Cohi o Nomimasu, a The World Ends With You & Hetalia: Axis Powers crossover one-shot

Summary: Kiku had thought Joshua only wanted to have small talk over coffee. Too bad, things don't turn out so well.

Warnings: Good doses of WTF-ness and angst. Language. Hints to shounen-ai, abuse/harassment of some sort, death. Very liberal use of the Japanese language.

Disclaimer: I own neither The World Ends With You or Hetalia: Axis Powers. They've got their own owners who have a good sum of money. I own a copy of WEWY and a 2010 Hetalia calender.

This certainly... wasn't what I wanted to upload next... But, um, it's here and it's checking out fairly well. More HAP then WEWY but...

Oh, there should be red text somewhere here (WEWY reference) but the color doesn't show up, darnit.

Did some edits 3


A cheerful bell rang when the glass door opened.

" こにちわ、本田さん。" Good afternoon, Mr. Honda, said the barista, wiping down the counter one last time just to ensure it was clean. It paid to never be too careful when one had to deal with a person of this sort. The man eyed the foreigners trailing the petite male worriedly, but tried to hide it. "I wasn't expecting you to bring guests," he changed languages as easily as turning on a light.

A young man, barely out of his twenties (or so it seemed), sent the barista a kind smile. "すみません、羽狛さん。" I am sorry, Mr. Hanekoma - his words were said demurely, but one could practically taste the hidden lace of steel and gun-powder on them. To drive the point home, he switched languages as well. "But I was not about to leave the rest of my friends in my apartment while Feliciano and Ludwig took part in some of the more... unique aspects of our country. And it's Kiku - I told you this already."

Hanekoma made an amused-sounding grunt as he shook his head, a hand motioning towards the empty cafe. "Sit, sit." His eyes gazed speculatively towards the three other man that came in with Kiku; the body seemed relaxed, but Hanekoma's black eyes betrayed the tension he felt in his body. Despite the fact he seemed bothered by the extra bodies - and he can always take them out - what can a nation do against the hands of GOD - the man did nothing more than run a hand through his slowly graying hair and mutter to himself. With another mutter of 'Boss won't like this,' he gave a rueful smile. "So, what can I get for you?" All smiles...

And Kiku knew that smiles hid sharp teeth, infinite knowledge and no chance to react.

The thought slid in and settled in his mind, refusing to leave. Furrowing his brows, Kiku sat down at a table and motioned for the others to sit as well. Alfred smirked in his cocky, overly-assured way, as he grabbed a stool from the bar, sitting down in it. A muttered "git" and Alfred was joined by his older brother, Arthur Kirkland. Sadiq, however decided to join Kiku at the table, placing an amiable hand over Kiku's own. Hanekoma started taking orders with the two of them; Kiku had the house blend while Sadiq went and ordered a Turkish Coffee (surprise, surprise, but efforts were being made to keep that beverage alive) - Hanekoma wasn't sure if he knew how to make one, but he did say that he would try. An order of pancakes were also going to be made to share between the two of them. Easily, Hanekoma sashayed his way to the duo in the bar and, briefly, a fight erupted over the merits of tea versus coffee (with Hanekoma agreeing with Alfred on the sheer freakin' awesomeness that is coffee, God-dammit! as the American put it) - and don't use that name in vein, isn't that what you and those of the West told me? Say such things and God might just get angry, and Kiku did not want to mess with an angry God like the ones he knew - before the shades-wearing man smiled benevolently and wasn't that just the same sort of smile Kiku had received before being told that Shibuya had a month before it might be erased from the face of the planet?

"I hope instant tea bags are okay, Boss, 'cause I'm a coffee shop. Haven't drunk tea in..." Hanekoma stopped and looked up, trying to figure out the passage of time. He shrugged, "a really, really, really, long time. I'll see what I got though?" Before Kiku knew it, Hanekoma was behind the counter again, bustling about to start a new brew of coffee before heading to the back room to grab some pancake mix - and Kiku remembered the last time he was back there, with a man with dark shades, cruel hands and even crueler lips, a frightening smile mouthing against his, "this place may become as paradise. What a wonderful world such would be..." that puts Ivan's insanity to shame and where was Yao and Sadiq and Heracles who all said they would always keep him safe from the bad man - so he could make a snack for Kiku and the rest of the nations sitting in his pretty deserted cafe. Hanekoma was in the doorway when he called out, "Watch the store for me, Phones."

