Koutai: I normally have a limit of three stories at one time, but this idea has been bugging me for about two months now and I need to write it!!!! AU

I HAVE NEVER, DO NOT AND WILL NEVER OWN JONAS OR ITS SONGS!!!!

Who I Am

Summary: What started out as fun and games soon spiraled into an out of control life of dark forgettings. Souls were ripped from hearts and never mended from the one they all lost, and yet, is he really as lost as he seems? But ten years apart can really change a person...

Prologue


NICK'S POV-10 YEARS AGO

Mommy and Joe and Kevin were in the park fields playing soccer and I wanted to play but Joe told me he did not want to me get hurt by the bigger kids. I am ok with that. I was just sitting on the bench, watching them and occasionally looking to the clouds, noticing a bunny shaped one and tapping my fingers to a beat only I could hear as I sang softly to myself, unaware that someone was listening.

"Nick, honey, we are going to get ice cream from the ice cream truck. Ms. Lisy will watch you ok honey?" My mom asked, trying to hold back a running Kevin and Joe. I nodded and smiled at Ms. Lisy, my sitter for the better part of three years. She smiled at me, but seemed preoccupied with something else. My mom ran off with Joe and Kevin, yelling at them to slow down.

I sat on the bench, as silent as always, lost in my own world of music, awaiting my mother's return. Ms. Lisy suddenly screamed and collapsed, something red running down her neck. I ran over to her and saw she was not breathing and I stood their in shock, knowing that she was dead. I sat by her side, looking around, unable to fully understand what was happening so I just waited for mommy and my brothers to return. But they never did.

I waited for hours and rain started falling as I started crying, no one coming to my aid on the abandoned field. Thunder boomed and lightening flashed, only intensifying my fear. My heart beat faster than it ever has before as I yelled for Joe, Kevin, Mommy, anyone to come. I hated being alone an I felt abandoned. Was that it? Did Mommy hate me so much she just left me here? Did she really hate me? My cries increased to the speed of the hard rain and I forgot my fear and I only felt sad.

Then, the rain stopped hitting my cold face and someone pulled me close, trying to stop my shivering.

"Come on son, I'll keep you safe and warm. I will try and find your parents."

I looked up with blurry eyes to the man that held me and saw his pleasant blue eyes starring carefully at Ms. Lisy and how he gazed so gently at me. But I knew I should never go with strangers but mommy wasn't coming to get me…and this man seemed nice enough and I really wanted to find mommy. I nodded to him.

"I am Leon Grey."

"Nick." I said, looking at where my mom disappeared, hours ago, hoping to see her running to me, but she was not.

"Well Nicholas, lets get you dry and safe. You have a beautiful voice by the way."

He took my hand and I stood with him, thankfully for his kindness and warmth. I was 7 years old, cold and alone next to a dead body and had no hope of my mom coming back…what would you have done?


JOE'S POV-Present

I sat on the very same bench I last saw my little brother on. That was ten years ago. My mom got held up by the police, unable to get back to Nick, because of a shooting and they assured her they would find him. But they didn't. His body was not found like Ms. Lisy's was, in fact, all that he left were bitter memories and his favorite translucent blue guitar pick that had a dark blue lightening bolt running through it.

I sat on my bed, unable and not wanting to let go of my little brother, who would now be 17, as I starred at the only picture I had of him. He was hugging me tightly on Christmas morning, and we both wore huge smiles and Stella was in the background, making a bunny ears on my head. I wished I could see him one more time, hear his voice, which would be so much deeper and mature now…in fact, if he was still alive, would I be able to recognize him?


Koutai: Before anyone asks, no this is not based off of Snowfallxo's story Fireflies. I had this idea before she posted her story and I need to write it now. Until Next Update!!!