So as my freshman year nears its close, I have lost almost all of my friendships. :( But oh well, I realized they all treated me like shit anyway and they only brought me down. So, I've decided to use the time that I used to spend upset about their drama unleashing my plot bunnies! Huzzah! By the way, I finally found another little plot line for this story...so enjoy?
Roxas stared. Stared hard, as if he were hypnotized. He couldn't believe this was happening. No, there was absolutely NO possible way that Axel, his Axel, was getting down on one knee in front of him with a diamond ring extended toward him. There was no way. Pigs had to be out flying somewhere or something...
But here, in their room, shining emerald eyes brimming with excitement were fixated solely on him. The blond dry swallowed in a vain attempt to clear the fuzzy haze in his mind. Reaching his hand forward, Axel slowly enveloped Roxas' left hand in both of his own, the ring pressing down cold and smooth on the younger teen's fingers. It definitely felt real.
"Roxas," he whispered breathily, the name rolling smoothly off the redhead's tongue, "will you do me the great honor of letting me marry you?" His voice, his warm skin, the glittering twinkle in his eyes...it was all too perfect. Struggling to keep up, Roxas dumbly tried to form an answer. What he came up with was,
"I...you...I...we...ring? Us? I...what?" The redhead hung his head, shaking it side to side with laughter as Roxas pulled his hand up to his mouth in confusion. Taking in a deep, much needed breath, Axel looked up into a pair of glazed ocean blue pools and tried to restate his question.
"Would you, Roxas Aiden, my best friend, the one who's been through hell and back, some of which was my fault, the one I love, couldn't live without, and would die for, become my husband?" A faint blush painted the older boy's cheeks as he said this, and that was what made Roxas decide.
He pulled his hand away, taking slow steps backwards as he raised his hands to his chest. This was perfect. All too perfect. As if in a slow motion frame, the blissful expression on the redhead's angular face dropped as the stuttering commenced.
"Axel...I...I can't..." he started, cut off as he began to choke himself up. Tears pricked his eyes as he searched for the right words in his mind. He failed to find any that could fit the situation, he couldn't find a way to say this, no matter how vast the English language was. Axel beat him to the punch and broke the lapse in verbal communication that was silent, save Roxas' gasping sobs.
"Roxas...what...what do you mean?" The blond averted his gaze, directing it toward his bare feet instead. He just couldn't look at Axel, not like this. Shaking his head to himself, Roxas started to wander around the room, frantically pulling open drawers and rifling through the closets or other containers in sight. Green eyes followed him, full of worry, as the carmine brows above said eyes furrowed in confusion. Getting frustrated, the blond started mumbling to himself in agitation.
"Oh come on...I just wanna wake up from this...figures there is absolutely nothing to kill myself with in here...goddammit..." he ranted, continuing his rummaging. Axel's worried expression intensified as he rushed himself over to the fumbling blond, pulling his wrists back from the drawers and staring at him in concern and shock.
"Whoa, whoa there, Roxas! What are you talking about? You can't kill yourself over this! I mean, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have sprung that on you and if you hate me I can just go away, but you don't have to take your own life!" Axel's words reached the blond's ears, but they had no effect on him. At this point, he just desperately wished for it to end, and cared about little else.
"Usually if I kill myself I wake up...I want to wake up already...this hurts too much, I just want to wake up from this horrible dream...figures in this dream I don't have anything to die with..." he rambled under his breath, talking more to himself than to Axel. Upon hearing this, the redhead struggled to comprehend what in the entire freaking universe the blond was talking about, but seeing how Roxas kept digging around for something to die with, he sprang into action and did the best he could. Axel anchored himself in front of his best friend, and with a strong determination in his movements, wrapped Roxas in his arms in a tender embrace.
"I know you've been through hell, but Roxas...this isn't a dream. Please, just believe that this is for real," he pleaded, gently nuzzling his nose into the blond locks. He hoped that perhaps, the more he could make Roxas feel his physical presence, the higher chance that Roxas would believe him. This was just becoming too routine for Axel's liking, the having to talk his precious little blond down from suicide. He didn't like how this was becoming a common occurrence between them. Roxas began to struggle in his grip, pushing away halfheartedly.
"I've imagined you saying that enough times to know that this can't be anything but
a dream...and I want to wake up. Before it hurts more. Please let me wake up," the boy whispered, the hurt in his voice muted by the numb trance he'd fallen into, but still noticeably apparent. Looking at the broken expression Roxas wore, the redhead felt his heart tear and break. He couldn't stand this.
"Please, Roxas, just believe me...I love you, I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere any time soon. His vision began to swim with unshed tears as Roxas continued to swing his head back and forth in a silent refusal.
"This can't be real," the blond reasoned, more to himself, "you couldn't have just magically come back like that...and what are the chances that as soon as you did, you ask me to marry you? No, the chances are impossible...this can't be real. And I want to wake up soon so I don't have to keep reliving what I can't have anymore..." The tears in Axel's emerald eyes began to cascade heavily down his cheeks at Roxas' heart wrenching speech. He'd damaged Roxas so much more than he'd ever thought possible. It was all his fault, and as of that moment, he couldn't foresee anything he could ever possibly do to fix all this damage. He was a monster, he had done all of this... He was the sole reason Roxas was holding a pocketknife to his own throat and getting ready to-
Wait...pocketknife? He must have found it while the redhead was tearing up. The older boy silently cursed himself for letting himself be distracted at that one, crucial moment. Axel unleashed an anguished scream as he saw his blond look back at him, with a goodbye in his clear sapphire eyes, and flick the knife to the open position. Axel's body and hands lunged for Roxas' unthinking self, to try and recover the weapon before he could do any harm to himself, but a slice rang through the echoes of his shrill scream.
The whooshing of the slice was followed by a large splashing sound, and then a few pitter patter splats that resembled water dripping.
He'd been too slow.
Good lord, my freshman year is over...and this is what I give you? O.e Oh, I beg your forgiveness...