"Today, my girlfriend, who never initiates sex, pulled me into my room and onto my bed with kisses and other seductive behavior. As I'm thinking about how awesome it is that's she's doing this for once, she reaches down, grabs my underwear, and gives me the worst wedgie I've ever received. FML"


Elizabeta yanked his tie down roughly in order to kiss him more fully, using one hand to hold him in place and the other to feel behind her as she pulled him toward his bedroom whereas Gilbert, who prided himself on being a true man, was running his hands up and down her sides and invading her mouth with his tongue. It was nice, having her coming onto him instead of him going after her...maybe too nice. Could it have been the tie? Must've turned her on, or something.

However, none of these thoughts actually stuck in Gilbert's mind, his brain reduced to a primitive state and shouting "MORE, GIVE. GIVE MORE, GET SEX" as the pair progressed towards their destination.

Any chance at coherency was lost when Elizabeta dragged Gilbert onto the bed with her, him hovering over her as she immediately began running her hands over his broad shoulders, strong arms, and abs, then moving to unbutton his shirt.

Gilbert was never one to waste an opportunity, never more evident than when he lowered his head to her neck and began kissing and biting, smirk coming naturally as he felt the shiver Elizabeta gave. It was then his turn to shiver as her delicate hands danced down his chest toward his groin, already hard as a rock because that woman was too damn sexy.

Murmuring her name over and over Gilbert felt her hands drift toward his ass ('and what an ass it was', Gilbert thought), tracing the lining of his pants all the way to his spine.

Coherency is a very fickle entity: not present when it needs to be, and all too present when you wish it wasn't. Gilbert's eyes flashed in pain as his erection was bent and tightly constricted by the fabric of his underwear, pulled taut by an immensely fickle Hungarian.

He should liked to have cried the aching pain away, but he had none. Instead, he promptly passed out on top of Elizabeta, who in turn cursed him and tried her best to roll him off of her.

Life is a very fickle little bitch.