"Sure thing, Mr. H," a new voice answered, just as the barista walked through the threshold. Kiku jumped, not noticing that someone else had entered the shop. The hand that was lightly touching his own gripped tighter and Sadiq motioned behind Kiku towards his right. Turning in his seat a bit, Kiku saw a young boy, probably still in junior high school, enter the shop, sporting nearly everything every thread from Jupiter the Monkey. He was carrying bags from various stores around Shibuya - it looked like he just came from a shopping trip.

"こにちわ," Good afternoon. "I didn't know that Mr. H got any other customers other than me and my friends," he said with a smile. "The name's Neku, and it's nice to meet you. Foreigners, yes?"

Arthur smiled, "はい、ぼくたちは三人です。" Yes, we three; he motioned towards himself, Alfred, and Sadiq. "はじめまして、音操,く ん。" And it's very nice to meet you, Neku-kun. Kiku gave the Englishman points for using his language so flawlessly, although Neku merely shook his head in exasperation.

"I'm a middle school student, Mr. Arthur. My grasp of the English language is very good," he punctuated his point by speaking the English tongue flawlessly, his tongue and lips gliding across the foreign words as if they were his own. Which was odd, seeing as a "middle school student" should not have the mastery a man three times his senior was hard pressed to have. "Has Mr. H started your orders yet?" he asked, putting his purchases away and donning an apron to protect his clothes.

Sadiq got up - pulling a reluctant Kiku with him - to sit at the bar as well. "Nice to meet you, Neku~" he said with a flirtatious grin. Subtley, Kiku kicked the other man in the shins because he really did not want to know why France and Spain called the Turk a pedophile. "He took our orders already."

The boy absentmindedly nodded, finding the memo pad Hanekoma used for orders. "All right then, give me a moment." The house coffee's were done and a box of English tea bag miraculously appeared on the table because this was a place of gods and angels, and miracles were common here between the coffee makers, so Neku was able to steep the tea. "Here you guys go. Mr. H ought to be out here in a sec with yours in a minute, sir." was tossed towards Sadiq, who merely smiled.

"Sure thing."

Smiling wanly, Neku was about to say something when his pocket started playing One-Winged Angel. The boy gave an exasperated sigh before digging out his phone and flipping it open. The same moment, the cafe doors opened and the bell tolled, such an ominous sound, allowing a silver-haired boy around Neku's age to enter, orange cell phone in hand and a smirk firmly on his face. And here is God. "Neku-dear~ You get my text?"

Neku glared and, with a small huff, flipped his cellphone closed and put it away. "If you were just going to come in, why bother texting me at all?" Despite the way the words were deadpanned, a tinge of amusement colored them, making Kiku think this was a regular occurrence.

"And have my love for you rebuffed once more?" the boy asked dramatically, placing his hands over his chest. "I think not!" With those words, the silver-haired boy hopped the counter (nearly knocking over Kiku's coffee in the process) and began to - for lack of better words - molest Neku.

The look of non-amusement Neku wore confirmed that this was a regular occurrence, despite the fine blush dusting his cheeks. "Joshua..." the orange-haired boy whined. When Joshua seemed to have no designs to move, he sighed before yelling, "MR. H! JOSH'S HARASSING ME AGAIN!"

Hanekoma exited the back, a large plate of pancakes in one hand and Sadiq's coffee in the other. He raised an eyebrow at his assistant's predicament, but didn't say anything until after he put the drink and food down. "Boss, what did I tell you about messing with Neku?"

"You never told me anything about that. You just sent me disapproving glares," Joshua replied with a giggle, but he did stop his actions, deciding to stop his molestation. His arms were loosely wrapped around Neku's shoulders, cell phone held in his hand.

Kiku sighed, "桐生さま、君にもう一度会えるなんて最高だよ。" How nice it is to see you, Mr. Kiryuu. But why did you demand I come here, after ignoring me for so long, God.

That giggle again. "Ah, Kiku dear, why so formal? English will suffice just as well for this conversation, don't you think?" Joshua asked between bites of his Spirit Bar.

Another sigh, this time coming from Neku, who was trying his best to glare at Joshua over his shoulder, but kept going cross-eye. "Is there a reason why you're here?"

"I would... also like to know why you have asked me here." Kiku closed his eyes and massaged the bridge of his nose. Only because he asked and I really can't say "no," can I? I could be doing such more interesting things with the others, instead of pulling them around this place.

