Hello! This is a simple drabble inspired by a t shirt my friend saw while on a trip. Nothing negative meant towards any 'bot mentioned in this, especially poor Wheeljack.... although you do have to admit he was asking for it in the end.

Disclaimer: I own nothing, if it might surprise you to know.



It was common knowledge shared between both Autobot and Decepticon alike that while being an engineering genius, Wheeljack was a mech that sorely needed a warning label affixed to his chassis at all times. If any mech objected to this statement, proclaiming it as an unfair accusation, one only needed to spend a few orns in the Ark to realize that any pity held for such ideas would be quickly destroyed in a firey explosion born of one of Wheeljack's many 'experiments'.

Of course, Wheeljack tried his hardest to keep the blow ups to a minimum (I swear, Optimus, I didn't realize that the molecules would be unstable after adding the liquid detergent!), but it had gotten to the point where it became routine to hear muffled booms coming from the far side of the Ark, where the engineer's lab was currently stationed.

New mechs arriving would spend the first few Earth weeks on board the Ark flinching and drawing their weapons at every loud BANG that rattled the walls, much to the amusement of the other 'bots that could distinguish between an attack and Wheeljack's newest experiment malfunctioning (or functioning, depending on what it was Wheeljack was working on at the moment). Eventually things would settle down into a routine, the explosions melting into the background noise, occasionally punctuated by Ratchet's yells as he had to patch up the engineer yet again.

Unfortunately Bluestreak was the newest traveler to the Ark, and today the poor Datsun was about to learn that some things took time to become routine. Bumblebee had been designated to be the new arrival's tour guide, and along the way the yellow 'bot was giving out some 'helpful' words of advice.

"Oh, and another thing to remember, don't touch Sunstreaker's polish unless you want to be on the receiving end of his-" Suddenly Bumblebee stopped, eyes widening as Wheeljack came barreling down the corridor, running as if demons from the pit itself were chasing after him. Without a second thought Bumblebee turned and started running, leaving poor Bluestreak to stand around wondering why Bumblebee vanished.

"Hey guys, where are you going? Are we having a race?" Bluestreak turned, noticing that other 'bots who had caught sight of Wheeljack's hurried nature were suddenly dropping what they were doing and making haste after the engineer. Even Prime took one look at what was going on and started hurrying in the direction that Wheeljack was going, which was very peculiar, because didn't Optimus specifically state that there would be no racing in the corrid-

The next thing Bluestreak's optics processed was the terrifying slightly slagged off visage of Ratchet's face peering closely into Bluestreak's, and with a small yelp the Datsun sat up, processors jumbled and struggling to keep up with the odd turn of events. "What happened?"

"Mr. Genius over there decided to welcome you to the Ark by blowing you to pieces." Ratchet jerked a thumb over at a miraculously in piece Wheeljack, who was doing his best to look apologetic enough to avoid being taken apart by the angry medical officer.

Dazedly Bluestreak let his eyes slide over to Bumblebee, who was clearly relieved to see that his charge wasn't missing limbs anymore. "Er, I forgot to mention the most important thing to remember."

"What would that be?" Bluestreak asked wearily as Ratchet advanced on Wheeljack, wrench at the ready.

Bumblebee grinned. "If you see Wheeljack running, try to keep up."


The shirt my friend found read: "I'm a bomb technician. If you see me running, try to keep up." Too inspiring to let go. ;)