A/N: My first FMA fanfic. It's rated T only for Ed's mouth near the end. Please let me know what you think.
Waking up alone was not how Edward wanted to start his day. Especially this day. Instead of waking up in the arms of his lover as he had become accustomed to, he awoke to silence unbroken by soft breathing and cold sheets. Upon lifting his head to look for Roy, Ed saw a note with his name on it sitting innocently on the nightstand.
Hawkeye called this morning, Hakuro requested a meeting today so I had to leave for work early this morning. It'll probably take most of the day so I'll see you when I get home tonight.
Ed felt a stab of disappointment. He didn't want to be alone all day. Roy was supposed to have the day off today and spend it at home with him. With a sigh, Ed got out of bed and proceeded to get dressed for the day. If Roy wasn't going to be at the house then Ed would just go to the office and wait for him. At the very least he could talk to the other people in the office. With that hopeful thought, the blond alchemist trudged toward Central Command.
Ed entered the office quietly which caused the occupants to look up in surprise.
"What?" Ed asked suspiciously. Was it really so weird for him to walk into the office?
Havoc chose to respond while the others went back to whatever they were doing beforehand. "Nothin', Boss, it's just weird to see you walk in here without slammin' doors and such."
Apparently it was weird for him to just walk into the office. With a shrug directed at Havoc, Ed strode across the room toward Mustang's inner office. He didn't feel like talking to Mustang's team so much anymore. They might have kept him from being alone but they were not who he wanted to be around right now.
"The Colonel's at a meeting right now, Edward." Hawkeye stated slowly, clearly thinking she was telling Ed something he should have already known.
Ed paused with his hand on the door to reply, "Yeah, I know. I'm just gonna wait for him in his office."
"He'll be gone most of the day."
"Yeah, I know." Ed repeated with a slight snarl. He didn't need to be reminded that he had to wait for Roy yet again.
With that, Edward yanked the door to Mustang's office open, walked in, and let the door slam behind him. He leaned his back against the now closed door and took a deep breath. He was sure he'd regret being testy with Hawkeye later but right now he didn't care much. All he wanted was to spend this day with Roy. Was it really that much to ask?
Ed looked around with a slight frown on his face. He had figured he would feel better being in Mustang's office but instead he just felt alone all over again. Slowly, he walked around the desk and tucked himself into Mustang's chair; taking a deep breath and feeling himself relax just a little. The chair smelled of Roy and Ed found himself reveling in this. Mustang's scent always did have a way of comforting him.
The blond alchemist went to put his feet on the desk and make himself at home when his boots accidently knocked a few papers to the floor. Bending down to pick them up, something at the top of one of them caught his eye. What is this? Ed thought as he began to read. Almost immediately he dropped the paper as if it burned him and scrambled back, putting as much distance between him and it as he could. A will. Roy's will. What the hell was Roy doing writing out a will? Ed began to hyperventilate.
Was Roy sick?
Was that why he would write a will?
If so, then why didn't he tell Ed?
Was Roy keeping something important from him?
The questions shot rapid fire through Ed's mind as he continued to stare in shock at the offending piece of paper. He felt the beginnings of hysteria coming on. He couldn't lose Roy. He just couldn't. In direct contrast to his previous state of immobility, Ed hurled himself off the floor, threw the horrible papers back on the desk, and all but sprinted himself out of the office. He just couldn't deal with this right now.
"Hey, Boss. Where ya… hey!"
Ed stormed by Havoc as fast as he could and as soon as he cleared headquarters he broke into a run back to the house he shared with Roy. Horrible thoughts and questions bombarded him all the way there, each one worse than the last. Many curious onlookers watched in sick fascination as Ed ran by them but he didn't care. Ed just barely made it home and into the bedroom before he collapsed on the bed and began to sob uncontrollably, the stress of the day finally managing to catch him.
What a stupid meeting. Roy thought as he walked back to his office. He would have much rather stayed in bed with Ed this morning. In fact, staying in bed with Ed was preferable to just about anything. With a smile on his face due to the image of Edward in bed, Roy strode into his office intent on finishing his work so he could make that image a reality. He waved his subordinates at ease when they all stood and saluted without breaking stride but stopped when Hawkeye spoke.
"Sir, Edward stopped by the office this morning."
The Colonel resumed heading for his office, his smile widening at the thought of Ed. "I take it he's waiting for me then. I'll just go see…"
"No, sir, he's not."
He stopped again. "What?"
"Edward stopped by but then he ran out of your office several minutes later and hasn't been back since."
"Did he say anything?" Roy asked with a frown.
