac!

''!''

she screamed and the teacher kicked her out of class like a rat, while the rest of the students were laughing at her.

When the lesson was over she went to the classroom again, only to find Seto- Edward asking to change classroom because he couldn't stand being around Bella, making her wonder why that stupid guy hated her so much whereas he had planned to meet her at the forest the next day... Bella returned at home, and stayed all alone, thinking about Edward, shivering at the thought of them being together all alone in those woods, for loved him at first sight ever since she came to school.

The next day, Edward was missing from the Biology class, but Bella didn't care for she would meet him at the forest in the midday. She got out of school and was about to get into her track until a stupid classmate of her was about to squeeze her like a pancake with his own vehicle. He was laughing wickedly at her, looking forward to see her turning into a tomato juice under the hot wheels of his own track, for Bella had rejected him and he was very angry at her. Plus, the rest of the school had placed a 2 million dollar bet on him to kill her so it was a very easy thing for him to do. To his bad luck, Edward came to the rescue and stopped that track, leaving Bella safe and sound...then disappeared into thin air.

''Oh Shit, I failed, now I have to take a loan to repay the boys who placed that bet on me.'' the guy with the truck was crying...Moreover, Bella's classmates came closer to her, pretending they were feeling worried for what had happened to her. Actually, they were just sad that they failed to get a rid of that living catastrophe named Bella, and they were so miserable about that.

......

Bella went to the forest to meet Seto, yes yes Edward I mean, don't shoot at me! There she stood, motionless, waiting and waiting for him to appear but to no avail...It must have been another prank, she thought to herself and then out of the blue he appeared. She gazed at him and her face turned into a strange expression...

''How did you do that?'' she asked him while she bit her lip, waiting for his answer to come shortly.

''What do you mean?'' he replied in his usual cold tone.

Bella got angry by receiving his stupid question as a reply so she began singing:

''Your cruel device, your blood like ice, one look could kill,my pain, your thrill...''

''You listen too much music my girl, I've got to warn you to stay away from me.''

But she didn't stop, his words motivated her to sing more...

''I want to love you but I better not touch (Don't touch)
I want to hold you but my senses tell me to stop
I want to kiss you but I want it too much (Too much)
I want to taste you but your lips are venomous poison
You're poison running through my veins
You're poison, I don't want to break these chains''


More soon!!