Well, Here I am. I've been part of this site for almost 6 months and this is my first story. Note that this is my first attempt at really writing for anything. So, in your reviews, be honest but don't be cruel.


1. You probably guessed from the title, that this is gonna include some special guest in the form of a hard-ass Groove Metal band from Texas. Well, I made this because I was surpised and dissapointed of the lack of Pantera in Brutal Legend. So I made this.

2. Now I read the rules that said I can't have an actual person in this story or any story. Well, I intend on bending the characters I made so they won't look exactly like them. Anything that resembles a person, alive or dead, that is not intended, is solely coincidental.

3. I'm a die-hard Metalhead and this is Brutal Legend. Bonus points to who can find references.

4. In memory of "Dimebag" Darrel Abbot, 1966-2004. I'm praying that what I'm writing won't insult him, his legacy, or Pantera. Let me know if anything is offensive towards them and I will remove it.

Cowboys from Hell

Chapter 1

We can't stop here, this is Bat Country!

The ride through the tunnel to the center of the world is always tough, even after Eddie Riggs had done it almost 50 times. Stalagmites, stalagmites and ruins of Ormagoden knows what sticking out of the ground always ended up scratching and knocking off parts of the Druid Plow, which the Guardian of Metal does NOT like. He cherished that dang car like it was his baby, or whatever someone like him might love.

Eddie remembered when he returned the car to the Forge after the adrenaline-pumping escape from Lionwhyte's Pleasure Palace when the Bleeding Deaths invaded. He was sort of afraid to see his reaction, and for good reason. Scratches everywhere, parts missing, pieces of rubble in the torn-up leather seats, blood on the bumper; Eddie held onto his axe and Clemetine should the Guardian get a little too fucking hostile. Fortunatly, the Guardian was pretty mellow that day, but still a bit pissed. He gave Eddie a half-hour speech about how he should "respect the gifts from the Metal Gods and take car of his car" and all that crap. Technically it was the Bleeding Death's fault.

Gods, he didn't need to remember that thing or, for that matter, that time. Lars being slain by that bastard Doviculus, driving like a maniac through all the fire, flames, explosions and falling structers, seeing Lionwhytes (and possibly his own) men being ruthlessly torn apart and crushed by those things and falling buildings, leaving Ophelia behind with a broken heart...

He immediatly recaptured his mind when he found himself driving down the steep slope on the way to the core of the Metal world. Slamming the brakes in an effort not to drive into the lava, the car slowed and Eddie leapt out, and waited for the Guardian.

He showed in a few minutes, which was unusual because he normally showed directly when Eddie appeared. After brushing the coal off his robe, he finally spoke.

"Sorry 'bout that. Emperor Bondage shook up the Underworld when he played the riff to summon that Abomination Overdrive fuck-up. We've been cleaning up this shithole for days."

"We?" Eddie asked.

"Me and the Titans that chose to stay behind while the others became Gods, like that guy over there." He pointed to the gigantic human-shaped figure pounding away at the sword on the anvil. The Titan looked at them and waved, which caught Eddie by surprise. Irregardless, he waved back, but kind of weird for doing it.

"Now what are you doing 'ere? You can't buy more shit. I'm sold out. So what do ya want?" The Guardian impatiently asked.

"Just for a check-up. The car's been making a weird-ass sound. Thought you could look at it."

The Guardian appeared beside the car and snapped his rubber gloves... wait, where did he get those?

"I'll see what I can do." He slid under the hotrod and tinkered with it, making a whole bunch of sounds of concern and acknowledgement. Eddie sat for a bit, and stood when the Guardian popped his head up the side.

"And.... here in lies the problem." He said before holding up something that made Eddie gasp and jump back in fear: A decapitated head of a Drowing Doom Grave Digger.

"You gotta be careful on what you run over." The Guardian of Metal then said, "You never know when some chopped off arm, leg or head might get jammed in your parts." He then threw the head into the lava and paid no attention to the splash that appeared behind him.

"Thanks, man. I apperciate it. I should probably head up." Eddie said as he climbed back into the car.

"Don't mention it." He turned around and prepared to jump back into the lava. "Just make sure you—" The Guardian suddenly stopped when he felt a sharp pain in his head.

"What's wrong?"

"I sense a disturbance in the Land of Metal."

Eddie could not figure out what could be wrong. The Drowing Doom were all but gone, and the Tainted Coil were being kept at bay.

"Tainted Coil?" Eddie asked.


"Drowning Doom?"


"A really pissed-off tourist?"

"Close, but no. It is foreign. Not of this land."

"What should I do?"

"Get off your lazy ass and go look at it!" The Guardian yelled.

"All right." Eddie said as he held his hands in front of him, to show calm the Guardian down. "I'll be back."

"Right. Have fun." Eddie waved as he drove to the surface. "Glad that's over." He leaped into the lava.