"Just that he knew you had a meeting but was going to wait for you. He didn't say anything after he went into your office."
"Strange. Thank you, Lieutenant."
Roy then closed himself in his office and immediately picked up the phone to call the house. It rang but no one answered. He frowned and then strode back out of his office.
"My meeting's over and the rest of the paperwork can wait, I'm going home."
Upon entering his house, Roy called for Edward but got no response. Was Ed even here? The Flame Alchemist walked toward the bedroom in search of his lost lover and found Ed still crying softly on the bed they shared, hugging Roy's pillow tight to his chest.
"Ed…" Roy said softly.
Ed didn't respond verbally but he did move enough to look up at his lover. When their eyes met, Ed's immediately filled with even more tears and he began to cry in earnest again, burying his face back into the pillow. Roy wasted no time; he strode over to the bed and wrapped his arms around the blonde. For the longest time they both stayed like that; Ed weeping and Roy holding him lovingly, whispering soothing words into his hair.
When Ed's tears finally slowed, the black-haired alchemist tried to talk to him again. "What happened?"
At first the older man thought Ed wasn't going to answer but then he said quietly, "I went to your office today."
Roy stayed silent, patiently waiting for his lover to continue.
"I woke up and you weren't here and I wanted to see you so I went to headquarters to wait for you. I was just going to wait for you in your office but…"
Ed trailed off so Roy gently prompted "but…?"
"You'd tell me if something was wrong right?"
Confused at the apparent change of subject, Roy answered slowly, "Of course I would, Ed. You know that."
Ed shook his head, "Then why are you writing a…a…" He trailed off again but then whispered quietly, "…will?"
Suddenly something clicked into place in the older man's mind. He knew it was wrong but he couldn't help it, Roy laughed. Of course he regretted it immediately when Ed recoiled as if he had been struck. Hurt practically poured from the blonde's tear filled eyes.
Roy sobered quickly upon seeing this and reached out for Ed again.
"I'm sorry, Ed. I didn't mean to laugh but I was so worried about you when I came home and saw you like this and then to find out it was something so trivial…"
Again Roy knew he did the wrong thing. Ed recoiled once more and glared at him through a fresh set of tears.
"Trivial?" He said in disbelief.
"Come on, Ed, I didn't mean it like that."
"I had you worried!?" The younger man shouted. "I thought you were fucking dying! What was I supposed to think when I walk into your office and see a will out on your desk, you bastard!?"
"I thought…" Ed began just as loudly, but then quieted as all the anger seemed to evaporate, "I thought I was losing you."
The smaller alchemist broke eye contact with Roy and hugged his knees to his chest.
"Oh Edward" the older man said softly. What a misunderstanding. Roy reached out for Ed again and pulled the compliant alchemist to him. Ed just clung to him and sobbed into his jacket. The dark-haired man rubbed one hand up and down the blonde's back in a gesture of comfort as the other hand cradled the back of his lover's head. Neither knew how much time passed but eventually Ed stopped crying again.
"Why were you coming to see me today?" Roy asked when Ed calmed down, trying a hopefully safer subject.
Ed sniffled but answered, "I didn't want to be alone."
Sensing there was more to it than that, Roy asked, "Was that the only reason?"
"No," the blond said, then he paused a minute before saying, "Today's the anniversary of my mom's death."
For the second time that evening Roy felt something click into place in his mind. No wonder Edward had reacted the way he had. First he woke up alone despite the fact that Roy was supposed to have the day off and then he found out the person he loved was writing a will. Ed probably spent the entire day here alone thinking the most awful thoughts about Roy dying just as his mom had.
With that thought, Roy pulled Ed even closer to him and whispered harshly, "I'm so sorry, Ed. I didn't know. The will is a military thing. All higher ranking officials have to update their will every year around this time. I'm not sick or dying, ok?"
"You promise you'd tell me if something was wrong?"
"Yes of course I would. I love you."
Ed buried his face deeper into Roy's jacket. "I love you too, just don't ever scare me like that again, ok?"
Roy gently moved away from Ed a bit and tilted his lover's face up. "I won't."
The older man slowly leaned down and kissed Ed softly, pouring every bit of love he could muster into that kiss. Ed responded just as softly and felt a weight lift from his shoulders. Roy was okay. He wasn't sick. Ed still only had one reason to hate this day. Roy broke the kiss and laid them both down on the bed together. No more words were said but they weren't needed as the two alchemists held each other for a long time. They both knew Roy couldn't promise to never leave Ed alone, the world was a dangerous place after all, but they had each other right now and for Edward that was enough.