Guilty Pleasure by ficklepickles


Guilt eats away at him. It's a heavy thing, and he feels it every time he sees him.

Lambo, young and benign, in his spotted cow-print shirt. Sometimes a crybaby. Sometimes a teenager. Rarely a man.

Tsuna has seen many forms of Lambo and from many times and places. It is not often that the Lambo he will see is the same as the one that came before, but they will always be similar, and that is what Tsuna fears.

He is not being fair to the young Bovino, the child who can barely remember a time when he was not with Tsuna. The Vongola has replaced the family that birthed him, loved him, cared for him. Sometimes, Tsuna wants to stop the one who came from the bazooka and just ask if even ten years down the line, is it worth it?

Will Lambo ever regret serving this failure of a boss?

Tsuna isn't stupid. He knows it's cruel, but it's even more difficult to turn him away.

He did it once, asked the Lambo of the future. The droopy eyed teenager replied in an instant that no, he had never regretted it.

Then again, it had never been his choice to make.

It is made all the more worse when as an adult, Tsuna is still facing a younger Lambo, and sometimes one that is a man.

Their meetings are always brief, but without complaint.

Lambo will sit atop his lap and smile, childish and innocent, and wholly affectionate. He loves his boss. Why wouldn't he?

Tsuna has been nearly all he's known for ten years. Tsuna's family. Tsuna's friends. Without Tsuna, Lambo would never even be where he was.

For a long time, Lambo had simply been too young to know better. Tsuna contented himself with the belief that the smiles, the attachment, and the too-long hugs were merely how the overly exuberant boy acted with anyone. Lambo had never respected personal space or boundaries. Tsuna didn't expect him to even after he had become the Decimo.

He was friends with all of his Guardians. Lambo would be no different.

Then one day, Lambo smiled, a bit more shrewdly than usual, and kissed Tsuna on the mouth.

Surprise shot through the young Vongola's body.

Italians kissed on the cheeks as greetings. A kiss on the lips, in whatever culture, was not a simple greeting.

Lambo knew that. He also knew that he loved Tsuna.

That was when the guilt began.

Since the day they had met, Tsuna's life had been involved with the mafia. Lambo's world was ensconced in it, and he had not once experienced what it would have been like without it. Tsuna could not offer him a normal life. He could not turn back the clock and give Lambo what should have been his.

So he offered Lambo what he wanted because it was all he could give. Whatever endearment the young Bovino bestowed upon him Tsuna returned twofold. Lambo kisses him awake in the morning. Tsuna takes him in his arms and kisses him twice on the mouth. Lambo waits for him to finish his work. Tsuna spends the night with him.

Lambo lays in his bed wearing only the Vongola Ring of Thunder. Tsuna leans over him and obliges his every wish.

Tsuna sometimes thinks that it's too cruel. He is too twisted, that he is has lost his morality and his sanity.

Then there is a puff of smoke and a Lambo who still loves him ten years in the future, and Tsuna can't find it in himself to refuse him. Lambo is his in every way, but Tsuna knows that he will also be Lambo's for as long as his Guardian will have him.


end


I wanted to write a L27, but this wasn't what I had in mind at all. So depressing.

Ten minute flashfic.