A.N.: Thanks to everyone who subscribed this to their story alerts. And thanks to the small amount of people that reviewed this. It makes me write faster. The reviews. So…yep. Enjoy the citrus. Uh, let me just say graphic before you start reading. Because honestly, I have no idea what you guys consider "graphic" these days. I mean seriously. I'm a perv. And I'll fuckin' be as graphic as I want. Because why? This is MY story, and I will do with it I please and you will love it. Comprende? Awesome. Alright, now you may enjoy.
"Clary, I can't--I wouldn't be able to take it if your were hurt." Jace choked out, with more emotion in his voice than she usually heard.
She remained thoughtful for a second before she answered, "Jace, I will get hurt if I don't learn how to defend myself."
He looked at her, desperation in his eyes. Desperation and determination. "Clary, I'll never let anything or anyone hurt you. Why can't you just leave it at that?"
"Because Jace," Clary huffed, setting down her coffee on a short table and crossing her arms over her chest. "I don't want to be some defenseless damsel always calling to you in times of need."
Jace's face softened a little, "But I want you to call on me in your times of need."
Clary tried to push back a small bubble of anger, but couldn't help it as she said, "What if you aren't there when I call?" Silence. "Or you can't get to me? What would you do then?"
"I'd send Alec." Jace said immediately.
"You are unbelievable!" Clary exclaimed, pushing him away from her and going to pace around the room. "Jace, I need to be trained, and if you won't do it, I'll find someone else."
"No," Jace said stubbornly, "I won't have that. I won't have someone else hurting you. Because if you begin to train, getting hurt is inevitable."
"Yeah well, me getting hurt by something else is almost inevitable too," Clary countered, stopping in front of him with her hands on her exposed hips.
Jace's eyes averted to the floor, his face hardening while his mind tried to ignore how sexy that skin was…or how hot she looked when she was angry. "Well, it's not happening. Ever. I won't allow it." He knew that she didn't want anyone but him to train her. That's just how she was.
"Won't allow what?" She asked, snatching up her coffee and shooting daggers at him.
He lifted his hard expression to hers, the one they both hated seeing on each other. "Neither." He answered. "Neither to training or you getting hurt." He looked away from her piercing green eyes to keep his face from softening automatically.
Clary let out a small groan of frustration. "Jace please, what do I have to do to convince you?"
"You can't," Jace said, "convince me, I mean." He folded his arms across his chest, his jaw working. No way would he bruise Clary with his own hands, or cause a limp in her leg, or break a bone. Sure, he could just heal it with an iratze, but it would still hurt at first. He would not inflict harm on Clary, nor let anyone else. And yeah, he could be gentle, but what good what that do? Demons or enemies won't be gentle with her.
"You know what?" Clary asked, throat tight as she went to throw away her coffee and exit the room. "I can't do this Jace Lightwood. Goodbye."
"Clary," his eyes widened, "what on earth are you talking about?" No, she couldn't be doing this.
She shook her head, "I'm sorry Jace, but if you won't train me, I have to find someone else. Don't call, or expect me to call." She said, tears choking any other words she might have planned on saying. Sure, it was a little rash, but seriously…what the hell? By the angel Clary gets hurt and Jace goes on a rampage to find out who did it.
Did she just break up with Jace? Aww, man, they haven't been together for more than three days, officially, and now she was just leaving him? Like that? No, she had a plan. She expected him to cave, to go after her. But he didn't. He just stood frozen, there in the doorway of the training room.
His eyes became glassy as he watched her leave, he wanted to tell her to wait, that he'd do anything, but he was shocked that that'd happened so fast.
Clary started crying once she got into the elevator and pressed the down button. She felt cold. Had he been lying when he said he loved her? A loud crack of thunder reverberated through the church walls as she opened the door, tears dripping down her face as she zipped up her big puffy jacket and pulled down her hood. It was raining cats and dogs.
The heavens were crying for her.
She felt like a part of her soul had just been torn away, no matter how dramatic it sounded, it was true, that's how it felt. She also felt hollow, like she had no purpose. Who would train her? Her mother? No, she was busy helping Luke with things over at the Glass City. She didn't want Isabelle, nor Alec, or Mayrse, or even Robert to train her. She only wanted Jace. Jace. That name brought even more tears to her eyes.
She watched as the cars sped past her in the murky watery street with mild interest as she walked her way home. She hadn't stayed out all day. Maybe she could go to Simon's…no, she wanted to be alone. If Luke and her mother wanted time alone, they could go somewhere else.