"I wanted to show off," Joshua started, "my new conductor." He smiled down towards Neku. "And he goes by the name of Sakuraba Nek-"

"I never agreed to anything yet!" was the high-pitched squeal (er, yell) coming from one, Sakuraba Neku, as the Jupiter of the Monkey-wearing boy tried to get away from Joshua, who merely chuckled once again. Neku didn't seem to like the idea of doing that job. But you will, knew Kiku, if that man wants you. He has you. Nothing can change that, because when ou ignore him, you head to a bad direction. "When you meet the Buddha, kill the Buddha" - should I have applied that to the god of this city, too?

"Why do you need a new conductor, anyways?" Kiku asked, unsure of how he would react. He had paled when the business of conductor came up - Kiku did not particularly like the man with the dark sunglasses and conceited smirk very much, anyways, but he was not sure how if he liked the idea of this young child taking the job either. He could feel the others' questioning glances, but Kiku could not care about international relations right now - problems in the interior were more urgent.

Joshua shrugged, still unwilling to move his arm from across Neku's shoulders, despite the smaller boy's movements. "Megumi and I had a... falling out of sorts," was said with no little bit of distaste. A falling out of their kind would probably mean someone got killed. Permanently. "I also," he began, "wanted you to be the first to know of my intentions to take over Japan's Underground..." A pause, as the words sank into Kiku's brain, the Asian paling even more. "And then all the other Undergrounds around the world, while I'm at it," was just a mere afterthought. Why so ambitious, Kiryuu?

So out of it was he, Kiku didn't notice Sadiq getting up until he was forcibly pulled away from Joshua's reach by the Turk, as the other arm pulled his beloved blade from a sheath Kiku never noticed until it was drawn. "I do not know what this talk of 'undergrounds' are, but I will not allow you from taking Kiku's, or anyone else's!"

"Are you one of those crazy nationalist freaks? The world is everyone's and won't be taken over!" hissed Alfred, who had drawn his gun when he stood up at the perceived threat. Arthur had drawn his own too, - never leave home without it, right? you two really are related - but was aiming at Hanekoma. The barista had moved towards the pair of blonds, intending to incapacitate them in some way and Kiku didn't want to know all the pretty ways that man, that Fallen Angel, could hurt them, now that those pesky rules were out of the way.

Neku gasped and clutched at Joshua's arm (which had wrapped even more around him in a parody of protection), eyes narrowed as he looked down Sadiq's blade. Joshua, despite the defensiveness he seemed to spare towards the younger male, merely smirked as if he was in on one big cosmic joke that the others didn't get (and when you're GOD, everything's a joke for you, isn't it?) and probably never will. He squeezed Neku's shoulder once, but did nothing else other than bring his cellular near eye level, thumb poised as if to call or send a te -

Of course, the cell phone.

Joshua giggled when realization dawned on Kiku's face. "The one thing I love most about you, my dear, is how you're always in the front of the pack in technology. Makes my job easier, wouldn't you think, Kiku?"

The familiar tone the white haired boy took with his name made Kiku twitched, but otherwise didn't respond. How could he, when Kiku knew what Joshua could do. He twitched again. "It's... fine... Let us get back to talking without such arms getting in the way." He forcefully tugged at Sadiq's arm until the darker skinned male re-sheathed the blade, and sent several glares towards Kirkland and Jones until they too, put away their weapons. Of course, it took Hanekoma to loosen his muscles and put his arms to his sides before Alfred could put his gun away, but all the nations' pretty weapons went away.

"Put yours away too," hissed Neku, pulling himself away from Joshua and taking half a step. The look that crossed the other boy's face was both worried and saddened, but Joshua eventually sighed and flipped his cellphone closed before stowing it away in a jean pocket, his hands now free of both weapon and (hostage? Was Neku a hostage in all of this?) child.

