Hate This and I'll Love You – by The Problematique


There is something to be said about the human brain's capacity for emotion. Whether it be in reaction to stimuli or merely the thought which evokes a response, the intricacies of what we call the mind and the process of feeling are, as of yet, undiscovered. Oh sure, hormones figure in there somewhere, but even at the current Stardate it hasn't all yet been precisely and properly explained.

Captain Kirk's mind was no exception to this idea, in that it was not precisely or properly explained. A certain first officer might point out that Jim's mind was, in fact, less precisely explained than other minds, and attempting to do so was very, very difficult, probably not something said first officer would recommend (he would, in fact, discourage it) to anyone who wasn't a half-Human half-Vulcan Commander named Spock.

Jim would put it differently, and simply declare that his mind was awesomely original.

But suffice it to say that, despite varying and opposing opinions, Jim's mind was extraordinary. Intelligent (to genius levels), compassionate, quick-thinking, strong, selfless (to very dangerous levels), occasionally impulsive and unafraid of, well, almost anything (including but not limited to: personal boundries, death, fear itself, the dark, asteroid fields, flying without means of propulsion, exploration of all and any kinds, adventure, ridicule, being turned down repeatedly, heights, and different, new or unusual concepts, people or sexual positions).

The fact was that Jim's mind was spectacularly singular.

And it became obsessed with Spock.

Because Spock's mind was brilliant and bright like sunlight sparkling off waves, and it was also vast and fascinatingly alien like the deepest ocean. And Jim's Problem began with this thought, and all subsequent thoughts like it, and all the poetic metaphors used to illustrate them, and the increased frequency of those (both the thoughts and the metaphors) and the way these thoughts always had to do with Spock.

The Problem, as he so lovingly thought of it, had certainly begun with Spock's mind, yes, Spock's mind as a challenge and a test, a goal he wanted to reach, a dam he wanted to flood, a question he wanted answered, a balance to tempt, a response to provoke… as an ocean he wanted to explore.

But it didn't stop there. The sneaky little bastard.

With (increasingly desperate) metaphors The Problem settled in Jim's consciousness. It got comfortable, in there. It grew. It thrived on Jim's concentration and focus. It made itself known the instant Jim had a second of free time. He took to working three times more than was healthy for a Captain and the thing still found a way to creep up on him when he least expected it: when he was forced to go off-duty by his CMO, while he slept, in the shower... once, when he was eating a cucumber salad. It ruined vegetables for Jim for ever.

The way a glint in Spock's eye told Jim Spock was happy (although he might deny that later if asked, something Jim invariably did, and then nagged him about). The way a raised eyebrow could mean five different things when combined with a slightly upturned mouth or pursed lips. The twitch of a muscle announce anger, the tightening of the jaw, sorrow.

Then Jim caught himself watching Spock's jaw without cause to look for sadness. Just because. Or looking at Spock's ears, with their varying shades of green, and grinning like an idiot for no reason whatsoever.

It didn't properly register until the day he caught himself staring, open-mouthed and drooling, at Spock's naked torso while training in the gym. This actually happened, quite literally, and Jim was shocked and delighted to discover it wasn't just an expression: you could honest to God drool over someone (although he wasn't quite so skippy about having to change his shirt, or about Bones laughing hysterically until someone had to slap him out of it). It eventually got pretty embarrassing… to say the least

But it didn't prepare Jim for the many trials to come, and perhaps only because his mind was exceptional did they all live to talk about it.

Or not…

… talk about it. They did live, of course.

They just… might choose not to discuss it.

They could think about it, though.

Anyway… this is the story of the time when everyone's true emotions were brought to the surface.

For a day.

This is just the beggining.


As I said in the description, this will be based on the MTF AWESOME! TOS episode called "The Naked Time" (yeah that's right, that's what it's called ;), which I rewatched a couple of days ago and let me tell you people, is MADE of AMAZING and COATED with INCREDIBLE. It has everything, and I mean everything (with the exception of Chekov! But I'll write him in here, this is a Reboot Rewrite after all!).

Anyways, did you know that the number of reviews eventually becomes directly proportional to the speed with which the next chapter is uploaded??? Fact of nature, I have nothing to do about it! Isn't that interesting?


I just love to cackle.