Clary wiped her feet off on the door mats and pounded on the door in warning before twisting her key in the lock. She walked towards the kitchen, trying to stop her tears and her hiccupping. When she hung her jacket up and stepped inside the kitchen, she found her mother and Luke sitting at the table looking concerned.
"Jace called," her mother said, sipping at her coffee while Luke held the phone in his hand and observed Clary closely.
"I don't want to talk. I'm going to go lie down." Clary made towards her bedroom.
Luke moved with effiecent speed and grace to block her path. "Clary what happened? Jace sounded…" Luke was going to say hollow, "worried."
"What'd he say?" Clary asked, shaking out her fiery red hair and tugging off her sneakers.
"Uh, he said…what's the word I'm looking for…" Luke bit his lip. "Jocelyn?"
Jocelyn looked at Clary with motherly concern over her coffee cup. "He said you two broke up."
"That's his fault." Clary answered, a bit too snappy. "He wouldn't train me."
Luke sighed and set the phone on the rickety brown table. "We could have found someone for you. Someone willing."
Clary looked up into Luke's worried eyes, "Luke, I only want Jace. And if he's not going to train me, we're just always going to be arguing until he does." Clary felt tears sting at her eyes and looked over at her mother and did a double glance, noticing that the two were dressed up.
"Where are you guy going?" Clary asked, hoping to distract them. Breaking up with Jace had been stupid, but she hadn't meant to do it, she'd done it because he was supposed to give in. But he just…well…he just stood there. So she'd left.
They both looked uncomfortable. "Well, there's a Gala in Idris…Magnus is making a portal soon." Luke told her. "B-but we I mean, we can stay if you want us to."
Clary sighed. Oh, she was grateful they were leaving, that way, they wouldn't be able to hear her wails of agony which she knew were sure to come. It was just like her to do something as impulsive as to break-up with Jace. Yep, Clary Fray here, her temper is as fiery as her hair. "No, I'll be fine here."
Luke looked at Jocelyn, who said, "We really should be going." He nodded and looked back to Clary, "Listen, if you need anything, anything at--"
"Luke," Clary put a hand up to stop him as her mother went to stand beside him in an elegant emerald green gown. She looked like a goddess. A goddess with fiery red hair. "I promise, I'll be fine. Go." she ushered them both towards the door. "Go. Go on shoo." Her throat was still tight with loss.
She got a kiss on the forehead from Luke and a kiss on the cheek and a tight hug from her mother before they popped open the umbrella and walked out into the rain.
She closed the door and sagged against it, already hearing their fading footsteps. And that's when the pain hit her. Horrible, heart-wrenching pain. Sure enough, a small moan of agony tore its way out of her throat and turned into a wail as hot tears slid down her pale porcelain cheeks.
Clary cried herself to sleep within ten minutes and fell into a deep dreamless sleep.
Thunk, thunk, scratch! Thunk…thunk…scratch…. Clary snapped out of sleep immediately, her head going from being nestled in between her knees, to slamming in surprise against Luke's door. She hissed in pain and got up slowly, her mind feeling groggy, her eyes still swollen from crying so much.
She leaned against the door, listening for the sound that woke her up. It had become unnervingly quiet, the only sound was the faintest of thunder and her heavy breathing. Her heart was pounding. Had someone broken into the shop? The house?
Her heart pounded in her chest as fast as a hummingbirds, adrenaline pumping through her veins and making things seem odd and kind of slow motion. She was terrified. It couldn't be Simon. He had a key, plus, he always called before he came over, and she hadn't heard the phone ring.
Her hand wrapped around her stele, the only thing that was in sight besides a kitchen knife, which she decided to grab after a few moments of hesitation. The blade she'd had earlier was in her big puffy jacket. And that was in the direction of the sounds she was hearing.
She searched desperately for some place to hide, but came up with nothing but under the table, which really didn't provide much cover or protection against anything.
Scrape, scratch, thunk! The sounds where getting closer.
Clary swallowed loudly and felt her back press against the counter, her stele and the kitchen knife braced in both hands.
It was coming from the living room. Scratch, scrape, drag, thunk! Oh god, it was getting close…
There was a sound, a horrifying sound that sounded something like a cat being tortured and then the dragging noise again. Oh no…Clary couldn't really see anything. It was probably close to sunset, and it had been cloudy and rainy all day; it was very dim in the kitchen. She frantically glanced around her feet, making sure nothing was there to grab them.