"It seems we're at an impasse gentleman. I had no intentions to start a fight, but I will defend what is mine." A small glance around the shop and towards Hanekoma made it obvious that they were included in what Joshua 'owned.' "It will take a while to get to the point I want, and what I want is to be the 'boss' of all of you here. Or, well, the boss behind your boss, I guess," he shrugged, a bemused smirk taking over his face. "You know, Kiku, it's been my goal for a long time - ever since I met you. We might have been there already if you listened to me those times -" his tone was mocking - a voice in his head telling him don't do it, ringing against his skull, going against the tide of popular opinion, noticeable in its uniqueness. Did he listen to the voice? No, no you didn't, did you? And because you didn't, you hurt one of the people who meant the most to you, the big-brother you had shunned (and no wonder Sadiq chased after the moon, leaving you alone in the sun's blinding radiance - warui otouto) and hurt and desperately tried to kill. You ignored the voice and didn't even bother to pay it any heed when it told you don't do it one last time, and all you got for your impertinence was two-hundred, forty thousand people dead and humiliation to last a thousand generations, and although you didn't drop the bombs, their blood is in your hands, ON YOUR HANDS monster, killer, murderer - "but that is neither here nor there, dear. I just wanted to inform you that I no longer am going to destroy the city." And when Joshua came up with that plan in his head to "help the world by getting rid of the stagnant city," he only got a curtousey text. Glad to know that Shibuya was safe for now. "I'll get back to you after Tokyo is firmly under my control."

There was a growling sound, before Alfred - such hot-blooded, precocious child he was - rushed past everyone to grab at Joshua, putting all his might into slamming the silver haired one into the wall behind him. An ominous crack sounded and Kiku wasn't sure if it was the plaster, Joshua's body, or Alfred's control breaking apart. "What the fuck are you going on about!? Shut the hell up - like anyone would make a person like you their Boss." Alfred's animosity towards Joshua was outstanding, considering who it was.

"If you don't release me," Joshua sneered, "then I will not be responsible for my actions." If Kiku remembered correctly, Joshua only liked to be in the air by his own power.

"Try me," the blond goaded. "Try and see what happens."

Joshua smirked. "Well, the idiot American asked for it." Several things happened at once: Neku tried to move towards the two with intentions to stop them, but Hanekoma grabbed him before he could go to far; Kiku also tried to do the same thing, but he couldn't get around Sadiq's arms. There was a bright flash of light, like a beam from above, and a large thunderclap sound. When the light receeded, Joshua was standing on the ground, brushing off dirt from his clothes and -

"Alfred!" cried Arthur in worry, as the shorter blond went over to his little brother. Alfred was sprawled on the ground, a good couple of meters from where he was pinning Joshua earlier. He was battered and bruised, his glasses were askew, and his clothes looked as war torn as if he had come out of a major battle. Kiku worried that the American was knocked out or worse yet, killed - can God kill us so easily - but it only took a bit of prodding for Alfred to groan and start to sit up with his brother's help.

With a snort, Joshua rolled his eyes at the scene. "We're going now, Neku," he snapped, heading towards the door.

It took a moment for Neku's speach facilities to come back to him. "But - my shift -"

"I highly doubt," Joshua interrupted with a chuckle, "that Hanekoma can not take care of things by himself, right?"

Hanekoma gulped, "S-sure thing, Boss." And even Fallen Angels fear God's wrath, don't they?

A few more moments before Joshua was ushering Neku left through the door, with a "しつれいします," sorry to leave, tossed over his shoulder. But, at the threshold right before going outside, the silver-haired boy stopped and turned to look at the assembled nations, sending a particularly distasteful look towards Alfred, who was able to stagger up to his feet. "We both know," and that was mostly directed towards Kiku, "that we can't do anything to each other. Not really, since it would be pointless to fight if it won't last but... If you touch him - " And everyone knew who him was referring to, "I will never forgive you. And my forgiveness is the only thing keeping you live right now. You have no right to take him away." Joshua glared and pointed outside into the street, where Neku was still standing, hands in his pockets and headphones over his ears. "かれは私に属しています。" He belongs to me, he says so blatantly. Then Joshua pointed at Kiku as well. "あなたも私に属しています。"

And, with his piece said, Joshua left the building, leaving a trail of luminescent feathers in his wake.

Kiku knew that the others would have questions, and that he would have to go find a Peace Full to help. But he couldn't really pay attention to anything, his mind was far too muddled.

And then a twinge of pain in the palm of his right hand reminded Kiku - he belonged to Joshua, too.

終わり



Aww, poor Japan-tan, ne? I... wasn't planning on him being so paranoid in this ;A; It wasn't my intention to torture you! ILU, but you know my love comes out in odd ways.

