I would like to thank my lovely beta Krysti, afragilelittlehuman, and Bostongirl1212 for their invaluable help getting this posted. And as always my bestie Tina who keeps me sane in an increasingly insane world. Ladies I am forever indebted to you. Snap your fingers and I'll come running. Unless Rob wants me and then you can all kiss my ass. Just kidding...sorta. Also, when you have sex in RL you should definitely use a condom but this is ff and there are no condoms in my story. If it makes you feel better to pretend that Edward is using one, then by all means, pretend away.
I sat next to him on the sofa. Careful not to get too close. I just can't bring myself to tell Edward. How the hell could I explain it to him without sounding crazy? No, it was better this way, I thought. Just to be with him was enough. It doesn't matter what part of his life I hold, just so I'm there somewhere. Yeah, just keep telling yourself that. Though, it was growing increasingly difficult to hide my feelings from Edward.
I had been weary of touching him for fear I won't be able to stop. But something was changing. I can feel it in the air between us the last few weeks and I wonder if it wouldn't just be better to tell him. Just put it out there. But we have been friends for so long. Frankly, I'm terrified that revealing my feelings to Edward will change all of that.
"I kicked your ass again!" Edward laughed, looking down at the video game controller in his hand.
His hands. I loved to watch how his fingers curled around the controller. His fingers. I knew I needed to stop staring. I pulled my eyes up to his face and for a second couldn't catch my breath. He was looking at me and smiling that perfect crooked smile. His lips. Edward's smile faltered and I felt the air around us crackle. His mouth was hanging open and his expression, I imagined, mirrored my own. Just. Tell. Him. My gaze traveled upward. His eyes. So green. My thoughts warred. Just fucking tell him.
Edward stood abruptly, effectively breaking the trance. "You want another beer?" he asked, running his fingers through his already messy hair.
"Sure," cause that will make this easier.
Edward walked to the kitchen, as I tried to calm myself down. I don't know if it has anything to do with the alcohol, but it's not working. My heart is beating wildly and I can't control my thoughts. I am having the hardest time remembering why I don't want him to know how I feel. My body feels on fire. Oh God if just the look of him feels this good imagine how good he must feel. I stifled a groan. Even if he throws me out, wouldn't it be better than this torture? He came back then and held the bottle out to her. I reached for the neck to avoid contact with him. He sighed as he sat down heavily.
"Bella is there something you want to tell me?" he asked.
"Of course not Edward" I shook my head while my stomach fluttered. "Right," he huffed.
After a few minutes he cleared his throat and asked, "So, are you gonna let me kiss your ass or what?" He took a drink of his beer, coughing and spitting when he realized what he had said.
"I...I..." he stammered. I didn't laugh. Something inside of me had snapped. This man. I knew in that instant I was going to tell him and I was going to make damn sure I get to touch him before he throws me out. This could be damnation or salvation. He was still trying to explain himself as his face continued to redden.
Edward sat with arms beside him, his eyes down cast. Suddenly, I felt no nervousness and raised up on my knees and swung one leg over, straddling him. He sucked in a breath and flinched, his head jerking back slightly. Still he did not look up.
"You want to know why I don't touch you" I asked. He nodded once, his brows knitting together. "There seems to be two sides to you Edward. A good boy and a bad boy." I raised my right hand to cup his cheek. So warm. "Angel," I spoke softly. I let my right hand fall and held up the other to touch his left cheek with the back of my fingers. "Devil."
"I have the same thing going inside me when I'm with you. Two different urges, two different voices screaming at me."
With my fingers under his chin I raised his eyes to mine. "Will you help me decide which to listen to?" He looked at me through his lashes and nodded.
"Part of me wants very much to rub your back when you have had a bad day. Cook for you and tell you jokes to make you smile." I placed my hands on his shoulders and leaned in to the right. Snaking my tongue out and licking up his neck to his ear. "Love him," I crooned in his ear. Leaning back, I noticed he was breathing hard, his eyes darting around. That's got to be a good sign. "Mmmm" he hummed.
"The other" I continued, "she's a beast really, wants very much to tie you to the bed and spend everyday of forever seeing how many times a day I can make you cum." Edward moaned and the sound was exquisite. Once again leaning to his ear, this time nipping a little with my teeth, I hissed "fuck him".
He shivered as I pulled back again, finally looking into his eyes. "Tell me what would please you Edward." I was becoming rapidly more aware of my position on him. His legs. He inhaled deeply through his nose and smirked.
"In order to decide properly, I will need to sample both," he said.
I couldn't help giggling, feeling a bit giddy. He's not throwing me out. "You are such a dork," I told him.
He quirked an eyebrow, "do you want to see this dorks dick or not?" Uh oh, the bad boy!
Edward moved then, placing his hands on my hips. He wants me. We stared at the others mouths, as we slowly inched closer together. Our lips barely brushing, then his mouth opened and he took my top lip into his and sucked lightly. So soft. He pulled back slightly licking his lips, "mmm...thank you," he whispered.
My eyes widened. Shit. "Did I just say that out loud?" I asked him.