Scra-the sound started, then stopped as an insistent knocking came from the door. She'd forgotten to lock it. Clary's hair stood on edge, her body completely frozen with shock.
But the only sound she heard now what the knocking and then, "Clary! Open up! I know you're in there!" More knocking.
It was Jace! Oh god! Jace! She'd broken up with him. She hadn't really had time to think about anything since she'd been woken up by those noises. But she didn't care. She sprinted for the door as fast as she could and threw it open, crashing into Jace mid knock and clinging to him, terrified.
"Clary!" He seemed kind of surprised and relieved that she was hanging on to him like she was. She looked so scared and fragile when she'd pulled the door open. He slowly wrapped his arms around her.
"Oh my god Clary, I'm so sorry." He whispered as the rain started to soak them both.
Her breath was hot and rapid on his ear before she pulled away, "No, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have pushed you like that--"
"Shhh," Jace cut her off, putting a finger to her lips. "I was an ass. I--" he looked down at his muddy combat boots, then back up into her eyes. "You were totally right. You need to learn how to defend yourself."
So many things were running through Clary's mind, but then she remembered, "Jace, right before you got here…I think there was something in the house."
His face turned alert, his eyes scanning past her and over her shoulder. "Where?"
"The living room." She whispered, swallowing, trying to push the sounds out of her head. "The noises…they were horrible…and it sounded like something was dragging itself towards me." A shiver went down her spine.
"I was wondering why you had the kitchen knife and your stele," Jace said quietly, pushing her behind him and walking into the house quietly.
Clary sat at the table where he put her and watched as he walked off, his golden hair dripping and curling slightly from the rain. He was drop dead sexy. She knew she shouldn't have been thinking about this, but she was.
When Jace came back, he shrugged his shoulders, seeming only a little lost in thought. "Whatever is must've been is gone. I used the sensor, it didn't really pick up on anything." he said, sitting down across from her and gazing deeply into her emerald eyes, searching.
"Listen, Clary…about earlier…when you said…" he seemed pained, and like he didn't want to show it. But he knew he couldn't hide his feelings from her. "I meant to go after you…but…you breaking up with me kind of floored me for a bit." He laughed shakily, running a hand through his hair.
Clary could smell the coffee in the pot burning and leaned back to shut it off. "It was a mistake." she said quietly, her face showing the regret of their earlier spat.
Jace's head snapped up, his face hopeful. "Really?" He asked slowly. "We're…I can't live without you Clary." he said truthfully, gazing at her with eyes like molten gold.
She got lost in them for a second and licked her lips. "Yeah." She agreed. "Same here…so…"
"We're together?" Jace asked, raising an eyebrow quizzically.
Clary sucked in a deep breath. "God…yes Jace. You don't even want to know how much I cried…which was a lot. I made a big deal…sorry."
"Don't be sorry." Jace said, getting up and taking a step towards her. "You're a shadow hunter, and you have every right to be trained. To defend yourself, hunt…" he took her face between his palms, his big, warm palms. "I made a big deal." He admitted. It was a little hard for him to say it. "I messed up…"
"Wow," Clary smiled a little. "Jace Lightwood, admitting to something he did wrong. Are pigs flying? Has hell put in and ice skating rink?"
Jace flashed her a heart melting crooked smile. "Maybe…" he trailed, gazing into her eyes deeply. She felt like they were looking at each other's souls at that moment. And maybe they were. But when Jace pressed his lips to hers, all thoughts flew out of her head and focused on their kiss. Her head tilted upwards, her heart hammering in her chest, his warms hands on her cheeks, her neck, her shoulders.
In one motion, Clary stood up from the chair so Jace didn't have to bend over so far, and didn't break the kiss as she tangled her hands in his damp silky hair. The texture of his soft golden locks threaded between her fingers always gave her a small little thrill.
The kiss became deeper as they traced each other's lips with their tongues and wrapped their arms tightly around one another's body. Clary sighed into his mouth when his hand rubbed along the small of her back. Suddenly, something lit up, and became urgent. Their tongues collided together passionately, and she felt her back press against something hard. A wall. Which wall it was, she had no clue.
He pressed his body against hers and she could hear him groan in the back of his throat as his thumbs massaged her hip bones. She moaned softly and automatically felt her legs wrap around his waist. His kisses became hungry and needy along with hers as they tangled with one another, their mouths moving together hotly and fervorently, more passionate than they'd ever been before.