So, the ending - implies that Kiku is "playing" as well, but on a hella different level. It just happened - there's no reason why either. Just that, Shibuya (especially the Scrabble and 109 [104]) is one of many icons of Japan's industrialization. Presume that Kiku's "death" occurred during the financial crisis of the 1990s (when Japanese asset price bubble collapsed) and the "Game" in question is to re-obtain good relations with his family "D (because Joshua is still mad that Japan never listened to him and, around that time, Japan started to earnestly renew ties with his neighbors).

The rest of the nations don't seem to know about the Game, but I'm under the assumption that very few Composers are as... ambitious as Joshua is. They might have inklings of it, but the Higher Plane is higher than the Earth, which makes representatives of the Higher Plane on Earth on par to the actual Nations themselves... So, Joshua implies he'll ascend it needed to protect Neku, I guess.

Pedophile is mentioned because, in the Chibitalia sequence, the Ottoman Empire (Sadiq) kept trying to kidnap Southern Italy (Romano) from Spain's house.

People who are staying at Japan's house was chosen via random world map and childhood games.

And, yes, Japan lives in an apartment. He's got a room in the Imperial Palace, but he likes his cozy little 1k Apartment 'cause he can clean it and spazz out with fewer people worrying. Fitting that many people in such an area is hard, but not impossible.

My takes on nation-tan's? I think that not everyone can recognize them (a la, the Four Horsemen (er, Persons) of the Apocalypse from Prachett and Gaiman's Good Omens) so Kiku can live there in relative peace (until the PM comes a-knockin' at his door at 2 am yelling that North Korea is planning on testing his missiles and South Korea and India and even China are starting to worry) without his neighbors' knowing.

Italic interruptions are supposed to be thoughts/memory fragments. The story's third person limited, with an emphasis on Kiku-koi~. I just realized this was influenced by one of my friend's brain vomit (which half of this is xD). Yeah... That's my excuse this fic - it went from Kiku enjoying coffee with some interesting humans, to this... (After the 'all smiles' thought, I went off to beta her stupid ficlet, and now the most random things come from my fingertips)

Um, so...

It might not be obvious that Kiku was assaulted of some sort (ambiguous-ness intentional - if Kiku can't admit to have [mostly] consensual sex with Hercules, then he certainly isn't going to admit to whatever abuse Megumi put him through) in the past (probably near past too, last twenty, thirty years or so).

Reasoning for why Megs was picking on Kiku? Because Megumi was picked on as a child due to his name (which is why he's such a douche) and he needed an outlet for this. Kiku, as the mortal-seeming representation of all of Japan, would be a perfect victim for his aggression he felt towards his tormentors (assuming, of course, he never got even before that point). He probably would have done something similar to a Shibuya-tan. His text was taken from the game, nyan~

Hetalia Characters-Country:

Kiku Honda - Japan

Alfred F. Jones - United States of America

Arthur Kirkland - The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland

Sadiq Adnan - Republic of Turkey (formerly the Ottoman Empire)

Felciano Vargas - Italy (Northern)

Ludwig - Germany [um, no last name, kthnxbai]

Hercales Karpusi - Greece (mentioned)

Translate:

Warui otouto - bad little brother (see below for reasons to use this)

Anything in hiragana/kanji/katakana - translations are (generally) after the phrase; they're loose, sorry 'bout that. Names that are "officially" written in Kanji is used, even if the kanji doesn't seem to be legitimately used for names... Any other times they speak, it's in English. I'm translating these via what I learned from class, so sorry if I got it wrong =3=;
属 is read "zoku" in this context, as part of the verb "zokusuru" which means to belong to. So the last two lines are: "He belongs to me. You also belong to me."

Bad Little Brother - According to something I read on the interwebz (I don't think this is very historical, but it's very interesting and cute to incorporate into Hetalia) - there's a story about two brothers who lived in Central Asia. One went west to chase the setting moon, while the other turned east to greet the rising sun. After that, they were separated, and grew into modern day Turkey and Japan, alone from their brother (maybe twin - they're both without official ages so... But Sadiq looks so much older ;A; Sorry Kiku, but you're one of those ageless Asians). For some reason, these two countries have really good relations, and so this sort of grew in my head. I like it since it's cute and gives a reason for Turkey to be so protective of Japan against Greece, lulz. So, the reason why Japan was lost near China's house was because he was trying to get back to Turkey (well, Ottoman Empire... Er.. sort of... I guess he was originally some of the nomadic tribes in that area?).