The two lovers

They stayed all alone, deep into that threatening dark forest where unknown nasty creatures lived, lurking in every corner in search for a little snack. And Bella would definitely be one of them if she wasn't so...weird, and interesting at the same time. Once, some doctors tried to experiment on her in order to figure out what existed in a brain as hollow as hers, to no results. So, she had been released from the zoo she had been once and then, she was about to witness the undeniable truth behind Edward's strength...

After singing that favourite song of her she saw Seto (I repeat, Seto demanded to call him Edward, maybe because it fitted his aristocratic nature better) watching at her, petrified by her lack of talent at singing :

''Are you finished with your bullshit?'' he wondered while he was running out of patience.

''Oh yes.'' she replied and then went on : ''You didn't tell me how did you manage to save me today. You're...unusual, strange...''

His smile grew bigger, as if he was about to burst into unstoppable laughter from the fact that she had a brain. Nonetheless he did not speak, just kept on listening to what she had to say. He didn't want to give his secret away so easily, without making his victim think for a while, just for a change.

''Moreover...You smelled my small fart after I sat next to you. How can it be possible? You're not a dog to have such a strong smell!''

Terror was painted in every corner of her enchanting face, and he was enjoying the spectacle with all his heart, if he had one of course, for the mystery he possessed was yet to be unfold. He wanted to play with her mind, and test her limits, how far she could go and how long she would stand this game of his. As a result he wanted to torture her a little, driving her insane until all her defences would be torn apart.

''My dad's a doctor, he can give you pills if you think I saved you today.''

''I am not crazy!'' she complained, trying to avoid the imminent logical assumption that wanted her to be a crazy person, something that even she had started considering a long time ago, when she came to live in Spoons.

''I am not crazy, you fool! You're a freak and I want to know what the heck you are!'' she hissed.

''Think just a bit more...for yourself.'' he said in a calm way, sounding indifferent to her frustration while he was struggling so painfully to hide his desire to bite her fluffy bottom.

She began thinking loudly, realising that Edward was stronger than an average human person, and this thought was giving her the creeps, but what else could she do apart from accepting it?

''You are strong... and fast, your eyes change colour, your ass is so cold I need to have a stove next to me, can smell like a dog! I think I know! You're not a human!''

Edward began laughing ironically, surprised that she figured out so quick that he was no human.

''Ha ha ha ha ha ha! You entertain me with your train of thought! And yes you're right, I am not a hiuman.''

''Then what the hell are you?'' she wondered in fear and a small fart slipped from her tight asshole.

''Previously, you said that I can smell like a dog. Spell it vice versa.''

''G-O-D! Oh it's God!!'' she exclaimed in surprise, and then frowned in wonder. '' And what's that supposed to mean you jackass?''

''Isn't it enough for you to know that I can live forever? I am a vampire!''

by the time he said he was a vampire Bella had run away the faster she could screaming like a coward! Poor girl, and she liked him so much before learning the truth about him. To her disappointment, and as she had mentioned before he was too fast so she couldn't get away!

He caught to her, and stood before her.

''Yes, I am strong, and I will show you now my true strength for trying to leave me like this! No one dares to escape from Seto Edward Kaiballen, the vegetarian vampire!''

He grabbed her hand and started throwing her to every tree he was seeing until he destroyed a bunc of them.

''I am strong! I am rich, I am a god you filthy mortal shit! ''

''But I love you!!''

''What??'' he wondered, and stood still for a while. What the hell, did she like him, too, apart from all the school and all the girls in Spoons? Well, it was no great news to him but no one had told him so openly that. She gave his hand and helped Bella stand to her feet, then she told her :

''What do you love from me? I am a nasty person! And you don't want to see how I REALLY look in the sunlight.''

''I love you the way you are. Just show me yourself!''

''Aren't you afraid of me?''

''I can't fear more than I already do!'' she giggled and showed her brown pants.

Then, he took her into his back as if she was sack of potatoes and took her to a sunlit meadow. There, he was sparkling as if a thousand diamonds were attached to his perfectly shaped body, and Bella was enjoying it... She formed a huge smile and exclaimed:

''Wow!! You're a living mine full of diamonds! I'm gonna become rich! Shall I cut a piece of you?''

Edward growled like a dog staring at her as if he was to kill her :

''Oh oh! Oops, sorry, let's forget it! What about... becoming lovers?''

''That's stupid of you to ask, but OK! I love your blood, it smells like... rotten cheese!''

So, this is how Bella and Seto Edward Kaibalen became lovers under the fartlight of that treacherous forest...

Next oneshot/ chapter will be soon, please review and I will try to update as fasr as I can!