Clary felt her body heat up, and felt the want for Jace to touch her in places she'd never wanted to be touched before grow stronger than ever. "Bed," she rasped, breaking away to breath for a moment before mashing her lips to his again, her tongue thrusting inside his mouth. She didn't even feel self conscious, all she knew was she wanted him, and wanted him now.
"You sure?" He asked breathlessly, pulling away. In what light there was inside, Clary could see his eyes blazing, his pupils dilated so much, she could only see a little bit of that delicious gold in his eyes.
"Now." she demanded, pulling at his shirt impatiently and nipping at his neck, kissing at the hollow of his throat, anywhere her lips could reach.
Her body zinged with the electricity crackling between the two of them as his lips crashed onto hers again, his tongue thrusting hungrily into her mouth as she felt him grip her behind and carry to her room. She didn't know or care how he knew where it was, all she knew was that she was finally in her room. Alone. With Jace. About to make love.
She pulled his shirt off as they plopped on her bed together and she felt his shaking hands reach up to work with the zipper on her black jacket. He tugged once and muttered something about how he was glad there was no buttons on this one. That made her think about the time in the grass in Idris when Jace was working to unbutton her green coat.
"You don't know how long I've waited for this." he told her huskily, breaking away from her lips, breathing heavily.
"About as long as I have," Clary offered, which made Jace chuckle a little as he pulled off her tank top and pulled back to admire her body.
She felt a jolt of heat shoot between her thighs as his eyes roamed her thoroughly. She could practically feel them both shivering and shaking with need and want.
Again, his hands were shaking, but a little more sure as he lifted himself off of her and stood to unbutton his pants and slide them off slowly and crawl on top of her again slowly and place loving kisses all over her face, her jaw, her neck. This was definitely not something she was used to with Jace. Sure, he'd have his vulnerable moments, but he was opening up to her completely now.
"I need you," she told him urgently. "Jace please--" he cut her off by pressing his lips firmly to hers, causing the words to die on her lips as he kissed her breathless, unbuttoning her jeans with shaky hands and pulling them off to reveal her white cotton panties.
He smiled a little, thankful Isabelle hadn't gotten to her yet. His body was wired with nerves as he bent down to attach his lips heatedly to hers, like a thirsty man searching for water in a vast desert. He could never get enough of Clary.
Clary felt something hard and long press against her thigh and gasped into his mouth. He pulled away, "Clary, we can stop…anytime you know…" he said, breathing heavily.
"No Jace, I want you. I need you. I need to be with you." Clary told him, very sure of the fact that she was here, and she was ready for him.
Jace nodded and gulped. "Okay…but first…do you have a condom?" His cheeks flushed a little as he said it but Clary was already reaching the short distance over to her nightstand and pulling out a golden wrapper. He looked at her with awe.
"I got it…from my mom…" she said quietly, blushing.
Jace kissed her belly button softly. "Put it on the nightstand for now." His thumb hooked in the elastic waistband of her panties and started to slid them off. Clary arched her hips, not questioning him, and let him toss them aside to the pile of their clothes on the floor.
She had forgotten how many times he'd done this before. She looked down at him and watched as he crawled on top of her to plant a firm kiss on her lips and unhook the front of her bra. Man, he was good. He even knew it hooked up front.
She took her arms out of it and swallowed as Jace sighed contentedly and dropped it to the floor. He looked sincerely and seriously into her eyes. "I'm going to touch you Clary," she nodded. "Is that okay?" Again, she nodded looking up into his eyes with complete awe and trust. He really was a golden god.
She felt his hands skim up her waist slowly and stop at the curve of her breasts where he brushed the nipples lightly with his finger tips, making her gasp in pleasure. "You're so beautiful," he whispered before he took one of her nipples into his mouth, flicking at it with his tongue. She arched her back violently and gasped. "More Jace, please…" the heat between her thighs was becoming uncomfortably hot.
One of his hands kneaded her breast while he moved back up to kiss her softly, making her writhe under him. She didn't even notice her hand gliding past her hip and towards her thighs. But once it was there, she moaned, a delicious moan that made Jace as hard as a rock for her.