"You have been saying things like that all evening," he said, still watching my mouth.
"Yep, stuff like that and something about my fingers and the truth." I covered my face with my hands and groaned. So embarrassing.
He tried to pull my hands away, "don't be embarrassed, I like knowing what you are thinking. It's like I can read your mind. Besides, now that you have finally told me the truth, I can think of much better things to make you moan, Bella."
I realized how silly I was being. He wants me and I am wasting time. I dropped my hands from my face and scooted my body closer to him, crushing our chests together. We both moaned at the contact. My eyes rolled back in my head at the feel of his erection against my sensitive mound. His arms slid up my back as he held me tighter. His arms. He brought his mouth back to mine, kissing me fully. I rubbed myself against him, the ache between my legs increasing. Long moments passed as we explored each others mouths, licking and sucking. When the need for air became unbearable, I rested my forehead against his, breathing him in. He even smells good.
I lifted myself off his lap. Kicking game controllers out of the way, I took a few steps then turned back to face him. I kept my eyes fixed on his as I lifted my shirt over my head. I tossed it in the corner and then reached behind my back to unfasten my blue lacy bra. Slowly, I pealed it from my body, sending it in the same direction as the shirt. Next came my jeans and I stood before him in just panties. His eyes roamed my body appreciatively. I want him to touch me everywhere.
"I plan to," he said as he stood. Damnit, I'm still thinking out loud!
"Yep," he smirked as he stalked toward me. What is he doing to me that I have lost control over my own thoughts? "I haven't done anything yet, but I can't wait to see you lose control," he replied.
He stopped a foot away, pulling his black tee off his body and letting it drop to the floor. His chest. He smiled, his head tilting to the side as he ran his fingers through his hair. His hair. I gulped loudly, unable to hide my reaction to him any longer. Hooking my thumbs into the straps of my panties and sliding them down my hips while he went to work on his buttonflys. I watched in awe as he let them pool at his feet. He wasn't wearing any underwear and my mouth gaped at the sheer beauty of him. His cock. I licked my lips unconsciously, unable to look away. I have wanted him for so long. He closed the distance then, crashing our lips together.
When his tongue found mine, I moaned wantonly into his mouth. I could feel his cock against my stomach and shamelessly writhed against him. He broke away to catch his breath. He tastes so good. He smirked, then began placing light, open-mouthed kisses down my neck, not allowing an inch of space between our bodies. My hands ran over the backs of his thighs up to his ass, pulling him impossibly closer. So hard. His hands moved down my arms from my shoulders to my elbows. He gently pushed me back, releasing me. Turning, he walked back to the sofa. He sat and crooked his finger beckoning me to him.
I hesitated, taking in the sight of him for a moment. He sat with his arms stretched out along the back of the sofa. His feet on the floor, knees parted, his cock sticking straight up against his stomach. So fucking beautiful. I went to him then. Edward took my hands and helped me to straddle him again. I brushed the hair from his forehead, skimming my hands around his jaw and down his neck. I continued running my fingers through the hair on his chest. So perfect.
We kissed slowly and passionately, both feeling the electricity in the air. His hands tangled in my hair. He broke the kiss, using one hand on the back of my neck to pull me backward slightly. His other hand roamed down the base of my throat, between my breasts. Then, he pulled me back to him, bringing our mouths back together, trailing light kisses down my throat. When he reached my chest, he began licking all around my nipple before taking it into his mouth and sucking.
"Are you talking or thinking love?," he laughed, switching his ministrations to the other breast.
He slid his hand down between our bodies, running his finger through the wetness of my folds. My head fell forward to his shoulder at the feel of him finally touching me, whimpering. He turned his head to the side and reclaimed my lips. I brought my hand from his waist to wrap around his cock. I squeezed him gently and he twitched.
He moved his hand to his shaft, covering my own. He pulled me closer with his arm around my waist. Our combined hands on his dick swirled the head around my moistness.
"Do you feel how wet you make me?"
"Uh," he grunted, lining himself with my entrance. We both removed our hands as he pushed slowly in to me. So full.
I gripped his shoulders. lifting myself nearly all the way off of him only to slam back down. So good. I continued this way, raising slowly until only the head remained and quickly ramming myself back down onto him. It was the sweetest torture. I could feel wires crossing in my brain, everything cloudy until finally I could see with perfect clarity that his dick meant happiness.
"Fuck," he panted. His hands on my hips moved me faster. The orgasm built inside of me violently as he moved his hand to my clit and stroked.
"Fuck Edward, you're too much, I'm gonna cum." I cried. Lights exploded in my vision as my walls clenched around him. "Edward," I screamed over and over.
Then he was throbbing inside of me holding my hips to him. His eyes closed and his mouth parted as he muttered a string of curses. Wrapping our arms around each other, we held each tightly while our breathing steadied. He placed sweet kisses on my lips.
"That was amazing," I told him honestly. He chuckled, bouncing me slightly in his lap. He was getting hard again and my stomach twisted with need for him. Again?
"Mmmm...I thought you would never ask," he whispered.
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