Slowly, he parted her slick folds and coated them with her slick wetness. "God, you're so wet for me Clary," he whispered, breathing heavily and resting his forehead against hers as he experimentally started to insert of finger inside of her. He pulled back to watch her face as he did, but he didn't see pain, all he saw was raw desire and pleasure in her eyes as she they lock with his. He groaned and her tightness and slid it all the way in, causing another moan to erupt from her throat.
It set him on fire, causing him to thrust his finger in and out of Clary slowly, watching her face squinch up in pleasure as he moved it in and out faster. "Jace…" she moaned, feeling something hot start to build in her lower belly. He took this as encouragment for more, so he slowly inserted a second finger inside of her while he continued his ministrations. "Yes…ungh, Jace…" she arched her hips and rolled them against her fingers. "More…" she rasped.
He nodded, inserting a third finger, causing her to cry out softly and breath his name. He kissed a path down her chest, her smooth, flat abdomen, and past to belly button to her sensitive nub.
He looked up at her with questioning eyes, but all she was doing was bucking her hips with his fingers, her eyes half mast as she watched him curiously.
Swallowing, Jace let his tongue dart out to taste her juices. He moaned and pressed his tongue more firmly against her tiny nub, his tongue rubbing across her sensitive clit while he thrusted his fingers in and out of her. This earned a gluttural moan from Clary.
She felt the coil in her belly build and start to get hotter, her walls starting to clench around Jace's fingers. He came back up when she was about to come and kissed her, watching her face contort in ecstasy as he curved his fingers slightly, hitting her g-spot and causing her to cry out, her walls completely closing around his fingers.
It was like fire went through her body and left not destruction, but bliss in its aftermath. Her orgasm washed over her like waves of pure delight, leaving her panting and moaning and wanton for more.
"Jace," she moaned, "I love you."
Jace kissed her softly and passionately, sliding his fingers slowly out of her. "I love you too, Clary." he sighed and rested his forehead against hers, reaching blindly for the condom and closing his hand around it. "Are you ready?" He asked unsteadily, slipping off his boxers.
Clary looked down at his large erection, scared as to how it was going to fit inside of her tiny body, but otherwise sending a jolt of heat between her thighs. "Yes Jace, I'm ready, I need you."
"I know," he sighed, kissing her slowly for a moment while he ripped open the condom and rolled it on his length. He lined himself up with her entrance. "This might hurt a little." He told her.
She looked up at him with innocent eyes, "I trust you," she felt his tip press against her opening and felt something jolt through her body as he slowly sheathed himself completely inside her. She hissed in pain and squeezed her eyes shut.
"Jesus, Clary, I'm so sorry." Jace said, kissing her softly, holding completely still.
Clary kissed him back, whimpering a little while his tongue slid into her mouth lovingly and passionately. She felt the pain fade slowly, and felt it start to be replaced with pleasure.
She wrapped her legs around his waist and arched her hips experimentally, causing Jace to moan, his eyes rolling to the back of his head. "Clary," he groaned.
"Make love to me Jace," she told him. "I'm ready now."
He swallowed and nodded, slowly thrusting in and out of her, moans of pleasure erupting from both of their mouths which were moving together passionately, their tongue battling for dominance.
They broke away, needing oxygen as Jace thrusted into her more steadily, slow and deep. The room filled with their rapid breaths as they made love to one another.
"Jace…" Clary moaned, "Ungh, Jace…I--" she bit her lip. "Faster…harder…" she spread her legs wider for him.
"Clary," he sighed, obliging and going a little faster, causing a hot knot to form in both of their lower bellies. They were close. He rubbed his thumb on her small nub.
Clary cried out, her walls contracting the slightest bit against Jace, driving him towards his climax. He kissed her passionately and gripped her hips, increasing his tempo again and thrusting into her harder, causing her to cry out in ecstasy.
Jace came at the same time as Clary's walls clamped down tightly around him. They both cried out and moaned loudly together as they got swallowed into the rapturous delight of their orgasms, wave after wave rolling over them while they milked each other's climax.
Jace rolled off of her and pulled her into his arms, both of them panting and resting their foreheads against one anothers. Their lips finally met when their pulses slowed and went back to normal.
"I love you," Clary whispered against his lips.
Jace smiled, "I love you to Clarissa Fray," he ran his fingers through her slightly sweaty hair and kissed her again and again until they both fell asleep in each other's arms.
A.N.: Do I need to edit this? Does it feel rushed? Lol. FML. Don't be scared to tell me, I don't bite. I want to be my best :) REVIEW REVIEW!